Author's note: I do not own any characters or stories regarding the X-Men, G.I. Joe, or the Teen Titans. They are the respective properties of Marvel Comics, Sunbow Entertainment and Hasbro, and DC Comics. Jake Clawson/Razor is the property of Hanna-Barbera's creation, the SWAT Kats. All characters regarding the Misfit-universe, including Althea, Xi, Blind Master, Trinity, and Lina is property of the brilliant and talented authoress, Red Witch, who has graciously lent her universe for me to write about (thanks again, RW!). I do own the OC, Justin Moore/Whitelighter and I am in no way here to make money of this fanfic, so please for the love of God, don't sue me! That said, enjoy this anticipated crossover with the Teen Titans appropriately called…
For Truth, Justice, And The Last Cup Of B.A's Coffee
CHAPTER 1: No Reason To Celebrate
"Hello?"
Silence. Only the stifling darkness, slightly burdened with dust and the echo of her voice wafted down the foreboding hallway. Raven started to grow nervous and anxious as she tried again, clutching the banister as she inched her way down the stairs and into the tunnel of darkness. Her knuckles were white as the telekinetic griped the stairway railing like a drowning victim clutches a life preserver. Still, she tried again.
"Hello? Is…is anyone there?"
Still no answer. The caverns and tunnels were as silent as death. Though she could have easily scanned for mental signatures and presences or could have simply pressed on the light switch that would have activated the lamps…Raven felt…scared.
She was no fool. She knew what today was. She knew why she dreaded it. And she knew, without a doubt, what her friends would think of her if they found out. If they found out. But then if this day was truly unavoidable, if the legends of fate were accurate, then could it explain why…?
Raven's mouth was dry, and not even her stoic resolution to remain emotionless could quell the alarm and trepidation that was starting to creep within her. Ever since her vision, ever since that night, when she suddenly came into acknowledgment about the Gathering of Twilight, so soon before the eve of "that day", she prayed, hoped even (a fool's hope), that it was simply a happenstance, a false alarm, a divination of what could come, but wouldn't.
Still, as the door to the operations center slid open for the cloaked girl to walk warily into the dim and dark chamber, Raven bit back a whimper as she saw the main center and facility of the Titan Tower, cold, shadowy, and not a single soul there. This was almost exactly like the time when the Titans watched the movie, "Wicked Scary", and Raven's powers left her temporarily to physically manifest as her worst fears and monsters. And this was all too close for comfort, being exactly in this exact situation.
Yet before Raven could even call again or perhaps contemplate what to do if she truly was alone and defenseless, Fate dealt a blow, the most cruelest joke of the universe in her opinion as the lights suddenly switched on and the figures pounced out to strike…
"What!" yelped Raven as the figures launch themselves into her line of fire.
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAVEN!" chorused the Teen Titans and the Teen Titans East as they came out with wrapped gifts, party favors, and a gigantic chocolate cake. Mas y Menos, the two twin Hispanic midget speedsters, just simultaneously roared the same sentiment as "Feliz Cumpleaños, Senorita Raven!"
The youths and adolescents expected Raven to gasp and smile, taken aback by their generous and caring bombshell. They expected her to giggle and say "thank you". They even expected Raven to remain deadpanned and say they didn't need to go through so much trouble for her sake, but still blush like other girls and enjoy the festivities (and this one was the most popular guess from those who knew Raven the best).
Yet what they didn't expect was for Raven to scream shrilly enough for their hair to stand on their ends before ducking back through the doorway and out of sight. The other nine teens just blinked, astonished and perhaps even a bit deflated if not offended.
"Um…Raven?" asked Cyborg in his deep yet playful voice, the hulking African American teenager still holding the gigantic tray carrying the eight-layer cake he baked himself with finesse and flourish and enough sugar to rot their teeth in minutes. And frankly, the pastry was starting to feel kind of heavy.
"We did get the right day, right?" Bumblebee asked, her eyebrows crinkled with confusion and her red lips formed into a small pout of perplexity, "I mean, today is her birthday, right?"
