TITLE: "My Sassy Princess"

AUTHOR: Maiden of Endor

GENRE: Romance/Humor

RATING: K

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the copyright of Star Wars, its characters, and situations. I'm only borrowing them for this story. Just pure, clean fun!

SUMMARY: On the way to a Rebel Alliance meeting, Han cracks a joke at Leia and ended up calling her a "nerf brain". He never let her live it down throughout the day.

Comment:

Hey! You have made a really nice story, I especially like the last sentence, it was hillarios:o)
There's just a few things I'm confused about. Cloud City is not on Coruscant, it's on Bespin. If your story is set during ESB, then Coruscant would be occupied with stormtroopers and the Emperor, so it would be hard to stay there ;o) Just a little something...
Oh, and is your story set before or after Hoth? It's just these few things that if you set them straight, it would make your story just fab.
Oh, and I would love to see the next chapter soon...so keep writing:o) (From Sarah DK)

ERRATUM: Cloud City is on Bespin, not Coruscant.

(This story happened before Hoth.)

CHAPTER II: Nerf-Brain Organa, Nerf Herder Solo

Leia tried to keep up with Han he walked faster ahead of her. Both were in a hurry to meet with a newly appointed general of the Rebel Alliance, for the meeting was about to start. As they were walking down the halls of their apartelle, Han was doing his best to be quiet. He didn't felt like speaking to Leia, just so he could avoid another arguement with her. He felt so messed up at the fact that Leia spoiled his day at such an early hour. Because she consumed the shampoo in the bathroom, Han retorted to using hair conditioner, even though it doesn't lather too much. Until now, he could still smell the flowery scent of the conditioner lingering on his head. My old friends would laugh at me if they found out that Captain Han Solo uses hair conditioner for shampoo, he muses thoughtfully. Not only that; to add to his grumpiness, he still hadn't eaten breakfast; no thanks to Her Royal Highness, Princess Leia Organa, who forced him to hurry up.

Leia wasn't in a good mood either. She had been with Han for almost a month, and yet, they rarely found themselves on good terms with each other. It all started when Han rescued her from her prison cell in the Death Star. Leia, the Alderaanian chief of staff, was boarding the royal ship, Tantive IV, when Storm Troopers attacked them and took her as a hostage. She was brought to the ruthless Sith Lord, Darth Vader, as a prisoner. She was going to be terminated for acting in a movement against the Galactic Empire, when Han Solo, captain of the Millenium Falcon, together with a Tatooine farmer named Luke Skywalker, rescued her and brought her to safety.

Both became members of the Rebel Alliance, with Han as rebel general. Luke, on the other hand, found out through Obi Wan Kenobi, a retired Jedi master, that he was destined to continue the eradicated Jedi line and fight against the evils of Darth Vader. Obi Wan Kenobi was recently killed in a duel with the Dark Lord, and this dismayed Leia a little. But nevertheless, hope was to be found in the Alliance.

Both stepped out of the apartelle building. Leia smiled as she inhaled the fresh morning air, while Han hailed a cab. A car speeder stopped in front of them. Han was the first to go inside, while Leia followed suit.

As the vehicle was in motion, Han turned his head to look at Leia, who was looking outside the car window. He just wanted to make sure that she wasn't in a foul mood anymore. Since she was smiling a little to herself, and probably enjoying the sights of Coruscant, Han figured out that this was a good time to break the akward silence, which was starting to build up between them.

"Hey, your Highness," he started off. "Do you want to hear a good joke?"

Leia, who was lost in her thoughts, turned to look at Han, who was sitting beside her. Her eyebrows furrowed, thinking, what would I want to hear a joke for? She felt like saying that in his face, but she tried to be polite. "Are you trying to make me laugh?" she asked Han mockingly.

Han smiled sheepishly and said, "Oh come on, don't be so serious most of the time. Learn to live a little. There's nothing bad about joking around every now and then."

Leia thought about how people would find her as a serious person. Sure, she's a driven and dedicated individual who pours all her heart out on work regarding the Alliance. But she also knows how to let her guard down and find time to laugh and be quirky. Only now, she wasn't in a mood to do so. Her mind was preoocupied with work, aside from thinking of ways to get that smuggler off her sight. This annoying creature seems to be with me everywhere I go.

