Master Thief Yami Yuugi
Chapter 7: Princess Yami Yuugi
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh
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We find our favorite thief on the job today;
"Sucky sucky 10 dollars." Yami Yuugi replied to a man standing next to him as he was dressed in a very revealing outfit.
Seto walked over and smacked Yami Yuugi in the back of his head. "Okay ass, this isn't your job. You're just making it look like it is your job to be funny so you can make people laugh, or be disgusted."
"Alright fine." Yami Yuugi ripped off his prostitute clothes to reveal...His regular clothes! Gasp! What a twist!
"My tummy hurts." Anzu randomly said.
"That's what you get for eating a banana muffin with cran-apple juice at 3:00 in the morning." Yami Yuugi waged his finger. Which might I add wasn't really me, ahem (avoiding eye contact).
"Wait a second, weren't you still in your puzzle?" Seto asked with suspicion. And he outta be! 'Cause in the last chapter they were walking off with regular Yuugi, not retarded Yuugi.
"Hey!" Yami Yuugi yelled at the last comment above.
"Yeah, weren't you regular Yuugi?" Anzu asked as well.
"Uh...I certainly do have...An answer to that..." Yami Yuugi then ran away.
"He's getting away!" Anzu shrieked.
"Don't worry, I know where he is going." Seto proceeded to walk over to a group of bushes. He then pushed them aside, and what do you know, Yami Yuugi was on his laptop chatting his life away. Anzu and Seto decided to quietly watch to see what would happen.
The one thing the two didn't know was that Yami Yuugi spoke aloud what he typed.
"ASL?" Yami Yuugi asked some random person he was talking to. There were like five Instant Message boxes open on his screen. Talk about Mr. Popularity...
"OMFG!1111!" He said and typed the exact letters and numbers. "LOL!1111!11!" He continued.
"Oh my God..." Seto said as he and Anzu looked at each other in horror of what they witnessed.
"What the hell are you doing Yami Yuugi!" Anzu shouted from behind.
"Chatting, duh." He continued to chat, ignoring his friends.
"Who's 'HotnSpicyBiatch'?" Seto blinked in confusion. He wasn't sure whether he should have asked that question or not. As soon as he would get his answer, trust me, he'll regret it.
"That's me." Yami Yuugi replied casually.
"I'm sorry I asked." Seto responded with a weird look on his face. You could tell he was weirded out. Weirded? Weirded! Is that even a word? Oh well.
"Shouldn't we get to the next town?" Anzu asked.
"Yeah, fine." Yami Yuugi sighed as he stood up. There was a piece of food lying where his butt was sitting. He stared at it for a short moment, then picked it up.
"You're not gonna eat that, are you?" The prince of the land of Kaiba asked. He then watched Yami Yuugi eat it. "You did, that's just gross."
"To the next town!" Yami Yuugi announced with passion in his voice. He then ran down the trail with a bunch of frickin' flowers. Joy.
So they skipped like a bunch of idiots down the trail to the next town so they could do something interesting in this story before everyone got bored.
Soon enough they were within eye site of the next town. But right now they are about to get into a conversation so they won't get to the town just yet!
"I really like how the author advertised the last chapter of Distant Brothers with that whole 'WILL SETO AND MOKUBA HATE EACHOTHER FOREVER!'" Yami Yuugi said with sarcasm. "You could clearly tell the author wasn't trying to get reader's attention to read her story." He continued to act like a jackass.
"No shit." Seto rolled his eyes.
Then at that moment, they arrived at the front gate! But someone with brown hair was standing there with nice looking clothes on. If you guessed it was Tom Cruise...You were wrong. It was just someone who looked like Tom Cruise. Oh and there was another person standing there too. It was a kid with black hair.
"Hey look everyone! It's a girl!" The stupid thief pointed to the kid with black hair.
"I'm a guy you jackass!" The kid yelled back in frustration of Yami Yuugi's dumbass-ness.
"Oh! It's Mokuba!" Seto ran up to Mokuba.
"Oh! It's my older-but-still sexually-appealing brother, Seto!" Mokuba said to the screen to all the females reading/watching, and then ran up to his brother.
"You could totally tell that was rehearsed." Anzu whispered to Yami Yuugi.
"But you gotta admit, it was beautifully choreographed." Yami Yuugi pointed out. And a good pointer outer he was when it came to useless stuff.
"So why are you here big brother?" Mokuba asked Seto.
"Jeez Mokuba, we've been over this a thousand times, I'm not big, I'm actually quite thin." The older Kaiba Seto remarked.
"I burned down his castle, that's why he's here." Yami Yuugi proudly answered Mokuba's question. He would have answered his question much faster, but there was food stuck between his teeth that he had been trying to get out for awhile now. And he still was trying to get it out.
"You did what to my home!" Mokuba's voice arose with anger.
