What Is Wrong With You People?

Walking as quietly and with as little amount pressure on his healing foot (the tingling sensation was just beginning to fade) he got as close to the door as he could. He didn't want to cast a shadow under the door, but didn't want to miss anything mentioned in the conversation. Back against yet another wall he tilted his head towards the door for maximum hearing, quieted his breathing and closed his eyes.

"Really Mr. Lupin, I didn't do a thing to the boy. He says it was his cousin."

"They're scared stiff of us! They'd never raise a hand to him. Really Mad-Eye, you used to be a better liar."

"You stupid werewolf, you're just upset about Black! There's no point in taking your anger out on me! I was there to guard him, not kill 'im!

"Fine, what bloody happened then!"

"Tonks was supposed to be watchin', but she missed it."

"How perfectly convenient."

"ASK POTTER, don't-"

The voice (sounding like Moody and probably was), was cut off by a much more calm voice, one he recognized as Albus Dumbledore. He said "Calm down both of you! I believe Remus, that Harry is being treated downstairs?" The conversation paused. Then "Good, but before we head down I wish to share a thought; please sit down."

Harry leaned eagerly closer to the door; this was getting interesting! But before the enticing conversation could even begin he heard foot steps approaching around the corner. He looked frantically for a quick hiding spot as quietly as he could. It wouldn't do to get caught now. He was positive listening in on conversations was not something done in as top secret organization, and right now it was pretty obvious that's exactly what his business was. Finding nowhere he made due with rushing back to the stairs; a good couple of meters away from the door) and sitting on the top step, forcing himself to look bored. His head rested lazily in his hands just when the owners of the footsteps traveled his hallway. His became back tense and he felt eyes staring at him, accusing him, about to get him kicked back down stairs. The person continued along, getting closer until they paused directly behind him.

"Well well, got bored I suppose? Not enough attention with your maids?" That voice! He could totally hear the sneer on Snape's face. That guy is so creepy!

Right then all Harry knew was that Snape was an enemy who was asking for verbal whiplash. After all the years of outright denial of such statements, he chose a different strategy. Harry momentarily forgot that he was trying to be quiet and got up and stood up straight, trying to appear threatening in some way (being only 5'5 didn't have the desired effect though) and replied evenly "Naturally, I just couldn't wait 'till September to see my slimy git of a teacher." Snape appeared stunned at his retort. That evidently wasn't what he had been expecting. Most likely that was just a straight out no. Just when Snape was opening his mouth to say something assuredly not nice he spoke again, cutting him off "I don't want to keep you, I'm sure you've something important to do. So I guess I'll see you at school. Sir." This was killing him; it took all of his restraint not to burst out laughing. Harry seriously doubted that Snape had ever been dismissed by a student, never mind a most hated Gryffindor.

Sneer firmly in place, Snape just had to have the last word. He said "Correct Mr. Potter. I am a great ally for our side; and you'd do well to remember that Fletcher is - of some benefit to us as well." With that he appeared satisfied with himself and continued his way down the stairs and out of sight, leaving a baffled Harry behind.

By Fletcher he meant Mundungous. But he knew Dung was in the Order and everything, so what was Snape talking about? Passing it off as Snape just being Snape he moved back to the door, cursing himself for taking so long. He could have missed something important! Mentally grumbling to himself, he listened carefully to their voices. Apparently he hadn't been caught, yet.

"Dumbledore" Moody's deeper voice said reasonably "the Potter boy will never agree to something like that. He's famous! Besides, Voldemort will never believe it unless he has proof. And how do you plan to give him that?

"I have always found a body very convincing evidence Alastor. Put a Deatheater in his place. It's not a solution to the war, but it will keep Voldemort from finding and killing Harry." Dumbledore stated.

"I agree with Moody. Harry has friends, he loves Hogwarts. He won't leave all that behind just because you say it's for his own safety. Don't get me wrong, I do want Harry safe. But at what price?" Professor Lupin asked.

"True, it would raise the danger for the general public but Harry is his target. The boy has been through enough."

The conversation paused for a minute, the speakers supposedly in thought. Harry thought it over too. What did they mean? It sounded like they wanted to ship him off to Mexico! Not gunna happen! What was that about, a body, and a Deatheater? Remus at least really understood him; no way in hell was he leaving his home.

Moody spoke up next, his voice loud after the dead silence "One boy's life is not worth that of thousands. I admit Voldemort's got it in for him; but this plan of yours?

Dumbledore argued "He is more important to the war effort than you know. He must be protected at all costs. Speaking of which, Alastor, how is he?"

