Author's Notes: Thanks to Twitch1, Grey17 and Dagmar for reviewing. I have a basic plotline for this which indicates there should be another 4 chapters, but this is subject to change. I wasn't planning on updating so quickly, but inspiration hit me, and here's the second chapter. Please review!
Kim
I didn't think he'd call. Sure, I contemplated what it would be like if he did call, and asked to meet up. I wondered if there'd be more almost-flirting, glances from the corner of our eyes, comments left unsaid that should be out in the open while other things better left unsaid were blurted out. But those were thoughts to get me through the day at work, on the same level of probability as me winning the lottery and then getting hit by a golf ball on the head on the same day. Virtually zero.
He only had to go and prove me wrong by calling…
Four days later of course; no self-respecting man calls quickly. The pitch at work had gone as smoothly as could have been expected, and my weekend had been spent alternately sleeping, cleaning my apartment, and trawling various stores in the city in an attempt to buy items to make my house more like a home. I'd daydreamed slightly on Friday but there had been little time amidst the turmoil at work; and idle thoughts of being swept off my feet once more had crossed my mind on occasion during an exceptionally boring Monday morning, spent in meetings about when to have meetings, and general troubleshooting. Not the best time to bring up my unhappiness at the job.
I love Surfside, don't get me wrong. The weather in Boston was beginning to become normal for me, and as a California girl, one should never be away from the sunshine for too long. I'd done about as much as I'd wanted to where I was working, and had approached a headhunter back on the West Coast to find me work somewhere closer to home. So, Surfside it was, and what seemed to be a life deemed to end with me buying marker pens, making coffee and harassing people to do their jobs quicker. Not exactly what I'd hoped for, but it paid the bills, and I was already checking the jobs section of the paper on a regular basis.
However, he's not the first 'school-friend' to get in contact with me today, and I hear my phone ringing from deep inside my purse while I'm working through my lunch break. I manage to grab it before the person on the other end hangs up, and I see on the screen display that it's Aisha. "Hey Eesh, what's happening?"
She sighs on the other end of the phone. "Things are pretty quiet here. I was on my lunch break and thought I'd give you a call, see if you could handle a visitor sometime in the next couple of weeks?"
Aisha sounds more down than I've heard her in a long time, and I sense there's another reason for her visit than just wanting to see me. "You know you're always welcome to stay, especially since we haven't seen each other for such a long time, but why now? I thought you'd just taken some holiday time to go see Adam and Tanya in Detroit."
"I did, and it was great, but…" Another sigh, and she reveals her problems to me. "Rocky's being a major pain in the ass, and I just need to get away for a while. It's like, we've been seeing each other for two years now, and I may have dropped a couple of hints about taking things further. He's been acting completely out of character ever since… he's been really quiet and his food intake has decreased by half."
"We know it must be serious then," I joke, but then turn back into serious mode. If Aisha needs someone to bounce ideas and thought off, then I'm more than happy to oblige. "I understand why you mentioned making a further commitment, but maybe he hadn't thought of it before and just feels a bit claustrophobic? You guys seemed really happy the way you were the last time I came to see you, and it might not have occurred to him that you'd have ended up wanting more."
"I understand that, but it's been six months since you've been out here, and… maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I'm not desperate to get married, and I know I'm not ready to have children. I think what I wanted more than any of that was a reassurance that we were headed in that direction together, as a couple, and I'm not getting that at the moment. I've been thinking about it, and I thought the best way to deal with it is for us to give each other some space, so we can both think things through."
"You're handling this really well," I admire, impressed. "If it were me, I'm sure I'd have flown off the handle and given him an all-or-nothing ultimatum so at least I knew where I stood."
"Believe me, there have been many times where I've wanted nothing more than to do just that," Aisha admits, and I laugh, able only too well to picture her yelling at Rocky to buy her a ring or it would be over. "At the end of the day though, what would it solve? I'm on call next weekend, so I'm looking to come over the weekend after that. How would you feel about a girl's night? If we call Trini and Kat, we could muster up enough people to take the bars of Surfside by storm."
"Excellent idea," I say, and can't resist telling one of my best friends in the world the gossip that's been eating at me for the past four days without anyone to tell it to. "Speaking of old friends… Guess who I ran into in town last Thursday?"
