Disclaimer: Everything Final Fantasy belongs to Square Enix. This is a fan work, and is not for any material compensation whatsoever.

Chapter 8: Lucidity

"Where should I start?"

Tidus gave a monotone moan, some drool beginning to drip from the corner of his slack mouth.

"Oh, I forgot. You can't very well manage like that, can you? Why don't you use your power?"

I can't talk to cast a spell! Tidus wanted to cry, but instead he emitted a wet gurgle.

"You don't need magic here," the fayth replied, apparently reading his mind. "Just think about what you want."

Think about…? Tidus thought, and this time, his voice gave a close approximation of the words.

"Think about being able to move," the fayth coached.

Tidus sighed internally. He wasn't in the mood for games, but seeing as how he wasn't going anywhere under his own power, he decided to play along. He imagined whatever drug Gram had injected into him dissolving and his mind regaining full control of his body. Despite the intoxicated fog, his mind's eye could see it so vividly that, if he could close his eyes, it would seem real.

He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. "There, you…" He stopped speaking, and opened his mouth wide. He then closed and opened it in quick succession, testing it. It worked like normal. He looked down at his arms (realizing that he could now move his eyes) and gave them experimental tugs. He could move his arms! They didn't even feel numb!

He looked down at his bare toes and wiggled them effortlessly. Then, bracing his back against the wall, he moved his feet underneath him and stood. Strangely enough, he felt as strong and alert as ever. It was as if nothing had happened to him at all.

"How did you…?" he started.

The fayth interrupted, "I didn't do anything. That was you."

Tidus stared at the fayth. Though he distrusted the ghostly child, he felt at his core that he was hearing the truth. He glanced down at the straitjacket, tugging against it a little more.

"Do you want out of that, too? Then get rid of it," the fayth said matter-of-factly.

Tidus closed his eyes and imagined the straitjacket evaporating from his body. He then imagined himself in his regular clothes. When he opened his eyes, he found not only that the straitjacket was gone, but that his regular clothes were on his body, feeling fresh and dry.

He looked back up at the fayth, who was smirking lightly. "How did I…?" Tidus asked.

"You always could. You just weren't aware of it."

Tidus grimaced. "I suppose I could click my heels, say, 'There's no place like home,' and I'd wake up in Spira, right?"

The fayth shrugged. "You could, but I think you'll want to hear what I have to…behind you!"

Tidus spun around to see two large orderlies, neither looking like any Spiran, inside the room. Both were wielding some nasty-looking shock sticks, their tips spitting tongues of painful-looking electricity.

"Take it easy, Mr. Tidus," one said as they approached him. That one raised his stick, preparing to strike.

Tidus took a step back and shouted, "No!" As soon as the words escaped his lips, the two orderlies winked out of existence.

Tidus gasped, and after a moment of shock stepped forward to where the men had been. He waved his hand in the air they'd occupied, but felt nothing. Not even body heat.

"What just happened?" he asked, turning back again to the fayth. "What did I…just do to them? Are they…dead?"

"They never existed," the fayth replied. "You can do with them as you will, even bring them back."

Tidus shook his head. "Wait a second…What's going on? How'd I do all this?"

"You always could, but as I said you haven't been aware of it until just now. I'll explain, but I think you'd like better surroundings." He gestured to the rubber room, which Tidus agreed was indeed not quite the most calming of settings.

"Well, I guess…" Tidus concentrated, screwing his eyes shut. "In Zanarkand, my houseboat. That's plenty far away for me."

In an instant, the rubber walls melted away. Revealed underneath was the homey setting of Tidus' boat, with his Blitzball paraphernalia and mementos strewn about. Slowly, he opened his eyes and drank in the new setting. He tentatively reached over to his sofa and touched it. The faux suede was cool to the touch and very plush. He pushed down on it, and it resisted like he expected a sofa cushion would.

"It's as real as you make it," the fayth commented.

