"You're my godmother!"

"Deliciously ironic, isn't it?" Hermione couldn't help her smirk this time; she just wished she could see the expression on Draco's face.

Draco launched himself from his seat and began pacing the room. "Fucking catastrophic is what I'd call it. This has got to be some sort of joke. Potter's behind a curtain somewhere giggling his pansy little arse off."

"Language, Draco," Hermione admonished.

"Fuck my language. Do you have any idea what my father would do if he found out? The seventh circle of hell would be paradise by comparison. I'd rather face the Dark Lord's wrath. At least he'd just torture me a little before ending my life. Mother will be apoplectic and Aunt Bella! What Aunt Bella will do to us will make both of us wish for the Longbottoms' fate!"

"I'm so charmed to be part of your little family, Draco," Hermione remarked.

"My family?" Draco questioned in disbelief. "Is that why you did this? To bind my family to you? If you believe for a moment that you will gain any sort of influence with my peers, you are sorely mistaken."

Hermione laughed, "Your peers? Draco, I have no interest in anything your peers have to offer. If anything, I should be suspicious of you!"

"Me?"

"Yes. As your godmother, you have almost no obligation to me whatsoever. I, however, am charged with ensuring your successful future. Any Slytherin worth his salt plans three moves ahead. You came here seeking my help? You secured it. Especially if it is what I've deduced it to be."

"My plans," Draco sneered, "involved appealing to that 'better nature' you Gryffindors claim to possess, not binding myself to you for eternity!"

"Hardly eternity, Draco. Just until you're married." Hermione was the very image of innocence.

Draco halted midway across the room. "M... married?"

"Yes, Draco. I told you that earlier, weren't you listening? But that's getting a little far a field. Right now we should be more concerned with seeing to your safety. Which, I assume, is why you are here?"

Draco wasn't sure he could take much more of this. He'd come here seeking to solve one potential problem, and so far had only succeeded in creating a dozen more. Some very near and tangible. And Granger! He'd always known she was smart. Book smart, he'd thought. But the girl sitting across the room barely resembled the one he thought he knew from school. When had she gotten so damned observant? And based off her manipulations of both himself and the servant during that whole tea fiasco, he was beginning to suspect she was somewhat devious as well.

Draco returned to his chair and slumped down into it. "Yes. If the Dark Lord loses this war, I'm almost guaranteed an adjacent cell to my father's. I was hoping you might be able to bend an ear or two to prevent that. After all, the three of you will have saved the wizarding world, they'll grant you almost anything at that point, especially if you can convince... others to do the same."

Hermione knew exactly who he meant. "Hmm, I do have some influence with the boys," she purred. "And I'm almost certain I can convince Katie not to press charges. But what made you believe that I would be more receptive to you than they?"

"Weasley hates me. Flat out hates me. I've given him reason to I suppose, he was an easier target most of the time than you or Potter. And I have no doubt that by now he knows I was behind the poisoning. I fear he'd hex me as soon as look at me."

"And why not ask Harry?" Hermione queried. "He was there on the tower, you know. He saw everything. He knows you didn't truly wish to harm the Headmaster. Why didn't you approach him?"

"I considered it. But the price would be too high."

"Price?"

"Potter would help me, I have no doubt. But in return he would demand the one thing I will not give." Draco leaned forward and spoke with resolution and conviction. "I will not do it. I will not give up Professor Snape. I owe him my life and more - we Malfoys take our debts seriously."

Hermione quashed the sudden need to reassure him; to let him know she had no intention of asking for the head of his Head of House. It would seem that their new bond had gifted - or cursed - her with a fully developed maternal instinct. She quickly changed the direction of the conversation. "So I was the best of a bad lot, was I?" she asked, challengingly.

Draco winced. He should have known that Granger would take being chosen by default as an insult. Time for some flattery and perhaps just a little self-deprecation. "More that you have a penchant for championing lost causes. That dragon in our first year, that beast of a hippogriff in our third. That house-elf club of yours, Potter and Weasley... And what am I, if not a lost cause?"

Hermione smirked in that irritatingly familiar way again. "It would seem that way, wouldn't it? But I wouldn't class you as lost cause, Draco, merely..." she arched one eyebrow, "difficult. I'm confident I can do as you ask. But what are you willing to do for me." Once again Hermione was the picture of innocence, as if she were only asking for a trifling thing.

Draco's curiosity was further piqued. For a Gryffindor, Granger was being awfully cagey. Warily, he replied, "Barring harm to my mother or Professor Snape: whatever it takes."

Having abandoned her teacup the side table during Draco's pacing and ranting to, Hermione was free to steeple her fingers and murmur "Excellent." with a predatory grin. Then she dismissed it as if unimportant, "But we can discuss that later. Right now, I'm more concerned about your immediate safety."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked, puzzled.

"Well, let's start with the basics. Can I assume you weren't followed here?"

"Of course not," Draco scoffed, "Mother thinks I'm at... a meeting and they think I'm at home. And just to be certain I apparated to three other locations in London first."

"Wizarding or Muggle?"

"Abandoned lots. Why?"

"Well, at least you're learning. The last time you tried sneaking around London, Harry followed you."

"You're criticising my sneaking abilities? Who made the fool of herself trying to pry information out of Borgin?"

"I was trying to warn you off, you nit, without giving the game away to Harry. You should have realised then that someone was onto you, but considering that you ignored Professor Snape's warning at that horrid party that we knew I suppose a more subtle warning from me was bound to go unnoticed."

Draco was angry and confused. "What do you care? And how do you know about that conversation anyway?"

"After the incident at the Department of Mysteries, I had no desire to see anyone hurt, not even you. I could just tell that whatever you were up to was going to end badly for everyone." Hermione shrugged. "And as for your private conversation? Harry has a habit of listening at keyholes."

"That bast..."

Hermione cut off another potential tirade. "Regardless of Harry's ethics, or lack of them, I'm satisfied that you weren't followed. Now shall we move on?" She didn't wait for him to respond. "Next is how to deal with your Aunt tonight. I'm assuming that you were to be her first godchild?"

"Yes. Azkaban escapees aren't generally considered good role models," Draco replied snidely.

"Good, then can I also assume that you've mastered silent spellcasting by now?" Draco nodded and after a moment Hermione took his lack of verbal reply as an affirmative. "Then all you have to do is apply a slight warming charm as you pass her your wand and act a little more generously to her suggestions over the next day or two. Nothing too overt, mind, don't make her suspicious or think that you're weak willed. And for Merlin's sake keep her out of your mind!"

Draco blinked in surprise. He'd suspected a little deviousness in her nature earlier but this was something else! But now she was speaking again and it took a moment for his mind to catch up. The mention of the Dark Lord's name caused an automatic reaction - "Don't say his name!"

Hermione sniffed. "You-Know-Who, then. Can I assume that you're still on his shit list?"

With all the other shocks that had come his way this day, Draco just let the crudity coming from the mouth of the Gryffindor Prefect go. "Let's just say that my godfather has been using his influence to keep me relatively unscathed. Out of sight, out of mind and all that."

Hermione considered this. "Then perhaps he and I need to have a chat..."

Whatever else Hermione had intended to say, it was lost was as Draco jumped to his feet and snapped, "Damn it, Granger! I told you: I won't give him up!"

Of all the reactions to his outburst, Draco received only one that he expected: initial shock. It was the following delighted laughter that confused him.

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A/N: Thanks again to Veronica for being a great and patient beta, and to all of you for your reviews. Well no one got the Buffy reference, so no points for anybody. I paraphrased a line from the Master in the episode "Angel"- Master: I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy. (Darla kills the Three) Of course, sometimes a little is enough.