"You saw him?" Aisha squeals down the phone, and I have to hold the phone a couple of millimetres away from my ear to protect myself from the full blast of her speech.
"From your reaction I take it that you knew he was living near me and chose not to tell me?" I ask her, only half-jokingly. So everyone knew and chose to keep me out of the loop? As if I wasn't feeling friendless enough in this city at the moment, where practically the only people I speak to outside of work are the takeout delivery guy and the woman who works at the convenience store at the end of my street. I haven't exactly bonded with my colleagues, who didn't even offer to take me out for drinks when I first arrived. I'm used to being able to make friends easily, so that came as something of a letdown. Still, this time will give me a chance to do some soul-searching, which is hardly inspiring.
Aisha thankfully dials it down a little when she speaks again. "I knew, but I guess I thought he'd have told you already. I know you guys speak a lot, and I assumed you already knew."
"I wouldn't call the occasional email regular contact, but I hear what you're saying. I'll have to beat it out of him why he didn't tell me, I guess." If I ever speak to him again, that is.
"So, what was it like? Give me the gossip?" Aisha demands, and I acquiesce.
"I bumped into him in a stationery store, and we went for a coffee. But it was so strange… I really, honestly thought that we'd got past the whole awkward stage but at times it was like we were flirting again. And there was definitely chemistry there, Eesh, and that hasn't been there for a long time. Even you have to admit that."
There's a pause, and then, "Yeah, when was the last time we were all together, Jason's 28th? You two were more like best friends than anything more whenever you were talking. I wasn't paying close attention to be truthful, but it didn't seem as though you two were suddenly going to rip each other's clothes off."
I grin. "Hardly. Anyway, he took my number and said he'd give me a call if he was coming into the city again. I doubt he will though."
"And why not?" Aisha said, reverting back to the squealing that came naturally to her when she was worked up. "I'm not just saying that because you felt a hint of chemistry, Kim. If it's the same as it was and you two are still just destined to be good friends, or brother and sister, then he'll call. You're the only two living in the immediate vicinity, of course he'll call on you if he needs you."
If he needs me? "Why would you say he'll call me if he needs me?" I ask curiously, perplexed at Aisha's choice of words. There's an empty pause at the end of the line.
"I don't think I meant to say if he needs you, Kim. Why would he need you? You know, unless you've somehow developed an extensive knowledge in all things paleontological. I meant to say he'd call if he wants to talk, or wants to meet. That's all I meant." Is it my imagination, or does she suddenly sound slightly flustered? That's odd… "Anyway, Kim, I gotta go, my 1 o'clock's due any second and I have to mentally prepare myself for dealing with a flea-infested cat."
"I really didn't need that mental image, especially when I can't reciprocate with one of my own," I say. "What am I meant to do, say I'm psyching myself up for dealing with going through the budget for next month? That's hardly going to induce the same amount of revulsion."
"Ah, but if you're not a maths person it will," Aisha points out. "So, I'll call you in the next week or so and tell you when I'm coming to visit."
"Don't do something rash before then and ruin this," I warn her. "You and Rocky are the real deal, you'll find a way to work it out."
"I remember saying the same thing about a certain other couple about ten years ago," Aisha says wryly. "Talk to you soon, Kim."
So I hang up the phone and continue my work, all the time thinking of what Aisha has said to me. Even if it were a slip of the tongue, why would she say that Tommy would call if he needed me? How about if he wanted me? Needed seems a strange word to choose. And having relationship problems couldn't be the best situation for Aisha to be in. She and Rocky had always seemed so strong in their relationship; it seems strange to think about them as being on shaky ground or in trouble. I have every faith that they can work it out, but whether they will is another matter entirely.
Everyone comes back into the office at around 2 o'clock, and work continues around me until 3.30, when my cell phone rings again. I pick it up from the place where I'd thrown it upon finishing the call to Aisha, and don't recognise the number which is calling me. I answer "Hello?" in a wary tone; not expecting to hear the voice on the other end of the line…
TommyI didn't mean to call her.
