A/N: First H/G fic. . Some Romance with angst for you.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, or anything you recognize from Harry Potter.
BANG!
"Ugh, that's the second time today." Ron said tiredly, leaning back on the couch with his arm around Hermione.
"What's he doing up there anyways?" Ginny asked, only having just come home from a friends house. Hermione gave a tired sigh, and snuggled closer to Ron, they had been a couple since the end of their 6th year. They were all currently at the Burrow, and Harry had locked himself in Percy's room (Mrs. Weasley had let him have a room to himself) and refused to come out.
"Having a tempter tantrum. He's getting angry at himself, so he resorted to throwing things around. I guess it's the only sensible way to him to let out his frustrastion and such." Ron gave a tired sigh. "I've had enough of it, really. He won't talk to me or Hermione when we try to get anything out of him. But once he did, and it wasn't really talking, just a bunch of yelling."
Now Hermione began to talk, tiredness etched on her face. "He kept shouting at us telling us that we never know how he feels, and how we have no idea what he's going through." She gave a small yawn. "It's worrying both of us sick, he has to come out sometime, he's only hurting himself." She stopped talking here and closed her eyes, Ron running his fingers through her hair. Ginny sat still on her seat across from them. She had had enough, she stood up.
"That's it, I'm going to get him to talk." She said determindly, she started upstairs and heard Ron yell "Good luck." After her. She reached the room where he was, and opened the door, not even bothering to knock. The room was a mess, there were papers strewn everywhere on the floor, his belongings damaged and destroyed. She looked down at her feet, there lay a picture of Ron and Hermione laughing, it had been cracked. Next, she looked up and finally saw Harry.
At first glance, Harry scared her. His hair was untidy as ever, his usually bright emeraled green eyes looked so cold and emotionless. His mouth was set in a thin line, he was looking at her. She couldn't read his expression, he was determined to not show her. He was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall, his knee's pulled up to his chest, his arms crossed laying on them.
"Harry-" She started, but he cut her off.
"Let me guess, Ron and Hermione sent you up here, didn't they?" He said dryly, he gave a cold laugh.
" No, that wasn't-" She was cut off again, she was starting to get angry.
"Oh, so you came up here on your own will? To try to talk to me, get me to stop throwing things around?" He was now talking fast, and deep. His voice sounded much unlike his own, very cold.
" Would you shut up and let me talk!" Ginny said loudly, taking a few steps towards him on the bed. She was getting very annoyed now, this was so unlike Harry. "I came up here on my own to tell you that Ron and Hermione are sitting downstairs worrying their arses off because of you. Because you won't talk to them and let them help you. That's why I came up here, you happy now! You have no idea how worried everyone is about you Harry. It'll be alright, really." She ended the last part in a whisper.
Harry's face had now changed, instead of the stony expression , it had contorted with anger. Ginny could tell he was about to snap, and he did.
"OH, SO YOU'RE TELLIN ME IT'LL BE ALRIGHT!" He gave an angry sigh, lowering his voice so it was now deadly calm, but Ginny could still hear the anger. "You don't know what it's like, do you? Having no parents and a deranged man out there who wants to kill me and everybody I've been accociated with! So you're telling me to be happy when everybody in the wizarding world expects me to go ahead and kill one of the most powerful wizrads alive!" He was now shouting. "HOW CAN I BE HAPPY WHEN I HAVE TO MURDER A MAN WHO KILLED MY PARENTS? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH, WHAT I HAVE TO DO. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE EVERYONE BLAME YOU FOR ANY DEATH BY HIM, BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BOY-WHO-LIVED. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE EVERYONE YOU LOVE BE PUT IN DANGER DO YOU? YOU'RE HERE, TELLING ME IT'LL BE ALRIGHT WHEN I KNOW I'M GOING TO DIE SOON, WHEN I KNOW EVERYONE I LOVE MIGHT DIE, BECAUSE OF ME." He rose his voice even more, the yelling hurting Ginny's ears, but that didn't stop her. She took a few more steps towards Harry, now inches away from him.
She started speaking quietly, her voice seething with anger. "You're saying I have no idea? That deranged man your talking about possessed me when I was 12, that deranged man has left memories and thoughts in my mind that you would never be able to imagine. Harry, you're the one who has no idea what it feels like to be me. Having my friends downstairs worried sick about you, having all of my family at risked to be killed EVERY SINGLE DAY." She had now began shouting. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS KNOWING THAT WHEN THAT DAY COMES WHEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM, I'LL BE AT HOME, DOING NOTHING. I'LL BE SITING HERE KNOWING THAT NOBODY WOULD LET ME FIGHT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME. HOW RON AND HERMIONE COULD DIE AT ANY SECOND. Knowing that the man I love has left me once again." She finished the lsat part in a whisper.
