ASHES OF A DREAM

A/N: I don't own Inuyasha. Just what will Kohaku do with these memories? Emotions are high and tears will fall! A bit of OCC but I can't say anymore or I'll ruin it for you. A very touching and a bit dramatic chapter if I do say so myself...

Thanks to those who read/skimmed through the first two chapters and to Icupcake for having the time to review. I'm grateful. An epilogue for Before You Go will be uploaded next Friday.

"What the mind has forgotten...the heart cannot forget."

Chapter Three: Kohaku's Untimely Decision

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out and then a bright light came from the tree and from the shard. Her body began to glow brightly as she felt herself being pulled into the tree itself. She managed to let out a squeak of a scream before her whole entity was pulled inside.

Kagome opened one eye and then the other. Am I...? I'm here...finally. The dream world opened to me. Kagome thought and floated to a hut that looked somewhat familiar. Then she saw him--Inuyasha! But why is he in his human form? He never likes that during the day time.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed and ran up to him and hugged him. Inuyasha blinked and looked at the girl who looked somewhat like Kikyo. She sighed happily, "Not much for hugs now are you?" she pulled away and took his hand. "We haven't much time. Let's go." she pulled but he wouldn't budged.

"Wait, what's going on?" He questioned. "Where are you taking me?"

"Inuyasha, come on."

"Who are you?"

Kagome looked annoyed now, "Inuyasha, it's me! Kagome, remember?"

"Ka-gome." It seemed it clicked finally. "You're the girl from my drawing, aren't you." he looked fascinated somehow.

"Ye must be aware, Inuyasha may not seem as he is to us. He may lack in memory depending on the holding of the crystal."

"Inuyasha--" The somewhat kind voice paused.

Kagome turned and saw Kikyo--Kikyo? She looks like the woman Kaede called her sister. B-but if that's so, she's the priestess that was said to have died fifty years ago...this doesn't make any sense.

She was able to find her way through the time slip? Kikyo narrowed her eyes, "Leave Inuyasha be."

"What? Never!" Kagome turned to Inuyasha, "This place isn't real Inuyasha! It's made from someone's own imagination. You can't stay here."

"How dare you defile my realm?"

"How dare you keep him in here like a caged animal?"

Kikyo clenched her fists at her side, other than that and her tone, she gave nothing else away. "Surrender him to me and leave."

"I will never surrender, Inuyasha!"

"Do not be foolish. He is mine--"

"He was never yours!" Kagome shouted. Kikyo looked almost hurt. Almost.

I won't leave you. Kagome hugged Inuyasha tightly. "I will not leave him no matter what."

"You have trespassed long enough!" Suddenly the world went black and Inuyasha and Kikyo vanished as did their surroundings. Kagome turned around, "What? Where is...?"

"You ruined everything. First my soul wandered and found home within yours. Then you come into my time, my world and try to destroy what I longed for the most."

"How can you be so cruel to do something like this?" Suddenly Kikyo appeared. "Y-you're dead."

Kikyo smiled wryly. "Indeed I am. Yet I'm quite alive here, in this place."

"But you chose to die fifty years ago and yet you come back, why?"

Naruku... "That in none of your concern."

Kagome frowned. "But don't you know what you're doing?"

Kikyo gave her a look. "Of course. It's very simple. I need Inuyasha. That is why I brought him to my world. And even if I returned him, would he be happy?"

Kagome looked away and whispered, "Do you know Inuyasha? Do you really know his heart and its desires? If so, then you'd know he hates this. It's funny how you lured him here and erased his memory. Yet somehow no matter how much you try, you cannot erase his thoughts about me, can you? And that angers you, doesn't it?" She looked at Kikyo now, "Once I held sympathy for what happened long ago, your pain and suffering, but what you're doing isn't right."

"Do not lecture me on what is right and what is wrong. Inuyasha belongs here with me."

He belongs to no one. All pervious pity gone and the will to have Inuyasha back among the living grew stronger. The words flew out of her mouth with such power that Kagome wondered if she'd spoken them. "Kikyo, do you really think your love is stronger than mine?"

Kikyo didn't answer, instead she narrowed her eyes. "I will hear no more of your nonsense." Kikyo lifted one hand and shouted, "Be gone!"