Tidus shook his head. "You keep hinting at stuff, but you don't give me the real story. What the hell's going on?"

"Would you like to sit first?"

"No."

"All right, then," the fayth replied. "When you and I first talked about your existence, I mentioned that you could become the dreamer. Do you remember?"

Tidus nodded. "Good," the fayth continued. "You started out as a dream. My dream, to be exact. Someone I remember watching play Blitzball so many times. He was better than anybody in the sphere. He was good, and he knew it. But he always had time for his fans. I even got to spend some time helping him practice once. That's why I dreamt of you as you are. To honor who he was, instead of who he became."

"Who he became?" Tidus asked, crossing his arms.

"He changed during Bevelle's war with Zanarkand. He was obsessed with…well, that's not important right now; you'll find out sometime soon, I believe."

Tidus rolled his eyes. "You hate giving me a straight answer, don't you? By the way, wasn't it Djose's war?"

The fayth shrugged. "That's a name your mind gave it. I wouldn't worry much about names at this juncture."

"'My mind gave it'? What are you talking about?"

"I'll get there," the fayth replied. "You were the major part I played in our collective dream, the Zanarkand you first knew. No magic, no Summoners, no war. Just a city on the edge of technology where everyone lived a more or less happy life.

"But we weren't happy. We were tired. Exhausted from sleeping, tired of dreaming. Needing to pass on. At the same time, weary of repeatedly lending out our powers to help fight Sin. That is why we sent Jecht out of the dream world into the real one. Just as we gave corporeal status to the Aeons, so did we with Jecht."

"My old man?" Tidus asked, half-sarcastically. "The one who eventually became Sin, you mean?"

The fayth shook his head. "It wasn't supposed to happen that way. He wasn't from Spira. He was tough and intense…"

"You mean bullheaded," Tidus interjected.

"…and was supposed to give a fresh perspective on fighting Sin," the fayth continued, as if Tidus had not spoken at all. "Spira was caught in a downward spiral of death, and was repeatedly only staving off Yu Yevon for another few years while we fayth continued existing, only to lend our powers to the next group of Summoners. It felt as if it would go on forever.

"Jecht was supposed to change all that. We had high hopes, but in the end, he was too afraid to take the chance and go against Sin differently than others had done before. He allowed Yunalesca to change him into a fayth, and as an Aeon he destroyed Sin. Then Yu Yevon possessed him, and the death spiral continued on as it always had."

Tidus crossed his arms and, despite his previous reluctance, sat down on the couch. My old man was supposed to be Spira's savior, and he failed.

"You were our next hope, and possibly our last," the fayth continued. "You became more headstrong and confident as you grew up, just like your counterpart from the real Zanarkand after his father died in a boating accident."

Tidus shook his head. "Wait a second – I thought you said before that there was no real Tidus from the real Zanarkand."

The fayth tilted his head. "I said things that weren't necessarily lies, but they weren't necessarily truths."

Wha…? Tidus thought

"You did indeed have a counterpart in the real Zanarkand, as I said. His name wasn't Tidus, and he didn't turn out like you did. You are a more idealized version of what he could have been."

Tidus nodded lightly, even though he didn't really understand. He felt a growing queasiness in his stomach. He'd known for a while that he was only a fabrication of the fayths' minds, but he'd somehow gained comfort in the idea that he'd once had a real-life counterpart. The child's attempts at comfort weren't dispelling the depression that was starting to fill him.

The fayth continued, "We allowed your friend Auron to pass into and out of the dream world so he could fulfill his promise to Jecht and teach you to be strong. Being a dead and unsent soul, the task of crossing the dream barrier wasn't insurmountable for him. We decided to try again, and hoped that your connection with Jecht might provide a weakness in him you could exploit.

"We wanted to allow Auron to pull you out with him by his own accord, but Yu Yevon was able to use Jecht's ability as a fayth, and your father's knowledge of the dream world, to enter it and attack your Zanarkand. You escaped to Spira when Sin pulled you into its dream self. It was…unexpected, but once you appeared in Spira alive and well, we were sure we could stop worrying, if for a short while."

