Author's notes: This is not the end, people! An epilogue is in the works, from a completely unique point of view! I shall be thanking all reviewers in that chapter, but don't expect it that soon! Anyway, to all of you who were trying hard to guess who she chooses – you shall find out now! I tried not to make the end sappy, hopefully it's believable, if not, tell me and I shall change it.
Anyway, I'm going singing on Friday, to pick up a new song, don't know what it's going to be, but I'll probably be singing Adrianna from Dracula (a Czech version, so I doubt any of you know it, but that's the Countess, so I like the part very much, even though she dies at childbirth. If you want a synopsis of that version, just ask).
I'll risk a few responses:
Morleigh – it had to end there to be dramatic! Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you like this one!
Nota Lone – merci ;-D
EriksIngenue – good luck. Found any? I hope not – I tried to make this as evasive as possible when it came to that question. Heh, I'm not sorry you're nervous – it shows how much you like this. Here is the update
Mominator – yes, evil! I have to be! What did you expect, a happy ending with no demasking? (shakes head)
Lady Karol – thank you very much, I try to do my best with this story. Thanks, I've had luck
Tara – well, that was the original idea, but then I decided it would be cool to try to write Erik, and I got into his shoes so well I abandoned the first concept. I'm not sure if I'll be doing that, though. This phic was quite tough to write. If you want ECness from Christine´s POV, try my phic Meant to Be.
Enrinye - ;-)
Twinkle22 – thanks, here's more!
All That Remains – don't worry bout that.
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Chapter 16 - Embrace
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It was truly the point of no return. On her choice, a human life depended. And it would be best if she would decide quickly, for my patience was running thin. After all the expectations, hopes and disappointments, I grew tired of our petty games. All the things and events surrounding this choice vanished and it was exposed as what it truly was – a decision between me and him, one final, permanent choice.
Despite the rope in my hands, my eyes were fixed on Christine, because for the first time, I was quite certain that the Vicomte de Chagny was completely harmless. But Christine didn't seem frightened for her fiancé anymore. Rather… disappointed and… angry.
"The tears I might have shed for your dark fate… grow cold and turn to tears of hate!" she cried, her last word sharp, sharp enough to pierce my heart like a well-aimed arrow, though the archer was theoretically unarmed.
Lowering my gaze for a split second, I stormed towards her, seemingly, but what I sought was another rope, another lasso, this time to emphasize my point that I wasn't scared of killing the boy, should she hesitate for too long. Christine´s eyes followed me, her beautiful face still enraged.
"Too late for turning back, too late for prayers and useless pity!" I spat at her, without looking at her longer than a few seconds.
"Farewell, my fallen idol and false friend!" Christine cried, "We had such hopes but now those hopes are shattered… one by one my illusions vanished!"
"Past all hope of cries for help: no point in fighting! Either way you choose, you cannot win!" I spat, too busy fastening the lasso around the Vicomte´s throat.
"Either way you choose, he has to win!" the boy shouted a split second later, almost as if reading my mind. Yes, either way, Christine remained with me. If she would choose to stay, she would stay willingly. If she would refuse, the boy would die, and she would have nowhere else to go.
"So, do you end your days with me, or do you send him to his grave?" I asked, tightening the lasso as I spoke the last word, but it didn't stop the boy's ridiculous courage… or stupidity, whatever you choose to call it.
"Why make her lie to you to save me?" he hissed, his voice slightly hindered by the lasso. I didn't answer.
"Angel of Music…" Christine begged.
But I had no ears for her false pleas. "Past the point of no return!"
"For pity's sake, Christine, say no!" the Vicomte called desperately to her.
"... the final threshold…"
"…why this torment?"
"Don't throw your life away for my sake!"
"His life is now the prize which you must earn!"
"Why do you curse mercy…?"
"I fought so hard to free you ..." the Vicomte whispered, with his last strength, it seemed.
"You've passed the point of no return ..." I finished, uncompromising.
"Angel of Music…" Christine began again, but she wasn't pleading anymore. "You deceived me." She was saying it plainly, like a child that had discovered that she had been promised sweets and given something else. "I gave you my mind blindly…"
But I didn't have the patience for this… she had given her mind freely, and I was growing angrier at her indecisiveness. "You try my patience. Make your choice."
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"You try my patience. Make your choice."
He spoke in far harsher tones that before – he had never spoken to me like that. I knew then that I had crossed some invisible line, that I had to act now, before he would decide to kill Raoul anyway. Looking at my captive of a fiancé, I managed a sad slight smile and mouthed three words of farewell to him. He had to know that before I would do what I knew I must do.
Ignoring the fact that my dress would get slightly soaked, I walked straight into the icy waters of the underground lake. It was very cold, but nothing physical could stop me now. I have decided… decided…
"Pitiful creature of darkness…" I began softly, approaching with each syllable. "What kind of life have you known?" He relaxed his grip on the lasso a bit and his face seemed to soften slightly. "God give me courage to show you…" Within feet of him, I put the engagement ring I had been given back on my finger. "You are not alone!"
Somehow, I felt my lips form a genuine smile… somehow, at that moment, I realized just how beautiful he was.
