Billy picked up the framed photo he kept of his parents shortly after they were married and started to run his hands over it. He sighed and clutched the photo as he looked at his brother. Something in his mind turned over at that. Alex was his brother, not his cousin as he- NO they had been led to believe. The anger at having been deceived this whole time returned ten- fold.. .. unfortunately for his father, it was an anger that would not be sated by mere words of apology and promises of making things better.
Billy put down the picture and paced until he heard a knock on the door. He looked up as his- no THEIR- father entered the room. He had the look of a man walking the last mile. Before his father could say a word, Billy crossed the room in a blind rage and lifted the man from the floor by the throat, pinning him to the wall. Alex vainly tried to free his father from the choke-hold, but no avail. Finally, he resorted to street tactics and brought up his knee up with just enough force to make Billy let go.
Releasing his father, Billy whimpered in pain and shock. Curling into a ball on the floor, he asked, "Whose side are you on Alex? In case you hadn't noticed he betrayed us, not just me, but you too."
Lance stood back and gasped for air as he surveyed his sons. His attempt at a "thank you" to Alex was stopped cold by the glacier-like tone of Alex's voice, "Don't thank me. I didn't do it out of compassion for you. I merely would not like Billy in jail for justifiable homicide." Turning to his fallen brother, his tone softened, "Billy, that was the only way I could get you off of him --- despite what you feel now, choking him to death won't get us any answers and it WILL get you 20 to life. My apologies for taking such drastic measures to separate you two." Turning back to the room in general he added, "Now if you don't mind, can we get going with this talk?"
Alex sat back in the recliner by the window, while Billy crawled onto the bed and sat still trying to focus on what Alex was saying. Lance looked from one young man to the other, and wondered if they could ever get past all this. The answer his mind kept coming up with was a resounding, "NO," but he had to at least try. He hated seeing his sons suffer like this, and realized deep down that he was the cause of a lot of it. He sat in a chair and looked out the window dreading the confession of his own infidelity.
"Sometime today Lance. We have better things to do than watch you formulate your thoughts." Alex said, his disdain, anger and frustration showing plainly on his face.
"Well if I had had some time to prepare for this, I could just rattle it off chapter and verse Alexander. Excuse me for not having a script prepared." Lance said with such bitterness, he was surprised Billy didn't come after him again.
"To put it colloquially," Billy said, "Bullshit, you knew about all of this all of our lives. You had to have known we'd find out eventually, so you have had seventeen point five years to prepare for this eventuality. I find it difficult to believe you can just sit there and admonish him because he didn't give what you would consider justifiable warning! You did not deign to warn or prepare us, so, you have no right to expect such consideration from us. Either you begin to explain yourself or I am vacating the premises, not to return until you are prepared to be honest with us. For example: What were your reasons for being unfaithful to Mother?"
Lance sighed, he knew he was wrong and hearing it didn't help him feel any better about what he deemed a necessary deception. "Fine, you're correct William. I don't deserve that from either of you. In hiding this from you, I have done a horrible thing and I apologize again."
"In regards to the affair that produced Shanna. --- Well, I'm sorry and we've all been paying for my mistake ever since. I was young when your mom and I married, I shouldn't have rushed into it, neither one of us had really lived in the sense of getting to know what life was like outside of family, school and ourselves." He sighed and took a deep breath, "I fell for the charms of an older woman who thought getting some action from a naïve young man would be fun. Too bad she didn't realize she was still quite fertile and able to conceive. She was under the impression she was past the child bearing stages."
"I believed her, I didn't know any better than to question it. In truth she believed it, but never had it confirmed by her physician. We had decided to end it about a couple of weeks before she found out she was pregnant. I refused to believe it until her doctor called me. I fainted, freaked out and drove around in circles for hours before I went home. It really threw me for a loop considering that we were trying so hard to have a child and kept failing."
"Rachel was pretty sharp and knew something was wrong since I was late and I had that look on my face. She decided to let me tell her in my own time. I told her the truth, just not with me in the starring role. I knew my marriage would be over if I told her about the affair and the child."
Billy hopped up and started to pace the room. The more he heard of Lance's explanation the more agitated he became. The fact that his father had impregnated older woman and lied about it was upsetting him for reasons he couldn't fully understand. Alex put his hand on Billy's arm in an attempt to calm the turmoil he saw boiling in his brother's eyes. "Sit down William. You can verbally beat him down once he's done." Alex indicated the chair next to him so that he could at least have a chance at nabbing Billy if he jumped up and went after their father again. Turning back to Lance he said, "Would you continue?" as he leaned back in the chair and waited Lance's next words
Lance sighed and sat up as he gathered his thoughts before he continued on. "I pretended I was helping a friend out with a problem as the other woman and I discussed whether she should actually having the child or not--- finally neither one of us could stomach the idea of an abortion. We agreed that I would help her support the child, and Rachel would never know. It went well until she was killed in an airplane crash. I couldn't just let Shanna become a ward of the court. So we took her in as you know William."
