The Kiss of Enemies
Chapter 4: The Truth Comes Out
Rated: R
Disclaimer: standard
Author: rain of silver stars
e-mail: notes: this old fic has just taken off in a completely different direction
than I originally planned...I really expected this stand-off to be an angsty one
but I can't bring myself to write Serena pining after Darien anymore. I so
much prefer those moments in the movies and even the show where her
compassion lends her the exact tools necessary to accomplish something great.
And I've always loved the storyline of Darien being this loner with a tragic past
and Serena being the counterpoint to that. So in lieu of that, happiness (and
hopefully humour) abound...read on!
Take me inside your body
Cover me with your soul
To the darkest recess
Is where I wish to go
smashing pumpkins
Serena took in the wary, nearly frightened expression on Darien's face with a
feeling of real confusion. What on earth was he so afraid of?
She thought of the things in her life that filled her with happiness. Her family's
love. Chocolate. Comic Books. Video Games. She couldn't imagine running from
any of them with the terror she could read in Darien's eyes at that moment.
He was tensed, ready to run it seemed. She put the pizza on the coffee table and
straightened, looking around for the first time. She wasn't sure if it possible for him
to have more gray in his apartment. It was the most colourless box she had ever
seen.
She took in the stereo, TV, orderly CD tower, metal magazine rack sorted meticulously.
It took a moment to realize what was missing besides colour, it was photos, mementos,
tacky gifts, memories...She took a deep breath over her sudden heartache. She had
to tread carefully.
"Alright Darien, here's the thing," she started, taking a step around the table and watching
him take a step back, "I think we like each other. I think we have some kind of wierd
connection. I can't explain it," she looked around the bland, gray apartment again and
shook her head, "I really can't explain it, but it feels really good. And I think it can only
feel better the closer we get."
He was listening intently, she could tell, but he still looked fearful, "Look, I know it feels
good," he said, "But that doesn't make it right. And it doesn't mean I have to choose to
go along with it. I don't want to."
She frowned, "But you DO want to--I think that's the problem."
She stepped towards him again and he backed away, heading for his kitchen.
"Darien! What are you so afraid of?"
He met her eyes, "I'm not afraid...I just..." he looked away, ran a nervous hand
through his hair, "I don't like what this--whatever it is--turns me into."
She frowned in confusion. There was something. Something she wasn't remembering.
But what?
She stepped towards him again, "I don't understand. What it turns you into?" she smiled wryly,
"You mean, a good kisser?"
He had put the kitchen table between them now, "Har har. No. Look, Serena, I was never
looking for a relationship in the first place."
Serena raised her eyebrows, "Neither was I."
"Well good, then we can just agree to part ways and avoid any more...incidents." He said hopefully,
though as she crept around the table he realized it was futile. He thought feebly of running out
his own door and leaving her there.
"Why should we?" she asked honestly, "If it feels so great to kiss and..." her voice trailed off
and she blushed, "...other stuff, why shouldn't we?"
That blush had him remembering all the moments they had shared where her skin had been
flushed. It was insane. Ever since that first kiss he couldn't control his reaction. Seeing her
blush, or smile a certain way, or walk in her tiny skirts when she thought no one was watching,
it all made him lose his mind for her. And the coming together was absolutely fantastic--but the
aftermath was devastating. He couldn't handle it. It made him weak, needy. Fortunately
she didn't seem to remember--thank god. But he certainly wasn't going to get himself tangled up
again in anything that might remind her.
She had that feral look in her eyes though. How was he supposed to get rid of her? All he
could think of was employing what used to work before.
"Look, I don't want to be with you Serena. You're not my type at all! You're way too
young and immature! I barely even like you."
He met her eyes as he finished and his voice betrayed him.
Her eyes widened, "You don't mean that," she breathed and then paled, "You never
meant any of it did you? All the mean things you said? You just said them to keep
me away!"
Darien winced. Well, that backfired in the worst possible way.
"I don't believe it!" she said, walking towards him as he backed away, feeling along the wall for a door,
"Allllll this time you've had a thing for me? All this time you've been afraid?"
"Th-that's not true!" he said valiantly, "I just thought you looked cute when you were mad!"
He froze after saying that and wished instead to find a window. This was all Andrew's fault, he
concluded. His life was officially over. Could this get any worse?
Serena's face lit up like a star with sudden happiness, "You thought I was cute?"
