Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and everything related is the property of Square Enix. This is a fan work and is not done for any capital compensation.

Chapter 6: Shattered Reality

Tidus stared at himself in the mirror. The locker room was empty, the team having gone up to the stadium to practice over an hour earlier. Voight and Coach Garvin had chosen the eight team members from all the candidates, and had the roster delivered to him at his houseboat in Zanarkand.

Despite the disoriented state of mind that had persisted even after he returned to Tifa, he managed to recognize most of the names on the list. Celia, of course, was on there, which was probably the main reason he had snuck into the stadium during practice and stayed in the locker room alone.

He was afraid. Afraid of seeing her again.

He still hadn't sorted out what happened that night a week before, but he was pretty sure it had all been a dream. Very realistic and downright terrifying, but only a dream. Yet that dream had also made him realize something.

Had he not had the dream, he might have invited her into his room that night. He could have hallucinated and thought she was Yuna, or he could have seen her for who she was and invited her in anyway, if only intending to talk. But would he have done with her what he did in the dream? Even if only in the heat of the moment, would he have abandoned Yuna to satisfy his emptiness with a woman to whom he was attracted, but had only just met?

She had shown up in a quite provocative outfit that she may have intended to be seductive. Thinking back, he feared that she was indeed attracted to him more than she'd let on, and wanted much more than just a kiss.

Before he had gone to Spira, he would have jumped at the chance to get into a relationship, even if only physical, with one with whom he shared a mutual attraction. But now…now that his soul had become linked to Yuna, he couldn't even think of being with anyone but her. Even if it meant waiting his whole life, he would wait for her.

Then why the dream? Was…was it a warning, maybe?

He shook his head. He had to try to put it out of his mind. Right now, he had to head up to the stadium for practice. He had never been late to a practice before, And Voight was probably on the verge of calling out the Army. He just didn't want to face Celia yet,not until he'd had a chance to prepare himself. He wasn't sure if she'd hate him, avoid him, or come to him sympathetically, as if he'd still been under the influence of some anesthetic from the hospital. Hell, as far as I know, that could have been the truth.

But he knew one thing. He couldn't let himself slip again. He had to remember Yuna, and the fact that she wasn't really here. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted, and had to stay alert so he could see through any more delusions. Even if that meant turning Celia away and breaking her heart, he wouldn't dare betray Yuna, pr himself like that again.

With a heavy sigh, he turned toward the door and headed out of the locker room. Summoning up all his skills, he was able to, at least on the surface, calm himself and regain his usual confident, cheerful facade.

No sooner did he enter the sphere chamber than the dozens of fans watching the practice turned to him and begin cheering, ignoring the other players already in the sphere.

VVVVV

Tidus dodged the defender's blow, channeling all his concentration into making a quick dash toward the goal. The opposing defenders swam wildly to catch up with him. While they were Tidus' teammates, each knew that if they could beat the great Tidus in practice, they could become the next superstar of the Zanarkand Vibes. However, none were able to match Tidus' sudden burst of speed.

As he charged toward the goal, he suddenly came to a stop, as if the water had frozen into ice. The stop shocked so much that he nearly exhaled, but his years of mental conditioning helped him keep the needed air in his lungs.

"You shouldn't be worrying so much, you know. You'll be fine."

Tidus spun around instinctively, at the same time realizing he was free to move again. There, as if standing in the middle of the water, was the fayth child. Tidus looked around and saw all the other players had stopped, frozen in time.

You? What the hell? He gestured wildly to the fayth.

The fayth simply smiled and asked, "What?"

Dammit! What the hell is going on? Tidus again gestured angrily, doing his best to silently demand an answer.

Again, the fayth asked, "Speak up, I can't hear you."

Tidus growled, and then shouted, "What the hell are you doing here?" It took him a second, but it dawned on him that he'd just shouted in the open water, and it sounded like he'd done so in the air. He opened his mouth and took in a shallow test breath.

He was floating in air! Taking in a breath, he asked, "Well? You gonna answer me? What have you been doing to me?"

"'Doing to you?'"

"Yeah! Like when I saw Yuna last night, but it ended up being Celia! And then, afterward…it was like it never happened!"

