August 14
Well, Diary. It's been a few days, but that's usually how long I wait until I write something new. You really shouldn't sit there waiting for new news. It's quite disgusting the way you just sit there, waiting. And then waiting some more. I don't know what I shall do with you if you don't shape up.
Mmm. Chili-mac. Such a weird food. But somehow it's so satisfying. I take back anything I said about Luna's cooking. She made this for me, and now I just revel in it. I would never have thought to mix the two substances, but now that I have its just amazing. Who'd have ever thought that two things so different could come together and make something so tasteful?
Here's an update on the Ron-Mione situation. They STILL haven't kissed. Fred and I had them locked in a closet yesterday afternoon, but then Mum came home and threw a bloody fit. Oh well. I think we'll do it again when there's no chance of Mum coming home. Maybe we'll send her and Dad out somewhere. Hmm. I don't know.
Come now Diary, how can you sit there so patiently, knowing that I'm itching to write about the latest drama between the dearest ferret and I. Hmm, maybe the term "drama" doesn't cover it properly. I think it's much more along the lines of a "soap opera" or something. I'm not sure. But I find myself waiting on my toes for his reply. And I'm never sure that he's going to, which is probably what drives me the most mad. But he always does. Sure, usually it's biting insults, but when you're being drove batty by your family and have no outside contacts, insulting each other is a nice release.
So, here was my response to him, Diary:
"My dearest of dear ferrets,
How are you? I can only hope that you aren't well. But usually my luck doesn't agree with me, so I'm sure you are in good health. Drats.
So you did stick up for me, then? You hexed her skirt off pretty well, I might add.
I guess I should apologize for ripping your robes. But I won't. Oh well.
So Blaise likes me then? I assumed he would. Most people do when they get to know me. Too bad you'll never have the chance."
Just like him, I left no signature. I definitely didn't expect a reply within a few hours. But one came anyway.
"Look Weasel, just because I hexed a girls skirt off doesn't mean that I was sticking up for you. Ha. Like I would ever stick up for someone like you. Someone so dirt poor and ugly. Yeah, you heard me. Ugly.
I don't know who I should be more sorry for, you or Blaise. You see, there is a rumour going around in Slytherin about the poor guys' penis size."
And that was it. Can you believe it? I couldn't believe it. I started laughing so hard. I thought I was going to cry. Or maybe pee my pants. Or maybe both.
I let the stupid git wait a day before I wrote him back.
"Well I don't really know what to tell you. I haven't seen his penis, no matter what anyone tells you. Especially him. He must be quite mad in the head, you see. Although of course I'm sure you were sticking up for me. Why wouldn't you? I'm so kind and sweet-natured and just an all around lufly person. You really should admit to it already, before the lying turns your soul and even darker shade of black.
(insert sketch of Malfoy commiting Seppuku)
See, there's a picture of you sacrificing yourself for others. Mainly me. Just like you did when you hexed her skirt off."
And then the prat made me wait a day for his next letter.
I really can't believe how long I sat at that window, just staring, looking for an owl. It was quite pathetic.
"I guess I'd apologize for my lack of response, but you must know by now that I really could care less. I don't know why I'm even continuing on this charade, but I guess I will for now. It passes time, I suppose. And you're a dumb little girl. Yeah. That's why I'm doing it. Because you're a dumb little girl.
Well, my dumb little girl. I did like the interesting rendition you drew of me. It was quite lovely. I think I must hang it on my wall. Yeah, like a slytherin would ever commit such an act for another person. You must be kidding. That's you bloody gryffs over there, you know. The brave ones. I would never kill myself for another being. Never."
And that's been it so far. I know its not too much, but it's been kind of nuts. I haven't replied yet, and it's been a day or so. He's probably sitting, just as I was the other day, waiting for my reply. Hah. I bet.
bye.
authors note: yeah, the bold are her notes and the italicized are his, if you didn't get that. i apologize for any typos..and i know its short, but oh well. i kind of like it. don't worry, the whole diary won't be in letter form. please review!