Kagome began to hover, "What?" then she began to fly away as the darkness grew grayer and Kikyo's form became smaller and smaller. "Inuyasha!"

"—Inuyasha!"

…

Naruku opened his eyes and merely chuckled. "She has thrown that girl back into the world of the living. Interesting."

"She has refused to heed the warning." Kanna said a few feet away.

He looked out the window. "Selfish desires of the flesh, Kikyo." he said and gripped the crystal ball's counterpart in his hands. "Selfish Desires."

…

Jaken felt he couldn't move another inch. Sweat dripped off his green skin and his mouth felt dry. They hadn't stopped to rest in what seemed like hours yet Rin and Lord Sesshoumaru looked fine. Jaken grumbled something underneath his breath.

"L-Lord Sess..." Jaken held himself up with his cane. I'm gonna die if I don't get some water in me. Doesn't he care? He looked at Sesshoumaru, still in deep thought with a small frown on his face. Guess not Jaken grimaced.

Sesshoumaru scowled at the sky above him, where are you hiding now, Naruku? Your scent...it's close...yet it seems ...different.

…

Kagome had managed to break into her world once more. Kikyo couldn't bring herself to even look at her 'other-self'.

"You've come." Kikyo said without glancing up from where she sat. "You are most irritating. Must I send you away, again?" she raised her hand.

"I will keep coming until Inuyasha is free from here." Kagome said. Kikyo stood up. "He's dying in the real world. Don't you even care?"

In actuality, Kikyo didn't seem to mind. "Then he will join me—"

"In a nightmare that is Hell?" Kagome questioned and Kikyo looked for a spilt second like if she'd been slapped.

Kagome stepped closer to her, "You loved him once. I know how you feel, Kikyo—"

"Never! You know nothing about me!"

"And yet it seems I know. If you care enough for him as I hope you still do, you will free him. I've never lied to Inuyasha and presume the same of you. Yet you lie to him now, must you keep him in this illusion of a world and let him waste away?"

Kikyo heard her mother's voice in the back of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't block out the words from the priestess before her.

"They said a prince had found a woman who could sing like an angel. Not wanting to share her with anyone else, he locked her in his private chambers and at night he'd be the only one to hear her."

"As time went on, the woman grew depressed and her songs of light turned into songs of sadness, so great that it brought such a dark feeling to those who heard her tone. Her songs spoke of her desire to become free, and soon she died wanting that. And she got her freedom, yet not the freedom she desired. The freedom to smell the flowers in the fields, the talk with the villagers...a lonely death it was."

"If only the prince hadn't been so selfish and depraved the world of such a wonderful gift. Would he if he had another chance? Perhaps."

Mentally, Kikyo shook her head and pushed those words of "wisdom" in the back of her head.

Damn. I don't need this now. Kikyo grimaced. This was real...or as real as it would be. Besides, she had more important things to do than going down memory lane. Things like ridding of the girl before her.

Kagome stared at Inuyasha who was standing a few feet from them both. "I-Inuyasha, have you forgotten about me? About everyone...?"...About us?

"Yes, he's forgotten you. He doesn't know you."

"I wasn't asking you." Kagome retorted. "And you lie, he hasn't forgotten, deep down." she stood there before him and hugged him once more. Please! Remember me!

"He will not remember. He is refusing to."

You're making him not remember. Kagome retorted.

Other than that, Kagome ignored Kikyo. "I have come for you, from the real world. I've come to save you. You're dying now and I will not let you. You've so much to offer and you never wished for death. Never have you."

Kagome looked at Kikyo. "The past is done with. Please let him go. Must you be so cruel?"

"You think you can challenge me?" Kikyo questioned.

How is it that she's able to come through my time slip? It was made to be--could it be Inuyasha? Has he subconsciously willed her here? Kikyo wondered.

"There is no way you can beat me in my own world." Kikyo sneered, daring the girl to accept the unspoken challenge that hung in the air, thickly between them.

"Stop it."

Both women looked at Inuyasha. "Please, enough of this." He looked at Kagome, "I want you to leave."

"No, not again. Wait." Kagome looked up at him and his face grew dark and began to vanish. "No—please, no! Inuyasha!"