Actually, that's a lie. The weekend was pretty quiet; I spent it marking the pop quizzes I'd sprung on my students on Friday as a way to work off the frustration I'd felt at seeing Kim on Thursday evening. I don't think they were impressed at two pop quizzes in a week, but it was a way to keep them on their toes, and hell, it made me feel better. I gave up counting the times I picked up my cell phone and let my finger hover over the 'call' button whenever her number was displayed on the screen. For some reason, I never pressed the button, and never trusted myself to speak to her. What would I say? "I know we've been best friends for the past three years, but how about a date on Friday night?" "I hate going into the city, but I'd go there everyday if it meant giving me a chance to see you?" "I don't understand what I'm feeling, but I can't stop it?"
This is way more than the high-school crush we shared in our teenage years. I don't think I can understand it; even less stop it. That was the argument I used for calling her, but somehow sense managed to prevail until Monday afternoon.
Nobody likes Mondays. Even though my weekend was spent sedately, nothing untoward happening to distract me from the mundane aspects of life, I would still have preferred to have an eternal weekend as opposed to going back to school and spending six hours of my day trying to explain scientific matters to classes of kids who really couldn't care less. I wasn't in a bad mood, just a kind of mood where nothing is good and nothing is bad. Kind of like the moods my students seem to have when faced with the details of scientific phenomena.
Trent, Kira, Ethan and Conner were in my sixth period class, and god knows how, could tell that something was up. So, when the bell rang to signal the end of the period, they didn't join the mass exodus with the rest of their classmates, but sidled up to my desk.
"What's up, Dr. O? You didn't seem as enthusiastic about the…" Conner trailed off, trying to think of an accurate description of the Big Bang. "Big, bang.. stuff?"
"Yeah, because that makes so much sense, Conner," Kira said, and shoved him in the side with her notebook hard enough to make him yell, and rub his ribs.
"When did you get so strong?" Kira rolled her eyes, and made me smile when she said,
"Duh, about the same time you did?" Ethan jumped into the conversation while Conner stood with a slightly vacant expression, trying to decipher Kira's comment.
"Dr. O, are you ok? Has anything, you know, happened? That we need to know about, I mean?"
I'm annoyed that they can tell something's wrong, but also slightly touched. Not that I'd ever admit it, and I would never tell them what was going on. "Thanks for your concern, but nothing's wrong. Don't you guys have classes you should be getting to, anyway?"
"Are we having a training session after school?" Trent asked quietly, as my next class of students began to trudge into the classroom.
"Yeah, same time, same place. Now get along to your next class, or we'll all be in trouble." The four of them reluctantly turn to leave, Kira looking over her shoulder as if to reassure herself that I'm okay, only for her attention to be drawn away as Conner yells, "So that's what you meant!"
I can stand the suspense for the last tortuous class, but while I'm tidying up my things and getting ready to leave, I suddenly cannot resist the impulse to call her. Even though it's just before half 3, hopefully she'll be free to talk. Although, if I remain as nervous as I have inexplicably become, it might be best if I get her answering service.
Once my classroom has emptied out for the hour, I sit on my desk and pull my cell phone out of my briefcase. I'm about to dial her number, when the door opens and Principal Randall walks in. Shit.
"Dr. Oliver, how refreshing to find a young teacher who feels it permissible to sit on his desk and talk to the children as though you're one of them," she says smoothly, and I wince. "I was wondering if you'd had a chance to think about how you wish to approach the next Parent's Evening. As you know, I wanted a more relaxed approach this year, I thought maybe you would have volunteered to be one of the teachers who made a presentation about their subject. Is there any chance I can persuade you?"
Not really, but I have a feeling I'm going to end up saying yes, anyway. I wasn't exactly paying attention during the meeting where she talked about this, but even if I had been, I'm too busy to prepare a presentation, what with saving the universe on a twice-weekly basis as well as being a teacher. Then again, she'll make my life hell if I don't do this, so the path of least resistance has got to be the way to go. "I guess I could prepare something, but I don't really have the time for it to be a detailed presentation. Would a 2 minute speech be enough?"
She raises one eyebrow, and something about it makes my skin crawl. I can't really work out why, but something about this woman sets my teeth on edge, and it's not just the contempt she doesn't even bother to hide for her job, her colleagues and her students. It's not even the flirtation that she still likes to throw my way from time to time. I have no idea why I can't stand the woman, and that makes me hate her even more. "Perhaps if you find the time, you could also prepare some visual aids to make it more… stimulating. That will be all." And with that nasty little dose of sarcasm, she turns to leave, but then pivots on her heel and looks back at me to say, "And don't make a habit of sitting on the desk," before she leaves.
