Title: HAVEN

Author: Lacenire

Part:3

Rating: M

Characters: Ronon/ Amirah (OC)

Archiving: Yes

Warnings: None

Spoilers: None

Disclaimers: I do not own Ronon or any characters from
Stargate Atlantis

Amirah was miserable. It was five days since their meeting and she had been hiding out ever since. She had purposely gone to the lab at odd hours when she knew that no one would be around. Also, for the past two days she had called in sick and refused to answer Pixi's calls. She was deeply disturbed by her reaction to Ronon, both outwardly and emotionally. She was horrified and sickened by the way she had reacted to his touch. He had been so gentle, nothing like the beast that had attacked her, and yet……. she had struck him. This was what truly frightened her.

Supposing I can never bear to be intimately touched by a man again? Amirah thought miserably.

It was obvious that despite his large size, and fierce demeanor, Ronon did in fact have a gentle side. After overhearing conversations about him, it seemed that he had experienced terrible things at the hands of the wraith.

He's just like me, hurt and scarred by unfortunate circumstances and the beastly people we have out there.

What right do I have to act as if only I have been abused, and disrespected. Amirah thought sadly as she sat contemplating her feelings for Ronon for the fifth consecutive night.

The buzzing of the call button broke through the haze of thought that surrounded her. Thinking it was Pixi, Amirah went over to the view port and as was her habit, she looked out before opening. To her dismay, HE was standing outside her door.

Oh God! What should I do?

Ignore him, or open the door and face my fears?

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Ronon stood staring at the door, he knew she was looking at him and even though he couldn't see her, he could feel her presence and her eyes.

Will she open the door?

He hoped so. He didn't want to have to approach her in a public place until he understood her fears better. Breaking down the door was also not an option. Not with this woman.

As he was about to ring the bell again, the door gently slid open so he could enter.

She was sitting cross-legged on a group of cushions, staring at him with some uncertainty. He entered and the door slid closed behind him. Without a word, he walked over to the cushions and sat directly across from her. He had deliberately avoided meeting her eyes, needing sometime to dampen the desire that flared at the sight of her. When he was seated, he finally allowed his eyes to meet hers. A timeless moment passed as he stared at nothing else but her eyes, willing her to speak first. He could see the myriad of emotions mirrored in those eyes. Fear and uncertainty, competed with desire and anticipation, the latter giving him hope.

"I want to apologize for hitting you the other day."

She spoke slowly and softly, her words caressing him, her voice melodious and as beautiful as the rest of her.

"I have dismissed the incident already," He said gently, "I probably should not have taken liberties."

"How can you be so dismissive? I smashed my hand into your face! I was out of control!"

Tears had sprung to Amirah's eyes as she said this, her voice breaking with emotion.

Ronon longed to take her into his arms and soothe away the pain she was feeling. It seemed as if all the pent up emotions were about to burst forth.

"Amirah, I hold no grudge against you for hitting me, there is nothing that you could do that would turn me from you, I want only to cherish you and keep you safe."

"You don't even know me!" She cried, "Why would you want to keep me safe?"

"Mirah, I'll tell you why if you tell me what it is you fear. What haunts you so?"

Amirah calmly considered his words, hearing Dr Jackman in the back of her mind telling her it was time to let go and move on with her life. She sighed, lowered her eyes and haltingly began:

Two years ago I was a researcher at a prestigious university back on Earth. I had just gotten my doctorate and was trying to establish myself by collaborating with a prominent professor in the field. I was working many long hours and many long nights. The work I was doing on algal cultures was really important, and is in fact the basis of the planetary rehabilitation work I'm doing now.

Amirah paused and swiped at the tears that pooled. Ronon waited, giving her time to begin again.

There was this other researcher also working alongside another professor but in another field, their lab was across from where I was and we became friendly.

Her voice broke again, and Ronon waited.

Very collegial, Oh God! He would sometimes also be working late and he'd

check in on me, or we would walk out to our cars together. One day he asked me out,…….. I hadn't realized he was attracted to me, I was so taken up with my research. I realized then I had made a mistake in befriending him so much, because I felt no romantic connection to him. I refused his invitation. He didn't take it well. He became abusive and called me nasty names. I had no choice but to stop having interactions with him. I didn't tell the professor about the invitation or any of it, I just avoided him. I even stopped working late whenever he was working late.

I was attacked a month later. I wasn't even thinking about his irate behavior or his threats. We had maintained a coldness and I thought it was over. I even started to work late again. Then he tried to rape me. At the time I didn't know who my attacker was, only that the person had jumped out at me as I was walking to my car. He wore a mask and dark clothing. He used a knife to hold me down and keep me quiet.

Ronon longed to pull her into his arms and stroke her hair and comfort her. In Setita it was a heinous crime for a man to force a woman. Ronon longed to gut the man who had dared to treat Amirah so callously. He kept a tight rein on his outward emotions, not wanting her to see how murderously angry he was getting as she related more and more of her experience. In some deep part of his mind he knew that his anger was destined to be denied an outlet. He'd never get his hands on the Calot that had hurt Amirah. Yet his protective nature demanded he feel this way.