Harry was now lookin at Ginny with a new expression on his face…guilt. He felt guilty because of her anger, her worries…but the man she loved? It couldn't possibly be him, could it? "Ginny-" He started, to be cut off.
"Don't you Ginny me." Ginny said, now speaking in a deadly whisper. "You're probably feeling bad for little Ginny now, aren't you? Thinking that it's all your fault again that I'm hurting. But you still have no idea Harry. The man I love has been in danger his whole life, and barely even pays attention to me unless I'm in danger. The man I love has the whole wizarding world resting on his shoulders, how he has to kill Voldemort. The man I love only thinks of me as his best friends baby sister. You have no idea how it feels to be sitting at home alone, when the man you love can die at any second." A tear ran down her cheek, she hoped that Harry would get her point. "Don't you get it Harry? I love you, enough that it hurts." Harry was now looking at Ginny strangley, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "You don't realise Harry…that it's ok to cry.." She could tell that's what he needed to do the most. "Just forget about everything for a second, and let it all out, nobody's here to make fun of you, to tell you not to cry, it's ok to think that everything will be alright. But…it'll only be alright if you make it alright Harry. You have to make it that way, stop doubting yourself. " She said, now falling quiet, waiting for a reaction out of him.
Harry didn't know what to say for once, he was lost for words, but he could still speak to her through his actions. He grabbed her wrist that was hanging limply at her side, and pulled her closer, so that she was an inch away from his face.
Ginny gasped, what was he going to do? Was he going to hit her? Yell at her? She let out another small gasp when she saw a fresh tear roll down his cheek.
Harry now closed the gap and kissed Ginny. It took Ginny a second to realise what was going on, but she accepted the kiss nonetheless. She wrapped her arms around him, happy, tears running down her cheeks. The kiss that they shared was filled with love, and the desperation to be loved by the other. But Harry couldn't take it any more, he broke the kiss, and pulled Ginny on to the bed, and giving her a hug…he broke. He began to cry for the first time in months.
Ginny reacted soundly, pulling Harry close to her, resting one hand on the back of his head, the other around his middle. She rocked him back and forth, whispering "Remember, it'll be ok." She felt hot tears run down her face.
Harry couldn't remember the last time he cried properly, but he was doing enough now to make up for it. He could feel the hot tears running down his cheeks and onto Ginny's shirt, but he made no effort to stop them. He felt as if he could let all of his anger and worries where flying away now that Ginny was here. He loved her, and he couldn't help it. "I'm scared." He whispered into Ginny. He truly was, everything was depending on him now, to save everyone, to kill Voldemort. He wished it would all dissapear from his life.
Ginny pulled back from the hug and gave him a small lingering kiss. "I'm scared too, Harry." She really was, she didn't want him to leave. "But you just have to open up like this to Ron and Hermione, they'd like it Harry, really, they would. I hope you know that everyone loves you Harry, they do, I'm serious. You have me, Ron, Hermione, and my whole family to watch your back."
Harry believed Ginny now. "I'm sorry.." He whispered. "I'll change." He didn't want to say anymore, but he couldn't help the next thing that came out of his mouth. "I miss them Gin." He said, referring to his parents. Just the thought of them at a time like this, made his cry a little more.
"I'm sure you do." Ginny said, she didn't know how it really would feel to not have parents at a time like this. "But you have my family Harry, my mother is like a second mother to you, you know that. Don't forget that I'm here too Harry. I love you." She said again, truly meaning it.
"I love you Gin." Harry said, giving her another kiss. He wanted to lay down now, so he did, resting his head in Ginny's lap. He wiped the rest of his tears away and closed his eyes.
"Go ahead and sleep, I won't leave." Ginny said quietly, leaning against the wall carefully, as to not move Harry's head much. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, watching him sleep. She got a little tired herself, and started to fall asleep.
Two hours later Ron and Hermione where getting a little suspicious. The yelling from upstairs had stopped, and it was oddly quiet. They walked together up the stairs, and carefully opened the door to a heart warming site. Ginny was holding Harry and they were both sleeping peacfully. Hermione and Ron stood in the door, Ron's arm around Hermione's waist, thinking for just that moment, that everything was finally ok.