A/N: Sorry for the long updates. I've had this chapter and all my other ones for the others stories written down on paper for a month now... it has just been hard to sit down and type them out... -.-

Twilight
Chapter 14 - Father

Kai's POV

Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. I need more.

Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. I need the heat. I need the warmth. I need the blood… I must get some now. I must bathe in it. I must, I must. I can sense the elixir… over there! I… must… kill… must… That voice, he keeps talking to me…

Kill young one, it is in your blood you are a killer. You need the blood of another. Take it. It is yours. Go ahead. Do as your instinct tells you… Do as I tell you.

Kill? That's what I must do? I… who am I? What am I?

Don't worry. Do as I say and kill.

But what did she say I was? That girl…what did she call me? Kai? Who's he? Am I he?

You are I and I tell you to kill. Stop it with it with this foolish and rubbish. You are talking in riddles and it is not like me.

But you hurt her… I hurt her. What… did I know her?

No, you didn't. Now take life; that is an order.

She said she was mine…

She's delusional.

But she looks so familiar.

That is rubbish. Now kill.

It is like I've seen those gray eyes before.

Many people have gray eyes… now do as I say! Don't waste this precious time young one. You have missed out on eighteen years worth of destruction. Your father would want this…you want this…

Her touch, it was a different warmth than that of the blood…

Do as I say!

NO! I want her well. You hurt her. I…I was remembering who I am and you interrupted that!

I did none of the sort! If anything I was stopping you from believing a lie young Phoenix. I told you I am you and you are I.

No! You did interrupt! Now leave me alone! I must find her…PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

-ooooo-

Normal POV

Kai continued to zip through the sky, trying to sort everything out and figure out what was happening. The battle in his mind was constant. That voice would not leave him. No matter how much he screamed at it, how much he pleaded, it would just not go away. He wanted to know who he was, and why he was like this. But the voice wouldn't abandon him. It continued to torment and tug at the boy's human mind, twisting everything he thought around, confusing him even more than he already was.

Diving back down into the trees, he hoped to chase the voice out of his head; it was driving him insane. Twisting and twirling through the villages and small cities, he was driven into the smith's shop of one village. Breaking through it, smashing it to pieces, Kai tried to ram the voice out of his head.

The screams of the people drowned out all, but the voice…Kai unable to get rid of it, but he was able to smash into a barn. He lost control again to that voice and started tearing up the screeching horses and cattle. Soaking in their blood, he started to devour the carcasses, filling up his stomach. A few men dared to attempt to attack him, but they had the same fate.

Flying back into the streets, he started to be attacked by the people. Torches, pitchforks, and arrows were launched at him. Blocking them, he found the towns people to start throwing pots and pans at him as well. The women and children ran, and Kai spotted a little girl with long mahogany curls. The face of the woman, the one who had gotten to him, flashed into his mind.

Control, he was getting it back now. Slowly but surely, he was able to suppress the voice. Crying, he flew into the sky and headed back to where he had encountered her. That voice continued to try to protest, but Kai was in control now…

MICHI! That was her name. Then he remembered all. The floor washings, his grandfather's attempt on her, their nights… it all came back to him. He was flooded with his past.

Landing on the ground gracefully, he started to feel light-headed, and his body was pulsating. The next thing he knew, Kai held his bloodstained hands in front of his eyes. A chill ran down his spine as every nerve in his body stood on end, his cadaver shaking. Hours upon hour, Kai stood staring at himself, replaying everything he could remember over and over again like a broken record.

Finally, snapping out of his trance, Kai ran. He ran as fast as he possibly could. To where? He didn't know, but that voice had finally stopped tormenting him…for now. Kai wondered when he was going to try again. What had triggered that voice off in the first place? He was so confused.

Sprinting through the woods, he couldn't get the smell of death off of him. Approaching a river, he rushed in waist deep. Splashing his face continuously, he scrubbed all the dried blood off of his skin. Rubbing the flesh raw with his hands and nails, Kai couldn't remove that death smell. He continued to scrub until he dunked his head into the water.

Submerging himself, he tried to cleanse himself that way, but yet again the memories played. Surfacing and gasping for breath, Kai finally realized he was scared of that voice…what it did to him…of who he had become.