Smooth. Way to change the topic. Harry thought to himself. Mad-Eye and Remus don't know the prophecy then. Let's keep it that way.

Realization that they might go downstairs to check on him any second made him panicky. Giving up on the eaves dropping, he made to go back downstairs. And he would have made it just fine. Except…

"Hey Potter! You're supposed to be getting medical attention!" Moody's voice rang out. Harry froze. How could he have forgotten? Moody's Magical Whizzing Eyeball! Shit. Now he was shocked that he hadn't been caught earlier. He heard the weight lift off the chairs of couches with a squeak followed by the door opening full swing. A grimace on his face, Harry turned slowly to see Remus first at the door, Dumbledore just behind him and Moody next to Dumbledore. Remus looked extremely amused; which could only be expected as he probably did exactly what he'd just done with the Marauders years ago. Way to bring back memories! Rolling his eyes Remus walked out into the hall a bit hesitant (probably because I gave him the coldest welcome ever, Harry figured) and Harry smiled slightly, relieving the tension. Lupin embraced him in a quick hug and laughing lightly, Remus shooed everyone back into the room. Closing the door behind himself sheepishly he quickly surveyed the room. Small and filled only with three individual couches and a coffee table with (of course) a tea set upon it. Harry guessed that it was probably one of the bedrooms in the Manor; or maybe a closet. Glancing at Dumbledore he watched as a fourth couch was conjured for him and slumped into it. When everyone else present sat down hands on knees and proper Harry suddenly feeling like a teenage punk; hiding his nervousness he sat up and looked questioningly at each wizard.

He really couldn't believe it. Dumbledore was being manipulative again! Was he even going to tell him about his "plans" or just scold him for his rudeness and misbehavior?

Once everyone was settled and had tea in front of them all eyes turned to Harry. He struggled to look mature but that was a hard thing to do with Moody and Dumbledore staring at you. Professor Lupin (or Remus/ Moony as he'd come to call him after Siris left) was trying to be encouraging, he knew. Dumbledore started what he would soon come to think of as an interrogation by asking politely "Were you hurt? I trust Poppy fixed you up."

He answered, the way he always did to that question "I'm fine."

This didn't seem to satisfy anyone though so Remus added "he had a broken leg last I checked. A good one too. Are, you ok?" Remus's eyes were concerned, but Mad-Eye was another story. He stood up sharply knocking the table slightly at pronounced "Ha! I knew it! Which Deatheater? Just give me a name boy."

Unfortunately this seemed to rekindle the previous argument the two men were having as Remus stood and shouted "what do you mean you knew it! You just spent the last half hour telling me that's EXACTLY what didn't happen!

Not wanting to have to be responsible for somebody's visit to St Mungos Harry quickly decided that he had better end the argument. So he to stood up (minding the coffee table) and cutting off Moody's reply stated "Shut up! There were no Deatheaters! Merlin!" sighing heavily he fell back into his seat, not caring that he had immediately ruined his plan to look mature. "None at all." Glancing up he saw that everyone was once again seated so he continued knowing that if he didn't they'd pry it out of him anyway. "I had a fight with Dudley. Sum up? He got chucked out the bay window."

Sitting back down he watched everyone's reactions; most were expected. Dumbledore's brows met each other as he formed the dreaded disappointment face and Remus looked a bit shocked but, Moody was a little…off. He exclaimed loudly "Atta boy! Constant Vigilance! Disposed of the threat as fast as possible!" I stared at him for a second, still astonished by his utter fruitiness. Yaaaaa, I thought to myself, a little of his rocker.

Mad-Eye would have gone on but Dumbledore cut him off rudely asking "Accidental magic? Poppy deemed you healthy already then? I nodded my head slightly indicating yes and maybe and little duh; hiding my guilt. Just a little lie after all. Mme Pomphrey never actually let me leave, but im sure they'll hear about that later anyway. He went on now in full control of the conversation asking for more details of the story. I reluctantly answered "Dudley was egging me on, so I punched him, then he attacked me, and before he could even scratch me he was on the front lawn.'

I let them fill in the blanks, a little agitated and embarrassed by having to spell it out for them. Dumbledore seemed to understand as well as Remus but, of course, Moody didn't. He asked instead pausing at every second word "but why, did he, attack YOU? I mean-aren't they, scared we'll, turn them into frogs?" the man seemed genuinely confused. It was actually kind of funny, in a way. I have no idea why but I offered my example "or turn their lawn purple?" That comment seemed to bring Moody back to earth as he looked at me incredulously and asked "If the incident earlier was just a family fight why didn't you say so from the start; would have made my job easier!"

