End of the Longest Day of My Life

What the fuck? Filch shouldn't be here! I whipped around and came face to face with Fred… or George. Not really sure. In any case I had to ask "What are you doing?"

Weasley twin anonymous was busy laughing to answer immediately and instead waved energetically at the company behind me and said "Don't worry, I won't kill our Harry. He'll be down in a minute."

Looking behind me about to beg Remus to help get rid of Fred/George I realized that that wasn't going to happen. Remus was grinning broadly and stated "Fine, just don't make him test subject for anything permanent." Seeing the scared expression on my face he added "I see nothing wrong with a good prank. I must say, we could use a bit of cheering up."

Dumbledore added with laughter in his voice "Don't take to long Harry. Lunch will go cold." And with that they turned and left me in the hallway with a Weasley twin looking for someone to test a joke out on. I started to follow them down the stairs but the twin yanked my arm and pulled in the opposite direction down the hallway to a completely normal looking door, which Fred/George held open, urging me inside. Eyeing it suspiciously for booby traps I went in, positive there would be a bucket of cold water waiting for me, or something of that fashion. Course, as I learned later, the twins never did anything expected.

The room was a disaster area. If you've over seen a city after a tornado, you'd think it was spotless compared to this mess. Everything was a big or little fuzzy blob of assorted colours. There were six desks (kidnapped from Hogwarts no doubt) that were pushed together and served as a working area. It was littered with potion ingredients and a few cauldrons were bubbling, a random product wrapper here and there and a very large portion of the room was taken up with things they were selling or planning to sell. Then a pile of clothing actually stood up and said hello!

Question directed at the twin behind me I asked "Ummmm Fred?"

"Nope, not me." the pile said, and would have scared me shitless if I didn't recognize the voice. The other Weasley twin! "Nice try though. What are you doing here? Last I heard you were stuck there for another week yet."

Fred, who was the one that led me into the room walked over next to George and added "Good question."

"Did you blow up your aunt again?"

"Although that was very funny"-

"Yes, the good old days eh?"

"You'll have to explain to us one day"-

"How you did it!"

"And how you nobbled Moody without our help!"

Oh shit! Fred saw that… ooops. I quickly made to leave the situation stating very quickly "I'mgunnabelateforlunch. See you later!" and headed for the exit.

"Whoa, slow down there pal. I won't tell" Fred supplied before I could open the door.

"So, you did then! Harry, I'm shocked at you." George scolded, his voice an octave higher than usual. "Always the rebel that one; what'd you steal?"

"Wait, you're not going to tell Mad-Eye? Cause, if you did, that'd probably be the last time you saw me in one piece."

"Never! What you did was art!" Fred replied indignantly. "Could brush up on your technique though..."

"Harrykinns, you pick pocketed THE Mad-Eye!" George stated, and they proceeded to bow deeply to me in mock admiration, or maybe sincere, can't really be sure with them. In any case, before they stood up again, I was well out of the room, probably half way down the stairs in fact, as that's when I heard a very loud set of identical twins yell loudly "Heeyyy!"

Lunch was not a fun affair, I ate across from Moody and next to Dumbledore and Remus and I'm telling ya, you don't ever want to eat across from Mad-Eye. He pokes everything, probably trying to decide if its poisoned and he kept checking everyone else's food so once in a while he'd poke your food too or loudly sniff it just to be sure. And if that didn't do it, there's still the creepy magical eye whizzing around at 360 degrees, quite enough to make anyone lose their appetite. Anyway, Mrs Weasley was there as was the rescue team that showed up at my house, and Tonks, Mme Pomphrey and Shacklebolt.

Everyone was talking around me but I wasn't listening, I was still caught up in the conversation we had upstairs. Dumbledore really threw this one at me didn't he? And now I had to spend the rest of the day avoiding Fred and George. I left before anyone else and headed upstairs, directly to the room that used to have Buckbeak in it. Sadly, the creature wasn't to be found and I ended up running into Remus. We walked around, touring the house (which isn't called a mansion for nothing) and talked a bit. Mostly about Sirius; Remus was feeling the loss too of course. Now it was just him and Wormtail. How depressing.