That meeting has left me with a nasty taste in my mouth, but it hasn't put me off from my mission. At least if I call Kim, I'll know one way or the other whether we'll be seeing each other again in the near future, and can begin to pull myself together. It took all my self-control not to pick up the phone over the weekend and ask her if she had plans, but the control has run out, and I need to know.
This time I manage to dial her number, and her phone rings five times with no-one answering. I'm about to psych myself up to leave a calm and collected message for her, but then she answers. "Hello?"
"Hey, it's Tommy." Nice start. She'll probably have seen your name on the call-display of her phone, so there was no need to say your name, but am I being presumptuous in thinking that she may have stored my number?
She laughs. "Yeah, I saw your name on the display. So, what's up? Another long day of teaching over and done with and thought you'd rub it in that I can't go home for another two hours?"
I smile, and settle myself so I'm sitting more comfortably on the desk. She always did have a knack of making conversations that could potentially be nasty much more easier. "Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Even though I have to go home and prepare lesson plans for the next seven hours." Why am I not telling her I'm a Ranger again? Come to think of it, it isn't really something you can break to someone over the phone. We'll have to meet again so I can tell her. I seriously would have thought that someone else would have told her by now, but it was obvious from our meeting on Thursday that she's oblivious. I wonder what's going on there…
"Okay, so I don't have to kill you. Good. Did you have a good weekend?"
"If you can call marking six batches of pop quizzes fun. I was in a bad mood on Friday morning," I tell her, careful to avoid telling her that she was inadvertently the cause of such turmoil, "and it seemed a good idea at the time to take out the frustration on my students. I didn't exactly think it through, and kind of forgot that although giving them out would feel good at the time, I'd actually have to mark them at the end." Embarrassing, but so sadly true.
"Now, why doesn't that surprise me?" Kim giggles. This conversation is good. It's relaxed. It's not tense, we're not sitting opposite each other with me shooting glances at her to try and work out if she's been looking at me too. Excellent.
"How about you, how did you spend your weekend?"
She sighs, and I can almost picture her rolling her eyes at the other end of the phone. A tone of voice can tell so much when you can't see the person speaking, especially when you know someone as well as I know Kim. "I spent it cleaning my apartment, and then trawling the city looking for things to make it look nicer. I guess neither of us have been living the high life."
There's definitely despondence in that tone, and I can begin to work out why. She's always had friends surrounding her; even in Florida and Boston she made friends easily. But she's been in Surfside for a few months now, and she's never mentioned a friend there. I don't really know what to say, whether I should broach the subject with her or not. I settle for a light-hearted approach in an attempt to cheer her up. "I guess it's because we're getting old, the appeal of going to bars and clubs kind of wears off when all you'd rather do is sleep."
It works, thank god. "I know the feeling. I got a call from Aisha this lunchtime though; she's going to spend a weekend with me in a couple of weeks. I think she's having problems with Rocky and needs to get away for a while."
This surprises me, the last time I spoke to Rocky he'd said everything was going well. Then again, I'd had no reason to doubt him. "I had no idea they were having trouble. Does it sound serious?"
"I really don't know. I think Aisha's looking for something more solid to prove that Rocky's willing to commit permanently to her. I know they're in an exclusive relationship and all, but she's looking for something a little more tangible, voiced her opinions – loudly, if I know Eesh – and now she's scared she's asked for more than he can give."
Interesting. "Has he said anything about it?"
"I get the impression he's skirting around the subject while he tries to get his thoughts into order," Kim says dryly, and I smirk in sympathy – Rocky isn't the only one avoiding an issue. "Anyway, Aisha's coming up to see me in two weeks time, and I can't wait. I hardly see anyone these days, and I haven't seen her for such a long time, we'll have so much to catch up on."
"Speaking of seeing people, are you doing anything on Wednesday?" The words slip off my tongue before my mind has a chance to process them and reject them as being too forward, too blunt, and too generally wrong. What am I doing? If I drive all the way up to the city only to be called back for a monster attack, how am I supposed to make my excuses if I haven't told her yet, and how am I supposed to get all the way back into Surfside? But a little voice in my head is speaking, and it's telling me that I can't use my Ranger life as a shield to avoid my personal life. Kim's obviously lonely, I have nothing in particular to do on Wednesday afternoon, and it makes sense that two old friends would use this time to catch up when there's less time restriction, seeing as before Thursday we hadn't seen each other for quite a while.
