Hello, I'm back again, and angry, very angry. I did not receive any reviews for my last chapter. This makes me angry. So if for some reason your not reading these little notes I put up on top here, maybe this will get you attention. READ THIS RIGHT NOW! READ THIS, I WANT YOU TO HERE ME WHEN I SAY THIS! I NEED REVIEWS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU ARE NOT REVIEWING, YOU SHOULD BE DRAGGED OUT INTO THE STREET AND SHOT!!!!!!
Okay, now that you hopefully you get my message. If there are any questions, save them. Just review, or else you will die. Well, actually, your going to die anyway, so don't think just because you review your going to be immortal or something. Anyway, in this chapter, DRUNKEN IDIOTS! Before you groan however, ask yourself, is it really an adventure without them. By the way I don't own rights to the Black Gates, I just used it metaphorically.
"You're not old until you feel old, and when you think you feel old, you don't really feel old because you don't know what old feels like. Ha, you can't argue with that logic, can you?" Sorry, just a small bit of genius I came up with last night, and I had to say it.
The airship Celsius hung over Mushroom Rock Road, casting a shadow on the small military complex that sat below them. The battle site at Mushroom Rock where Operation Mi'ihen took place back during the pilgramige. It was here that everything in Auron's plan was to come together. The plan wasn't simple, and would definitely not go the way it looked on paper, but it was a classic. Best of all, it didn't involve too many critical points, which battle plans too often do. Auron gave a short outline of just what was supposed to happen.
He told them that most of the military forces in Spira would gather at Mushroom Rock. This would be the focal point of the action. Most of Seymour's fiends would attempt to destroy Spira's armies and take Mushroom Rock. As Tidus had said, the armies of Spira had no chance of destroying the fiends, it was simply impossible. This is where Jehct comes in. Provided he had convinced enough spirits of the farplane to join him, he would be Spira's reinforcements. Jecht would come into Spira after Seymour's fiend army attacked Mushroom Rock, and it would trap the enemy in between his army and Spira's. Seymour, would have no choice but to reinforce his army with everything he had, and that would leave his black gates wide open and unprotected. Hence Yuna and her gaurdians run over to Guadosalem, open the doors and take out Seymour.
That was the battle plan of Spira, it's only defience against a nearly unstoppable juggernaut army. It was fragile at best, but it was a hope, and that was all they had ever needed. (Anyway enough of that mumbo-jumbo let's get on to what we really want, BOOZE!)
It was getting late in the day when Tidus finally arrived at the Moonflow. A small town had now begun to form there, and he decided to stop by a bar, and grab some food. As he started to walk down the street to the bar he met a couple of flat out wasted men who saw the look of him, and decided they didn't want him.
"Ey, you! What are you doing ere! I thought I told you to go back to the pits, where you came from," one of the men shouted in heavily slurred speech. The other laughed stupidly." "Look, gentlemen," said Tidus, who had had quite enough fighting for one day, "I really don't want to ruin your night so if you could just not talk to me, we will all be happier." He knew his torn, tattered and blood stained clothes made him look like he had been in a gang war.
The man continued, "We don't want your kind here, so yooou just go awaaaaaay then." By now Tidus was getting very angry, he was sore from his walking and frustrated from the never-ending fiends. "If you don't want me here, I'm sorry about that, but I have to be here so you just have to live with it for a while." The man suddenly through a fist at him, but didn't even come close. Tidus was about to floor the guy when he thought of something better, and much more fun. "Alright," Tidus said, "If you want to prove that I don't deserve to be here, how about we have a contest. My contest will test your skill, but not just any skill, oh no. It will test something that I believe you are very good at."
20 minutes later.
"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" the crowd chanted as two men sat at a table in the bar. Tidus and the drunk were having a drinking contest.(Yay drinking contests!) After Tidus had given the man a potion and an antidote to sober him up, they began the contest. Tidus slammed down his seventh shot of Vodka on the table to the roar of the crowd around them. "The winner of the first challenge is Tidus of Besaid!" shouted the bartender. "Now we move on to our famous Moonflow Moonshine!"
Hmm, better give the poor b------ a chance, thought Tidus, and he slowed down a little so the local could finish first. "Round two goes to our very own William of the Moonflow!" the bartender shouted again. "Before we finish this," Tidus said, "I say we up the wager a little. You do have hover, do you not Mr. William." The drunk nodded.