The fayth's head bobbed slightly. "What makes you think I've done anything to you? Well, except for this." He gestured around him. "I said I'd be back when you needed me."

Tidus shook his head. "I don't need you. I just need to get my life back on track."

"You have doubts."

"Hell yes I have doubts!" Tidus swung his arm angrily again. "Here I am, back in my real time, where I really lived. But I keep seeing stuff from Spira and…and…"

"And you think it might have all been a dream." The fayth floated up so he was eye level with Tidus.

"Yeah," Tidus replied, his head hung to his chest.

"But you're the dream."

"Not anymore," Tidus said. "Somehow, I made it back in time, and I'm in the real world. But I…I don't want to be here without Yuna."

The fayth chuckled slightly. Tidus looked at him with a mixture of confusion and irritation. The fayth then said in a suddenly grave voice, "What if I told you that you never really existed?"

Tidus shook his head. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You were always a dream. You never really lived, until I dreamed of you. You need to know that."

Tidus jaw dropped. "W-what? What do you mean?"

The fayth made no reply. He just floated there, staring at Tidus from underneath his hooded cloak.

"Hey, I'm asking you a question! What are you talking about! Hey, answer me!"

Tidus drew in a breath to continue his tirade at the suddenly tight-lipped child, but the air was much thicker than he expected. It burned his throat and nose as it filled him.

Tidus realized with horror, just before he began to grow lightheaded, that he had drowned himself.

As he made that discovery, the blocker that had been directly behind him, and was now right in front of him, slammed into him with full force. The water was expelled from Tidus' lungs, but with no air to replace it, he instinctively dew in another deadly lungful of water. His limbs became very heavy, and he began to feel the world around him slipping away.

As his vision grew dim and blurry, he felt himself being dragged backward. He just barely sensed a sudden coldness wash over his skin before he came to a stop. His eyes were now completely closed, and he hadn't the energy to open them again. He only heard distant echoes whose origin he couldn't even guess in his dwindling state of mind.

He vaguely remembered that he had drowned, and again tried to take air in to his lungs. Nothing happened; his chest felt paralyzed.

I never lived…no, can't be…have to be…real…

He felt something being forced into his chest, and hot liquid came up his throat. He tried another breath, but still could do nothing.

Again, something was forced down into his chest. Using the last of his strength, he assisted in expelling the fluid from his lungs, feeling more hot liquid rush out of his lungs and over his lips. This time, when the pressure was lifted, he was able to draw in a breath. The world abruptly rushed back toward him.

Shakily, he pushed himself just barely off the ground, coughing up water and gulping down air. Each breath was like the sweetest perfume, invigorating him.

"You okay, Tidus?" asked a voice in front of him, patting his back as he coughed up more water. He looked up, and although his vision was still somewhat blurred, he saw that Celia knelt before him, her eyebrows raised with worry. She looked up past him and ordered, "Get the medics over here!"

Shaking his head, Tidus tried to stand. "No, don't get up," Celia implored, but Tidus waved her off.

"I…I'm okay," he stuttered, his voice almost lost to the phlegm gurgling in his throat. "Did…did you…?" he looked up at Celia as he got to his feet, leaning on someone's arm for support.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Tha…thanks…" he started, before he noticed a small figure behind her. He turned to it, and his eyes opened wide.

The fayth child stood behind her, appearing dispassionate as always. "You," he growled, hacking some mucous from his larynx.

The fayth looked up at him. "M-me?"

"Why…did you…do this?" he demanded, taking an unsteady step toward the child.

"Do…what? I didn't do anything, sir," the fayth said, his voice growing high and squeaky as if with fright.

"Don't…give me that! What did you…mean, I'm …not real?" He reached out and seized the front of the child's robe. Finding a new strength in his anger, he lifted the fayth off the floor. The fayth kicked his feet wildly, but Tidus held him tightly, increasing rage fueling his arms. "I'm…talking to you!" he sputtered wetly.

"Tidus, stop it!"

