I don't own Digimon Frontier
Two Sides of a Coing
Chapter 21 – Father-Son Conversations
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He blinked as once again tears filled his eyes. He knew not what was worse - the truth or the lies.
He used to think he had it all made, all figured out. He was to grow to be king, marry for the sake of the kingdom, and never know things could've been different. Now, however, was like waking from a dream.
He had a father. He had a mother, and another step one. He discovered so when he left the castle, wondering into a world he was not supposed to ever knew existed. What more, he met his own reflection, a reflection which proved to be far more than just a visual shadow of himself.
He was, in fact, Kouichi's own flesh and blood, some would dare even say, part of his own soul.
His sibling.
His own younger twin brother.
And it all made perfect sense. The looks, the voice, the eyes… they did, after all, have the same mother and father…
"My, you look in quite a horrible shape, boy."
Kousei said, kneeling next to Arbor. Kouichi looked at the other boy in need of a distraction, and saw that indeed the young soldier looked rather worn out.
"Did you run all the way from the castle over?"
That as though woke the boy up.
"That's right!"
He yelled, suddenly jumping to his feet.
"The castle! It's horrible! It's…"
"The same as here?"
Kousei asked, oddly calm. Arbor blinked before nodding.
"Only it's worse! Everyone there…"
"Disappeared?"
Again, with calmness.
"Yes!"
"What about Takuya? And Kouji!"
Junpei asked, suddenly aware of exactly how close to home the entire matter was. Arbor shook his head, a solemn look on his face.
"Takuya and I got separated. I don't know what happened to him."
"And Kouji?"
Kouichi asked, even though he felt growingly numb. A part of him knew it wasn't shock; he was having a bad premonition…
"I… don't know, your highness."
He said, face turned away. Kouichi nodded, having no other means of response.
"Well then, there's only one thing left to do."
Kousei said, dropping down on the floor where he stood.
"Your excellency!"
Arbor shrieked, Junpei for once agreeting.
"You're in no condition to fight."
Kousei said, pointing at Arbor. Then he pointed at Junpei.
"Junpei and I are too distracted to properly cast a spell on my wife, making at least me unable to move for her sake. And my first born son…"
Kouichi's eyes were aimed at his feet quite determinedly.
"… needs some time to digest the information. We go now, we'll only increase the body count."
"But…"
"They won't kill anyone."
The man continued with confidence.
"It's not the way they operate, to kill so quickly."
"'They'?"
"The demons."
Kouichi completed for him, earning him a nod from the man.
"Relax. Rest. You're of no use to anyone dead."
And that was that.
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It took him a while, but eventually Kouichi mastered the courage to approach the man who turned out to be his father. Of course, the fact both Arbor and Junpei was apparently asleep helped.
"You knew."
He stated, standing over the man, still on the ground.
"About the demons…"
He made eye contact. Kouichi forced himself not to look away.
"… or about you?"
"Both."
Kousei nodded, acting oblivious to Kouichi's attempt to half change the subjects.
"The castle was rotten enough as it was. A demon'd have to be insane, blind, and extremely full… or dead… to pass out such a feeding ground. They ate at the people there slowly, taking their times. Since one of them gave me a visit a while ago…"
"The Jester…"
Kousei appropriately ignored that comment.
"… I figured your brother and mother were still safe. Which meant, they met ressitence. Demons get angry pretty quickly. They were probably pissed off they couldn't just eat everyone, so they took a more… aggressive approach to things."
"And me?"
Kousei looked at him again, his face and eyes unreadable.
"Too many scars missing, too few swear words."
He chuckled. Kouichi remained looking stern and sealed.
"Your sword was the most obvious give away, though."
Kouichi nodded absentmindedly.
"Blue's Kouji's favorite color. He loves that sword. He'd never change a thing about it, especially not the color which he loves on its own."
"It's just a sword…"
"From his biological mother, kept by his current mother, taught to him by his father."
Kousei paused, knowing Kouichi knew the words but not the meaning.
"Changing anything about that sword would mean changing his very soul."
"And all the clues led to the only possible option?"
He nodded.
"Why didn't you say anything then?"
Kouichi asked, frowning.
"What, and keep Kouji from seeing his mother and all the people he never had the change to meet? Despite what I just said, there are good people in the castle. You having remained the kind hearted youth that you are proves that."
The boy's cheeks turned a shade rosier, even though he had to doubt it. Having known real kindness, he found it difficult to fish out those his father spoke of from those who were only nice to his title.
"Is that why you left… or the reason you stayed as long as you did?"