Kikyo sighed and pushed the memory away. He sent her off...I think. But it seemed he was doing it for a whole new reason. To sort things out. I tried in vain to erase the whole event. I fear he will soon discover...

Inuyasha smiled at the children who were picking flowers. He saw Kikyo, sitting peaceful by herself.

"Kikyo?"

She didn't answer him. He walked up to her and heard her speaking more to herself than to anyone specifically.

"Look." Kikyo said softly and pointed to the butterflies

A butterfly landed on her outstretched hand then moved onto her palm. "Our love was much like this butterfly. Beautiful." Kikyo said and closed her hand into a fist. "But easily crushed."

Kikyo opened her hand and revealed the now smothered incest. "Pity."

Confused, Inuyasha watched as Kikyo walked away without another word. He stared at the insect that lay in the grass, dead, and wasn't aware of the calls coming from the children, Urmia and her brother.

Easily crushed...do you truly believe this, Kikyo? And do I?

…

"Finders keepers. Losers weepers." Naruku chuckled.

He knew what was to come. He knew many things indeed. He knew he was being hunted by Sesshoumaru. He knew of Kagrua's betrayal, he could almost smell it in the "winds." He knew there was yet another betrayal looming in the air. Instead of worrying about these tedious notes, he looked at the crystal in his hands.

Ah, yes…soon…

But unknown to Naruku was…that the ball was cracked.

…

(2 Hours Later)

CRASH

Sango grunted and fell onto her back. Blood seeped through her fighting attire and her weapons were both scattered.

Kohaku stood above her with that impassive look upon his face. "You said once you'd wished to die, woman. You wished to kill me and follow soon by killing yourself." He drew Sango's sword. "Well then, I'll just have to grant a part of that wish, won't I?"

"S-Sango..." Miroku tried to call to her. He was weakening now and he could barely even hear his own voice. He crawled on his stomach and knew his efforts were futile.

"Kohaku…please…"

"What are you doing, Kohaku? Kill her! Or do you want those memories back?" Naruku questioned, but he was nowhere in sight.

Blood…lots of blood…f-father… Kohaku felt his heart begin to ache and he nearly wept, "No!"

"Leave him alone, Naruku!" Sango yelled, despite her injuries.

"Shut up!" Kohaku yelled.

"Kohaku..." Sango looked at her younger sibling.

He was close to her, a few inches from her and the sword was right at her throat. "I don't want to hear it." His eyes grew dark and the shard in his back began to give off a dark glow.

"Good," Naruku chuckled.

Kohaku smirked. "Don't take this personally."

Miroku gasped. "No, SANGO!"

Kohaku let out a loud cry of pain and Sango gasped. An arrow! Sango looked back to where it had come from and saw Kagome coming to a halt a few feet away from the trio. "Kagome."

Kagome panted and lowered her bow. She'd purposely missed her mark and only hit Kohaku in his shoulder. That attack must've hit something else other than his shoulder for the boy quickly jumped away from Sango and stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. It seemed afterwards that the young boy decided not to fight, instead he ran.

"Sango! Miroku!" Kagome rushed to their side. "Are you ok?"

"I'll live." Miroku said in a strained voice, "How's Sango?"

"I'm fine, Miroku." Sango sat up and winced.

"Sango. Don't push yourself." Kagome said. "Shippou...Where's Shippou?"

"At the nearby village." Miroku replied.

Damn, that Naruku! That jerk got away. Suddenly, Sango slammed her fist into the ground. "Kohaku got away. I have to...I can't let him escape." Sango retrieved her sword, which was lying next to her.

"You're injured, your wounds, Sango." Kagome said in a concerned tone.

"Sango, we must return to the village before we rush into anything." Miroku insisted.

She ignored them. "No." She stood and let out a low hiss sound. "I'm fine. I must find Kohaku. He's in danger!"

…

"Kagome, you smell kind of nice..."

"I like you as a half-demon, Inuyasha."

The girl, he presumed was Kagome was running towards him, tears running down her face. "Wake up, Inuyasha! Wake up! It's me, Kagome!"

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know you." Inuyasha murmured in his sleep and turned over. And even as he said this, something within deny it.

"But you do!" A large hand grabbed her; the being's face was shadowed by darkness. "Inuyasha, it's me, Kagome! Kagome! Inuyasha!"