If I look hard enough, I'll always find reasons not to see her. I don't know if disregarding these reasons is a good or a bad thing, but it's done now, and I'll have to live with the consequences, whatever they turn out to be. If there's an attack, I'll have to leave. End of story.
"Wednesday? Hang on a second…" There's a pause on the other end of the line, and I can faintly hear the rustlings of pages being turned near to the phone. I kick my heels absently against my desk until Kim's voice comes back on the line. "Wednesday is good, I don't seem to have anything pencilled into my hectic social calendar. Where do you want to meet, though? You met me in Surfside last time, even though by chance, so I could drive up to Reefside after I finish up at work if you want."
It would be easier that way I guess, in case there's an emergency and I have to make my excuses quickly, but I finish work at least two hours earlier than Kim, and it would take her another hour at least to drive here. No, it would be much easier for me to make the journey to Surfside while she's still at work, and then maybe wait at the café we were at on Thursday until she can get out of work. "The offer's appreciated, but it'd make sense if I drove up to the city while you were at work, and then met you once you got out. Otherwise you'd have to battle the rush-hour, and you'd barely have arrived before it would be time for you to leave again."
"I hadn't even thought of that. I'll see if I can leave an hour early, but I can't make any promises knowing this madhouse. Do you want to just go for a coffee again, or shall I find something more exciting in Surfside that may deserve our attention?" Kim snorts slightly, and I grin. "Not that I've found anything yet in six months of trying, but we'll see."
"It sounds like a plan," I tell her, and then look at the clock mounted on my classroom's door and grimace. I was meant to be back at my place by now to get started on another training session, and given the team's concern earlier, I'm surprised they haven't been inundating my communicator with messages. "Listen, I'm going to have to go. How about I try to find Dino's on Wednesday, and you give me a call when you get out of work?" I jump off the desk and grab my briefcase with one hand, to start walking out of my classroom.
"You're going to have to get the name right unless you want to wait for me in some imaginary café in an alternate dimension," Kim says lightly, and I mentally kick myself – thinking of the Dino Rangers must have meant I said Dino's instead of Gino's when referring to the café.
"Gino's, I meant Gino's," I backtrack hastily.
"Yeah, whatever, I'm sure you did. Shouldn't your memory have improved when you became a teacher?" She doesn't give me a chance to retort to this jibe. "Listen, get back to whatever it is you're supposed to be doing instead of talking to me, and I'll see you Wednesday."
I never thought I'd be glad for my reputation as someone who would forget their head if it weren't screwed on. "You know my memory, Kim. See you Wednesday."
"Bye." She clicks off the phone as I throw open the school doors and walk across the parking lot to my Jeep, all the while letting out the breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding. After all, the conversation had gone well. She hadn't even questioned why I'd suggested the meeting, which surely meant she felt it was a natural thing for us to meet for a coffee in the middle of the week. The talking had flowed well; there were no awkward pauses or slips of the tongue that couldn't be covered.
Yes, that was a success, I think as I turn the ignition and pull out of the school grounds. At least now I can face the interrogation by the Rangers and not completely incriminate myself…
KimThere's been a spring in my step the past two days, and I don't even want to delve deep into my psyche to find out why. I think I could get used to being proved wrong if it makes me this happy. My happiness hasn't spread into being any more comfortable in my job, but I have a tiny plan in the back of my mind as to how to act upon this, and it's reassuring me that if I stay in the job for a while longer, things may get better.
Oh, who on earth am I kidding? I'm ecstatically happy that he rang, even more so that he suggested we meet so soon after our initial rendezvous, and am going insane that I have no-one to talk to over this. So, I do what any normal girl would do, and ring one of her best friends from the ladies' restroom before leaving the building on Wednesday afternoon to go meet Tommy at Gino's. Unless, of course, he's mixed it up with some non-existent café called Dino's and is futilely wandering the streets looking for it. Let's hope not.
"Trini? It's me," I hiss into the phone, perched on one of the sinks in our floor's bathroom. "How do you wear your hair if you're not sure if you're going on a date but really, really, want it to be one?"
