Kate Sanders took a pot of black face makeup from her cheerleading bag and carefully smeared two thick black lines underneath Lizzie McGuire's eyes. "Perfect!" she exclaimed. Lizzie and Kate admired their reflections in the full length mirror of the girls bathroom. Both girls had on their black pleated Hillridge cheerleading skirts, camouflage wife-beaters with black sports bras, black streaks under their eyes, and camo headbands. Each girl's long blonde hair was piled into two messy buns on either side of her head.

"We look like such badasses," Kate said as she winked at herself in the mirror. Lizzie giggled. "Well, we can't help it if we're beautiful," she exclaimed. She blew her reflection a kiss and turned to Kate. They put their hands together and started the chant that they had picked up from their favorite movie, Sugar and Spice. "Cheerleaders kick!" they shouted, smacking their asses.

Miranda Sanchez sat in her eighth period class staring at the clock. "Only three minutes," she scrawled on her notebook, shoving it over to David Gordon.

"Miranda, David," Mr. Hansen said sternly. "Watch the video." Miranda scowled and looked at the tv at the front of the room. A woman was screaming in agony as she gave birth while the camera got a very graphic view. She glanced over at Gordo, who looked like he might vomit. "Ahh, the miracle of life," Mr. Hansen was saying. Suddenly, the bell rang and everyone jumped up from their seats. Miranda and Gordo packed up their books excitedly.

"Are you ready to go watch Lizzie cheer at her very first pep rally?" Miranda asked sarcastically. "I still can't believe Lizzie's a cheerleader," Gordo replied. Miranda and Gordo had both been surprised when Lizzie had told them that she was going to try out. She'd wanted to be a cheerleader since middle school. Hillridge only allowed seniors to be on the squad, so for six years Lizzie had been taking gymnastics and preparing. But they didn't think she'd actually have the confidence to try out. They were even more surprised when Lizzie came back from cheerleading camp with a new best friend – Kate Sanders. Miranda had to admit, she was jealous. "I don't know why Lizzie is so obsessed with Kate," Miranda said as they walked towards the gym. "I mean, sure Kate's popular and everything, but she treated Lizzie like shit, and now all of a sudden they act like they never hated each other." Gordo shrugged his shoulders.

"Who knows? Maybe Kate's changed," he suggested. They walked into the gym and took their seats. The band was playing the school theme song, Anchors Away, as the cheerleaders clapped their hands enthusiastically. Suddenly the lights went out and a spotlight danced around the room as "Everybody Dance Now," boomed out of the speakers. The cheerleaders started doing sharp, robot-style moves. Miranda snickered. "This is so fucking cheesy," she said to Gordo. Gordo ignored her. He was sick of Miranda's negative comments about Lizzie all the time.As the beat got more lively, the dance became more complicated, and eventually the entire student body was cheering them on. Gordo watched Lizzie as she slapped her thighs and dipped her bottom to the ground, swaying her hips in beat to the music. "Wow," he found himself saying aloud. Lizzie saw him watching her and winked. Gordo's eyes widened. Suddenly, Miranda slapped him hard on the arm. "Stop having cheer sex with her," she hissed. "God, Lizzie has become such a slut." Gordo turned around, annoyed and angry.

"Miranda, just stop with the comments," he demanded. The music ended and Kate walked up to the microphone at the front of the gym.

"Hey Patriots!" she exclaimed. "We have got a great pep rally for you today! We're going to start off with a little game! We'll pick one student from every grade level to compete. You'll run from one end of the gym to the other, but make sure you dodge the grenades!" Three of the cheerleaders stood along the back wall of the gym holding camo water balloons. Lizzie stepped up to the microphone.

"Okay! For the freshmen, we have Christine Wallace! For the sophomores, Matt McGuire! Juniors, Ben Craft! And Seniors, Miranda Sanchez!" Miranda froze, furious at Lizzie for calling her name. She tried to hide behind Gordo. All three of the other contestants were eagerly making their way to the gym floor. "Miranda? Where are you Miranda Sanchez!" Lizzie shouted. "There she is!" she pointed at Miranda, who reluctantly stood up. "Come on down!" Lizzie encouraged her. The contestants lined up and Kate prepared her stopwatch.

"Ready, set, go!" she screamed. The contestants took off. Claire Miller and two other cheerleaders were throwing water balloons. Suddenly Miranda felt herself being pummeled by balloons. She was drenched. The floor was slick. Miranda tried to stop herself, but it was too late. She slipped on the floor and skidded across the polished wood on her ass. The entire student body laughed hysterically. Miranda looked around and realized that Matt, Ben, and Christine had finished the race and were all dry. She was the only one who had been targeted with the grenades. "Alright! Go, Ben! My man!" Miranda looked into the stands to see Ethan Craft pumping his fists in the air and cheering for his little brother, who had apparently won. Ethan was laughing. Mortified and infuriated, Miranda leapt to her feet and ran out of the gym.

After the pep rally, Lizzie went outside to find Miranda. "Miranda?" she called. She wandered over to the cheerleader practice field where she saw Gordo and Miranda. "Miranda!" Gordo grabbed her arm gently.

"I wouldn't—" he tried to warn her. But Miranda hurtled towards Lizzie angrily.

"How could you humiliate me like that?" Miranda screamed. Lizzie narrowed her green eyes. "Excuse me? I had nothing to do with it!" Lizzie argued. Miranda's nostrils were flaring like they always did when she became enraged.

"Right, nothing to do with it. You're only the one who made me participate in the first place! Cut the crap, Lizzie. You wanted this to happen!" She shrieked. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"Miranda, I was only trying to include you. It's not my fault that you suck at dodgeball," she shot back.

"Fuck you, Lizzie!" Miranda yelled as she raised her hand to slap Lizzie.

"Woah!" Gordo exclaimed, grabbing Miranda and pulling her away from Lizzie. "Miranda, just go home and get cleaned up. I'm sure you'll laugh about this by tomorrow," he told her. Miranda was fuming. She broke free from him and whipped her head around towards Lizzie.

"God, Lizzie! You've changed so much! I don't know why I was ever friends with you!" She shouted, tearing off the friendship bracelet that she'd been wearing since 6th grade. "You think you're so cool now that you're a cheerleader. Cheerleaders suck!" Kate, who had been watching with interest, suddenly shot forwards.

"What did you say?" Kate demanded. Miranda smirked.

"You heard me, sweater monkey. Cheerleaders SUCK." Kate's eyes widened as she threw down her pom poms.

"You better back the fuck off," Kate warned her. "Because this practice field is cheerleader-only territory from 3-5 pm." Miranda laughed at her as she sat her wide ass down on one of the bleachers.

"You can't make me leave," she sneered. Kate turned around.

"What was I thinking? Of course you won't leave. You wouldn't miss your chance to watch cheerleader practice." Kate packed up her poms. "Girls, practice is cancelled. We're not going to practice out here while this dyke watches us." Miranda couldn't believe the words that had just come out of Kate's mouth. She got up and walked over to her 1992 Astrovan. As she got in the car, Lizzie felt tears come to her eyes. She couldn't believe that she'd just had such a huge fight with her best friend.