"I burned it down. But it is okay. Seto is gonna follow me around till I pay him back like what Misty did with Ash in Pokemon. But the difference is we all know I'm never gonna pay him back. That would be a stupid idea." The thief finished.
"It is NOT like Pokemon!" Seto's veins began to show on his head. I think everyone should hide under the table because his head might explode at any moment.
"But doesn't Ash never pay back Misty?" Anzu asked but her voice was drowned out from the fight between Seto and Yami Yuugi.
"You're just saying that because you don't want to be compared to that series." He sighed.
"So?" Seto crossed his arms.
"Okay, screw this argument. It is getting boring." Anzu said as she walked in the entrance of the town. Everybody shrugged then followed their female friend as if the argument never occured.
"Hey, I think I've been here before." Yami Yuugi pondered aloud as he walked side by side with his friends.
"Okay, you're a thief, where haven't you been?" Mokuba asked rudly.
"Mokuba! You know better than to act like that to him." Seto gave him a scornful look. "You must act ruder."
"Hey!"
"Shut up thief, I still hate you." Seto spat.
"Yeah well mleh!" Yami Yuugi stuck out his tongue.
Before Seto could get his hands around Yami Yuugi's neck to kill him...He was interrupted! By a alien with X-ray vision. He was wearing a hat with cheetah skin pattern with a white lab coat on. He also had a gun in his hand that was filled with...Candy!
Okay so I lied, it was just some guy.
"Jounouchi!" Yami Yuugi bolted to his friend. Not only to see him, but to get as far away as he could from Seto.
"Yuugi!" Jounouchi greeted his friend.
"It's been awhile, hasn't it? When's the last time we saw each other? Two, no, three years?" He chuckled then patted Jounouchi on the back playfully.
"Uh Yuugi, it's only been three days." He replied with confusion.
"Oh." Yami Yuugi blinked. "Anyway, this is my friend, Anzu." He pointed to Anzu.
"Hi!" She waved.
"...And these two are the retarded Kaiba brothers." He pointed with little care at the Kaiba brothers.
"Hey!" Kaiba shouted.
"Ya know, if your little brother Mokuba is around, it would kinda confuse everyone if everyone called you Kaiba, 'cause you know, Mokuba has the same last name as you." Yami Yuugi said. He never has anything useful to say, does he?
"It would be nice if you just shut up for once." Seto glared at him.
-
Meanwhile at the nice looking castle at the top of the largest hill in the town was where our heroes were obviously going to go for a mission. I mean, come on, why would I be even be paying attention to the castle and the people in it if the crew was not going to come there?
"Are the wedding preparations almost complete?" A young man asked his advisor in an empty room with just the two of them inside.
"Yes my master. But it still puzzles me as to why you would order Fruit punch and cheese with crackers for food instead of a real meal." His advisor looked bamboozled. Hah! Bamboozled! In case you guys don't know what that means, it is just another way to say confused. Oh I am so good using the synonyms option!
"Silence! I will have what I want!" The young man seemed angered. He was yelling, so ya know, I'm just taking an educated guess that he was angry. Something someone couldn't do if they weren't educated might I add.
"Plus it won't matter. I already told you; this wedding is a sham." He chuckled evilly. "I don't love or care about that princess, I just want the throne of this empire. Once I marry her, there will be an 'accident' that will take her life away, and I'll still be king." He smirked.
"But master Malik, are you sure this will work out?" The advisor looked unsure of his master's plan.
"Of course it will. After all, I planned this for many months, nothing can go wrong. All I have to do is continue to act like I am her lover until the time is right to kill her." He finished. "None of this is to be spoken of once we leave this room. All my other advisors know of this plan, so do not worry about discussing it with them. I wouldn't want someone to find out about this so keep quiet." With that said, Malik exited the room.
But he forgot one thing about keeping secrets! Don't talk about it TALK ABOUT IT! We all so knew the advisor is gonna go talk about this with the other advisors. I already knew that before I decided it would happen. It was destined. So Malik walked to his soon-to-be wife to give her more lies so he could make himself look good.
And we all know what happened next. Malik's advisor talked about the plan to Malik's other advisors, and one of the princess' advisors overheard it and bam! Someone knew about the evil plan. And that's how everything began.
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"I want you guys to meet this advisor of the princess'. She is really hot and we became friends recently. I'm trying to get out of the friend zone but you all know that takes--" Jounouchi stopped once he saw his friend walking up to him and decided to say something random as if they were talking about a completely different thing, "...And so I decided that I would buy a chicken instead of an egg."
"Hey Jounouchi, who's your friends?" The woman with blonde hair, who was Jounouchi's friend, in case you weren't paying attention, like me, asked.