"So…so…you knew I was going to beat Sin once and for all?"

"We hoped you would," the fayth replied. "We knew the machina from our time might have had enough power, with the help of our Aeons, to take out Sin and draw Yu Yevon itself out into battle." He chuckled darkly. "If you knew more about the Zanarkand-Bevelle war, you'd see the irony of that situation."

"What do you mean?" Tidus asked, his head beginning to spin. If the fayth was trying to give him straight answers, it certainly seemed that the effort was failing.

The fayth gave another small laugh and shook his head. "Not really important right now, and forgive me for rambling. When we were finally sent to the Farplane, you, like the Aeons, vanished because I could no longer sustain your being. Yet you didn't fade out of all existence. I learned that, because you came in contact with the power of Yu Yevon within Sin, you became much more than a dream. Most people know Sin as a creature of death, but it also had the power to give life."

"Give life?"

"Yes. Your father came into contact with it when Yu Yevon absorbed him, and he also became a living being. But he was sent to the Farplane when Yuna sent Sin, as they were one and the same. You, on the other hand, never died. You, therefore, are alive."

"I'm…alive?" Tidus asked, shooting up from the sofa. "But…but…I saw my Dad and Auron in the Farplane! How can I be…?" Tidus shook his head, trying to process all this information.

"Life is more than a body. You became the dreamer," the fayth replied. "You dreamt up a new body for yourself, and a new world in which you have been living ever since." He spread his hands out, as if gesturing to everything around him.

Tidus collapsed back onto the sofa, at a loss for words. He looked down at it and ran his hand over the material again. I created this world…? He looked up at the fayth, and then at his coffee table. He imagined a glass of water standing there, and an instant later, a glass appeared filled with water, exactly as he had imagined.

"My God," he breathed. "So…that's why I could use magic, and why my sword appeared that one day when I needed it. And…why I healed so quickly when I kept getting injured."

"Yes. In your dreams, you hold the ultimate power, and since you wanted to heal so badly, you did it quickly. You weren't consciously aware of the dream, so your subconscious mind assumed it was reality and kept you from actively controlling it. Now that you're consciously aware of the dream, though, you are able to mold it at will, much as when you become aware of a normal dream."

"Well, why couldn't you just tell me to begin with, instead of driving me crazy? I wouldn't have had to go through all the accidents and hospital visits and…"

"I tried," the fayth interjected, which silenced Tidus. "I told you several times that you were only dreaming, but from your reactions, it was apparent that you were hearing something different. Your mind wasn't ready to hear it yet, and since this world is entirely composed of your mind, you literally did not hear what I was saying."

Tidus started nodding slowly. "So…that's why you were playing tricks with my head?"

"Yes. You apparently expected me to speak in riddles, and so that is what I did. I figured the best way to get through to you was to plant seeds of doubt. Those, along with your strange dreams, helped your 'living' dream fall apart to the point where you were ready to accept…probably anything I told you."

"I…I've gotcha," Tidus replied, finally feeling as if he were grasping his situation. "So then," he continued, his voice growing lower with concern, "am I stuck here?"

The fayth shook his head. "Not at all. There isn't necessarily a 'here', to be frank. You're in a sort of limbo between Spira and the Farplane. You do have a choice on where to exist, but it is one you can make only once."

Tidus rubbed his temples. This was all too much for him to absorb at one time. "What are my choices?"

The fayth jumped up onto a table and sat down on it, his short legs dangling off the edge. "You may return to Spira, where you may just find your friends waiting for you. You may return to the Farplane with Auron and your father. Or, you can remain in the dream world, molding it as you see fit. You can be very rich, popular with the ladies, and never have to deal with hardship or pain again."

Tidus stood up, staring intently at the fayth. "Wait, you said my friends 'may just be waiting'?"