This was the most embarrassing part in my opinion. I'm sure I was blushing when I replied "Tonks silenced me. I couldn't talk."

At this Remus and Moody started laughing making the whole mess even worse. Ouch. Moody then calmed down enough to ask "I'm gunna have to talk to her about that. You just don't curse the victim. But if you were cursed, how did you tell Tonks to counter it? We all heard you two chatting."

I replied defensively "It was hard, but I think I was breaking it anyway. Hahaha, if I didn't speak up soon, I seriously thought she would leave me cursed forever."

Dumbledore, who had been strangely silent, asked sharply "Harry, you couldn't have. That's, just not possible. Nymphadora used the silencio charm correct? It freezes your vocal cords completely. You'd have to be either very, very loud, or resistant to magic. For example, I once knew a griffin that could repel magic from itself. Given it wasn't all that reliable; in the end the creature hit a tree in mid flight because he was so busy with his shield. Or the dragon; a very resistant beast. There was this one time"-

I really couldn't wait for him to stop rambling. I could use an update on wizarding events you know! So I bravely cut him off (mid sentence too!) requested "Sir! Can I ask something?"

Moody answered for him stating "Just did didn't ya boy? Not to bright a question either."

"Mad-Eye! He was being polite. Just give it a rest." Remus supplied.

I was really getting a vibe from those two. Nothing to do with divination for the record! Just, they were always at each others throats. Were they always like that? They seemed civil enough at the train station at the end of the year. Perhaps something had happened. I felt like I was going to burst from all the frustration I was keeping in. A broken leg, unwanted help and constant fighting all in one day was really starting to get to me. Despite the fact that it was still early, maybe lunch by then, it really felt like late night or something.

Thankfully Dumbledore decided to join the conversation again right then. He broke up the quarrel effectively by asking loudly "What is it Harry?"

Finally. Anyway I asked as politely as possible "What's Voldemort been doing? I mean, I haven't heard of anything, I haven't been watching muggle news this year lately. Is fudge still in office?

I swear I heard Remus mutter something like "should have known" but I could be wrong. I immediately forgot about that however, when Dumbledore answered "It's not looking good Harry. Since Fudge's public announcement of Voldemort's return, or perhaps simply after the Ministy battle, there have been many cases wherein Deatheaters unknown attack a home, apparently at random. You can guess the outcome of that."

He paused for a moment, perhaps deciding how much to tell me, what to hide or make up, but it gave a second to visualize my new information. A green skull hovering over houses and you know the occupants are dead. In most cases their valuables were probably taken too. Damn. It wasn't hard to imagine at all. Since the Department of Mysteries, of course he would become more active. Especially after everyone knew he was back. No point in hiding!

Dumbledore continued "Not just ransacking homes Harry. He's destroyed a few muggle daycares, and a casino or two. We don't know how he's succeeding with his army. Only that he has succeeded in winning over the giants, for now. And it's only days before the Dementors desert Azkaban and he regains all his Deatheaters. We are pushing Fudge to relocate the prisoners, with little success. He is searching openly for you and is closer than I would like in succeeding, we do not wish to have to test the wards on the house."

Remus added in an attempt to be comforting "It could be worse Harry; at least now we how the public's co-operation. You even got fan mail!" And if he thought that would cheer me up, he really didn't know me very well. Ron would turn green with envy when he found out, and people would want my photo ALL the time.

Dumbledore went on "I believe we should move you somewhere else for the summer. Hidden and protected. You understand?" Dumbledore was waiting for me to answer. He was referring to the prophecy. I was more important than thousands of innocent lives and from the sounds of things; my relatives' home wasn't secure enough. But it didn't sound like I was staying here, for that I was grateful. That would have made for one depressing summer.

Shaking my head to clear it I replied sullenly with a simple "ya" and asked my question again "Is Fudge still in office though?" I just couldn't see the wizarding community of Britain allowing it, after keeping such information from them. Wow, I'd be pissed off.

Unfortunately he was. As it turns out, the government doesn't work that way. The only way to chuck Fudge would be if the Wizengamot, had a unanimous vote to overthrow him, he was assassinated, or if he stepped down himself; the second being the most likely in my opinion. As Remus explained, that was politics, and not fair play. There were few things left to deal out though. Like, where was I staying over summer then? And more importantly, what were they talking about before.