She remembered how he had told her she was pretty that first night and her heart began
to beat wildly in her chest. This was the real thing!
"Oh Darien...why didn't you just tell me you liked me in the first place?"
He was still backing up and visibly sweating now, "No, you've got it all wrong!"
But she was on to him now, "Oh no I don't! You like me! Why are you so freaked out?"
"Me?" he squeaked in a voice she had never heard before, "What about you? You aren't freaking
out enough!"
She was taking longer strides towards him now, "Darien, seriously, c'mere..."
"N-no..." his breath was coming in gasps now. The universe had definitely gone mad. Here he was,
backing away from her in terror. And all the while he couldn't deny the feelings she was talking about.
She had just been looking better and better this past week as realization washed over him. All the things
he used to pretend annoyed him about her were actually endearing...it was awful! And the closer she
got, the more chance there was that she would remember what really happened at the end of that first
night. He couldn't bear the shame of that. Couldn't bear to feel that way again.
But she kept on, walking towards him, "Are you really afraid of your own happiness?" she asked softly,
"I just can't believe that..."
He knocked over a small table as he backed up and a lamp landed on the floor with a thud.
"Darien!" she said, half-laughing, half-wondering, "Seriously, stop! Wait!"
But he was still backing up and when she finally sped up he actually turned tail and ran for his bedroom.
"Darien!" she cried out in surprise and scolding, "Good grief!"
She ran after him and had him in two quick strides, jumping on his back and offbalancing him so that
he toppled over, landing on his bedroom floor. He tried to turn over but Serena kept him pinned so that
she was straddling him when he succeeded, his hands on her hips and her eyes wide as they met his.
The baseball cap had flown off in the struggle and now Serena's hair tumbled around her shoulders and
face in a halo of blonde.
Why do you hate me? Darien questioned the almighty with an abundance of sincerity.
The moment stood frozen until Darien slowly righted them, sitting up so that Serena ended up in his lap
and finding himself unable to push her away completely. He looked into her eyes, beseeching, "I can't do
this with you Serena. There are somethings more important than feeling good."
"Like what?" she asked, searching her brain for some greater good that was suffering by their get-together.
"Like dignity. Like keeping my self respect."
His face was pinched with emotion and she felt it again, that sense of missing something. She just couldn't understand
it. There was something very real pushing him away and making him afraid. What was it?
She watched him and waited but he didn't make a move either way. And she finally realized that the decision rested
more on her. That the power had somehow shifted between them and she was at the helm. It was a strange and
frightening power.
She reached a shaky hand to touch his face.
"Please don't..." he said quietly.
But he did not stop her. She quaked a little inside as her mind stumbled over the words, he can't resist me.
He could not resist her touch. She stroked his face and ran her fingers into his dark hair and a strange sadness
came into his face. She leaned up and kissed him gently, fighting down the overwhelming wave of feelings and
focusing instead on him. His eyes were closed and his mouth clung to hers, his hands and arms stiff where they
crushed the sides of her shirt as they held. He was not giving in, but he was not pulling away either. There was
a tension in his bearing that had her remembering their first night together. An overwhelming sense of deja-vu
over came her and at last she began to remember.
Because it was a feeling they had shared, with their strange connection. Even tense, and confused, the feeling
surfaced again. That feeling of 'at last...at last...'. That feeling of coming home. And she realized he had never
known a home. Realized the feeling was new and confusing for him when it had struck first. That it had quailed
him and filled him and broken him even as it repaired. Even now it was release and destruction together.
And in her mind she could hear his voice again, begging her not to go. It was not the voice of any of the Darien's
she had seen this past week. It was not the boy at the arcade, nor the lover she had unexpectedly found in the
night after a few drinks had let them feel instead of see...this was the voice of a child. This was the last part of
him, the most lonely, the most vulnerable. And she suddenly realized how ashamed he was of needing anything.
Of wanting that loneliness to end.
She pulled back and his face was drawn and pale. Her eyes were pools of sympathy and he looked defeated
and resentful all at once.
"You remember..." he said dully.
She nodded and waited for him to speak. Her hands gripped his shoulders, her body still curved around his
on the bedroom floor. He seemed to have physically relaxed...resigned to the inevitable.
"No one's seen me like that since I was six years old," he admitted, then his eyes met hers, "And I never want
to feel that way again. I can't...I can't go back to that place. It's too hard. So no matter how good this feels,
I can't go through with it. I need to leave that place behind."