"Maybe today is her time of the month. Could explain why Raven's suddenly so screwy," commented Speedy, the red-haired archer, his face slightly amused at the hilarity of the situation. The other Titans (especially Bumblebee and Aqualad) gave the member of Titan East a deadpanned glare.
"Once again, Speedy, you show the sensitivity and thoughtfulness of a brain-dead ox," Bumblebee groaned, fighting the urge to slap Speedy upside the head.
"I'll have to disagree with that one. Oxen are usually smarter," quipped Aqualad, his violet eyes sneering alongside the leer on his face. He never once missed a chance to make a shot at his teammate whenever possible. Speedy felt a vein slightly throb in his temple from the barb as he smiled dangerously at his teammate.
"Hey Aqua-Sissie, wanna see how far I can jam a noisemaker down your throat or should I try shoving it through your other end?"
"I'll be glad to back up anything I say with my fists anytime, Speed-Twerp," Aqualad challenged with a glint in his eye. It was pretty common knowledge that Speedy and Aqualad didn't get along very often (a testament of their rivalry and/or friendship), and both of their conflicting egos and lifestyles made them brawl worse than cats and dogs, both verbally and physically.
"Pretty boy," returned the archer.
"Dingbat."
"Sea-cow reject!"
"Green Arrow poser!"
"Jackass!"
"Jerkface!"
"Enough, both of you," said Bumblebee in a final tone as she pushed her way in between them, wishing she brought aspirin for her budding migraine along with her present to Raven. Starfire, her long brown hair cascading down her slim, orange shoulders, then tried to explain gracefully with her cheery voice at the spot where Raven once was, hoping her friend could overhear her.
"Raven…it is merely us, your friends, with warm wishes for the day of your birth," she coaxed gently, unsure why Raven would be so scared.
"I told you a surprise party was a bad idea," Robin harrumphed flatly, crossing his arms over his chest, frowning slightly behind his mask. Considering Raven wasn't very sentimental, he could easily surmise that this wasn't the best of ways to show how they cared.
It was then that a circle of the familiar, dark aura swirled slightly behind Beast Boy before Raven then rose from the floor, startling some of them and most of all, Beast Boy. Beast Boy then found himself subjected under the stern glare of the gray-skinned witch, her teeth bared in a snarl. Beast Boy grinned weakly, sweating.
"How did you know it was my birthday?" Raven hissed through gritted teeth.
The green-skinned animorph then grinned widely, obviously proud of his part in this (and Raven made a mental note to kill him later when there were no witnesses) as he exclaimed with glee, "Well, um…remember last night, after we fought against Dr. Light, how you made that big deal about tomorrow? Well, we started wondering what tomorrow was so we did some snooping."
"'WE did some snooping'" chorused the other Titans in outrage and gall as they all shot the green mutant a death glare. Beast Boy winced and meekly offered an apologetic smile as he then corrected his mistake.
"OK, OK, I did some snooping. And I sorta found a restricted file in the off-limits area of the Titans' computer that kind of had your birthday on it."
Raven felt her irritation grow as her eye twitched ever so slightly. Of all the idiotic, stupid, inconsiderate - ! Forget the killing; she would torture Garfield as slowly and excruciatingly as possible once this night was over. Starfire then jumped in, blithely exuberant.
"And we have been preparing for your celebration ever since!" she exclaimed holding up Silkie, the mutated worm, "We have even called friends Titans East to join us on this occasion of festivities! Even Silkie wishes to give you great tidings of much thanks for this glorious day!"
Silkie squealed and gurgled on cue, drooling some strands of green slime from his mouth.
"Yes, Miss Raven! We would never miss the opportunity to celebrate a party!" chorused Mad y Menos, but since they spoke in Spanish, their words were lost on the crowd as most of them could barely understand the two hyperactive children. Beast Boy then flung out his arms in a dramatic pose, indicating the numerous balloons, paper streamers, party favors, confetti, the banquet table spread, the four video game consoles attached to the wide screen monitor, the banner declaring "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
"We put up tons of decorations!" Beast Boy said.
"And we brought presents! C'mon girl, don't tell me getting a truckload of presents doesn't make you very happy! And we've got a huge feast for us to pig out on!" Aqualad offered, holding up two wrapped gifts for Raven.