Part of me expected the sensation already known to me – the soft tickling of gentle affection. Yet this was like a plunge into the deepest waters of the darkest ocean. I could swear my eyes stopped working for a moment, though I had them closed, and then, with a flash of light, I saw stars the moment he seemed to grow certain that it wasn't a dream, that I was indeed kissing him, and that I wasn't afraid anymore. The moment I felt a reaction to my own boldness.
For a moment, it was too much, and I had to pull back… yet I had to make things up to him for an entire lifetime, and I was up to the task. Without drawing a breath, I pressed my swollen lips once more to his, this time almost immediately feeling that while afraid of this new sensation, he wasn't pulling away from me.
As I released him after what seemed ages, I looked at him… only to see him crying. The show of affection was perhaps too much for him and he wasn't prepared for it… or… something deeper. And before I knew it, he looked away from me and walked away as well, his head lowered, like a man who had been defeated.
"Take her, forget me, forget all of this!"
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"Leave me alone - forget all you've seen ..." My voice, once strong, was now just a shadow of its former glory only mere minutes ago on the stage. I was letting her go… "Go now - don't let them find you!" She kissed me… the wonderful, beautiful, celestial angel lowered herself to kiss a demon… and then I realized that I simply couldn't myself to be as selfish as to condemn her to a life in darkness.
"Take the boat – swear to me never to tell the secret you know of the Angel in Hell!" I saw her untying her boy, but I knew I mustn't interrupt it. She was a creature of the day… whereas I belonged to the night.
"Go now - go now and leave me!" I bellowed at them, retreating to the room that was supposed to have been Christine´s.
There, on the table, stood a small music box with a figurine on it. A monkey in Persian robes… one of my early creations, but it was a wonderful memory. Yet the song it played was not at all unknown to me and even less desired to hear. Nevertheless, I sang along.
Masquerade
Paper faces on parade
Masquerade
Hide your face so the world will never find you...
While consumed by my little dreamworld, a world where the angry shouts of "Track down this murderer" "Revenge" and "monster" couldn't reach my ears, I remained aware of the surroundings enough to be able to tell that I was being watched. Looking up from the little music box, I saw an angel once more.
She was standing half in shadow, but I could see her large eyes full of pity and regret. I knew I must have looked very miserable, not to mention that my face was unmasked, easy for her to see… not that it could be easily overlooked.
Christine, the vision out of a dream, returned… to say goodbye? Could I give her up a second time? It was a risk she had chosen to take. She seemed to be at loss of words, but refused to leave until she would say what she wanted to say. I, however, knew what I could say. The only thing that I knew I could not tell her.
Not that it would be a lie, God forbid that! It was a greater truth than that that the sun rises each day. Yet now, after realizing what is best for her, I knew I must say it, lest I will regret it forever.
My voice wasn't shaking anymore, yet it was still less than strong, and I spoke the three words that had sounded over and over in my mind whenever I saw her, spoke to her, heard her sing, whenever I thought of her… and now, after years, the time to speak them had finally come on its own accord.
"Christine, I love you ..."
Her lips parted slightly, as if a gasp wanted to escape them, but none came, not even the slightest sigh. I suppose that deep down inside, she always knew that I loved her… perhaps she only didn't realize that love had many forms.
Angels didn't know love. But I am no angel.
From loving her voice, to loving her as a student, to loving her as a child I had taken under my protection, to, at last, loving her and her alone. Loving her as an angel sent from heaven, an angel sent to brighten the lives of mortals in the form of a child who matured into a beautiful young lady.
Christine was panting silently, but stopped as she slowly walked towards me, for the second time this evening. I myself was surprised. Perhaps I hoped that she would kiss me once more. She had kissed me! And she didn't die, she wasn't disgusted! She treated me like a living being, like a person, not like a monster.
She treated me like a man worthy of love.
The first touch of humanity I had ever received in my life, strong enough to show me that even I had some humanity left within me, however strongly my conscious self seemed to automatically deny it. It came as a natural reaction to the reactions of the world to me, I suppose. But now… now I felt defenseless.
Christine knelt in front of me, shoving her skirts out of the way and looked up at me, evidently almost as helpless as I was. After a brief moment, she drew a breath. "I know nothing of you except that… but I…" she blinked and closed her eyes for a moment. When she spoke again, she was looking at me once more. "I believe... know… that I don't want to forget."
"And what do you want, Christine?" I asked, in an almost childishly surprised, quiet voice.
She didn't smile, but there was sincerity in her eyes. "To show you that you are not alone. I… I want to stay." She said quietly, as if not believing her own boldness. Her eyes read those three words I had been gathering the courage to say for years, but also the surprise from the sudden realization and the fear of them.
In the distance, only a sad, quiet song interrupted the great silence between us.
Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime ...
say the word and I will follow you ...
Share each day with me ...
... each night ...
... each morning ...
Christine broke the silence. "Shall I repeat those words for you?" she whispered.
I didn't dare question her, I didn't dare think. I didn't dare do anything, lest it would break the wonderful dream that was becoming reality around me. I slowly took her by the hand and she rose slightly, still timid in her expression, but her eyes determined.
"Not those very words." I whispered to her, "I shall write songs for you… songs for us. You alone can make my song take flight…"
"Then I embrace the music of the night." Christine said and, for a moment, wrapped her arms around me.