He saw someone rush at him from behind the child. Without thinking, he stepped to the side and, as the rushing man passed him, he gave a light shove. The man's momentum sent him tumbling down the stands. A pair of wet snapping sounds echoed in the mostly-empty stadium.

"Daddy!" cried the fayth, looking back and forth from Tidus and the fallen man, who had come to a rest against the transparent shield in front of the bottom row of bleachers.

"Now, you little bastard…" Tidus growled at the fayth. Suddenly, he felt several strong arms grab him from behind, yanking his hands from the fayth's robe. Then, before his eyes, the fayth's form evaporated upward as a normal-looking child fell downward onto the floor. The child turned and ran, crying loudly in fear.

"W-wait, he…" Tidus started, before turning back to the people that were holding him back. To his surprise, they were Wakka, Keepa, and Letty. "Hey you guys, how did you…Yuna? No…it's not…" His head was spinning now.

Behind them stood what looked like Yuna, though Tidus kept trying to tell himself that it wasn't really her. Yuna, staring at him with a combination of fright and worry, put a hesitant hand to her chest. "Tidus, it's Celia."

"C-Celia?" he asked. As he said the name, Yuna's image melted away to reveal Celia underneath. The three men holding him likewise changed from the players of the Besaid Aurochs to the players of the Zanarkand Vibes.

He turned back around again, still partially restrained by his teammates' grip. The child was long gone, but two Crusaders were rushing over the bleachers toward the fallen man below. Two more rushed toward him; one held a white box in his hand, and the other a long silver cylinder with a clear face mask attached to one end.

"Crusaders?" Tidus asked. "No, this isn't right." He coughed more phlegm out of his throat, so violently that it spattered down his chin.

"What happened?" asked one of the Crusaders as the team wrestled the now-thrashing Tidus to the floor.

"He drowned," Celia replied from behind him, although Tidus could have sworn it was Yuna's voice. "I performed CPR, but now he's hallucinating. Maybe toxemia?"

"We'll get him to the hospital. He'll be all right." One Crusader attempted to place the facemask over his mouth.

"What about him?" Celia asked, her voice raised. Tidus turned his head toward her, and saw her pointing toward where the other man had fallen.

"Compound femoral fracture and head trauma," replied one of the medics below. "We have to stabilize him. Get a stretcher, stat!"

Tidus shook his head away, still struggling against the three men holding him. "No! Don't…don't do it! Where's the fayth! He can tell you what's going on! Where are you…ah!"

He felt a prick on the side of his neck. He looked in that direction and saw that the other Crusader was pulling away a needle. He felt a tingling warmth wash over his body, but he fought it as long as possible. "No, don't…I have to…find him…he knows…"

"My God, Tidus," he heard Celia say through the fog. "He was just a child. And you…almost killed his…his father…How could you?"

His eyelids grew so heavy he couldn't even think about keeping them open. All feeling left his extremities, and his consciousness was quickly vanishing.

"He's delirious. We'll get him to the hospital right away." He didn't recognize that voice.

"Will he be all right?" That was Celia…he thought…maybe…

"Physically, I think so. But I'd worry more for the man he pushed down." Who is he talking about? I wonder what it means.

Then, before he could even realize it, blackness took him.

VVVVV

The next thing he knew, he was staring up at a ceiling. It was much lower than the ceiling of the stadium, and he heard a rhythmic beeping from his side.

"He's coming around." A figure appeared over his head. It was someone he'd last seen in a dream, and before that, on the deck of an airship a thousand years in the future.

Now, Lulu stood over him, her black lips drawn into a cordial, yet dispassionate, smile. "How are you feeling?"

His throat and mouth were extremely dry, but he managed, "Tired."

Lulu nodded. "The sedative is wearing off. I'm sorry, but the paramedics said you were delirious. Fortunately that young lady acted quickly and performed CPR, so it doesn't look like there was any permanent damage."

"Lulu? Where am I?"

Lulu tilted her head. "You're in Tifa Memorial Hospital. I'm Doctor Merang. I treated you just over a week ago when you had a concussion. Do you remember?"

"Mer…Merang?" Tidus asked. Funny, she looks an awful lot like Lulu. She's even wearing that black dress with all the belts and stuff.