Maybe I should have elaborated; filled her in on the back-story before getting to the heart of the matter. I can't blame her for being completely confused, and saying, "Run that by me again, Kim. You're not sure if you're going out but really want it to be a date? With who? And why is this the first I'm hearing of it?"
I look at my watch. I really shouldn't be late, but at the same time, I could really use Trini's input on this. I decide to throw caution to the wind and take any abuse Tommy could throw at me as to my lateness. "I ran into Tommy while shopping last week, we went for coffee, things were all… I don't know, sparky, which hasn't happened between us since we were actually dating. Which was in high school. And now we're best friends, and I don't get why this chemistry has suddenly chosen to reappear. But anyway. Nothing's actually happened, but he called on Monday and said did we want to meet on coffee on Wednesday. Wednesday is now, he's probably waiting for me right now, and as you may or may not be able to tell, I'm slightly nervous. So how the hell am I supposed to wear my hair?"
I do not need Trini to be giggling uncontrollably on the other end of the line, but giggle away she does. I leave her to finish, knowing that anything I say is liable to set another cascade of laughter into motion. Eventually, after what seems like a lifetime but probably is not, she hiccups, and says, "Sorry. That was uncalled for, but extremely necessary. So, you're telling me that after ten years of being nothing but friends, no unrequited lust or simmering crush, you bumped into him on the street last week and suddenly you're acting like a teenager again?"
Damn Trini and her voice of reason. "It wasn't on the street, it was in a stationery store," I mumble mutinously, unable to deny anything else that she said.
"Doesn't it sound as though you were just caught unawares at seeing him again? If you're still unsettled in your new job, it might be that you were so glad to see an old friend, that old feelings which are dead and buried came rushing back, not necessarily meaning that those feelings are still valid?"
"So why do I feel as though I'm seventeen again?" I demand of Trini, knowing that she's explained away my feelings in a nutshell, but unwilling to accept that the cause of my feelings is nothing more than loneliness. "And you can say I was imagining it, but I'm almost sure he felt the same way too."
"I can't explain his feelings," Trini says patiently, "but if you're supposed to be seeing him now, go and see him. Act normally, as though you're just friends, as you have been for the last ten years with no problems, in case you'd forgotten that. And then come home and tell me all about it."
As much as I hate to admit it, it's slowly dawning on me that Trini's explanation really could explain away a lot. I guess it can come in useful that I have a qualified psychiatrist as a best friend. "Okay," I sigh, and move away from the sink. "But you still haven't answered my question. How should I wear my hair?"
I don't need to be in the same room as Trini to know that she is rolling her eyes to the heavens and wondering how I can be almost thirty and still act like a teenager. If she ever finds the answer, I'd like to know it. "I guess wear it loose, then you can flick it behind your shoulders if things are going the way you apparently want them to, or hide behind it if you've said something embarrassing."
Trini is always handy with the practicalities. "Thanks, and sorry. I'll give you a call when I get home tonight, to let you know how stupid I've been, no doubt. Give my love to Jase when you see him, and give a big kiss to my niece and tell her I'll give her a present when I see her mother for a girl's night out that I have a feeling her auntie Aisha is planning."
"We'll see," Trini says darkly. "Good luck, Kim."
We hang up, and I pull my hair out of the band that has secured it in a ponytail for the past nine hours, and shake it loose. Trini's right, it would serve as a useful curtain if things go wrong – for the past few years I've worn it slightly below my shoulders, and the latest shade I've gone for is a few shades darker than my natural colour. I thought it would make me look professional for my new job, unfortunately the only way I'd gain their attention would be to dye my hair orange, or so it seems. A quick application of lip-gloss later, and I'm ready to roll.
I don't exactly run to Gino's, but I don't walk sedately either, and I manage to make it there only ten minutes after I was due to finish. Tommy's already commandeered the booth that we sat in last week, and I explain away my lateness before he gets the chance to mock me by saying quickly, "Sorry, sorry. My boss caught me just as I was packing up to leave, and I had to pretend to be interested for fifteen minutes until he ran out of things to say." A white lie, but I couldn't tell him I'd been yelling at my oldest friend for beauty advice while he was waiting. He seems to buy the fib easily enough anyway.