Leaving the river, he trudged his soaking body towards the village. Michi… he had hurt her. She had been trying to help him, and he hurt her. Takao, Hitoshi, Dragoon, they were going to hate him, long for his death. Beo… he didn't even want to think in that direction… He understood if they did. He was a monster. Kai had seen what he had done.

There was enough proof for him to see. He didn't want to be like that anymore ever again. Dranzer…she had tried to explain to him, but that voice…it had been too strong for him.

The village appeared in his sigh as the sun was setting behind him. Some of the villagers saw him out of the corner of their eyes. Scurrying away, they cried out for the warriors, Hitoshi, and Dragoon. Within second, arrows were pointed at Kai as Hitoshi and Dragoon approached them, Dranzer flew over to him.

:I must leave, Dranzer: he said. :I see…:

: Don't speak as such, young one: stated Dranzer. : They are just being cautious…:

:I don't blame them. Please stay here Dranzer. I'm…I'm going to leave. I…I am too dangerous. I am so confused, but I don't want to hurt her or another else again. Good-bye Dranzer. :

: Kai: But he turned and left, wandering back to where he had came from. Peering out of the tent, Mika's eyes continued to swell up and tear.

-ooooo-

The night had fallen over as the skies roared in the their woes and tears. Kai could feel the storm draining him of his own body warm, even though Dranzer had found him and a cavern for the waterlogged prince and her. She had also set up a fire for him inside. Leaning against the stone, Kai just stared at the flames, watching their enchanting dance once more.

Dranzer rested off slightly in the distance, pleased she had at least found him alive. The scarlet avian had tried multiple times to start to tell the bluenette the truth, but Kai had yet to respond to her. Shivering slightly, Dranzer flew over and landed on top of Kai's knees, staring down at him. Her feathers too had lost their glow and one feather fell from her graces. Neither phoenix obviously did well in rain.

: Why didn't you tell me? You knew I was…that. You know I would change into that? How long have you known that was I? Why did you keep it a secret from me? That voice, the voice in my head…it drove me to do all of that. You knew about that too, didn't you? Who was that in my head? Why me? What am I, Dranzer:

The sacred phoenix sighed and wilted her head towards the ground, snapping her tail feather around his body to hope to share with him the body warm she still had in her Kami-ish figure.

: Yes, I did know that would happen to you Kai—:

: And yet you never told me: Kai jumped to his feet in his anger and disbelief towards his Kami, stalking over to the other side of the cavern, facing the rock wall with his back towards his guardian.

: Kai…:

: I thought you wanted to help me? This voice has come to me since I was young. Why didn't you warn me this could…would happen? Maybe I could have fought it if, if I knew what I was dealing with:

:I wanted to, young one. I have always wanted to tell you. It is nothing to be ashamed of, Kai. :

: Then why not? Maybe I could have been able to prevent…that…:

: Sit down. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't because of Boris. :

: The bastard of a sorcerer: Dranzer nodded Kai kept facing the wall, still tweaked and finding his inner rage growing with the addition of the wonderful Boris to this platter of chaos.

: You are a hanyou Kai. Your father was a phoenix youkai and your mother was a mortal human. This was all long before Boris risked the armies on his conquest for a youkai hunt. You see, I was with your mother at the time when your father first saw her.

I was always ready to protect her from the youkai, but your father never attacked her, or drew any closer a distance…not once in his true form. Instead, you father did cross paths with your mother appearing in a human form.

I must say he was one of the most handsome mortal men I have ever seen myself. Your eyes, he had those. And also your ruggade hair… you aquired that too… along with his attitude never the less.

And your mother… she was an Aphrodite in disguise. That was where your charm came from, young one… You took their graces… and their curses as they came with the price.

And he continued to visit her in this human form, of course, over a time span until her heart was grasped in his palm.

He had convinced her and your grandfather, along with all the guards and people, that he was a Lord, which he in fact was. Amongst the other youkai throughout the land, your father was considered to be the Lord of the South and of the Skies. He was one of the eldest youkai still around. Many had either died off or had been killed by other youkai. But your father, he was too strong in his mind and his power and will to ever be outdone.

Not long after, they wedded, and your father thought ahead, fearing that the truth about him out someday reveal itself to your mother and her people. He was worrisome that your mother would fear him, and he loved her so much that he secretly seeked Boris' aid.

