Author's Notes:

See Chapter I. The West Wing and all its characters (except ones invented by moi) belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells, NBC, and whoever – but not me.

Megan and Bex – thanks again. Keg of glory … coffee … finest bagels and muffins in all the land … you da man … you catch my drift.

DONNA FALLS INTO A HOLE

Chapter III

Donna placed her hand on the back of Toby's chair and addressed the room. "Anything else you want to accuse me of?"

Office of the White House Chief of Staff

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Morning

"There have been discrepancies in Josh's bank account," Bartlet told her. "Anyone else would have been fired immediately." Donna opened her mouth to defend herself. "And don't even think about giving me any sorry excuse that you were buying a disgruntled senator flowers. I know it doesn't take much effort for Joshua Lyman to antagonize Congress, but I don't think he's pissed anybody off recently."

Donna rolled her eyes. Why couldn't any of them understand? She needed the money more than Josh. He was Deputy Chief of Staff, for god sakes. With his hefty government salary, he could survive losing a few dollars here and there. Without her medication, she was in excruciating pain. "I may have borrowed some money for Christmas presents," she explained. "Sir." She added this as an afterthought. He's the President, a voice inside her head yelled. Show the man the respect his position demands. She wanted to tell the voice to fuck off.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady," the President continued. "Name one government official who received flowers from Josh's account in the last month. I'd like to verify it with their office. I'd also like to take a peek at the receipts of the gifts you purchased." She glared at the man and remained silent.

"What medicines are you taking?" CJ asked when it became apparent the young woman was refusing to answer the President's questions.

"Vicodin, Percocet, Valium, and Zoloft," she replied. "All prescribed by a doctor."

"How many doctors?" Josh asked. As many as it takes to get my damn pills.

"None of your damned business!"

"You've got nothing to be ashamed of, Donna," Leo assured her. "Lord knows you're not the first person to develop an addiction to painki …"

"You're the addict, Leo, not me!" she snapped. The former Chief of Staff – the one man who should know better than to participate in this vicious attack – winced.

"Listen to us, Donna," Josh implored. "You need help."

"So I'm supposed to take advice from a man who can't tell the difference between Christmas music and sirens?" She saw her boss and best friend flinch, but chose to ignore his discomfort. "You're just jealous because I found a way to deal and you didn't," she spat.

"The painkillers don't help you cope," Leo tried to explain. "All they do is numb the pain until you feel even more out of control than you were before you started taking the drugs."

Communications Bullpen

Sometime in the Last Four Months

CJ Cregg walked briskly through her old haunt, searching for a certain Communications Director. Under her arm was a folder with the notes Toby would need for his meeting with Senator Ricardo (arranged beautifully by her able-bodied assistant). She always enjoyed a good excuse to tease her friend. Annabeth – by asking his ex-wife what she found attractive about him – gave her the perfect opportunity. Of course, if there was time, she wanted to prep him for the Ricardo meeting.

"You were amazing in there," a high-pitched voice praised her friend from inside his closed office.

"I felt like an idiot!" Toby responded.

"A few more times, you'll feel like a natural," she assured him.

CJ grinned and chose to give Annabeth a few more minutes to torment him. The Deputy Press Secretary was right – Toby was improving since his first briefing. He was a writer – that meant he felt most comfortable behind the scenes, not in the spotlight. She decided to bide her time by visiting Josh.

"Hey, Donna, is Josh back yet?" she asked.

She heard the young woman suppress a sniffle. "No," Donna answered brusquely.

"Are you okay?"

Donna nodded. "I'm f- I'm fine." Her voice caught in her throat.

"You sound like you've been crying," CJ commented. She knelt down and lifted Donna's chin so it was facing her. Sure enough, the blond woman's face was streaked with tears.

"What's wrong, Donna?"

"I spilled coffee on my desk."

The Chief of Staff glanced at the desk. One tiny spot was covered with a piece of paper towel. Is this what you and Josh would call 'having a nutty?' "Is that all? Looks like you got most of it," she tried to assure her friend.

"I'm a klutz! I'm a fucking klutz!" She banged a fist against the desk several times for emphasis.

CJ grabbed a nearby chair and dragged it next to the distraught woman. "Donna, you're not the first person to spill coffee on their desk." But you are the first person I've met to fall to pieces over it.

"Yes I am! I shouldn't be here. The coffee's gonna stain the desk. Important people walk by this desk every day. What if this reflects badly on Josh?" By now, Donna was sobbing uncontrollably. "They'll go against him and it'll be all my fault."

What the hell do I do? The COS wondered. She was fairly certain her friend was on the verge of a breakdown – if she wasn't already having one at this very moment. Just go along with her, she told herself. Trying to assure her otherwise would be futile. "I won't let them," she promised. "If anyone tries to punish Josh for your spilled coffee, let me know. I'll deal with it."

"Don't you get it?" Donna screamed. "You can't 'deal with it!' The president's gonna fire him. I represent Josh; Josh represents President Bartlet and everything this Administration stands for. If I don't have it together, people will assume Josh is incapable of being Deputy Chief of Staff and that Jed Bartlet is incapable of presiding over this country."

"Yes, because you have power over Josh Lyman," CJ commented dryly.

Donna hiccupped and swallowed the remnants of her sobs before bursting into loud guffaws. "I have power over Josh Lyman? I actually have power over Josh Lyman? This is … this is … this is great!" She grinned at a slack-jawed Chief of Staff and rubbed her hands together. "One little coffee spill, and I ruin his life. Don't you love that? Don't you just love it?"

CJ looked up and noticed, for the first time, the crowd gathered in the Communications Bullpen, staring at – what would appear to them – the deranged woman in their midst. "Everyone get back to work!" She ordered. She placed her hand on Donna's shoulder. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off."

The blonde woman shook her head. "Can't. No can do. Gotta set up an appointment with some senator (or was it some dude from NASA?). I'm very very busy today. Can't rest. Lot of work to do. If I skip town today, Josh is gonna hang me. No! He'll slit my throat. Maybe even hack …"

"I overrule Josh," CJ interrupted before Donna had a chance to expand on Josh's possible homicidal tendencies. "Go home. Take a nice hot bath and sleep for a few hours." No, no question about it at all – Donna's having a nervous breakdown.

Later that day, when Josh returned from mopping the floor with pompous Republican senators, he was ordered to CJ's office.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Donna," CJ told him. "I found her crying hysterically because she spilled coffee on her desk."

"Did it get on any papers?"

"It was one tiny spot," she explained. "Nowhere near the papers."

He chuckled. "Sounds like Donna. Makes a big deal about everything." His voice sobered. "She's been under a lot of stress lately. Don't worry – I'll talk to her."

"I sent her home."

His head snapped up. "You what? Why? I need her today."

"She was having a nervous breakdown. I don't think she'd be of much use to you anyway."

Office of the White House Chief of Staff

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Morning

"I was having a bad day," Donna explained. At the shaking of heads, she barked: "What? You people have never had a fucking bad day in your entire lives?" She scoffed. "I find that so hard to believe."