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Chapter 8
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When the door closed behind him, Sara took a ragged breath.
"I'm not going to cry," she told herself firmly, blinking away the tears that had begun to form. "I won't...I'm just going to hit the call button, and focus on getting out of here."
Before she could reach it, however, the door opened and a blonde nurse in pink and purpe scrubs walked in, her eyes never leaving the chart in her hands. Sara remained silent, waiting for the nurse to look her way. She watched as the young woman flitted about the room, flipping charts, changing the rotation schedules, and recording information on her clipboard. Finally, Sara cleared her throat in an effort to gain the woman's attention.
The suden noise clearly startled her out of her thoughts, but when she looked up, she seemed delighted to see Sara awake.
"Ms. Sidle! ... Well, welcome back to us. I'm glad to see that you're finally awake."
Sara gave a shy smile. "Thank you..."
"You know," continued the nurse, "I wondered why Mr. Grissom had left. After three days in that chair, he must have been very relieved to see you feeling better and-"
"Wait," Sara interrupted, holding up a hand to stop the woman's rambling. "He was here that long?"
The woman nodded. "He stayed right there next to you the whole time. It was hard for him to see you suffer through those nightmarish fits, but he stayed. He spoke to you, told you stories... anything to calm you. He even-"
"Held my hand..." Sara finished the sentence, laying backin her bed, her mind reeling.
The nurse smiled. "Yes."
"Then I wasn't imagining it..."
Ignoring this last statement, the woman laid her clipboard on the bedside table. "I'll go and tell the doctor you're awake. If everything checks out and he gives the okay, you should be able to sign the release paperwork and go home."
As the nurse left, the dull ache behind Sara's eyes intensifiedwith a growing headache that no aspirin would relieve. Home? At this point, she was so confused that she wasn't even sure where that was. She'd told Grissom that Vegas wasn't home anymore; she'd be completely out of place in Boston, having left there ages ago. She couldn't go back to San Fransisco, and staying with the FBI had nearly gotten her killed.
Swiping at yet another unbidden tear, she laid back and asked the cieling,
"Now what am I supposed to do?"
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Several hours later, Sara sat in her apartment near Quantico thinking she'd answered that question. The doctor had come in and looked her over, saying that there appeared to nothing wrong at first glance, other than a few scratches and bruises and her broken wrist. Just to be safe, though, he'd run a few tests. Blood pressure, reflexes, and other simple ones to start, and then later, they'd drawn blood, taken X-rays, and done a CATscan, along with countless other things she didn't know the names of. But, eventually, they'd all come to the same conclusion: she was fit as a fiddle and ready to leave. So they'd packed a large paper bag with all her personal belongings, got all the paperwork in order, and let her go.
Now, she sat on the couch and was going through the bag. She took out herweapon and her badge, staring at the latter for a moment and tracing the letters 'FBI' with her finger. Setting it on the coffetable, she set the bag down and dove back in. The next item was her purse, which surprised her... She hadn't expected to get it back. She then pulled out herpager and cell phone, both of which were laden with messages. Sighing, she swore she'd get back to them later and set them aside.
To make sure that was everything, she turned the bag upside down and shook it. An envelope fluttered out and onto the floor, peaking Sara's interest as she bent to pick it up. Turning it over in her hand, she saw her name scrawled on the front in neat print, but no other inscriptions anywhere. Wary of who might be sending her such a note, she hesitated, but eventually her curiousity got the better of her. She pulled out the letter from within and read:
Dear Sara,
If you are reading this, it means that you are still angry with me, and rightfully so. I've been terrible to you and I know that I deserve everything you've dished out at me, but please don't give up on me yet. I still have so much to explain.
Things have been rough since you left. With you gone, both swing and graveyard shift crews are pulling doubles just to carry the regular load. We're incredibly short-staffed, and Carvallo and Ecklie wanted me to replace you, but I couldn't... I guess I still held out hope that, somehow, you'd come back.
The guys miss you terribly and everyone asks aobut you, assuming that you've kept in touch. They were glad to know that you think of them, but jealous that I had spoken to you. I told them theat they hadn't missed anything, but they didn't believe me... I guess they were right, though, because it was wonderful to hear your voice and know that you were thinking of me too.
In truth,I never stopped thinking of you, Sara. I realize that I've made a lot made a lot of stupid mistakes over the years, and have driven you away in the process. I have so much to apologize for, and much of it is unforgivable, but I hope you can find it in your heart to do so. If not, then I leave you with this:
I love you, Sara, and I can't lose you again. I've loved you for years but didn't know how to express it, and it nearly killed me when you left thinking that I hated you.
Forgive me... Forgive me all my stupid mistakes and help me to repair the damage I've done.
Come home to me.
Forever Yours,
Grissom
The letter fell to the floor. She was speechless. If she'd had any idea...
'My God,' she thought. 'What's wrong with me?'
Remembering his final words to her, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed the number she knew by heart. Her pulse quickened as the phone rang without answer, which she supposed was a blessing in disguise for, in reality, she didn't know what she would say. Hanging up and tossing the phone into her purse, she ran to the bedroom and started packing her things as quickly as she possibly could. About 20 minutes later, she tossed the small bags into the trunk of her car and headed fo the airport in Richmond, the words "Come home to me" floating through her mind, and hoping to God she wasn't too late.
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