"Okay, if I win, I get the hover." The drunk began to talk, but Tidus cut him off. "If you win... you get 6... hundred... thousand... gil." A hush fell across the crowd. "I accept," said the drunk. The bartender explained the rules, "You must first drink this small shot of this drink. It is almost alcohol in its purest form. Once you finish the shot you must run to the bar and lean over it, there will be a dartboard. You will grab six darts and try to plug them into the bullseye. The first person to put all the darts into the bullseye on the floor, and run back to where you started, wins it all. "Ready, set, go!
It was an easy win for Tidus, he downed the shot in a second, and sped over to the bar and he pushed the darts in with ease. When he finished, the drunk was leaning over the bar and was still trying to put in his third dart. "All right man, where are the keys," Tidus said triumphantly. "Nooooooo," the man shouted, I'm not giving them to you!" He broke a bottle over the counter and lunged at Tidus.
Tidus brought up his arm in front of him and the broken shards of the bottle stabbed into the flesh of his arm. Tidus fought not to flinch, to appear stronger. He knocked the guy off his feet. He turned to the bartender, "You do realize that he attacked me first,"
The bartender smiled. "I was shocked when Mr. William broke the bottle and tried to cut Mr. Tidus. Mr. Tidus still tried to calm the man down, to avoid a fight, but he would not listen. Mr. Tidus even tried to warn him to watch his step, before he tripped and fell. It was then Mr. William hit his head on the bar and was knocked out cold."
"You really hate this guy, don't you?" Tidus asked. The whole bar nodded. I like this place more and more every minute, thought Tidus.
The drunk got back to his feet and took a swing at Tidus, but missed as he ducked. Tidus only shook his head and kicked the man in the shin. Then man bent down to grab his shin, and Tidus brought his fist up into a vicious uppercut on the man's forehead. The drunk fell into blackness. Tidus looked down at the wreck of a man below him. I assume this means you will be happy to give me the hover, as well as your wallet, a free night at your house, and anything else I find that interests me. I appreciate doing business with you.
And Tidus did just that. Along with burning the un-read break up note from his girlfriend that was posted on his door, and unplugging his freezer in the basement. He then left a note on the man's door in the morning saying that any damages would be paid for in full by O'aka the third, and he left the number for O'aka Vacations on it. He even was kind enough to "accidentally" leave the man's house keys inside his locked house, just for kicks. He took off in the morning, with an almost brand new hover, and a full tank of gas provided by his good friend William. And I used to wonder why Auron would do these things to the drunks that bothered him in Zanarkand, Tidus thought, chuckling to himself as he left Moonflow for Mushroom Rock.
The Celcius landedon the beach where the Al Bhed and Crusaders fought Sin. It was here, inside the military complex, that they would find their vehicle they were going to use to reach Seymour. They needed something incredibly fast, and incredibly strong. The General told them to go to the military's top mechanic. He said that the mechanic would find them the best vehicle for their purpose.
"So," said Auron to the mechanic as they entered a large hanger, "This is where they keep all the big guns." The mechanic answered like he was bored, "First off all, you understand the full operation techniques and skills necessary to operate and control this class of military craft, right?" "No," Auron said simply, "That your supposed to teach us." The mechanic laughed, "All right, very funny, I have to ask that every time, so it's not good to jok..." "I wasn't joking," said Auron.
The mechanics jaw dropped, "You really mean that you don't know how to operate one of these craft." "That's exactly what I mean," said Auron, "that does not pose a problem, does it?" The mechanic shook his head and muttered something about "I told them a trillion times". He looked back at the group. "We're not gonna have to learn all this, I mean, its pretty simple right?" asked Wakka. "No," the mechanic said, "Its not simple, it usually takes a week of training just to get a legal permit to drive them in emergency field situations." The group groaned in frustration.
"I'll take the course," said Auron, frustrated, "I'll spend the next two days learning it, just give me the basics, because they day after I'm going to be coordinating the battle." "If your going to be coordinating the battle, I'll learn to drive this thing, so I will have the full three days," said Paine.
"No such luck," said Auron, you're going to spending the next two days doing battle preparations. That goes for all of you, the army is going to need all the help they can get, and that won't be enough. Hopefully Tidus will get here soon too."
Okay, you know where I stand as far reviews go. So I'm not even going to bother saying anything. Well I hoped you liked the story so far. Like I said, I'm going to try to wrap it all up. Review! Arrrggg, I said something about reviewing, grrrrr!