(Seven)
Rogue woke the next morning when the first rays of light touched her face. She sat up and stretched, feeling tingly and wonderful all over. She looked back at Remy's sleeping face, a surge of affection making her smile. He always looked like a small child when he was out cold, it was the only time he let his guard down. They had slept peacefully, the false alarm not withstanding. It had just been another excuse to play some more.
She set her feet down on the floor and looked down at Kimble's box. Remy had shut the lid, but it was still unlocked. She opened it carefully, being quiet about it. Her eyes widened when she saw all the stuff that was in there. Kimble had been busy stealing stuff from everybody. She wondered why he would do that. Was he some kind of voyeur? It would come as no surprise to her, Kimble seemed like the kind of guy who had a sense of the sick and perverted.
What she saw next only proved it to her. She found the stack of intimate drawings Kimble had made of himself and Remy and she picked them up to look at them all the better. She gasped softly when she saw what Kimble had made. These pictures were too carefully crafted to be fantasy, she reasoned. It didn't escape her notice how in all of them, Kimble was a man. He hadn't wanted to shift to girl for this one, no. She flipped through until she found the special one the Lover had made, it took her breath away.
"What you doin', chere?"
Rouge turned, startled. She looked into Remy's face and saw the tightness of his jaw. He had awakened silently, her movement rousing him from a deep sleep. He knew now what she had seen and was immediately on the defensive.
"I thought you and Kimble weren't intimate," she said, unable to hide a tone of accusation there.
" 'E ask an Gambit say no. Dat's it."
He saw she didn't believe and his temper started to rise.
"These pictures tell a diff'rent story, Sugah."
"Yeah, well. De Kimble, he got quite de imagination, oui," he said, sitting up. He took the pictures from her and shoved them back into the box, slamming the lid down.
"When we were makin' love, it was diff'rent than b'fore."
Remy was startled at that but tried to hide it. It was one thing for him to feel what Kimble had done to him, it was quite another for someone else to. He knew that Kimble had changed him, he just hadn't realized how much until now. His confusion didn't stop him from feeling angry at Rogue's accusation. He grinned at her irritably. "Mebbe you jus' f'got what you was missin', eh?"
"No. Kimble fucked you, didn't he? He fucked you an' changed you."
"Non. Not like dat. It 'appen' when we share de files."
"You knew about it and didn't say anything?"
"Didn' t'ink it was dat big a deal."
"Not a big deal? Oh, like you thought Kimble sneaking off wasn't a big deal either? Don't you think you should have told the Professor?"
"Non. Dis b'tween Kim an' me."
"Really?" she said sharply. She rose and started to dress, making sure she removed the collar. They were done with it now, that much was clear.
Gambit lay back across the bed, his fury burning bright now. He snatched at his cigarettes and lit one in anger. He couldn't believe she was pulling this crap, especially after all the things he had told her last night. Surely she must have known he was telling the truth? How could she do this to him? "What's yo' problem, chere? You gonna' say you didn' like it, eh?"
"No. What I don't like is you always hidin' things. I love you, Remy, I really do. But I cain't take this hidin' stuff all of the time. I cain't trust you."
"What? I'm suppose' ta come walkin' in de door sayin', 'Man, you t'ink Gambit was hot stuff before, you should see 'im now', ey? Dat what you want?"
"What else are you hidin'?"
"Dere ain't nuthin' else!" he insisted. His sharp tone betrayed his belief that he knew he had already lost this battle. It was down to the same old crap as always, he was a fool to have ever believed otherwise.
She just shrugged and walked to the door, tugging on her gloves impatiently. She stopped when she heard him laugh at her. "What?"
"Don' t'ink Gambit don' know what you doin', chere."
"What's that?"
"You come 'ere lookin' for some of what you was missin', den you use dis as an excuse ta walk away. Gambit ain't no fool," he accused, a smug smile on his face hiding his pain.
"Oh, please! You're so full of yourself!"
He stood up with his usual cat like masculine grace and walked over to her, laying a hand on the door so she couldn't flee so easily. He gave her another irritated smile, his eyes cold and hard. "Right. Mebbe dat's all Gambit ever was to you. Jus' some kind of toy."
"You want everything, you stupid little boy! You want me down at your feet while you run around doin' what you please an' hidin' it all! How do I know you don't have girls all over! Why should I believe you and Kimble never had an affair! You lie about everything! If you're not lying about it, you're hiding it and that's just as bad! You think this is all a stupid game! Well, I don't play that way! I never have!"
"You de one playin' a game, chere. Not me. You say you can't trust me? What a crock of shit! You can't, eh? Fa! You won't! 'S easier dat way, bien?"
It was her turn to be defensive. She stepped back, indignant. "What do you mean by that?"
"Always wit you, I can't dis, I can't dat! You won't 'cause you so scared of gettin' 'urt, you'd rather 'urt de rest of us dan y'self! You so fuckin' selfish!"
She slapped him viciously, shoving him back. He stepped aside, his hand on his cheek where he had been struck, unable to hide his surprise this time. It was the first time she had ever hit him. She had a real bad habit of throwing things around, but it had never come to this. There was a moment of silence then, as it all came to him. It came with the pain, it came with the low vibration of anger and disgust he was now feeling from her. He was still a little sensitive from their coupling, his senses more aware of her than ever before. He could have done without it. The vibration spoke to him as her shine had the night before. He was never going to win. He was never going to have what he wanted. Anya had lied. Once more, Gambit loses. What a surprise.
He put his hands up in mock surrender and turned away, his face flushed and angry. He had to leave now or this was going to get ugly. He wanted to beat the shit out of her.
