Disclaimers—Still don't own this stuff.

Chapter 3

"Lee, do I look fat?" asked Kara coyly. Lee closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them once more. Kara was still standing in front of him batting her lashes as innocently as possible. As if that was possible, thought Lee to himself.

"Kara, you didn't look fat yesterday; you sure as hell didn't look fat five minutes ago; and I highly doubt you'll look any fatter come tomorrow," answered Lee in the calmest voice he could manage.

"Are you sure? Because this book I'm reading, The Wonderful World of Pregnancy, said I should be gaining some weight until I look like a blimp—kinda like this." Kara extended her arms far and wide from her body as an example.

Lee snorted. "You're having a baby, Kara, not an elephant."

"Huh, that's what you think, flyboy. Look at you, you're big."

"Babies start out small."

"Yeah, and then they turn into ungrateful, selfish, pig-headed, morons later in life—who don't take care of their pregnant best friends."

"Is there a point to this?" demanded Lee making another face as Crashdown passed the feuding pilots with a snicker.

"Anyway," continued Kara ignoring Lee's growing impatience, "that book talks about weight gain, stretch marks, and all the discomforts of being fat."

"Aw, yes—the eventual protruding of your stomach as our soon-to-be-tortured child grows," murmured Lee returning his attention down to the clipboard in his hands.

Kara narrowed her eyes. "Frack off and listen to me, 'cause I got to thinking about the round belly—"

"You mean you actually use that thing you call a brain?" Lee reached towards Kara's head, only to have it swatted away as the blonde continued speaking. The hangar deck had become quiet as the crew not so subtly tried to listen in on the latest interaction between the CAG and Lieutenant.

"The point is I think the whole looking fat thing is a mental concept."

"Huh?"

Kara rolled her eyes. Men were so stupid. "Lee, if you didn't know I was pregnant, how long do you think it would be before you actually noticed I was pregnant?"

"The second you started stealing my regulation pants."

"Other than that! Technically, I don't think you could. See, I believe that it's all in the mind that a pregnant woman looks fat. If no one knew the woman was pregnant they wouldn't see how fat she was. So really, I'm not gonna get fat."

Lee raised an eyebrow in question as he eyed Kara carefully. It seemed as though being grounded was finally turning her brain to mush. "Uh-huh. Unfortunately, I don't buy your theory, Kara. Eventually you're going to show. They baby has to have room to grow or else it would come out looking like a rat."

"Whatever, Lee, I'm not gonna get fat." Kara placed her hands on her hips, proving she would not be swayed into thinking otherwise.

With a sigh, Lee placed his clipboard down. With Kara around, there was no way in hell he would be getting any work done. "Look, as much as I want to trade theories on pregnancy with you—I have a lot of work to do. With you out of the air, we're a pilot short. It's hard enough trying to take all your shifts and still do CAG duties, Kara. Why don't you go bother someone else?"

"Like who?"

"I dunno, how about the Commander?"

"He's on Colonial One with the President."

"Alrighty, how about Dr. Baltar?"

"He's still paranoid from last week. I did hit him in the head with a book, remember?" Kara cocked her head to one side as she studied Lee's face. He seemed to be on the merge of a meltdown with her around.

Lee racked his brains trying to think of someone—anyone—who could keep Kara out of his hair. And then his face brightened. "Let's go to the CIC. Colonel Tigh should be up there somewhere manning the ship."

"And why would I want to bother him? I don't think he cares about my theories on being pregnant," protested Kara as Lee ushered her towards the stairs.

"Neither do I, but I listen to you anyway. Besides, this opportunity will motivate the good Colonel to think about the future."

"Sure it will. He's gonna send me out the airlock the first chance he gets."

"I was thinking more along the lines of the sooner we find earth, the sooner he won't have to listen to your motor mouth," remarked Lee as they neared the CIC.

"Are you trying to tell me something here, Lee?"

"Not at all." The two pilots entered the CIC and made their way over to Colonel Tigh. After a brief salute, the Colonel eyed both Lee and Kara warily.

"What brings you two here?" he asked glancing back and forth between the two.

Lee answered with a grin. "Kara needs someone to listen to her half-baked theories on pregnancy, and since I'm busy—you're just the man for the job. Good luck!" Without a backward glance, Lee quickly retreated out of the room, leaving Kara and Colonel Tigh together.

Kara gave the Colonel a whimsical smile before opening her mouth. "Colonel, do I look fat to you?" she began with an all knowing smirk.

Colonel Tigh frowned. "How much do you weigh?"

"That's none of your fracking business!" snapped Kara, her eyes flashing dangerously.

The Colonel gulped and he shrank back a step from the fuming pilot. He had heard about the temper she had gained now that she was pregnant. It was ten times worse than when she was still in the air. And Colonel Tigh knew there were serious repercussions to tend with for hitting a pregnant pilot—let alone a pilot carrying the Commander's grandchild.

"I—uh…that is, no? You're not fat? Should you be?"

Kara visibly brightened and loosened up. "You're a good man, Colonel. I might let you baby-sit the kid when it comes out."

"Lucky me. And exactly how much longer will that be?" returned the Colonel with a ray of hope in his eyes. Maybe the kid would be born next week and Kara could return to the air.

"Eight months, two weeks, and five days from now."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Sorry, sir, but that's my job."

"No kidding." Colonel Tigh sighed resignedly and then asked a fateful question. "So what's with this looking fat stuff?"

"Well, you see, I have this theory…"

Apparently the Gods weren't going to be kind to those aboard the Galactica. Kara was just getting started.

A/N—I thought long and hard before posting this chapter (so lord only knows if it's any good), but I've decided that I'm probably not going to make this a serious story. I think the new season of the show is serious enough, don't you? So I'm going to try and continue with the humor. Enjoy!