"We even got shrimp and fish sticks!" grinned Speedy sadistically afterwards, holding up a tray of said treats, which earned him an incredible glare of hate and offended anger from Aqualad.
Cyborg held up his masterpiece as he bragged, "And I baked my famous eight-layer cake with three kinds of frosting!"
Starfire then joined in as she presented to Raven an odd sculpture made entirely of edible meat, cheering, "And I have assembled for you a traditional Tamaranean thorknar! The crown of meat!"
Raven looked repulsed, and Robin was starting to become concerned; he could tell just from her body language alone that she did not want any of this, that this was very uncomfortable for their friend. He stepped forward, concern mixed with his usual serious demeanor.
The human vigilante then said to Raven, "I hope this is OK. We just - "
However, Raven coldly, her voice artic and at absolute zero, cut across Robin and her teammates, "No, it's not. It's not OK."
There was just a stunned silence as the members of the Teen Titans and the Titans East just stared at Raven's back. Raven felt her temper and frustration rise a bit as she then whirled around to face the nine members plus Silkie.
"Look," Raven said in a hard voice, "I really appreciate what you're trying to do here, but I'm not interested."
With that said, Raven started to stride away from the party and back towards the doorway entrance of the operations, leaving the guests and friends confused and speechless.
"So…is that a no?" Aqualad asked, whispering to Bumblebee and Speedy. Speedy didn't look at all that disappointed, actually.
"Oh well…too bad, looks like I'm just gonna have to enjoy the new X-BOX that Raven passed up," Speedy said without much remorse and tragedy as he gleefully hugged one of the wrapped presents they bought for the Teen Titan, but with an annoyed grunt, Bumblebee yanked on Speedy's ear painfully, causing him to squeal and wince.
"Nice try, Speedy, but you're going to be giving that X-BOX to Raven as originally planned…or else," she hissed, giving the archer's ear a nice twist to establish her point. As reckless and foolhardy as he was, Speedy didn't want to tempt fate by finding out what the "or else" part was.
Starfire made an attempt to stop Raven.
The orange-skinned alien then said, trying to appease and appeal, "But…but there will be music and the iced cream and a strange game that will involve pins and the behind of a donkey."
Cyborg then grinned a childish smile of glee as he held up a cardboard effigy of Beast Boy, chock-full of candy, along with a wooden slugger baseball bat as he bragged, "We got a piñata shaped like Beast Boy. C'mon, you know you want to smack it."
As tempting as that sounded, Raven didn't want to stay for the party even if they offered her the baseball bat to smack Beast Boy with (though she did file that idea later). The green-skinned mutant then tried one last time, pleading like a child, "Come on, Raven, I know you hate fun but it's your birthday. It's special. You can't let this day end without - !"
It was then that Raven had enough. Her temper, her frustration, her fear was now madly at its highest boiling point, and the emotions were so massive that she was surprised she wouldn't have given in to her dark side by now, but as a result, her powers freely exploded and discharged from her writhing, inner torment.
"NO!" she snarled, and immediately, the room was thrown into chaos.
With a series of pops and bangs, each and every one of the helium-filled balloons burst before lifelessly dropping to the floor. The banner reading "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" was immediately ripped to shreds by the dark shadows that converged onto it like piranhas to fresh meat, the various forces of Raven's perturbed mind wanting to erase the paradoxical statement completely from reality. At the same time, all the food, the food the Teen Titans and the Titans East took great care to prepare and order and fix up in an elegant banquet, was despoiled as the aura of telekinesis rendered it all to mush and rancid remains. Not even Mas y Menos would have wanted to try eating the gray and dark matter that had once been tantalizing finger foods, drinks, and cake. Raven cast a look at her friends before she left the operations center. Beast Boy looked hurt. Starfire was staring at Raven with wide eyes of confusion…and troubled concern. Cyborg silently gazed at Raven with fear, as if she was a monster (and she knew that had he known the real truth, he probably would think of her that way). The Titans East, now holding the remains of the presents they bought, actually looked at bit scandalized and annoyed at such brashness as they frowned at the telekinetic with slight outrage. Robin looked as stoic as ever.