"But you're not happy." she said sadly.
He smiled at her, "You don't understand Serena. You've never been unhappy. You're as used to being
surrounded by people as I am of being on my own. You get used to it."
She shook her head fiercely, "No one should get used to being unhappy!"
When he shook his head she took it between her hands, "Don't you see? You don't have to be
unhappy anymore!"
He paled then, real fear showing across his face and she felt an overwhelming burst of
feeling rush over her. He was hers, she could feel it to her bones, hers to collect and
take care of and protect in a way only she could.
She leaned close to his mouth, her eyes locked onto his and said gently, "You won't ever
be alone again. I'll be with you, and I'll never leave."
He stared at her for a long moment, an unreadable expression on his face. She held his eyes
until he finally breathed, "I'm not sure how to take that..."
She smiled, "You already have...taken it, I mean."
His hands were shaky as they caught hers, then slid to her face. She watched the shift of
emotions on his face.
"Say it again." he said in a low voice.
She leaned in and he shut his eyes as her voice rolled over him, "I'll be with you, and I'll
never leave. You won't ever be alone again."
"Promise?" his voice asked quietly.
He felt her smile against his mouth, "Promise."
Then she kissed him and they tangled up together in a very nice moment. This time was
different. This time they knew exactly what they were doing and everything had been said.
This time Serena memorized every detail as Darien's mouth gently explored hers with a
tender appreciation that made her ache, even as her nerves sang with pleasure.
His hands wandered into her hair, framing her face and then sliding down her shoulders
to wrap around her and pull her in tight as the kiss turned over. She could feel that
incredible awareness taking over and instinctively moved closer, her hands finding their
way under his shirt and pulling.
"We should take it slow..." his voice murmured reluctantly, "Serena, we should stop..."
But Serena was hearing none of that. She pressed her hips into his very effectively and
pulled his shirt off to kiss his throat and the hollow behind his ear as her hands slid up
the hot skin of his back. He groaned in defeat and buried his face in her shoulder.
He pulled back one last time though, catching her hands and asking carefully, "Are you
sure? Cause we're right beside my bed." he laughed as he said it, but she knew he
was serious too, "And I don't know if I can hold back once we get going..."
But she met his eyes with confidence and surprised the hell out of him by saying,
"I don't want you to hold back."
She smiled brightly and he knew, deep down, he'd had it at that moment. He really
was hers forever. There could be no going back. He stopped ignoring his body
and didn't ask any other clearly voiceable questions after that.
Instead his hands wandered and unbuttoned and quickly helped her out of her
shirt and bra so they could properly tangle up sitting on the floor. It was heady to press
together at the hips, legs wrapped around each other. Serena's fingers dug into
his shoulders with urgency. She was sure she knew how it would feel and sure
it was what she wanted.
That familiar taste of him, the musky scent of his skin, the warm feel of him that told her
he was hers, her equal and match, her lover and mate. She savoured them this time
and she could tell he was doing the same. It sent thrills through her feeling him pause
at certain places, soaking in the feeling and memorizing her details.
There was that sensation again, feeling what he felt. She wondered if he felt it too and
suddenly heard his voice in her ear, "Serena, I'd swear I could..."
"I know." She cut him off in a breathy voice.
He lifted her up then, and carried her to the bed. She slid down to stand and the heat
became almost unbearable. She lost control of her hands and found herself
reacting, reaching, touching as though her body were not her own. And Darien realized
the girl in his arms was another version, another boundary shed. Not the Serena from the
arcade, or even the heady lover from the drunken party. This Serena was awake, aware
and alive to the sensations between them, and her savouring made her infinitely precious.
He knew he could never really know.
The rest of their clothes came off in a heated torrent and Serena pulled him down over her
for a long kiss, bodies pressed uncomfortably but with excitement and desire making it
ecstasy.
Then he took her by the sides with strong hands and pulled her up all the way, laying her
back and settling in beside her with wandering, eager hands. This time, the strange,
half-familiar knowledge of what pleased the other was a slow, vivid rush that heated
the blood and stole their breaths as they became fevered in their ministrations.
Serena's leg curved over his hip to press against him as he buried his face in her throat
and then her breasts and he felt a part of himself flare to life that he had not known existed
until that moment. And best of all he could feel it in her too. They were matched equally.