The sorcerer had suspected something odd about your father from the beginning, particularly in the way that he had first come across the Houou princess. Boris did agree to help your father and ease him from his worries. That lunatic man did manage to drain your father of his youkai energy. How so, I cannot say, for I did not watch that part with my own eyes. Your father was transformed into a mortal human.

But Boris was greedy, as he still is today, and salvaged the power your father had given up for his love; he used it for his own cynical usage, putting all your father's power into his own black magic. Then he went to find and destroy all the youkai with the combined powers of your father and his own alchemy.

When your mother came with the news of her pregnancy with you, your father still had plenty of fear left in him. This time he had feared that the transmutation had taken place after you were conceived, and that you would be caught between the two worlds. Boris was wary of this, knowing your father's history, and constantly was considering your type to be that of a hanyou. But nothing was brought up between the two men when you were born with a mortal human baby's body.

Only I knew you had been conceived before; your aura was different from your mother's and from your father's new one. I knew you would have a more challenging life ahead of you, so I protected you from your father's heritage. I tried my best to suppress it from you. Your father was a powerful youkai. That was why the voice, your youkai mind, is so strong. :

: And then they died…:

: Yes, they were human, young one. The Ookamikei Emperor took your father, but he had fought honorably, as did the Emperor. Your father just was not use to fighting with the knowledge that he was more susceptible to death and was without his old powers…:

: Who else knows this Dranzer? Does anyone:

: Our friends…Boris…:

: You told them… before you told me:

Silence…Kai would not speak to the phoenix or himself. He just started at the wall shivering. Every time Dranzer tried to land upon his shoulders, Kai would shrug her off, not wanting her to touch him. Hand clenched, the thought kept running through his head.

His father… Boris…the others…they all knew…

A heavy object was placed over the spread of his shoulders and back, and Kai could feel the breaths against the back of his neck. Shifting his eyes to his shoulders, he noticed padded hands touching him.

"Kai…"

"You shouldn't be here," he said, lowering his eyes to the ground. Mika took a step back, placing her hands behind her back and biting her lip. "Stay away from me. I don't want to hurt you again…"

"Kai-"

"I told you to get away from me!" he snapped, his voice laced in frustration. "I don't want you hurt, and right now I don't know how much I can fight off that voice in my head, the one that drove me to that. I don't want you to be caught up in my mess…my monster."

"Listen to me, Dranzer told me all. That was not you Kai. Don't you dare ever think that!"

Kai turned around, his wine-drenched eyes full of concern. He raised his hands, placing them a few inches from her arms, shaking as if he wanted to touch her, but he couldn't. He could not bring himself it that. Mika's eyes swelled up with tears as she jumped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Burying her face into the crook of his neck, she let her eyes bawl. Kai just stood still and straight, his arms by his sides.

"I don't like this," Mika sobbed. "You act as if you can't touch me again. It pains me more than anything else. Please don't think that was you."

"But it was me, Michi. I saw it happen and I was so confused. And now I can't remove the smell of death and blood from me."

"I have on ookami's nose… I smell none of the sort." Mika looked up and gently pressed her lips against Kai.

Kai was shocked slightly, but didn't respond back to her, no matter how much he wanted to. When Mika realized it was going nowhere, she stopped and lowered back onto the bottoms of her feet. Her mouth was opened slightly in a gasp as her bottom lip quivered. She could feel all her emotions failing her. This could not be true. He did not just deny her…

"But I am a hanyou. I can smell it. I don't want to harm you again. I want nothing more that your safety and happiness. I can't do anything but hurt you again. That is why I am telling you to go, Michi. I am telling you to forget about me."

"That is blasphemy! I can never do that. I don't know what is going through your mind right now-"

"That is the problem!" screamed Kai, throwing his hands in the air. "You don't know what this is like for me. To find out that my father was a youkai Lord, and that I have half of his heritage. My father's side of me is telling me to kill you right now Michi."

"But you aren't even touching me…"

"And that is why I don't want you near me. I don't know how long I can keep his voice at bay, I don't know how long I can keep the control anymore."

"But haven't you before? You said you heard that voice when you were little. Didn't you ever transform back then?" questioned Michi daring herself to rest her cheek on his chest, but failing herself.