His next question caught me off guard. He was acting dodgy then looked me right in the eyes and asked "Why, did you call me Moony? You never used to; it was always Professsor." Apparently it had been on his mind the whole time, and was just waiting to ask it. I really had to think about that one, it just seemed more natural. I'm sure to a psychiatrist it made sense; he was the only adult I had left. I had even forgotten about I had called him that. Point blank, he wasn't my professor anymore, he was a relative of some sort; and I told him so. This seemed to cheer him up and our conversation turned to more trivial things. Like Remus asked "Where are your glasses?" I told him about my getting contacts and he responded "I'll tell Dumbledore, he'll want to know. So you've been walkin' around blind all week?" And "What did the twins do to you exactly? When you came down you weren't a ferret or covered in feathers." In return I asked him why he didn't like Mad-Eye and he explained that he didn't feel Mad-Eye was a good guardian and wouldn't treat me right; he had wanted me with him. I hadn't known it at the time, but that was a very parental way to feel. Nobody's protection was good enough but yours.

Note to self: find my mirror, fix it and give the other to Remus. Yes, good plan.

Needless to say, Fred and George caught up with me in soon after that, and insisted on a private conversation. George (the twin who now had on a sweater with the letter "G" on it) spoke first saying "we would first like to thank you enormously for your donation to our troublemaking cause"-

"First giving money"-

"Then thievery."

"We're offering exclusively to help with your new career."

"Career?" I asked, lost at sea.

"A side job, if you will." George explained.

"I saw your hand in that pocket, and"-

"That's a start"-

"But you need real training. Can't have you getting caught now can we!" Fred finished.

"You're going to teach me how to steal from people!" I blurted out. Really, that's, well stealing. "People get sent to jail for that!" I added, as if they didn't already know that.

"Our dear Harry"- Fred went on.

"You must see how useful an art it is."

"Just pickin' pockets to start with, who said you had to steal wallets?"

"How about the wand of a Deatheater?"

"I'd like to"-

"See you manage that without stealing."

"Ermmmmmm" That had me stumped; maybe it really would be a good thing to know how to do? "But I stole from Moody already, doesn't that mean I know how?"

Fred and George looked stunned. George stared at me aghast while Fred shook his head in disgust. "No, no, no, no Harry. You got lucky, amazingly so considering it was Mad-Eye you nobbled. Imagine if he saw you!"

That image brought George back to earth who added "It's like pickin' locks. You can get it right the first time, but it takes practice."

"Exactly so. Good thing he was busy with lunch or"-

"He'd have felt the weight out of his pocket."

"You had an easy job of it."

"If it'll help win this war"- I started to say but was cut of by the twins who immediately began taking turns shaking my hand.

"Good, Good chappy. Lessons begin at once!" And with that they took a large step back and were smiling like idiots. I was utterly bewildered until they each emptied their pockets on the desk, revealing the contents of my pockets! Hey, not nice! I couldn't make them out now without my glasses but I knew what was in my pockets. Thank Merlin it was nothing embarrassing. A muggle pencil, piece of parchment (which had Dung's name on it and the time of day he guarded me regularly. He was easy to spot after a while) and a few muggle candies "Harry, you've got a time turner!" George exclaimed. "You"-

Fred actually cut him off (that happens a lot around here) instead of finishing his sentence and inquired "It's Mad-Eye's? Way to go you ignoramus! He's bound to miss it! One look upstairs and we're doooooomed!"

"Ahhhh" George groaned, clearly on the verge of a headache, or excellent dramatics. George advised "Make sure we can meet somewhere this weekend!" Anyway, they chucked my stuff at me, and fled the room without another word.