Without a word, Raven pushed her way through the crowd and left. There was just a few moments of silence, with no one being able to say the right words to describe or appease the moment. Then Beast Boy, in his typical fashion, opened his big mouth.
"I told you a surprise party would be a bad idea," Beast Boy mimicked Robin mockingly.
"Shut up, Beast Boy," all the other members of the Teen Titans and the Titans East chorused, annoyed. Except for Mas y Menos. They just said the same thing in Spanish.
---
"I thank you all, students and faculty of H.I.V.E., for coming to this engagement," spoke the stern Headmistress of H.I.V.E. at the podium in front of the audience of fifteen-hundred students and future villains. The Headmistress hadn't been seen since Brother Blood had taken over the academy, but now that the latter Headmaster had been ousted, disgraced, and captured by the proper authorities, she had returned as mysteriously as she had disappeared. Her solemn, narrowed gray eyes and gray hair wrapped tightly into a no-nonsense bun gave her a look of stern influence and detached, composed dignity along with her cream-colored business suit and skirt. It was as if she had never left.
All around, the students where nervously whispering to themselves with hushed, excited gossip, pleasantly surprised that their old governess was back again. It was clear that not one of the H.I.V.E. apprentices missed Brother Blood and his reign of terror greatly, especially since he used his techniques of brainwashing and mind-control to rob them of whatever fun and freedom they had. Plus, they could all get away with more shenanigans considering the Headmistress was more lenient and moderate than the former sadistic fanatic.
"Wow, can you believe it? The Headmistress is back! And just when we thought she bought it once Brother Blood tried being the Headmaster!" squealed Selinda Flinders next to her best friend, Jinx. She was a skinny wisp of a girl, small, almost mousy, with a short, messy crop of red hair curling over her head. Out of all the students, Jinx could secretly admit that she enjoyed being in Selinda's company. Selinda was friendly, accepting, exuberant, and it was hard not to smile with her endless enthusiasm and cheerful personality. In a weird way, she was almost like the Titan, Starfire, down to a tee. Even Gizmo wasn't as brash and caustic with her, especially considering that Mammoth spread the word that anyone who was stupid enough to make Selinda cry would wind up with several broken bones and a fractured skull. For Selinda was Mammoth's younger sister.
The said hulking, red-haired behemoth just scoffed, smirking brotherly, as he messily tussled Selinda's hair, mock growling, "Hey, keep a lid on it, squirt! You could give all of us cavities if you don't cork it! Though I have to admit, it'll be a real welcome to have the Headmistress over that jerk, Blood, any day of the week!"
The dwarf boy-genius named Gizmo, clad in his green leather uniform and goggles, just made a noise that sounded like a derisive laugh as he grumbled, "Like having the starched, dog-faced she-giraffe is much better. She didn't exactly come running to our defense when we tangled with the Titans and lost to those pit-sniffers for the first time. I remember all the jacked-up detentions we had to do once we got bailed out of jail and got demoted from top of the class to the rest of these loser carpet-scuffers here."
The pink-haired witch named Jinx brashly cut her friend short as she hissed, "Shut it, Gizmo, I want to listen!"
The Headmistress then continued, her voice carrying seriously across the packed auditorium of scholars and educationalists, "Since H.I.V.E. was given generous grants by well-off and financially sound backers ever since the downfall of our status from Brother Blood, the Board and I have personally decided to submit the academy to a major reconstruction of the hierarchy and chain of command, effective immediately. First, let me warn you, my young future adversaries and master villains of heroes of this world: we are at war, pure and simple. Time and time again, our beloved institution of H.I.V.E. has been ridiculed and subjected to loss and desecration from our opponents and Earth's heroes, lowering our good name and standing and threatening the purpose and dream of H.I.V.E. academy! These are beings we should have triumphed easily over, but instead, we find ourselves insufficient and lacking in both training and cunning as we are beaten and subjugated numerous times with no future endeavor being any better than the previous! The Teen Titans, the Justice League, the Slayers, the Wyvern Gargoyles of New York, the Mighty Ducks, the Ghostbusters…all of these sickeningly noble groups as well as Brother Blood's downfall has shown us that we will not tolerate losses and embarrassments any longer from our defeats! If we are to succeed and maintain our legacy of future crime-lords and villainy, we must do whatever it takes! Which is why I am pleased to announce that we have new teaching assistants to aid us with our classes! Fellow students, welcome your superiors and student mentors…the Hellions!" (Author's notes)
"WHAT?" the audience chorused in disbelief.