"So, do you still want to hear my joke?" Han asked her.

Leia snapped a finger at him and said, "Alright, go ahead, so you'll be shutting your mouth afterwards." She folded her arms, waiting to hear that most awaited joke.

Han shook his head. What an aristocratic bitch she is. He cleared his throat and started.

"What tree is impossible to climb?" he asked Leia.

Leia glared at him. "That's an old joke. I know that! Of course, a fallen tree! It's impossible to climb a tree that is lying on the ground."

Han winked an eye at her. "You got that right, princess! Okay, here's another one. In what time of the day is impossible to stay up late?"

Leia rolled her eyes, saying, "In the morning."

Han slapped her playfully on the shoulder. "You're so smart!"

"Are you trying to insult my intelligence?" Leia asked him, a tone of annoyance in her voice. "You're so corny, Han. Those are outdated jokes. Everybody knows about it. Why don't you crack a much more difficult joke, you prankster?"

"Oh why not?" Han asked, pretending to be amused. It's so hard to deal with ths humorless woman. "What would you do if a submarine starts to sink?"

That gave Leia a huge mental block. She frowned while thinking of an answer. Han, meanwhile, realized that that was the only thing he needed to say to her in order to uncover her mental weakness.

"Errr..." she mumbled, "What would I do if a submarine starts to sink?" she whispered to herself thoughtfully. Lack of breakfast must be slowing down her thinking processes, so she ended up blurting out, "Ah! I know! I'll board a life boat!"

Hearing her answer made Han double over in laughing. Even the cab driver looked at them, trying hard not to laugh. "Miss, a submarine does sink, because it travels underwater!" he reprimanded Leia. Her eyes widened, realizing that the joke required using human common sense. I'm going to strangle you this time, Captain Solo! She thought angrily. She felt her face turn red and burn with embarassment.

Han was already teary-eyed from laughing so hard.

"I...never...thought...that...you...can...be...a...nerf...brain!" he said in between laughs. He stopped for a while and said, "Oh, why can't you speak there? Have you lost your common sense, your highness?" Then he laughed some more. "Nerf...brain!"

Leia grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shouted angrily at him, not minding that the cab driver might hear her. "For your information, I'm no nerf brain, you moron!" She slapped him on the face.

Han looked shocked at what she did. He felt like hitting her, just like a while ago, but he forced himself not to do it. You should be used to it, he told himself. Cantina girls did it to you all the time whenever you would try to kiss them. He remembered being punched on the nose by a voluptous waitress from the Mos Eisley Cantina, while he tried to kiss her. But this was a different case. Instead, he was trying to deal with a bitchy princess. What is it with her that I couldn't hurt her?

Leia sank back at her seat. Han had stopped laughing. A tense silence grew inside the cab. Leia looked like she was about to cry. She was already full to the brim. She had enough of Han and his annoying ways. She could feel the tears coming, but she gulped hard and tried not to cry. I don't want him to see me this way. How come he knows how to get into my vulnerability? Of all the people she'd been with in the movement, only Han had the ability to treat her just like any ordinary woman, and not as a princess. In his eyes, she was just an ordinary comrade.

The cab stopped in front of a building. Leia was about to get some money to pay for the fare, when Han motioned her not to bother. He pulled out some money from his pocket and gave it to the driver. They got out of the cab, and both walked inside the hall of the Bespin Headquarters of the Rebel Alliance.

They entered the conference room. Leia chose to sit beside Luke Skywalker, who got ahead there first, while Han sat across the table, and away from Leia.

Luke probably noticed that they were not speaking to each other. He tried to break the tension, saying, "Good morning, your highness."

Leia greeted him back and smiled at him. Then he looked at Han from across the table. "Good morning, Captain Solo." Han smiled at him and not uttered a word.

Luke looked back and forth at them quizically. "Why aren't you two speaking?" he asked. "Lovers' quarrel, eh?"

Both pointed a finger at each other and said two things at the same time.

"Go ask Nerf Herder Solo!"

"Go ask Nerf Brain Organa!"