"Remy, wait -"
"Get out!" he said, grabbing his pants and shoving them on.
She lingered at the door unable to hide her horror at what she had done. When he threw a bag on the bed and started tossing clothes into it, she knew she had gone too far this time. "Oh, Remy. No!"
He ignored her and packed. He grabbed clothes like a machine, thrusting them into the bag with no regard to what he might really need or not. His mind was a wall of dark black rage and frustration.
He opened the drawer to his dresser and grabbed a huge wad of bills, making Rogue's eyes widen in wonder. It looked like it was all hundreds, she had no idea he had that much money just hanging around or even where it had come from. All the X-men were paid by Charles Xavier, but not enough to explain this. The Professor gave them room and board and a four hundred dollar cash allowance each week. It was compensation for their time and risk taking, though most of them would have stayed without it. The X-men who gave classes as well earned even more. Gambit hadn't taught a class in a while, certainly not enough to justify the large amount he had just taken. It looked to be well over thirty or forty thousand dollars and he tossed it in the bag like it meant nothing. It seemed only to justify what she'd said about him being so secretive, but she still didn't want him to go. His taking that amount of money could only mean he was going away for a long time, possibly forever. She grabbed at him and he tossed her off roughly, shoving her back towards the door with a snarl. He went back to jamming clothes into the bag.
He paused in his work only to grab Kimble's drawings and shove them in the bag. He didn't know why he wanted them, he just didn't want them left behind. He grabbed Kimble's diary as well. He hadn't finished with it, but wasn't going to leave it. He had no intentions of coming back. He didn't care about what else was left. It was disposable, just like everything else in his life, it seemed.
He snatched up a pair of boots from his closet without putting them on and stomped past her, still saying nothing. She trailed him down the hall, crying, but he wouldn't listen. He was shaking with hurt and rage and wanted nothing more to do with her. He was done. He was more than done with everything.
He was stopped at the top of the stairs by Manny. Manny had heard all the shouting and had come running. When he saw Remy dressed only in a pair of pants with a belt he hadn't bothered to buckle, a packed bag over his shoulder, he knew instantly what had gone on here. The fact that he hadn't seen Rogue since early yesterday was enough to make him suspicious. Rogue had grown distant lately, spending less and less time with him. He asked her what was wrong, but she never really answered him. He was worried she was having second thoughts. This only confirmed what he already knew.
He was about to say something but paused when he saw the large scars on Remy's bare chest. He had never seen them before and recognized them for what they were, a near brush with death. It was obvious he had once been savaged by some terrible beast. It shocked him silent.
Gambit took advantage of Manny's hesitation. He just grinned at Manny and said with as much cruelty as he could muster, "She all done wit me, homme. You can 'ave her back now. Can't say it was worth de price she charge, her bein' such a useless whore an' all." He gave Manny a shove with his shoulder as he passed and kept going.
"Rogue!" Manny gasped breathlessly. His chest was tight with pain and he couldn't even move.
She blew past him carelessly, pursuing Remy without speaking a word.
The Professor heard all the racket and came out of his office, meeting Gambit at the bottom of the stairs. He didn't need to ask what was going on, the thief's pain and rage was all too obvious. Remy, please don't go, he sent as a private message. It came with a vibration of love Remy shuddered to feel. He was going crazy. He had to get out of here.
"It's been real, Prof. Really. But Gambit's 'ad enough."
Rogue trembled and shook behind him, unable to keep silent as she sobbed.
"Go for a few days and breathe. But come back...please," the Professor pleaded, hoping for Gambit to see reason. It wasn't going to happen. His worst fear was coming true. First Logan had gone, now were falling apart and he was unable to stop it.
Gambit looked at Charles, acknowledging his efforts, but his choice was already made. He was leaving, that was it."Non. I don' t'ink so. Dere ain't nuthin' ere fo' me. Dis been jus' another glorious waste of Gambit's time. He got better t'ings ta do."
"Kimble might not be dead. We won't be able to find him without you."
"He's gone, she's gone. It's all gone. Au revoir, y'all."
He stomped past them, his bag over his shoulder and walked out, not bothering to shut the door. He made his way to the garage and tossed his stuff in the Jeep. He jumped in and fired it up, gunning the motor angrily. He started to back out in a rush, but saw Storm standing in his way. He gunned the motor again, threatening her.
She stood as she was, regal and motherly in her concern for him. "You running away? How very much like Logan you are. He left last night."
He revved the engine again but Storm still refused to budge out of his way. She had known Remy for a long time. Maybe they weren't as close as they used to be, but she was still sensitive to his pain. She didn't want him to go. She knew it wouldn't solve his problems even if he didn't.
"De furball leave? All de better for you den. Now get de fuck outta of Gambit's way!"
"If you leave, Rogue wins."
He answered her by shifting gear and backing up quickly. He braked again only because she still blocked him, unwilling to move. He snarled at her in frustration and pain, his eyes glassy with tears just waiting to fall.
"Don't leave us, Remy. You've fought so hard for so much. Don't do this."
"Get out of my way, chere. Gambit's goin' run you down!" he snarled as the tears finally started to run down his face. He had reached his limit and was well past it.
Storm saw he wasn't going to listen and gave in. She stepped aside and he blew past her, spraying gravel as he turned sharply and headed for the gates, never looking back. She watched him leave, her spirits sinking. Sometimes it seemed like things just never got better around here, only worse. It upset her that she was helpless to stop Remy's departure, but she was only one person on a team of many that was surely falling apart. In small ways, Jael was gaining ground, inch by inch.