Next I ran into Mundungous Fletcher who immediately began chasing me around the mansion screaming "Run faster Potter! Are you happy now!" I replied "yes" and the chase was on. The guy was mad at me! So we ran around the house screaming at each other, which everyone else found amusing. I was very glad that Snape wasn't there, else wise he would have tripped me and I'm not sure what Dung would have done if he caught me. Well Dumbledore eventually stopped him and I discovered that yes, Dung was in better shape now! Note to self: don't do something like that to Dung ever again! I felt very happy about it though. Fred and George thought it was frickin' hilarious, but had to leave halfway through. Snape had hinted that Dung was upset before. What was it?"You should remember Fletcher is on our side too?" Or something like that. Perhaps Dung would seek revenge in some other way now? He hadn't done any damage after all. At least I got my excise in and to take Mundungus for1 last run before I left.

To bad for me, that wasn't all my day was to hold. I had put off thinking about tomorrow and had an urge to kick something when Dumbledore caught up with me after supper. "Have you decided on a name for yourself Harry?" he asked as if he was asking me if I wanted tea. The guy is nuts.

So I replied rudely "I'm kinda attached to the one I've got thanks." Normally, I would never insult an adult like that, but I felt he deserved it.

Dumbledore didn't feel fazed in the least and plowed on commenting "I found a last name for you, Remus actually has a half sister witch married and without child, but nobody knows that last bit. Their last names Everson, so anything you can find that'll go with that will do fine. Ask Remus about her later."

"Sir, are you sure this is necessary? I'd be just as safe at Hogwarts, if not more." In short, I really didn't want to go.

"My dear boy, surely Alastor isn't so frightening?" Dumbledore teased. He was trying to make me want to go, if only to prove I wasn't afraid. Reverse psychology. K, maybe if I was 2 years old.

"I'd just rather be at Remus's is all and erm, I don't know Moody sir." This was, now that I think about it, exactly what Dumbledore was hoping I'd say.

"Good." He said sharply clapping his hands together. "This'll be the perfect opportunity for you two to get to know each other. Harry, this really is for your own safety, if you were hurt, the world would suffer our neglect. Like the Dursley's punching you."

Say, how'd he know? Oh, right. Mme. Pomphrey must have told him. Shit.

"Harry, why didn't you tell us?" Dumbledore asked softly, in that disappointed tone of voice. That didn't make me feel bad as I'm sure he intended; it just pissed me off that he didn't already know.

"Because I don't want your help! How can I be expected to stand against Voldie if I can't take a hit from my uncle? I was fine I just"-

I had no words to describe that really. It was stupid teenage rebellion that kept me silent I suppose. Can't tell him that though! So I finished "-wanted to do it alone." Dumbledore wasn't happy with this excuse of course but didn't lecture me. Instead he said "ok, well let's bring in Remus shall we?" What was he doing?

Remus and Mme. Pomphrey were just outside the door and walked in after he said this. Oh you know they planned that one! By now it had gotten darkout and we had to illuminate the room, easily done with magic. He had Remus sit down on a seat he conjured up and while Mme. Pomphrey examined his face at every angle (especially his cheek bones) Dumbledore explained that as a relative of Remus' I couldn't have just any appearance; it had to be one a little similar to his.

Now if you ask me, this was going overboard, I was supposed to be the son of a half sister who, chances are, looked nothing like him! Regardless, the super paranoid people soon sat me down and began comparing the both of us. The goal was to make small changes, nothing to drastic but enough that people wouldn't guess my identity. At one point the nurse told me off for squinting and we explained it was due to my lack of glasses. She simply clucked her tongue and kept up the examination. It was the most uncomfortable thing of my life. Truly. At least she wasn't personal about it, but then you didn't know what she thought of our looks.

Finally done she got out a potion and her wand. She ordered me onto a bed (recently conjured by Dumbledore) and told me to drink up. It put me to sleep for about an hour, long enough for her to do her magic. The spell was more like on that fixed a broken leg, it set the bone. Well in this case it reshaped it so that it brought up my cheek bones, giving me a sharper look, somewhat like Remus.