"K-Kagome...?"

The being spoke, anger and loathe spilled with every word. "I hate you, girl. Inuyasha's mine!"

"K-K-Kikyo?"

And right then and there the girl was killed, her blood all over.

"KAGOME!" He yelled and sprang forward. His clothes were clinging to him and his vision was blurred for the moment. He gripped his sheets tightly as his heartbeat began to slowly return to normal.

"Inuyasha?" Kikyo questioned and entered the hut. "I heard you scream."

Inuyasha watched Kikyo and something flashed in his brown eyes, something that frightened Kikyo.

"Where were you Kikyo?" His voice came out cold, much colder than he'd intended. She's acting so suspicious. He thought.

"It matters not." She said simply and sat a few feet away. "Tell me of that dream of yours. What was it?"

"Nothing." He looked away from her. It felt so real...It still haunts me.

Kikyo frowned. He's lying. You still don't trust me even when we're in my world. She clenched her fists. Well then, I do not care for it matters not.

She smiled tightly, "Go back to sleep then. It will bother you no more."

She waited until he was sound asleep before she placed a hand onto his forehead and she closed her eyes. Using the crystal she was able to intervene and see into his past dream. She stifled a gasp and knew instantly what was happening. His memories were returning, one or two at the most. Nothing to fear but the figure in the dream she knew well. It was her.

The crystal glowed and Inuyasha groaned in his sleep and rolled onto his stomach. He continued to groan slightly. Kikyo merely watched.

"Forget her, Inuyasha. She is of no importance. Do not forget this though. Fifty years ago, you've loved me then, Inuyasha and you will love me again no matter the cost." She glanced at the crystal. "Soon we'll be together again, in Hell."

"Sit, boy!"

"Sit!"

"She hurt you so. Sitting you like that time and time again." Kikyo said.

"Inuyasha, you're so insensitive!"

"I have to go home! It's very important."

"Here this is for you. It's called Ramen."

"Keh...I wasn't...I wasn't being understanding...I guess I wanted her to stay with me forever...and didn't know how to ask." Inuyasha murmured in his sleep. Taken aback Kikyo removed her hand from his forehead and glared at the crystal angrily. Up until her 'visit' he remembered her not. Why now are these tidbits running through his dreams? I do not understand.

"What the mind has forgotten...the heart cannot forget."

Kikyo narrowed her eyes, "Naruku."

Kikyo stiffened and the 'world' around her vanished into darkness. Naruku and her were the only ones there. "What have you done?"

He merely shrugged at her and ignored the question. "It's quite simple, Kikyo."

"What is?"

"No matter how you try to erase his time with that girl, you simply cannot. Being as stubborn as he is, he refuses to forget...his heart to be exact." He chuckled lightly. "It seems priestess you went through all of this for not. The boy has simply forgotten you in his heart. For another has replaced you. How tragic."

Kikyo stood up and snatched her bow and arrow that resided beside her. "Lies. All of it."

"You really are a pathetic sight." Naruku mused. "She will return again. How long can you withstand her, priestess?"

"I must." And I will.

"You desire to kill Inuyasha this much? Such hatred, Kikyo." He smirked. But do you really think I'd let you kill the half-breed, you, a foolish woman? Ha.

"Leave now."

"As I've said before, we are much alike." The arrow pierced through him and ripped him into two. "So much anger...so much hate...so much alike." Then he vanished.

A puppet. Angered and disappointed, Kikyo collapsed to her knees. "Damn you, Naruku."

…

"Lady Kaede?" Shippou questioned as he helped her apply the herbs to the wounded.

"Yes?" The old woman replied.

"Do you think Kagome and the others are ok? And Inuyasha too?"

"Well...I am sure they are fine. Need not worry, child."

"But I am. What if Inuyasha never remembers us? Kagome's so upset now and I don't like seeing her like that."

"Things will work themselves out. They always do. Have faith, child. In times like these, it's all we can count upon."

…

Sango's sword pierced through another demon. It screamed as it was cut down into small pieces.

"Why are those demons attacking, Kohaku?" Kagome questioned.

"I have no idea." Miroku murmured.

Kohaku got up from where he was lying and Sango gasped, there was blood there! On his shirt and on the grass where he had been. Naruku, you bastard!