"Yes," Lulu/Merang replied. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I…think so," Tidus replied. "I saw the…fayth in the sphere, and he…he told me I'd never existed. But I know that's not true. The real Zan…arkand was destroyed by…Bevelle, not Sin. And I couldn't be here if I was only a dream." To Tidus it had all made sense, but Lulu/Merang just stared at him.

A moment later, she nodded. "Well, you'll be here for a little while at least. The sedative probably affected your appetite, but would you like some water to drink?"

Water. Though he'd been surrounded by it his whole life, hearing the word now gave him a twinge of fear. He wasn't completely sure why, but he did know that he was thirsty. "Sure."

Lulu/Merang turned around, and a few seconds later she produced a plastic cup. When he tried to reach for it, he found his hand wouldn't come up from the bed. He looked down, and saw that it was strapped down.

"Hey, what gives?" he asked.

"You were…thrashing about a lot before. It's for your own safety." She placed a straw in the cup, brought the straw up to his lips, and after he took a few sips, she took it placed it on the tray table next to his bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes, all right?"

"Wait, aren't you gonna untie me?" Tidus asked, his throat feeling much better.

"I will, I just need to check with the floor manager first. I'll be back."

"Hey…wait!" He grumbled in frustration as Lulu/Merang walked out the door. Looking around, he recognized the hospital at which he had indeed stayed after his battle with the fiends. No, that couldn't have been Lulu. It's just like when I saw Yuna all those times. He sighed. It's another hallucination. I'm going insane.

He couldn't deny it anymore. He'd once heard that an insane person can't know they're insane, but he doubted there was ever anyone going through what he was. If he couldn't tell what was real, especially with that fayth playing with his head, how could he function?

And then that dream. Or was it even a dream? I don't remember ever going to sleep that night.

He shook his head, which was slowly clearing. Why am I here? What is going on with me?

Just then, his door opened. In walked Lulu/Merang, along with a burly-looking orderly and a man in a brown suit with a thin salt-and-pepper moustache.

"Tidus, this is Doctor Kuban," Lulu/Merang introduced. "He's here to talk to you about what happened, and the things you've been seeing."

"Hello there," Kuban said gently, as if he were speaking to a five-year-old. "How are you feeling?"

"Drugged and tied up," Tidus replied with little enthusiasm.

"Can you remove the restraints?" Kuban asked Lulu/Merang. "It'll be all right."

After a hesitation, Lulu/Merang nodded to the orderly, who walked over to Tidus. He undid the arm and leg restraints, all the while keeping a sharp eye on Tidus. Once they were released, he took the restraints away and nodded to Lulu/Merang.

At that moment, a familiar face walked in the door.

Tidus noticed the new entry and, though he wasn't completely relieved, he did feel a bit better.

"Hey, T, how are you feeling?"

Tidus scowled, rubbing his wrists where the restraints had been. "Do you really want an answer to that, Voight?"

"No, I can imagine."

"Then why did you have them put me here with restraints?"

Voight put a hand to his chest. "Hey, I didn't do anything. Didn't they tell you you're under arr…?" He stopped short when Lulu/Merang nudged him with her elbow.

Tidus turned his gaze to Kuban, and then to Lulu/Merang. "Under what?"

"Could I please have a few minutes alone with him?" asked Kuban, ignoring Tidus' question.

Voight started to protest, but Merang put her hand on his arm. After a few moments, she, Voight, and the orderly headed toward the door. Before he stepped out, though, Voight said, "I know you're not crazy, T. But I think you do just need to take some time and rest. Just stay calm, for me? Please?" With that, he vanished through the doorway.

"So," Kuban started, pulling over a chair before Tidus could even process Voight's plea. "I'm sorry about the drugs and the restraints. Paramedics tend to get paranoid sometimes."

Tidus shrugged. "At this point, I just can't worry about it anymore. Maybe I did go crazy or something."

"Now, I wouldn't say that," Kuban said, his voice in a soothing tone. "Don't worry about it. Right now I'd just like to hear what's been bothering you. Do you remember what you did?"

