Title: Numb
Author: Gilmoregirl7878
Disclaimer: nope
A/N: Okay, so I'm going through a really hard time right now. My best Friend and I just stopped being friends after four years, so I'm really upset. Actually, the last thing she said to me was 'fuck you' so, Yea... it sucks when the one person you thought you could trust stabs a knife in your back.
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The next morning Tristan woke up to an empty bed.
Rory was no where to be found in the Dorm.
He sighed heavily and got up to go to his own dorm, to get ready for his classes.
When he arrived in his dorm, he was in a daze and didn't notice Logan sitting at the kitchen table while he got himself a glass of water.
When he noticed Logan he subconsciously took a step back from him.
"Hey." He said quietly.
"You look like shit." Logan replied.
Tristan shook his head knowingly, sitting down
"Yea well, I had a pretty shitty night."
Logan looked at him slightly mad, at the thought of what of him upsetting Rory while she was pregnant, and also out of sympathy for a best friend.
"What happened?" He asked going with his latter of feelings.
"Rory's not pregnant." Tristan said in a pain-filled voice.
Logan was shocked. He wasn't just shocked at the fact that Rory wasn't pregnant, but also at the sadness that Tristan had over the news.
"Hey man." He said quietly, causing Tristan to look up at him.
"It's gonna be okay." Logan said.
To anybody else, this would have sounded like a awkward response.
But to Tristan it was just what he needed to hear, because Logan was saying so much more behind that.
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
Tristan was debating whether or not to ask where Finn was, because, if he knew Rory, she was with him right now.
As if Logan had read his mind.
"Finn didn't say where he was going." Logan said getting up and patting Tristan's shoulder on his way out the door.
Tristan nodded even though Logan had already left, before getting up and getting ready for his classes.
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Rory was sitting in Finn's car, sitting at a park, just listening to music.
Rory had told Finn that it had been a false alarm, and he immediately took her here.
He was waiting for her to be ready to talk. He knew she just needed time.
"Ya know, at first I thought that this was a horrible thing. That it would ruin everything that I had worked for. Then the next thing I thought about was how my Mom would be disappointed." She said with a bitter smile.
"The last thing that went through my mind, that I couldn't get out of my mind 'til I found out the truth was what Tristan would say. The more I thought about it, the more sure I was that he was going to bail. Wouldn't want anything to do with the baby or me."
She paused for a moment. Finn was rubbing the back of her hand soothingly.
"It was easier that way...to think that he would do that. Less disappointment."
She started to cry softly.
"When he found out about the pregnancy, he never said he didn't want anything to do with the baby, I realize that now. I was just so sure, Finn. So sure, that he would leave me. Then...he came to me and told me he wanted this baby and that I..I was the most important thing to him. That he would marry me, it broke my heart, Finn. He wanted this baby, and now he's heartbroken, and it's all my fault." When she saw Finn began to protest, she interrupted him. "It is, I overreacted and I was stupid and a little bit more stupid after that!" She said crying harder now, Finn hugging her.
"How am I supposed to face him now, Finn?" She asked quietly.
"Rory, this isn't any of your fault. You are the smartest person I know, so that means you are defiantly not stupid. You're smart and beautiful and you made a mistake. It's okay, people make mistakes, Love, you can too."
He said softly still holding her in his embrace.
"I shouldn't have." She whispered so quietly that Finn didn't hear.
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Over the next two days, Tristan didn't see Rory.
Not that he didn't try. He went over to her dorm at least five times a day, but Paris always opened the door and told him that Rory wasn't there, when he knew she really was.
He went to her classes, but Paris seemed to have taken care of that too, getting her work for her.
Finally, on the third day, he saw Rory walking his way with coffee in her hand, going to her class.
She hadn't seen him, so he pulled her aside.
"What the- Oh, Tristan." She said.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" Tristan asked getting straight to the point.
"I haven't bee-
"Don't give me that bullshit Rory, I think I deserve better than that from you." He said tiredly.
Rory didn't say anything, and avoided his eyes.
"Rory, I'm going through this too. I feel the pain that you do too. This could be easier if you talked to me, or just did anything to acknowledge me about this."
She didn't say anything.
"Listen Rory." He said, putting a finger under her chin, so she would look into his eyes.
"I know that this hurts, it hurts me too, and I can understand that you wanted space, but not at the cost of losing you. I want to be there for you, but you wont let me. We can get through this together, I promise you that. But you're shutting me out." Tristan finished sounding sad and tired.
Rory was crying slightly now, she forced her eyes away from his and looked at the ground, she wouldn't be able to get out the next words out if she looked at him.
"Tris..you deserve more than me-
"No! Rory don't even finish that sentence!" Tristan insisted, cutting her off.
"Listen to me Rory, you're it for me. I wouldn't want anyone else but you. I meant what I said yesterday, I love you more than life itself." He said hugging her.
She breathed in his scent, almost on the verge of not being guilt ridden for the first time in days.
"I want to marry you, Rory." Tristan said pulling back and looking at Rory expectantly.
Rory stood shocked.
She kissed him, not knowing she was crying until she tasted the salt on her lips, and looked at him one last time before running back to her dorm, collapsing when she got there.
Tristan didn't remember walking to his dorm, nor did he remember arriving there.
The next thing he knew he was on his bed.
He was numb.
The same numbness he felt in high school. The numbness that made him want to crawl out of his skin to get rid of the feeling of emptiness. The feeling brought back unwanted cold memories and feelings. The feeling you get when your nostalgic for something that you never had. You want something that you don't know what you want. The loneliness that overwhelms you so bad that It makes you want to cry, but you never would...
So Tristan, sat there, staring at his ceiling thinking about the blue eyed, coffee colored hair girl, and tried to understand her.
..Just like all those years ago...
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A/N: OKAY! So this chapter is...well, I'm in a dark place right now. I kinda went overboard with the 'feeling' paragraph, and I found myself not thinking of Tristan, but of me. That is what I feel all the time. See, I go to a school very similar to Chilton, and I have 'friends' very similar to the ones that Tristan had, ones that would tear you apart if they knew you had feelings and emotions. So you keep it covered up, and you don't let anyone get close enough to see them.
Okay, sorry, back to the story. It is coming an end soon, sadly, but all things must come to an ends sometime or other. I have a really good idea of what I'm going to do..hehe.