When I awoke Mme. Pomphrey was there and brought me to the sink where she dyed my hair. Not using magic, but using muggle hair dye. She coloured it a dirty blond (not pukey peroxide like a certain prat we know) and asked how long it would take for my contacts to come in. I told her I didn't know; she'd have to look it up and I was excused.

Still having not thought up a name and considerably crabbier than before (and that was saying something) I headed to the kitchen where Mme. Pomphrey said Remus was to see his reaction. I had looked in the mirror on the way down and thought the change was quite good. I was just as good looking as before and yet, not Harry Potter; therefore no one would be pointing at me all summer.

I found Remus as she said in the kitchen waiting for me to come down. When
I entered he looked at me for a second and began applauding. For the rest of the evening he taught me how to play cards which I learned I was quite bad at, opened fan mail and trading light conversation. Fan mail was pretty much the same as last year; only the Order had thrown away any negative ones in their search for jinxes and read them all.

I never did those types of things before with Moony, it was nice. A lot of the time I'm sure we both pretended like we weren't missing Siris but I we did, for the usual reasons. Was Siris good at cards? I would never know.

Remus said that we were going to get me a haircut in Hogsmeade tomorrow, a concealing charm to cover my scar and wait for my contacts to come in, which Dumbledore was having changed to a blue grey; but for tomorrow they would have to charm my eyes a different colour and 20/20 vision. The eye charm wasn't permanent because after a while it would seriously harm your eyes. As well as the plan was working out, it didn't make me very happy. I'd long ago forgotten about Dudley; I just didn't want to have quality time with Mad-Eye Moody. I wasn't leaving friends behind as Ron and Hermione had been told not to write to me period and I had no one at Privet Dr. When we were done Moony led me up to a room (not Sirius's) and had my things brought up. I slept that night without a single nightmare, I think. I don't remember what I dreamed, if at all. Yay me!

I was woken next morning at 5:00 by Remus who knocked on my door until I told him (as politely as possible) to go fall off a cliff. A word of advice, never insult a marauder, especially anytime before breakfast. Out of nowhere a bucket appeared over my head and began to tip over. Not wanting to find out the temperature I quickly flipped off the bed and log rolled across the room. I suppose my reflexes were fast because Moony opened the door a second later to gloat and found me perfectly dry on the floor. If it was Siris he probably would have conjured a hose and sprayed me with it until he was satisfied just to spite me but Remus laughed his head off and made his way down stairs still laughing.

Well I was awake now. Positive that I'd laugh about it later, I dug into my trunk, found some "clothes" and slipped them on. The squad had brought everything incase I was staying a long time and a good thing they did, 'cept for Hedwig who was sent to Hogwarts earlier, claiming not only would I not be allowed to use her, anyway but that she'd be out of the way. Pushing my PJ's to the bottom of the trunk I gasped when I cut my finger on something. Not again! I thought, my good mood plummeting fast. It was the mirror Siris had given me. Oh right! I was gunna fix it. Wonder where Sirius's is. Kinda need that. Carefully taking out all the pieces and wrapping the in a shirt I made my way downstairs. Somebody else could charm my stuff back down the stairs, I wasn't bloody well gunna carry it all! Even if I didn't own a lot of things.

I was expecting to see any number of people from the Order around, despite the fact that it was so early. But only Remus was there. I found him in the kitchen making toast and setting out butter and jams. He heard me come in and abruptly stopped what he was doing and ran from the room. I called him back asking for help with some magic and when he saw the mirror he was confused. I explained it and he easily fit the pieces back together, good as new and promised to look for the other one.

Job done he charged out of the room, giving me time to put the mirror away safely in my trunk, next to the time turner, and came back quickly carrying something in brown paper that looked suspiciously like a broomstick.