"It wasn't a problem, I didn't exactly get here on time myself," he admits sheepishly. "I got held up at school too, and I only got here about two minutes ago, hence no drinks." He sweeps his arm across to indicate the empty table. "I'll go, what do you want?"
"A latte, please," I ask, and take time to collect my thoughts while he goes to order and collect our drinks. Friendly drinks. Drinks between friends. I didn't even notice how good he looked, and didn't even bother to ponder whether he'd been marking the pop quizzes he'd mentioned on Monday out in the sun. Things like that don't interest Kim, the best friend, in the slightest. Not at all.
He returns with a latte for me and a cappuccino for him, and slides back into the booth. I busy myself with adding two packets of sugar to my drink, desperately trying to think of something people having friendly drinks say to each other, while pointedly not looking at him. I eventually realise I've been stirring the sugar into my drink for longer than most people would deem necessary, and sneak a glance up at Tommy, only to find him already staring at me incredulously.
I stare back. This staring goes on for longer than is probably polite, although it does give me a chance to reacquaint myself with the tiny flecks of hazel in his eyes, and to notice that it looks as though he didn't get a chance to shave this morning, unless the stubble's there for a reason. The staring looks as though it could continue for a while, and according to Trini this has to stop. I clear my throat, and say, "I can't even explain it by saying I read in a magazine that if you stir sugar into a drink for a full minute the calories disappear."
He smiles slightly. "Unlike the time where you swore blind that if you chewed each mouthful one hundred times, it somehow squashed the calories and made everything you ate calorie-free?"
I shrug. "I still haven't read anything that contradicts it," I say, and raise an eyebrow before smirking to let him know that I'm joking. He smirks back, but then we lapse once more into silence. He's staring past me into the main area of the café, and I take this opportunity to study his expression in an attempt to work out exactly where we stand. His mouth is slightly turned down at the corners, but not so much to form a frown, more as though he's deep in thought about something, which is correlated by the slightly vacant expression in his eyes. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I could sit here and look at him staring past me all day and not get bored with the view, but other customers might start to think we were strange. I'm already worried that we look odd enough as it is by not talking to each other, so after about two minutes of silence, I attempt to bring him out of it. "What held you up at school?" I ask, and take a sip of my well-stirred latte. He starts noticeably, and then blushes.
"Sorry Kim… I guess my mind was elsewhere. What did you say?"
"What held you up at school?" I repeat.
"Oh, uh… do you remember I told you the principal of the school where I teach was harassing me a little?" I nod. "She kinda cornered me into preparing a speech about science for Parent's Night, and then at my lunch break she told me she wanted to see it after school ended. I really couldn't say no to her, she could make my job very difficult for me, so I spent my lunch writing a hastily cobbled speech, and then spent forty-five minutes after school ended hearing why it wasn't good enough. All the while, knowing damn well that it wasn't good enough, but not being able to say I knew it was appalling, but I'd written it in ten minutes after she reminded me to do it." He shrugs, and gulps down about half his coffee in one mouthful. It all sounds very plausible, and I know about the pressure of deadlines as much as anyone, but something's not right with that story, and I'm not entirely sure what. I noticed an almost invisible flicker in his eye when I asked him what had held him up – something that a regular person probably wouldn't be able to see, but I've known him for almost 15 years, and I can tell better than most when he's hiding the truth. Then again, what right have I to call him on it? I may be one of his best friends, but if he wants to hide things from me, then I don't feel like I have much right to prise out the truth. I never have done, ever since we repaired our friendship after I broke up with him to go out with Josh. He tells me what he wants to, and I do the same. It's the way we work.
Playing along with what I'm almost sure is a lie, I grin and suggest, "So shouldn't you be back at your place writing this speech about dinosaurs instead of drinking coffee here with me?"
"It's not a backhanded compliment, but I'd much rather be here with you," he admits, not
that that surprises me. If he'd rather be at home writing a dinosaur speech, then why would I even bother? He pauses, and his mouth opens slightly as though to say something else, but he thinks better of it, and grabs his cup again, this time succeeding in finishing his drink. He places the cup back on the table as I'm about to take another sip of my latte, and asks suddenly, "Do you want to get out of here, maybe go for a walk somewhere?"