Their hands wandered down and stroked, pleasuring and drawing the other closer to
the edge. Serena's hand wrapped around him, stroking and pressing and he felt his
control slipping away. He rolled her over and she wrapped her legs about his hips so
quickly that he was pressed against the sweet, wet brink of her before he could catch
himself. His vision began to swim dangerously. He untangled himself and kissed his
way down over her breasts, over her stomach as she arched up against him and between
her legs until she was gasping and distracted. He kept on, feeling the tension in her
body pull tighter and tighter but she pushed him away, climbing onto her knees and
kissing him with sudden fierceness before running hands and lips down to take him in
her mouth so that he groaned and felt that hot swimming in his blood and his vision
take over again.
She wanted more. So did he. She pulled away, her eyes meeting his with obvious
intent. Her hands framed his face, disappeared into his hair and pulled him down
over her. He followed, their eyes locked, and he knew the decision was made. He fumbled
in his bedside drawer for his protection, hurrying it out and on before leaning over and
losing himself in the kissing and the tangling of arms and legs. He could hear her moaning
softly, feel her rising excitement with his own. And then the moment came again. He settled
between her legs and she wrapped herself around him and he felt himself easing in. And
oh God she was tight and warm and ecstasy. He had to force his eyes open against the
exquisite agony of it, to watch her face and make sure she wasn't in pain.
But with a few quick strokes he felt her open like a flower and he slid all the way in, hearing
his voice moan as he buried it in her shoulder to absorb the shock of sensation. She
wrapped arms and legs tightly around him, her mouth working at his throat and earlobe
as she gently pressed against him, urging him on.
He had lost it and only slowly pulled himself together, straightened above her and started
with long, slow strokes, feeling the sharp pleasure pass between them. Watched her face
pinch with that pleasure making him gain confidence and gradually picked up speed so
that she grabbed onto his hips and hurried him on and he thought he would die. She was
everything. Nothing could ever feel more than this. She was moaning and breathing beneath
him, her heart racing with his and the tension building to fever pitch. He pulled her up to a sit
with him and they readjusted, both clinging to the other in such a way that they could stroke
together. Darien heard his name stumble out near his ear as her fingers dug into his lower back.
It was the most incredible pleasure he had ever felt. Serena was more than just a great kisser,
a great lover, a great sparring partner. More than even a woman with whom he felt he came
home. She was the one. He could feel it in his bones at that moment and clung to her, wanting
to tell her but finding he had no voice. Instead he fell over the edge and surrendered. And he
knew she knew. She caught him even as she lost herself too. They hung on to each other until
their breathing slowed, gasping and catching up with their bodies.
Then their eyes met and they broke into giddy smiles, their hands tender as they kissed
and shyly touched and then tumbled back into the bed to clean up and cuddle. And as the
aftershocks faded and the aftermath turned over into a comfortable silence, Serena turned
back into his favorite girl from the arcade and looked around with twinkling eyes to observe,
"Could your apartment BE more gray?"
He mocked offense and said, "My sheets are really more silver than gray."
She laughed and he smiled indulgently, drawing her in for a long, sweet kiss. She
leaned back against him after, head under his chin with that feeling of belonging.
He could see her eyes traveling around after that, re-arranging and redecorating.
'Let her' he thought lazily. Let her change everything. Let her take-over. He welcomed
it now.
Then she turned in his arms, hands gently searching and clinging. Their was a gentle,
possessive rapture in her face that he tucked away to remember later. It was merely
the edge of the devotion Serena would come to be capable of, he would realize
later. But for now, it was something sweet, that stood alone from the future.
"It was different this time." she observed quietly.
He nodded and sighed, "It's different every time."
But he knew what she meant. And she knew he knew.
His long arms folded around her then, and he laid a vulnerable head in her
shoulder. Letting that feeling wash over him again. But for the first time
it turned over, and changed, and opened up into happiness. Here was home,
a new point of contact, a new destination for that searching to land upon.
And that was it, the purpose of everything, of all the searching and waiting
and wishing in life. Great deeds could be only photographs to this kind
of discovering.
Serena felt him settle in and took hold, eager to let him be hers. This
shared feeling made him uniquely hers. And it can be said that this
feeling was what she cherished the most. That he was hers, in some
indelible, ineffable way. That feeling would carry her through whatever
they faced together. She knew then, without needing maturity or
experience to recognize it, that their separation was impossible. What
was there had always been there, waiting to be found. And it could
never be thrown asunder.