"Oh, that's my friend Yuugi." He pointed to Yami Yuugi. "And I don't know who those other three are, I wasn't paying attention to them." Jounouchi bluntly said. What a bitch.
"Hot...So hot..." Yami Yuugi and Seto said at the same time regarding about Jounouchi's friend. They were also drooling too. They got it all over the ground, how rude! Now the ground feels filthy so it has to take a bath but it can't because it has to wait for the rain. It wasn't my fault floor, just thank Seto and Yami Yuugi for drooling on you.
"My name is Kujaku Mai." Jounouchi's friend introduced herself.
"I'm Anzu." Anzu smiled. She did not want to say her last name so she wouldn't risk having her true identity revealed.
"I'm Kaiba Mokuba!" Mokuba waved frantically. It seems he was attracted to Mai as well.
"I am Kaiba Seto, prince of Kaiba land." He greeted her formally, making sure to let Yami Yuugi know he stood no chance with her since he wasn't a royal. But then again, being the master world-known thief does make Yami Yuugi some form of royalty...Maybe.
"Jeez do those last two words he said sound very familiar..." Yami Yuugi whispered to himself. He was trying to hint on something to the readers. Hint hint Kaiba Land cough cough.
"I'm Yami Yuugi! I'm Yami Yuugi!" Yami Yuugi yelled out as he ran up to Mai and held her arm.
"Hey no fair!" Seto ran up to Mai's other arm and grabbed it. "I must say, you are looking very radiant." The prince said with grace.
"I'm a girl too ya know!" Anzu frowned at Yami Yuugi and Seto. "How come I didn't see this side of you two when it was just the three of us!" She asked.
"Uh, I'll try to put nicely and to the point." Seto replied. "Mai's hot, you're not."
"Yeah." Yami Yuugi agreed.
"Come over here and say that!" She gritted her teeth and almost pounced on Seto, but Mokuba and Jounouchi held her back.
"Okay you guys...Get away from Mai! I saw her first." Jounouchi yelled at Yami Yuugi and Seto.
"Alright fine...Jeez..." Seto walked away from Mai.
"All we were doing was being nice to her..." Yami Yuugi walked away from Mai as well.
"Jounouchi told me you could help me out, Yuugi. Can you?" Mai asked.
"Since when was Jounouchi able to contact you and let you know Yuugi could help while he was here the whole time? I smell a plothole." Seto wrinkled his nose in disgust from the bad smell.
"Shut up!" Mokuba, Mai, Anzu, Jounouchi and Yami Yuugi beat Seto for speaking about the forbidden topic of doom. Then they went back to being normal as if nothing happened.
"Of course! Of course!" He skipped with joy at the thought of getting to help out someone he thought was good looking.
"And your friends can help too." Jounouchi added.
"That's a good idea!" Mai smiled.
"Damn Jounouchi dragging in them..." Yami Yuugi mumbled to himself.
"Anyway, we'll discuss it at the castle courtyard at midnight tonight. Be there. And if you can't show up because you can't get passed the guards, then don't bother showing up at all. I need someone worthy." She finished then walked away.
"I like her. She is hot." Yami Yuugi grinned.
"Shut up." Jounouchi glared at all the boys. "I got dibs on her first so lay off."
"Awwww!" Mokuba, Seto and Yami Yuugi said at the same time.
"Now let's burn some time and go do something until your meeting. Let's head back to my place." Jounouchi announced then motioned everyone to follow. The boys followed happily, but Anzu walked behind them from a small distance.
She let out a forced smile so no one could see her sadness. "So that's how he feels..."
-
When they arrived at Jounouchi's house they did not enter in because they saw Mai standing next to the door! Hm...How suspicious...
"What are you doing here Mai? Didn't you tell us to meet you at the castle courtyard tonight at midnight?" Yami Yuugi asked stupidly. "Hah! Tonight at midnight! It rhythms!"
"Yah, but I figured that would take to long so I'll just tell you guys now." Mai said while she was paying attention to her nails.
"You know how to ruin fun!" Yami Yuugi huffed in disappointment.
"That's my job, kid." She remarked truthfully.
"Brother!" A girl with long orange hair ran out of Jounouchi's door. From what I could tell, it is possible she just might be Jounouchi's sister.
"Female! Female!" Yami Yuugi blurted out. Obviously that loud retard caught Seto's attention.
Both Seto and Yami Yuugi ran up to the girl with eager eyes, but once they got up close they're expressions turned into great sadness.
"Aww, she's only a kid." Yami Yuugi kicked the floor.
"If she was older it would have been great." Seto added.
"We have no interest in you." They both said at the same time as they walked back next to Anzu and Jounouchi while the girl just stood there confused.
"Hey Shizuka!" Jounouchi called out to his sister.
"Hey brother!" Shizuka mocked her older brother. "Jeez, I'm standing right next to you, you don't need to yell." She glared at him for being a retard.