Kohaku looked at her again before he ran off.

"Huh—KOHAKU!" Sango cried.

They'd chased him towards an unstable land mass that had a roaring river beneath it.

Kagome grew worried. Kohaku...he looked...

Kohaku stood there, gripping his chest were his own blood was coming from the large gash.

When you're feeling lost in the night.
When you feel your world just ain't right.
Call on me I will be waiting.
Count on me and I will be there.

"Oh Kohaku..." Sango walked hesitantly towards her little brother.

He was wobbling a bit, his face bloody and his vision blurring from time to time. Sango ignored the pain coming from her own body after the brutal fight they'd all encountered. He collapsed before her. The ground around them again shook.

"It's unstable here. We must get safer grounds. This area floods in this time of year." Miroku said, using a tree for support.

Kohaku looked like he was struggling and grunted more to himself. "My legs. I-I can't move them."

"Here...let me--" Sango tried to give Kohaku a hand but he slapped it away, shocking her.

"No, don't give me a way out. I'm merely slowing you done. I will stay here and greet it. There would be no point otherwise; this has gone on long enough."

Anytime the time gets too tough.
Anytime your best ain't enough.
I'll be there to make it better.
I'll be there to protect you. See you through.
I'll be there; there is nothing I won't do.

Sango frowned. It's as if it held a double meaning.

Sango shook her head, "No--never! That's suicide, Kohaku. I will help you. I won't leave you!"

"Don't be foolish." he grunted. "The shard i-in my back," he looked at Kagome. "Take it out, please."

"Kohaku..."Kagome murmured. I-I can't...

He seemed to understand what her eyes were saying. "P-please. You don't have much time...HURRY!"

Miroku said, "Let's not be so rash. There must be another way. Perhaps if we..."

"No. Even if you got me into great health, Naruku won't let me escape. He controls my life—"

"Stop! Don't give into that creep!" Sango exclaimed. "You're stronger than that...so much stronger."

"Your life is your own, not anyone else's." Kagome said softly.

"Kohaku, please...let me help you. I can--"

"Don't you see?" He strained to say. "I want to be free, I fear not death. I embrace it." he seemed to have had seen something else too, just then. "I-I want to see them...mom and dad."

Sango gasped and looked at her dying brother. H-he's remembering...Oh, Kohaku

"Kohaku...Please…" Sango pleaded.

He laid there in a pool of blood. Naruku had him nearly killed after Kohaku had reframed from killing her when he'd had his chance. When the demons sent to kill him hadn't survived the battle, Naruku seemed to have a back up plan. Something in that shard Naruku planted in her brother's body was spreading a poison so great that even Kagome couldn't retrieve it with every attempt she made.

He'll die...All the more reason I will kill that bastard. Sango thought angrily.

"I want to see them. I want to know if they're all right. They want to see me too. I won't have to wonder anymore."

Mom and dad...? Sango's vision got blurred with tears. She shook her head, "Stop talking crazy. You'll be just fine...y-you won't be dying, Kohaku."

"Don't lie to me." He sounded disgusted.

I'm here for you...I'm here forever...
I'll be your fortress, strong and true.
I'll keep you safe and I'll stand beside you.
Put your faith in me and I'll help make it be.

Sango ran her fingers through his hair in the gentle way their mother had done. "I won't allow you to die, Kohaku. You're still so young, you're just a child!"

"But I've grown enough to address my responsibilities."

He's grown up so quickly…his childhood taken from him…Sango thought.

He winced and pulled the shard from his body." I don't have much time. I regret nothing save the lives that I've tarnish." It seemed whatever he was about to say tasted bitter to him. "I blame Naruku no more...but I blame my weakness to have been captured."

"You told me not to lie to you. Will you give me back such a promise?"

Kohaku looked at her for a moment and said nothing. He nodded slowly. He handed her the shard, stood slowly and stepped a few feet away. Suddenly the ground beneath him fell.

"KOHAKU!" three voices shouted.

"Ouf!"

"Nuh..."Kohaku looked up at her in wonder. "Y-you saved me...why? I don't understand."

Sango panted. Never in her entire life had she moved so fast. She ignored the pain in her knees, the aftermath of her sudden dive. Her hair had become undone and her eyes were filled with tears, "Is it so hard to see? I love you, Kohaku. You're all I have left in the world." her voice grew soft. "Please, Kohaku."