"A lot more time has passed in Spira than in your world," the fayth replied. "It has been over two years since the destruction of Sin."

Tidus eyes opened so wide he felt as if his eyeballs would fall out of his skull. He shot back up to his feet. "Two years?"

The fayth nodded.

Tidus opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again. He turned away and skulked toward a trophy display. He pretended to examine the trophies he'd earned in his time in Zanarkand, even though he now understood that none of that had really happened. His mind was elsewhere. Two years. Are they all still together? Has she…found someone else?

Then, something else the fayth had said popped into his mind. "You told me I could only choose once. Why?"

The fayth sighed. "Well, though you may dream your own fate, I am your only remaining anchor to that which exists. I don't have much time before I must return to the Farplane, and stay there for the rest of eternity. I used up a large portion of my remaining living strength to find you here originally, and most of the rest of it to keep myself here and watch over you. So, you either choose to use your power to return with me, or I will return alone and you will remain in your own world. You need to choose soon; my extended stay here has drained my strength almost completely."

Tidus didn't even require a second to make his choice. "I want to go back to Spira."

"You are sure?" the fayth asked. "Your friends may no longer be there. Much can happen in two years. You could even stay here, reshape your world to be Spira. It could be like you never left them."

"It wouldn't be real," Tidus replied flatly.

"If you define real as what you see and touch, then it would be as real as you make it."

As he said that, a form appeared before them. It was Celia, smiling happily at Tidus as if none of the recent fiasco had happened.

"Hi, Tidus."

"She's not real," Tidus replied. "My mind made her up. Or was she another person dreamed up by you fayth?"

The fayth tilted his head slightly. "This is your world only. If you didn't know her before you came to Spira, then you imagined her. She can be real to you, though, if you want."

Tidus shook his head emphatically. "I never really wanted her. She's some dream woman that tried to take Yuna's place. I didn't want to let her."

"You did have an…encounter with her."

Tidus frowned angrily at the fayth and threw up his hands in sudden exasperation. "That was an accident! I thought she was Yuna! Besides, it was all in my mind, right? It never really happened!"

The fayth shrugged. "There are those that would say if you imagine doing an act, you are as morally guilty as if you physically commit the act."

"You really enjoy bugging me, don't you?" Tidus asked. As he did so, he turned to Celia. "Go away. You helped me some, but you only made me try to forget Yuna. I don't need you."

Without a word, or even a change in her ebullient expression, Celia vanished.

"I'm just trying to get your mind prepared for the choice you're making," the fayth said. "Don't take it personally."

Tidus turned to face the fayth fully. "I'm going back to Spira. I…I don't care if nobody I knew is there anymore. I…I have to go back."

The fayth let slip the faintest hint of a smile. "Good. Because my being here now is a favor, a granted request for someone that wanted you to return."

Tidus rushed to the fayth, gripping his shoulders tightly. "Is it…is it…Yuna? Is she the one?"

Though he feared the child would give either a cryptic answer, or a flat 'no', the child nodded. "For the past months, she has embarked on a quest across Spira to find you. Most had told her it was hopeless, but she never gave up on you. There were many tribulations for her, some far more difficult than anything she'd ever faced before, but she was alive and well when I left."

Tidus stood up straight. "Well, c'mon! Let's go see her!"

The fayth widely smiled now, hopping off the table. He raised his hand to Tidus. "Take my hand, and imagine the one place in Spira that you would most want to meet her. Hold tight to my hand, and you will make it."

Tidus squeezed his eyes shut. He knew right away where he wanted to be. Besaid. Where he'd first met Wakka, Lulu, and Yuna. It had been the one place that was unspoiled by the ravages of Sin and Yevon. As he gripped tightly to the fayth's hand, he felt as if a great hand had reached into his chest, gripped his heart, and used it as a handle to pull him up and away. Away from his imagination, and toward something he knew was better.

The two of them vanished, and an instant later, the world they had occupied faded into the nothingness from whence it had come.