The students gasped and murmured themselves and to each other with nervousness, anxiety and contempt as they and the instructors eyed the seven mutant teenagers up along the stage, standing side by side with the Headmistress of H.I.V.E., wearing smug, superior smiles in their Gucci and Banana Republic clothing, each of them wearing stylish outfits that had to range in costs of at least in the hundreds.
"Who are they?" asked Jinx with a frown as she eyed Bevatron, Monet, Beef, Tarot, Jetstream, Roulette and Empath with suspicion. Gizmo narrowed his beady little eyes.
"I've heard of these nose-pickers. They're some elitist mutant team, really prep-school and the like and they're rumored to have come from really snotty and filthy rich snobs of families. And these butt-munchers aren't pushovers and weaklings like the Teen Titans are! These stuck-ups are supposed to be really powerful," he said in a hard voice at last. Like the other H.I.V.E. students, he didn't take too kindly to newcomers.
"How powerful?" Jinx asked.
"They're probably in the same league and level with that sourpuss, Magneto and his pond-scum sucking Acolytes."
"Yeesh, that is bad," grumbled Mammoth as he sent a poisonous glare at the Hellion, Beef, "Geez, even I have my doubts from just looking at that big guy over there! He could be enough of a match for me!"
"Aw, you'll beat him like all the others, Baran!" piped up Selinda eagerly, her eyes sparkling and her voice full with adoration for her big brother, "You're the strongest person here! You could show those Hellions what you're made of and let 'em know they can't push us around!"
Mammoth smiled at Selinda while Gizmo muttered under his breath, "Sheesh, I'm surrounded by gut-wiggling prima-donnas. If it gets any sappier, I'm gonna hurl chunks."
The Headmistress' voice then cut through the chatter in the building in a final tone, ending the session.
"The additional rules and regulations that shall take into effect shall be discussed during your study period with your regular instructors where they will explain them in great detail. Any questions, feel free to ask any member of the staff. Until then, return to class! This meeting is now over and you are all dismissed!"
"I'm not so sure I like this," murmured Selinda uncomfortably as she and the others rose to walk out of the grand building and amble back to class along with the rest of the mob. Jinx didn't either, and she just kept nervously looking back at the Hellions as she and the other H.I.V.E. students ambled back to class. To her surprise, she could detect the faintest traces of knowing and smug looks on the Hellions' faces.
Meanwhile, her face hard and resentful, the Headmistress walked past the curtains and into the backstage, hidden from view and away from the prying eyes of the H.I.V.E. students or the disdainful snorts and conversations coming from the Hellions as they surveyed the faculty and student body with clear messages of condescension and disparagement. Still, the matron leader of H.I.V.E. had one last chore to do, and it was the one she most loathed. The elderly woman then stonily approached the two adults who were waiting silently and patiently for her to finish her address to the academy.
It was Lex Luthor and Emma Frost, the respective Black Rook and White Queen on the Hellfire Club.
"It is done; the Hellfire Club and the Hellions now have free reign and control over H.I.V.E. This address was the last of the formalities for my students and fellow staff," she stated with a bit of belligerent venom. Oh God, how much she would have loathed herself and the decision she had made had she had the precious foresight. Luthor smiled.
"See, my dear Headmistress? That wasn't so hard, and you'll find that you and your precious brood shall reap the benefits and greatness from the Hellfire's grace and influence. And the donations made by Lexcorp certainly didn't allow you to put up much of an argument since we discovered your brush with Chapter 13 bankruptcy…" he drawled.
"I'm surprised your former friend and the current CEO, Mercy Graves, didn't discover that Lexcorp was funding H.I.V.E. immediately once the transactions started. It is hard to miss a hole the size of several billion dollars," the Headmistress shot back in a passive aggressive move. The bald, powerfully built man smiled even wider.