"I can't explain it to you in words that you could comprehend," stated Kai. "It was strange, but part of me loved what I did. That same part is the part that told me to do it all, the part that I don't want you to ever have to be forced to see again. The part that could hurt you…"

"But you are hurting me! By saying all that. Just because you found out something new about yourself doesn't make you different. You are the same Kai I know and love…"

Kai just closed his eyes. She was more stubborn that she led on most of the time.

"I don't care if you are the Lord of the Underworld. I don't care if your mother was an ox, or if you yourself were that of a frog or toad," firmly declared Mika. "The people of this time find too much in the materialistic things. Yes, I do dream of finding my prince charming and I do wish to ride off into the sunset with him, just how all the fairy tales I was told as a babe ended. I want one of those endings. I want my happily ever after. I want my prince…"

"Then go… I am holding you back."

"NO! Will you just shut your trap and open up your ears and mind! I said I wanted my prince! And what are you? Chopped liver? You are a prince, Kai. You are my prince. Even if you were the poorest of all the land, you would still have a prince's heart… and all I would need was you yourself," Mika stated with a trembling tone.

"But I don't know-"

"And neither do I of the future Kai. I dread thinking about the future. I dread the thought of the people I grew up with and love dying at the hands of a mad man. I know the Ookamikei warriors and even the Torabuzo warriors only have so many numbers," sobbed Mika. "But I pray for their safety. That is something I use to do for myself as well Kai.

Every night I would pray that the armies were strong enough to keep Boris' harebrained army off of the land I grew up in. But I haven't prayed for my safety in months Kai. I haven't prayed ever since you helped Hiromi and myself escape. I trusted you then Kai. And I trust you the same now. Nothing had changed about you in my eyes and my faith. If anything I see how much safer I can be when you can control your mind…"

Kai melted and wrapped his arms slowly around her back, leaning down and into their embrace. Squeezing his eyes tightly, the images continued to replay over and over again through his mind. They continued to hug each other, and Mika's body warmth felt like honey to him as he could sense more heat.

But this time, he wasn't draining her of this heat greedily like before. This time he could feel her comfort with him. It was the same feeling he was experiencing from her.

Running his fingers through the ragged ends of her hair, Kai buried his face into the crook of her neck, pressing her head closer to his with his shoulder. Covered in her mahogany hair, Kai tried to release himself from the morning's memories, but he couldn't.

Mika broke their grip and encouraged him to be closer to the fire, noting how chilled Kai's skin was to the touch. Both sat down aside one another, as Dranzer looked out to see the storm raging on. The phoenix had remained silent during the lover's first real squabble in a while. It seemed Mika had said all that the phoenix Kami could have had offered for her boy… and more.

Pulling the blanket from his back, Kai placed it over top of both of them. Mika rested her head against the hanyou's shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief. Kai pulled one of Mika's hands out and up to his face gently. His wine-poured eyes examined the hand carefully, gazing up the heavily wrapped bandages. The ookami girl winced once.

"It doesn't really hurt anymore…"

"But I did this? I caused you this pain when you were just trying to aid me. I can't express how sorry I am for doing that to you. I wish I could take back this morning…" He pressed her hands lightly up against his face.

"But we can't…please. Please come back with me to the camp," she whispered.

"They won't allow me back, Michi. Dragoon, he was there and he saw it all. And he and the Dragons people already ran me out."

"No, no they didn't. Takao said that they were going to question you…see if you did that on your own accord," she replied. "I watched…you left before they were close."

"And Beo…he shall want my head on a platter…"

"Beo is injured, he is too weak to cause you harm."

"A Kami injured?"

"Dranzer explained that to me as well. True Beo is the Kami of Ookamikei, but unlike Dranzer or Dragoon who have immortal bodies, only Beo's soul is that of a Kami. He is residing in a body that has a mortal's fate. Given he shall heal within the next few days. Hence why he did not attempt to join you and the Dragons when that spider youkai attacked." Kai nodded, wrapping his arms around her, and pulling her in closer to his body.

"Kai… I… I haven't been all-honest with you. There are things about me, about my past I haven't told you…"

"Hush, love. Let us not speak of the pasts right now. All I need is to know is that I love you and do love me…" Mika nodded and closed her eyes, drifting into a slumber.