"Anyway." Mai spoke clearly to get everyone's attention. She was clearly trying to get everyone's attention, but you didn't know that, did you?
"I'll try to summarize this as best I can so we can get to a good part in this chapter." The blonde bluntly said. "So, I'm the advisor of the princess of this land. She is getting married to this prince guy who is bad news. I need you to find a way to expose his true self without getting caught. Got it? Good."
"Sorry, I can't help unless I see the princess in person." Yami Yuugi acted cool.
"You liar! You just wanna see if the princess looks hot!" Seto accused his rival.
"No way!" Yami Yuugi quickly replied to defend himself. A little too quickly if I might say so myself. The kind of quick that for sure means he is lying.
"Alright, we can go meet her now dammit!" Mai shouted angrily.
-
The group of four comrades and Mai quietly jumped the high cement fence to get into the courtyard of the royal castle at midnight. How it became that late already, I don't know. Anyway, Mai had told the princess to wait for her at the courtyard at midnight alone, and so they saw her there next to the waterfall with no one because she was supposed to go there alone.
"You look troubled my princess." Mai said formally as she bowed down to her princess.
"Well ya, if someone was trying to kill you I'm sure you would feel troubled." She replied bluntly.
"Princess! Princess!" Yami Yuugi and Seto blurted out as they rushed to her with eagerness.
"Are these the ones that will be helping me out?" The princess asked.
"Yes." Mai said and then smacked Yami Yuugi and Seto away from the princess. "Now I'm gonna explain this quick because this is getting boring."
"Okay, okay." Yami Yuugi nodded and listened carefully.
"You need to shut the fuck up or someone is gonna hear that we are hear." Mai finished.
"Aww...Fine." He huffed.
"Hey, what happened to Mokuba?" Anzu asked curiously. Ya, what did happen to Mokuba?
"I can't believe you guys forgot about me!" Mokuba responded to Anzu's question as he jumped down from the high fence.
"Whoops." Seto said.
"I was thinking that one of you could pretend to be me by dressing up exactly like me to be able to walk freely in the castle without any trouble so you can get information." The princess suggested.
"That's a perfect idea!" The idiot thief Yami Yuugi jumped like a pansy.
"Um, princess...What's your name?" Anzu asked curiously. AGAIN. Jeez, how many times in this chapter is this girl gonna get curious!
"My name is Meyari." She said.
"And hey! She looks just like Mokuba!" Yami Yuugi jumped into the scene like a total jackass. "You know what that means?" He grinned evilly.
-
"Wow, you were right Yuugi. If Mokuba wore princess Meyari's clothes he would look exactly like her." Jounouchi said as he looked at the Mokuba dressed in Meyari's clothes and makeup. Somehow Jounouchi had snuck by the guards of the castle and followed our heroes on their mission.
"Okay, enough playing around." Mai said. "We got to get this thief dressed up as Meyari because he is gonna be her." I bet you are all thinking; 'what were they thinking putting Yami Yuugi as the fake-Meyari! He is too damn tall and ugly for it! Mokuba should have been the chosen one since he looks like Meyari!' Yes, I know. But, you were all expecting Mokuba would be the one to do it, now weren't you? Well hah! You were wrong!
"What! Why do I have to be Meyari! I don't wanna be her! I wanna be me!" Yami Yuugi whined just like a little annoying kid.
"Would you just snap out of it!" Seto yelled at him as he slapped him.
"Hey! I already did like two seconds ago, ass." Yami Yuugi glared at Seto while rubbing his now bruised cheek.
-
And so we moved on to later...
"I look just like princess Meyari!" Yami Yuugi laughed like a girl. He did it very badly might I add. He was dressed in a cute yellow frilly dress with a lot of ribbons and a black wig of the same style as princess Meyari's. He also had more makeup on than he needed. Oh and you can't forget his fake boobs and his sparkly princess crown.
"Yeah you probably look like the retarded version of princess Meyari." Seto laughed to himself.
"Ass."
"Okay, what you gotta do is you got to find some way to prove princess Meyari's fiancé is trying/going to kill her. If you can do that, you will be rewarded greatly for your services." Mai said with great authority in her voice.
"Got it!" Yami Yuugi grinned.
"And please Yami Yuugi/Yuugi/whatever your name is; Make sure your voice is like a girl at all times." Mai asked, hoping the thief would not screw up the secret mission.
"Ok chief!" Yami Yuugi nodded.
"Princess Meyari can stay at my house until this is over." Jounouchi suggested.
"That's a great idea Jounouchi. That would be great. You're such a helpful guy!" Mai smiled happily at her friend.
"Yes!" Jounouchi whispered to himself. "I am so in!"
"How do I have a feeling this is gonna be a disaster?" Anzu moaned.
To Be Continued
R&r!