"She is a completely ignorant fool if she didn't realize that I have access to a few secret accounts and funds that are drawn from Lexcorp's finances and stock-options. No one, not even my most trusted accountants and firms, have any knowledge about the accounts, so the charitable contributions will not show on any of the records or reports. You and your precocious academy of future villains are safe and are in good hands…"
"And are under your complete control and mercy…" said the Headmistress in an aggrieved and bitter voice before she could stop herself. Emma Frost raised an eyebrow, amused.
"Temper, temper, my dear…" she said in a sweet, lofty voice, oozing like honey, "After all, did you not just say mere moments ago that H.I.V.E. must do whatever it takes to ensure their legacy and standing in the world, after your unbearable and mortifying and shameful defeats, note the use of the plural term, at heroes that even the Epsilon Hellions could take out with ease. You do want your students to triumph and succeed, don't you?"
The question came out as a hard accusation from the blond telepath's lips, and the Headmistress had no choice but to backpedal. There was no other option; H.I.V.E. was already in too far to rescind and back out of the deal by now.
"Of course not, Ms. Frost."
Luthor nodded as he and the White Queen turned and started to walk away, calling over his shoulder, "Good, then it is settled. The Hellions will give us periodic updates and progress reports on how H.I.V.E. is adjusting to our few, quaint changes and how well the contributions are faring with the Hellfire's…investments."
The way Luthor voiced that word alone made the Headmistress' hair stand on end as she clenched her hands into fists.
"Just remember, Headmistress," Emma added silkily as she and Luthor disappeared into the shadows, "We felt you and your students at H.I.V.E. were important for this mission against the Teen Titans…do not force the Hellfire Club to reconsider and recant its offer to protect you and your so-called 'prestigious academy' once the Armageddon arrives. Unless…you don't really give a damn about those brats of yours."
The Headmistress of H.I.V.E. just sullenly and resentfully stared at the White Queen's back, her face a mixture of hidden, worn-out sorrow and resignation and her mouth puckered into a thin line.
---
It was past midnight. The sky was a moon-less, dreary black with the softest tone of rosy red, blanketing the metropolis known as Jump City with a cover of fallacious peace. No stars, no light above…it was as if the darkness itself was about to declare a foreboding and imminent prophecy of doom and destruction to come. Yet the skyscrapers and the residents all just rested, dozed, or slowly ambled around in their homes, oblivious to it all. Which was why not even a single eyelid batted or a single head turned to look when a faint ripple in the sky appeared, causing a slight yet unnoticeable rift in the current dimension of Earth. Not even the detectors and sensitive electronic equipment at the Titan Tower, equipment that could even report if a firefly was about to invoke its glow, could sense the disturbance. With a soft noise, a figure plummeted out of the rift before the tear in time and space vanished as quickly as it once came.
With the most graceful of acrobatic moves, the figure landed on his feet with a soft pap on the rooftop of a nearby skyscraper, only startling a few sleeping pigeons, but otherwise, was well hidden and undetected on the abandoned roof. The figure was gigantic, upright, and even cloaked in the darkness, one would see the hulking and muscular form of the bare-chested figure and the weapon that was strapped to his back. The figure then sniffed the air warily before he groaned.
"By the Great Beast…" he muttered in a deep, lion-like voice, "It is coming…"
Author's note: Yep, you read right! As I have pointed out before, in this Misfit-verse, the Misfits, the X-Men and G.I. Joe are not the only freedom fighters on this planet and they're going to be in for some fun times with meeting other fellow heroes (eventually)! There IS a reason for this, but it won't be revealed until much, MUCH later, but I thought you guys might enjoy the mention. And as for the Teen Titans, I'm basing this story around the Raven-arc in Season Four! Trust me folks, you're not going to believe how much I'm going to twist this story with the Misfits and X-Men, including our mysterious visitor who you will discover later on! Next Friday, the X-Men, the Misfits, and G.I. Joe are visited during a typical day at the Institute by members of the Justice League who bring some very suspicious and disturbing news as we also take an additional look at the happenings of H.I.V.E. check back next Friday for the chapter, "Of Re-Cons And Wrecks", but until then, read, enjoy, and review!