He looked at her for the longest of time. And his lips moved into what looked like a small little smile. "I-I love you too, sister." His smile grew a bit wider. "Sister...and...And it doesn't hurt anymore when I say it."

"K-Kohaku." She tried to pull him up but her bruises from the battle before had prevented her. She grunted in pain. I-I'm too weak...my body it's so tried...b-but I can't let Kohaku go now. I won't! I'd never forgive myself. "Everything will be fine, Kohaku. I won't let go, I swear it!"

For you I will...
Lay my life on the line
For you I will fight on hard
For you I will die...

S-she'll hold onto me even if I fall to my death. She'll die with me...for me. He looked up at her. These human emotions are so new to me. Still, it will cause her pain but the pain of me living in this shell of a body will hurt her more.

He looked away. "I'm sorry."

Sango shook her head. "Kohaku." she looked alarmed as she noticed he was trying to loosen her grip on him. "No--"

With every breathe with all my soul...
I give it all...
Put your faith in me

Forgive me. He smiled gently and for a moment Sango relaxed. In that spilt second she saw the brother she'd somehow lost so many months ago. Then he said the words that torn her heart into pieces, "Let go...it's time."

His grip broke and Kohaku went hurtling from the cliff. He closed his eyes and awaited his death. At last it's actually over...I never meant to hurt you...forgive me, Sango...

"K-Kohaku...No! KOHAKU!" Sango looked ready to jump in right after him.

Miroku held Sango back, "Sango, stop!"

"Let go, damn you! He's my brother, I have to—" She stopped fighting back and stopped pounding him in his chest. Soon enough she began to sob and he cradled her.

Kohaku's image in Kanna's mirror was cracked. Kanna waved her hand over the mirror and the image and the crack vanished.

"That stupid fool, what a waste of a shard." Naruku said.

"No matter." He grinned darkly and said. "It's almost time for me to collect my prize." He vanished with a menacing chuckle.

…

"Kohaku..." Kagome stared at the shard.

He gave up his life... She looked up and saw Sango, who wobbled a bit, her brown eyes shimmering with forming tears...and left those behind to mourn his courage. Poor Sango...

K-Kohaku...I-I can't believe your gone. I keep seeing your face...smiling up at me. I-you...why? "He desired not to live anymore...he...I..." Sango said, her body shaking with the need to let her tears free. Quickly though, she turned away and stifled her tears once more. Miroku came to her and hugged her close. She instantly stiffened in Miroku's arms. Miroku looked visibly hurt by this but his concern cloaked it. Sango clenched her fists and wanted desperately to cry.

"Let it all out, Sango."

Sango gasped inwardly.

Miroku patted her on the back. "To bottle up such emotions will only get you in the end. He was miserable. We know that, he knew that. He wasn't about to let Naruku win and control him into killing you. He loved you, that he remembered no matter how much Naruku tried to fool him. And for that he was saved as were you."

"But..." She was cut off by his kiss.

After a moment, Miroku broke the kiss but the spell of a moment remained. He looked her in her eyes and murmured. "I will always be here for you, Sango."

Sango stared up at Miroku long enough that her cheeks became bright red with embarrassment. H-He kissed me.

I will not let no harm come your way.
Oh these arms will be your shelter...
No these arms won't let you down.

"Do not act as if you are alone, Sango. You are not. I will be here for you."

"Mi-Miroku..."

Kagome clenched the shard and closed her eyes. This shard feels different. The aura coming from it is like that of Kikyo's realm. This is my only way back to Inuyasha, this shard held the power to give me the ability to stay longer. I will not let your death be in vain, Kohaku. Naruku will die for what he's done to you, Inuyasha and everyone else he's hurt. I will not let such a murder go free. I promise.

Promise you...
Promise you...
I promise you
For you I...
I will...

She stared sadly at the shard. Yet I cannot go to Inuyasha...

Kagome frowned. C-could Kouga be right...? Is it possible that Inuyasha...No, Inuyasha wouldn't...Kouga is wrong. I cannot believe that... She clenched the shard to her chest and the pain vanished and hung her head down. If I did...I'd be lost.

Next Time: Failed Attempt