Tidus sighed. I hate it when people talk down to me. "Yeah, I was practicing in the stadium and…and…" And what? He'd decided to skip over the whole conversation with the fayth for now, but when he tried to think beyond it, he drew a complete blank. Maybe I got hit and breathed in some water. "I don't remember. Did I drown? That's happened to me a couple times before, but I never had to go to the hospital."

The doctor nodded. "Well, that's not important right now. Your friends say you've had some things heavy on your mind lately. Would you like to talk to me about them? I'd like to help, if I can."

Tidus knew immediately who his "friends" were. Damn you, Voight. "If I tell you, you're not going to believe me. You'll put me in a psycho ward."

"Oh, that's not how we do things," Kuban replied. "All I want to do is help you."

Right, Tidus thought. But he didn't have enough energy to argue with someone that obviously saw him as some sort of lab test animal. "Ok, then. I've been seeing…this other world. And people I knew in it."

"You knew people from another world? People that don't live in this one?"

"Right," Tidus replied. "I was there after the attack on Zanarkand, but before I woke up under the rubble." Then, he told the entire story of his adventures in Spira, from escaping Zanarkand to jumping from the airship as he began to vanish. Doctor Kuban seemed enthralled by the story, paying rapt attention to every word.

"So that's it," Tidus finished, his head much clearer now. "Ever since then, I've seen Yuna, Wakka, and other people both in my dreams, and sometimes when I'm awake. Hell, Doctor Whatsername looks like Lulu, right down to that black dress and the stuffed toy she's always carrying. Even after I know it's not her, she still looks like Lulu. And then that night last week, oh man." He continued on about the "dream" he had about making love to Yuna, and then waking up with Celia, and then waking up again to find none of it had happened.

"Hmm," Kuban said, scratching his chin. "Do you believe this 'Spira' was real?"

"Of course I do!" Tidus replied, frustrated. "It even seemed more real than this world does."

Kuban nodded. "I can't really offer you an opinion right now. I'm going to go back over my recording and come up with a good analysis of it, and I'll talk to you again tomorrow. Meanwhile, sit tight."

Tidus was surprised the doctor had made a recording, but decided he didn't have the mental energy to complain about. He shook his head. "Not like I have a choice. I'm probably gonna be carted off to the psycho ward now, right?"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Kuban repeated as condescendingly as before. "These kind of things are actually pretty common with people that have suffered severe trauma as you have. Several times recently, if I understand correctly." He stood up. "I'll see you again tomorrow."

As Kuban walked out the door, he was met by Lulu. They had a short conversation that he couldn't hear, and then both stepped back out into the hall, closing the door.

Tidus flopped his head back onto the pillow. He wasn't sure how or why, but all of reality seemed to be crashing about him. Even more frightening, he couldn't even tell if it was reality, or his own mind, that was losing cohesion.

VVVVV

Tidus was back in the stadium, standing in a crowd. Around him he could see a few dozen people, frozen as if the air had suddenly turned to glass. He looked behind him and saw the sphere, the water contained within stopped in mid-slosh.

As he turned back to the people, he noticed them all staring in one direction. He looked for what they were seeing, and when he found it, gasped.

It was him.

Seymour was standing there, his right leg extended. Tidus could see that he had kicked a man square in the jaw, sending his head flying back. Then, he noticed that Seymour's clawed hands were wrapped around the throat of a child, holding him a foot or so off the ground.

"H-hey!" he shouted as he tried to rush to stop the evil Maester. However, he found every muscle below his neck completely frozen. Struggling in vain, he cried, "Let him go, Seymour!"

And then, without warning, his point of view changed. His own hands were now throttling the child now; the boy's face was turning blue. And yet, no matter what he did, he couldn't let go. Instead, he lifted the child up off the ground, unable to stop the evil-sounding chuckling emitting from his mouth, reverberating in the stunned silence. His claws were digging into the child's throat, rivulets of blood trickling down his neck.

"No!" came a male voice. He looked up and saw a man rushing toward him. Without even thinking, he brought his right leg up in a quick, powerful kick. There was a wet crunching sound as his heel connected with the man's jaw, and the man flew end over end down the bleachers, smashed through the protective shield at the bottom row, and plummeted hundreds of feet to what Tidus presumed would be his death.