"Sure. Do you want to go for a walk past the shops, or to a park, where?" I ask, hoping that the mention of anything to do with shopping will bring him out of his suddenly introspective mood. It works, as it always used to do, and he shudders as I finish my drink and stand up. He stands up after me, and says,
"I know what's good for me, and shopping with you definitely isn't. A park, did you say? How about there?"
"Sure, there's one near my building." We leave the café, and I begin to ponder. So far, we've had what could have been a lie, a period of staring, and insulting my shopping habits. Not the best start to a day out, but then again, things can really only go better…
Tommy
I'm absolutely exhausted, and have no idea why I suggested a walk. I'm pretty certain Kim figured out I was lying about being detained about Principal Randall, and equally sure that she has no idea of the real reason why I was slightly detained. Luckily, the fight lasted for a shorter period than usual, and a hastily-fabricated lie about a doctor's appointment meant I curtailed the post-fight team talk in order to hightail it up to Surfside. I haven't been much company now I've arrived; so far I've managed to stare at Kim long enough that she noticed, and stare past her long enough that she noticed. Oh, and lie to her, because I can't tell her I'm a Ranger once again in a public place where she will loudly voice her disbelief and people will hear.
I spoke to Jason yesterday. I asked him if he knew whether Kim was aware I was back in uniform, and he seemed startled that I even asked. He thought I'd told her. If everyone thinks the same way as he does, then that means that she's the only one who is unaware of the true identity of the Black Dino Ranger. I feel like an idiot – how could I not have told her? Sure, we'd hardly spoken in the past year and a half, but before I'd gone to Mercer's island we'd been thick as thieves. Everyone, quite rightly, expected that I would want to tell Kim I was a ranger again myself. And I'd left it to others.
Idiot.
Once again, I'm wrapped up in my thoughts, and hardly notice where Kim is leading us. I shake myself out of my reverie, only to notice that Kim looks as though her head is also in the clouds, and wonder if she is paying any attention to where she's taking us.
She always looks more tired than I remember seeing her, and she's biting her lower lip as she used to do when thinking or worried. I wish there was something I could say to take away whatever loneliness she's apparently feeling, but I don't really have any place to anymore, even though I may want that job back. She's worn her hair down, and the slight breeze picks up a few strands as we walk, although not enough to mess it up. Kim's still as petite as she ever was, and still as gorgeous.
And, apparently, she still has the tendency to walk without paying any attention to where she's going, as she stops dead in the middle of the street with a confused expression on her face. "Where did I say we were going?" she asks, blushing. "Sorry, I guess I got distracted."
"I think you were taking us to a park, but you've been away with the fairies for the past three blocks," I tease, and her blush grows to a dark crimson. She looks at the buildings around her, and her confusion clears. "It's okay, we're at my building. Would you mind if we just stopped by my apartment so I can drop off my purse and change my shoes? I didn't dress for walking, and you wouldn't really want to listen to my complaining about having to walk in heels."
"It's not a problem at all," I assure her, and we walk on a little further, only to turn right into a lobby of an apartment building that has seen better days, as has the creaking elevator that seems to take an age to arrive. We wait side by side in the lobby, and Kim retreats into her trance-like state. I can't work out what she is thinking of, although at one stage a definite smile appears, so I don't think she's worrying about something. Who knows, as the elevator eventually arrives, and we step in.
The elevator is cramped, and we're almost touching as Kim presses the button for the fifth floor, even though when we got in we were at opposite sides of the box-like contraption.
Days later, I will still be unable to completely understand what happens next.
Kim straightens up from pressing the fifth floor button, and we're standing toe-to-toe somehow. "Sorry," she says, and steps to her left, just as I automatically step to my right.
"Oops," I say, and return to where I was, while she does exactly the same.
We're back where we started, in more ways than one. After all, wasn't this how we started, being awkward about being too close to each other, shy glances, and even the occasional lapse into a daydream from time to time? Maybe it's nostalgia. Maybe it's fate. She's standing so close to me, I can smell the scent of her perfume, and finally read the expression in her eyes, which is definitely one of desire. It's probably a perfect companion to the one in my eyes, so I do the only thing that seems right in this situation.
I don't need to lean in towards her much to let my hands rest lightly on her shoulders. Quick as a flash, I bend down and crush our lips together, knowing that I've probably killed our friendship with one action, but not sure whether this will turn out to be for good or for worse.
Days later, and I'm still not entirely sure…