His hand was slowly tracing patterns across her back, his breathing
slow and relaxed as she came back to herself. She settled in
tighter with a contented sound and heard his stomach give an
impressive growl. She giggled as he gave an embarrassed huff.
"I'm starved!"
Then she jumped up delightedly, "I brought pizza!"
She streaked around the room, still starkers and giddily picking
up their clothes so they could go eat. His eyes followed her
indulgently. There was something akin to a pixie-ness about
Serena. She could flutter between innocence and understanding
with startling ease. Had he known it in his gut all along? Had he
teased her with a mixture of desire and fear to know the rest?
She pulled his shirt over his head, tossed him the rest and left
the room in break-neck speed for the pizza. He dressed lazily
and followed, getting some drinks out of the fridge and joining
her.
It wasn't until after they'd cleaned off the pizza and settled back
into the couch that the looming "what next?" question crowded in.
"They're all waiting at the arcade!" Serena moaned.
Darien thought of Andrew's self-satisfied face and shut his
eyes for a moment.
"Best to ease them into it I think," he observed, his arm around
her already feeling so natural it frightened him.
"Yeah..." she agreed, "We can keep up the fights for fun and then
slowly agree more."
Darien smiled, "I like our fights."
"We won't ever give them up completely."
"I hope not."
There were much larger things to be said. They both knew it.
But happily, they realized the time for them would come later.
It would arrive naturally.
Meanwhile, the wholly unnatural task of facing their horrendously
nosy friends waited to be tackled.
"Let's go separately," Serena suggested, "I'll go first, then you."
This seemed like a great idea at the time.
But when Serena came through the arcade doors the girls honed
in immediately.
"Sooooooo! What happened?"
Serena smiled carefully, "We talked things out and I think it's ok
now."
Mina was watching her face intently and her eyes suddenly
widened in shock, "You DID IT!"
Serena blanched, "I did not! What do you think I am? Some
kind of hentai?"
But Mina was already waving her arms in delight, "You're
a HUGE hentai who's going to tell us EVERYTHING!"
Rei and Lita were nodding emphatically and grabbed a
now purple Ami to drag her over to a booth with them.
"I can't BELIEVE you did it before ME!" Mina exclaimed as
Andrew came over with their shakes. He nearly dropped them
all on the floor and Serena hung her head in defeat.
Darien walked in at this inopportune moment and Andrew's
eyes met his with a look of fury that made him hesitate at the
threshold.
But then Mina had Andrew by the apron strings, shaking
him and saying, "Andrew, are you busy tonight?"
There was blatant determination on her face and as his
eyes dawned with understanding a broad grin spread
across his handsome face.
"Whatever I was doing, I'll cancel it." he said and she smiled
that same smile back at him.
Rei and Lita rolled their eyes.
And when Andrew turned back to Darien his face was
entirely different, an almost grateful gleam in his eyes.
He walked over, poured Darien a fresh, hot coffee and
smiled knowingly.
"Hey there Dare old buddy, how's it going?"
Darien looked between the chattering girls, a despairing
Serena and smug Andrew and sighed heavily.
"Don't smile at me like that!" he accused, "This is all YOUR fault!"
Andrew chuckled good-naturedly, "You, are welcome."
Darien's eyes narrowed, "Welcome for what? Do you realize
what you've done? Do you realize what I'm going to go through
now? All the things that used to annoy me about her? Now I find
them adorable! What does that even MEAN! "
Andrew looked a little disconcerted as Darien grew red in the face
and waved his arms about, "Uhhh, I think it means you liked her all
along dude." he replied.
"Are you insane? That can't be right! And I don't WANT to find her
adorable!"
A glance over showed Serena relaxed and finally chatting avidly
with her friends as they all leaned in for details. Her eyes met
Darien's and she smiled. Andrew had never seen that particular
smile and watched with real amusement as Darien's expression
melted into a glazed smile in return. Then he turned back to
Andrew and the smile vanished instantly, replaced by a glare.
But Andrew, who had barely been fooled to begin with, was
definitely not fooled anymore.
He waited until Darien took a good, deep mouthful of coffee
and said dryly, "Went all the way didn't you?"
He was rewarded with Darien's immediate choking fit and
laughed before searching out Mina's eyes and winking at her.
Today, was a very good day.
I'm cutting if off here since I've been staring at this same line
for weeks. I have some ideas for the next bit, but feedback is most
welcome as I need more conflict schemes otherwise this is just
going to get an epilogue ;)
toodles!