As if that were not horrible enough, he felt his grin grow wider as he roared with evil laughter.

My God, what have I done? his mind screamed while his body continued choking the final breaths from the child.

VVVVV

Tidus' eyes sprung open, his breath coming in quick bursts. He felt sweat soaking his body and the bedsheets.

His memories were rushing back to him, nearly putting him into cognitive overload. My God, he thought, tears welling in his eyes, I almost killed that man. And what I did to that kid…

He looked around him, using the realization he could muster through his grogginess and intense remorse to determine he wasn't in the stadium, or even in the same hospital room in which he'd fallen asleep.

The ceiling looked like it was covered with pillows. It was splattered with stains of several different colors; he tried his best to not imagine what some of them were.

As he tried to figure out what had happened to him, he realized that he didn't even remember going to sleep in the first place. The last thing he'd remembered was talking to that bearded doctor…

"What the…?" he asked, bringing his head up. He felt a strap across his chest that was limiting his movement. "What the hell? Where am I?"

He checked all around the room, and immediately recognized its distinct differences from his original room. He was surrounded by some kind of cloth curtain, but the voices beyond the curtain told him that the room was much larger than his original one, and was shared with at least four other people.

"Hey! Where the hell am I?" he asked again, hoping for some kind of coherent response. "Somebody answer me!"

"Answer me!" mocked another voice in the room.

"Answer me!" came a second voice, even more mockingly.

"Shut up you crazy idiots!" came yet another voice.

"Everyone, quiet down!" That voice, though loud, was much gentler in tone. A second later, Tidus' curtain opened. In stepped a tall, thin yet muscular man in a white coat with an upturned collar. For an instant, the man reminded him of Auron.

"Who are you? What am I doing here? Why am I strapped to this bed?" Tidus exclaimed a bit more loudly than he had intended.

"Who am I?"

"What am I doing here?"

"I said shut up!"

The man stuck his head out of the curtain, and a moment later the arguments stopped. When he came back in, he wore a disarming, but eerily empty smile. "Sorry, Mr, Tidus, but it's for your own safety. We should be able to take them off soon. As for your other questions…" He pulled up a stool and sat down gently. "I'm Doctor Gram, and you're in the mental health wing of Tifa Memorial Hospital. Doctor Kuban thought it would be best if you were treated here for your post-traumatic stress and induced psychoses."

"My…what?" Tidus shook his head. "I just want to know why I'm in here with all these nutballs!"

Gram's face darkened. "We don't use words like that here." Then his countenance softened again as if it had never changed. "This room is only temporary until we can place you with the appropriate team. Kind of a triage unit for mental injuries."

Tidus had no clue what "triage" meant, but he wasn't particularly interested in learning its definition at this moment. "But I'm not crazy!"

Gram glared at him.

"…uh…I mean, I don't have that poster-automatic thing you were talking about," Tidus corrected, his head quickly clearing. "I just need to get back to the stadium for practice. Can you let me go?"

Gram shook his head. "Doctor Kuban is your primary caretaker here, and he is the only one that can authorize your release."

"Well then get him in here!" In frustration, Tidus pulled on the restraints.

Gram stood up carefully, backing away. "I'm sorry, but he's not available right now." He snapped his fingers. Immediately, two large orderlies entered Tidus' private area, one on each side. One pressed his shoulders down onto the bed while the other unsheathed an autodermic needle.

Tidus mouth fell open when he saw the needle. How many drugs have they been pumping into me? "What…what is that?"

"Something to help you sleep, so you don't hurt yourself," Gram replied. Tidus could have sworn he heard the doctor then say under his breath, "or anyone else."

He gasped. He'd never seen a psych ward before, but just his momentary experience in it convinced him it was as bad as he'd always imagined it to be. And they think I'm crazy enough now to attack them!

He gritted his teeth when he felt the needle pierce the side of his neck. As an almost stinging warmth entered his body, he cursed under his breath. If I had a gil for every needle that's been stuck in me since I got back from Spira…

Then there was nothing. No dream, no feeling, not even awareness. Tidus was out like a light.