He ripped apart my clothes, and squeezed my breasts. He…..he used his knees to force open my legs and he tore at my underwear. I was helpless. The only reason he wasn't able to complete the act was because his zipper caught, and he had to shift aside to use both hands to free it. I was able to scratch him and push him off. I ran to the security station and alerted them to what had happened.

They caught him the next day. Would you believe he came out to work with long scratches on his face?

I went into therapy, I couldn't stand to be touched by any man. I didn't want to be touched by any man.

I never expected to change my mind about that.

This last statement was an almost inaudible whisper, to anyone without Ronon's acute hearing. He heard it as clearly as if she had shouted. He felt his spirit soar, she had practically admitted to having feelings for him.

Slowly, yet deliberately, Ronon reached out and took one of Amirah's hands in a firm yet gentle grip. She reflexively tightened her hands and tried to jerkily pull her hand away. He held firm and waited.

Amirah fought the impulse to use her other hand to get free. Slowly, ever so slowly, she allowed the tension to drain away and her hands and body relaxed.

That was the signal Ronon was waiting for and he slowly reached out to take Amirah's other hand.

Amirah watched as her free hand was trapped in Ronon's larger hands. Panic rose to her throat, her heart beat so wildly she thought she would die of heart failure.

Finally he spoke:

"I thank you Amirah for trusting me enough to share that painful experience. I understand your previous actions better now, and swear that I will not allow the demons that haunt you to continue to rule you. I will tell you now why I want to keep you safe"

At the sound of his soft yet deep voice, Amirah's agitation ceased.

How was this extremely large yet gentle man able to radiate such a calming, soothing presence? By all rights she should be out of her mind with fear and distrust.

As these thoughts raced through her mind, Ronon began to recount his tale:

I have been running for 7 years. The Wraith thought to get more pleasure out of me as a Runner than as a meal. They wanted to use me as part of their Adulthood Rites of passage. Young Wraith would track me down by the beacon planted in my back, and then attempt to kill me. When none of these wraith returned, it became sport for the blooded adults to challenge each other to be the one to bring me down.

I have been living by my wits and my prowess in armed and unarmed combat so long that it is now difficult to trust anyone. I owe my life and my hopes to Sheppard. He offered to help me even though I had imprisoned him. I trust him with my life……….

Amirah listened intently as Ronon continued to recount his story. He spoke of his distress upon the realization that Setita had been destroyed, and his people murdered to the point of extinction. He spoke of his joy at finding a small community of survivors, and his satisfaction when he executed a Traitor. It was amazing how completely he opened up to her and told her things that no one else knew, not even Colonel Sheppard. Amirah could feel all the tension she had felt these past two years draining away, as she continued to stare into his eyes and he into hers.

"………….so you see Amirah, we have both been victims and have both suffered greatly and been abused. I see you as my salvation and I see myself as your salvation. When I met you in that gym, all those weeks ago, I saw in you something precious, something worthy of treasuring. We belong together Amirah, you feel it too, ……..and that is why I want to keep you safe."

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As Ronon delivered these last words, he bent his head down until his eyes were on a level with hers, and their noses were practically touching. He wanted to kiss her, yet waited for her to signal that she was ready for it and wanted it as much as he did.

Amirah had never felt such yearning and need for a man as she now felt for Ronon. Tentatively, she reached out her hand and caressed the side of his face, allowing her fingers to stray to his lips and gently brush against them, tracing their fullness.

Ronon gently kissed her fingers as they brushed over his lips, taking her caress as the signal he had been waiting for. He captured her hand and gently sucked on each finger.

Ripples of pleasure shot through Amirah, her nipples were immediately erect and aching when he sucked on her first finger, and by the last, she was drawing ragged breaths. She felt weak and energized at the same time knowing that this was just the beginning of her liberation from fear and distrust, just the beginning of her discovery of Haven.

Ronon next took Amirah's hand and placed it around his shoulders, effectively bringing her even closer so that his lips could intimately caress hers.

His first kiss was so light and feathery that Amirah thought she had imagined it. At least until he applied more pressure. She realized he was giving her time to adjust and still her fears.

Frustrated, and wanting him to stop treating her like she'd break, Amirah grabbed him by his long locks and pulled him deeper into the kiss. She was confused by the tumultuous emotions she was experiencing, and afraid she'd let the fears of the past two years enslave her once more. As if understanding her urgency, his soft, full lips parted and completely covered hers. He plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, where he used it to caress hers and calm her fears. He made it impossible for her to think of anything else but how much she wanted to make love to him.

Amirah could not suppress her moans of pleasure as she returned the passionate onslaught in equal measure. She loved the way he was kissing her lips and her fertile imagination conjured images of him planting moist, passionate kisses all over her body in exactly the same way.