Kousei chuckled.
"Finally talking about what we came here to talk about, eh, boy?"
"Answer the question."
"Another reason why I haven't told about you was…"
He sat up a bit, smiling against Kouichi's curiosity at changing the subject.
"…I also…wanted to see the son I never knew."
"Answer. The. Question."
Kouichi hissed through clenched teeth, though his cheeks stood as a testament to him not really being unmoved by his father's words.
"I wouldn't have left had I had the choice, Kouichi. I loved your mother…"
"But not anymore…"
"AND EVEN NOW…"
Kousei said loudly, giving Kouichi a stern look as he rose to his feet.
"I care deeply for her. She is a person most dear to me."
"But not like she used to be, huh?"
"I have a new wife now. I'm happy with her and my current lifestyle. Though it pains me to have left my first wife and child the way I did, I can't regret living with my second wife and child the way I do."
"You could've stayed…"
"You could've left earlier."
They locked eyes, and Kouichi took a step back. Kousei was becoming growingly alianeted.
"The court was crumbling in on itself. Too many masks were broken, revealing ugly faces. I came back from a bloody war to find no respite in what I then liked to think of as 'home'. For the sake of my pregnant wife I remained, but there is only so much a man can take. We resented each other, your mother and I. Had I remained longer, we'd have hated each other's very essences. It hurt, to leave you all behind, but I prefer this pain to the regret I'd have felt had I been unable to look in the face of the mother of my children!"
Kousei finished, his voice well on its way to a shout. Kouichi winced. He so deeply regretted ever approaching the man, but it was far too late by then.
"I couldn't bear taking both of you with me, even though I knew the future ahead of you."
"Why not?"
Kouichi hesitated, the man's pause giving him more strength as it carried on.
"Why not! Couldn't have looked mother in the eye… how could you look yourself in the eye! You abandoned one of the two sons you claim to have suffered so much for!"
"Tomoko…"
At his mother's given name, Kouichi gasped.
"… she probably would've died of loneliness and a broken heart."
The boy looked away shamefully.
"And what about you?"
"Eh?"
Kouichi blinked as Kousei hid his eyes behind his glasses, an air of mischief and cruelty to him.
"Why did you leave?"
He scratched the back of his head. Why did he, really…
"I just… I thought out here, I could find help against the jester…"
"Only you got distracted?"
Kouichi's face instantly hardened.
"Or was it…"
Kousei tilted his head, his eyes completely unseenable.
"… you were afraid."
The boy's face now went completely blank.
"Little Kouichi, unable to do a thing, helpless as he watches a mere child eat the souls of all around him. And he can't even lift a sword…"
He was pinned to the wall before he could even blink. Kouichi was holding him by the neck of the shirt, his eyes clouded with rage. Kousei met that look with a smile.
"Farm work… has done you good…"
"Don't talk about me like you know me!"
He screamed, his body shaking with anger.
"Because you don't! You didn't damn well want to! You left me behind, remember? Do you, "father"!"
The man said nothing in return.
"Wanted to see me! With your magic you could've, even without your status, which would've let you into the castle just like that! But you didn't want to, did you, Serafi!"
The man's face twisted with a touch of sadness at being called so by his own son.
"The greatest knight in the kingdom… is nothing more than a weak old man! Can you even imagine what it was like for me, father! What it was like growing up to the reality someone walked out of my life before I could even call out his name! How did it feel out here, father? With your perfect son and your perfect second wife and you perfect shop and your damned perfect life!"
His voice cracked as the shakings became harder.
"I… I just wanted you to, to hold me, just once… to look at me… as a… as a father would…"
His knees began to give way and he held on to the man for dear life until his knuckles turned white.
"I waited… I waited and waited and everyone told me to keep waiting so I did but you never, ever came! For so long, I… I… Mother… Mother never stopped loving you!"
"How is she?"
Kousei asked in a soft warm voice, his hand gently ruffling Kouichi's hair.
"Feeling… a bit better… she doesn't… laugh… around 'him'…"
"I see… thank goodness…"
Blue eyes widened as strong arms went around him, pulling the boy close.
"I was afraid I'd lose either of you… and it wouldn't have been anyone's fault but mine… so afraid…"
Being unable to hold the tears back anymore, Kouichi broke down, letting himself be enveloped in the first fatherly hug he ever knew, sadly also one of the few hugs he ever received in his 15 years of living.
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A/N: One day I'll write that prequel idea that's haunting me. But for now, we're approaching the finale R&R, it reminds me I need to finish this xD