Dumbledore poured more tea for everyone with a wave of his wand; the kettle filled each cup like an invisible hand was holding it up. Next he cast a silencing charm on the only door; nobody would be eavesdropping. Magic not uncommon to wizards but I was riveted to it. Perhaps it was simply because I was tired or magically deprived all summer, but I found it more fascinating, as if I was seeing it for the first time. Is that weird? Magic, I decided was the number one wonder of the universe. The moment soon passed and I was left with a smile on my face and a cup full of tea.

Dumbledore was talking again, but he was kinda boring. Sipping the tea only made me more tired, so I resolutely put it down and sat up straight. This was the conversation I'd been dying to hear after all.

"Harry what do you think of that? It is for the best you know." Dumbledore said, immediately waking me up.

"What? Sorry, I wasn't listening sir." I admitted lamely. This turned out to be a good thing. Dumbledore impatiently summed it up; instead of my having to listen to him go on and on, as he did. I didn't use to find that annoying, but then, we never had long winded conversations before. He was avoiding something; he didn't have to talk about Griffins after all! Anyway, what he said was this "I need to keep you close to Hogwarts, but not actually in Hogwarts. Voldemort could find out you were there and that would ruin everything! So what we decided was this, albeit, with much argument, that you shall stay with Alastor, in Hogsmeade. Nobody knows that's where he lives yet." Turning to Moody he asked "You're renting it, I believe?"

Mad-Eye answered as though Dumbledore has seriously insulted him, maybe spat on him for example. "Of course I'm renting! Can't have them enemies knowing where I live all the time can I? That'd be askin' for someone to apparate over one afternoon and blast me to Timbuktu!"

"Me; stay at Professor Moody's! Are you joking? That's, not right. Can't I stay with Moony or something?" Ooops, that didn't come out right. Turning to Moody I sat a little further in my seat and apologized profusely "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry sir. I didn't mean…. Erm…. It's just…. I know him better and…. What?" I had just noticed that Remus was grinning widely at me and on a side note: Moody was taking the apology rather well (he seemed to like it when students begged for forgiveness, even if he/she in question never actually was taught by him).

Dumbledore who was trying not to laugh said "Remus lives in an apartment in London; and for that matter, where do you suppose will be the first place Voldemort will look for you? Remus may visit, but you will stay with Alastor. He has already agreed to it. The place is big enough, but none must know you are there. You may leave tomorrow, after the place is arranged. You will go under cover as Remus's relative; it is well know that werewolves may not share a home, for safety reasons. It will make sense that you live with a friend of his. Please, make up a name for yourself and we'll talk about changing your appearance in a bit. Have any questions?"

I was shocked. He wanted me to what! Wouldn't my last name be Lupin? Anyway, so this is what they were talking about. A Deatheater would stay at my relatives though? Somehow I think I misinterpreted that bit. I could ask about that right? "Sir? What were you talking about before I came in? A Deatheater is to take my place? I hardly think my Aunt would like that."

Dumbledore provided readily "Don't worry about that Harry, we'll figure something out; perhaps an order member instead. Regardless, I am ready for some lunch. From the smell downstairs, I would say Molly is about done making it."

"Ron's here?" I asked sharply. I hoped he was as I wouldn't mind hanging out with him. Even in Grimmauld Place. But things never are easy for me, Ron wasn't there.

He waved away the tea set, undid the silence charm and we all exited the room, myself right behind Mad-Eye. Was it a good thing that I got into trouble; would I have a better time at Moody's? The whole idea just scared me; the guy had after all attempted to kill me. That, for anyone who cares, leaves an impression on you. I know it wasn't him but, really, it's hard to get over. As it was, I wasn't looking forward to spending any time with him.

We had just walked out the door when I noticed a chain hanging out of Moody's pocket. Looking up to see if anyone else had noticed I saw that Remus and Dumbledore were up ahead and making a split second decision I whipped my hand out, grabbed the chain in a swift upward movement pulled the article out and stuffed it into my pocket. I suppose I was curious and a little mad at Moody, I have never taken anything like that. Oh, except that watch I have that I broke in the lake during the tournament. I don't know why I still wore after that, anyway I had taken it out of a cheap department store when I was 9 because I really needed one. Honestly, I was always late for school. Praying that Moody hadn't seen me with his magical eyeball I continued down the hall without missing a beat.

I was positive that I had gotten away with it, I felt a little excited and alive and proud of myself even, until I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder that said gruffly, "Oh, we are in trouble."

A/N

Can you guess who's behind Harry? I don't think you can; but do try.