Alex sighed and stretched---"Ok, now that we know that you had no self- control when you were first married, how about back-tracking to when we were conceived. That is a story I would really love to hear, Lance." Alex sat back and tried to bore a hole into his father with his gaze.
Lance sighed and stretched out for a moment before launching into his tale. "We had been trying to have kids for a long time, and when Rach finally got pregnant we found out she was having twins. It was a blessing and a curse for us, since we really couldn't afford two kids on what we were making. The delivery room charges alone would have put us in the poorhouse.
But my brother Dave and his wife found out they couldn't conceive--- we saw it as a way to alleviate our problem, help my brother and keep both of you.
It was so hard to do though once Rach gave birth to you boys. I cried when Dave came to get you Alex; Rachel locked herself in our room for hours once he left. We eventually adjusted to having just you William, but it was so hard to deal with for the first couple of years. We should have realized you both would figure it out, but when you didn't we got so comfortable in the lie-we couldn't picture telling you. Then when Rach was killed, it was too much to even think about losing you both." Lance finished as he stood up and paced the room, he was careful to stay out of Billy's reach and hopefully Alex's as well.
For long moments, no one spoke. Alex stood and faced his father, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side, as he desperately fought the urge to slap his father. His control finally winning out he turned and left the room silently. Billy stood, crossed the room to his father and whispered in his ear, "Great job Dad lets see you talk your way out of this one. I don't know if we'll ever forgive you for this- ever." Turning, Billy left the room to search for Alex. He found him standing in the front doorway as if he had run into a wall. There, on the porch was Shanna and she looked as if someone had slapped her as well. Billy growled softly under his breath, turned to leave by the back door when she shouted at him to stop.
"Billy! Please don't leave. I ran all the way here from my friend's place. Alex, Billy can we please go talk?" Shanna pleaded with the boys hoping that at least one of the boys would listen to her. Alex gave her a malicious and disdainful look before turning to Billy to find out what he wanted to do. Both young men were emotionally exhausted, but it seemed to be a night of culminations. Either there would be reconciliation or destruction of what was left of their lives this night.
Billy crossed his arms and beckoned her inside with his head, "Why are you here Shanna? What possessed you to run all the way here? Why do you even care if we live or die, YOU---" Billy pointed in her face for emphasis--- "Wished me dead a hundred times over since I've known you or rather of you. You wished my mother dead." A bitterness and deep hurt came into his voice, "I guess you're happy you got your wish. Now, tell me what prompted you to come here out of the blue."
Shanna sighed as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. "I ran into his --- wife while I was out. She tried to be all friendly towards me, as you know that doesn't work on me. I was being flip and asked why she wasn't tethered to dad as usual and she told me you were here talking about this whole mess. I ran over as fast as I could, I hoped I wouldn't miss you. I've been thinking about this whole situation since last week." She looked down, her voice echoing a deep hurt in her own voice- a hurt that said volumes about the truth, "I finally accepted what I had done wrong and figured I'd make an attempt at making peace with you. As the saying goes, I know it's a day late and a dollar short, but if I don't try I'll fail right? Please let's go somewhere and have coffee and talk?"
Billy stood there for what seemed like forever before he finally gave her a curt nod of agreement. "Alex can we take your car please? I know of a place close to Stone Canyon we can go to talk, but I'm going to need more than coffee for this." Billy grabbed his jacket and returned to the living room as his father entered the room.
"Hello Shanna. What brings you here?" Lance asked as both boys glared at him. Without another word, Lance looked down and headed toward the den. "Never mind, I don't think it's going to be a good night for any of us." Looking up he suddenly added, "Boys, all I can say again is that I'm sorry and hopefully you will be able to forgive me eventually. Have fun, I'll talk to you later." None of the Cranston's answered him as they left for the D-Lux Diner on the border of Stone Canyon and Angel Grove.
William, Jase, and Rocky were wandering around the Stone Canyon Mall in an effort to get some necessities- especially clothing. William stopped at the window of a salon and was perusing the array of styles in the window. He had been thinking about the fact that there were three Cranston's running around Angel Grove. He and Billy could pass for twins and then there was Alexander. While he had no idea how much alike they were, he didn't relish the idea of being mistaken for either boy for the remainder of his life.
Coming up behind him, Jase looked over his shoulder at the styles William was considering. "What are you thinking about doing? You look fine."
William smiled at the compliment. "Thanks, but there are three of us running around now and much as I like Billy, I don't want to be mistaken for him. I was thinking of letting it grow out and go back to its natural color. You know I'm not a natural blonde." Will joked as they continued on their way.
"I know, you're too smart to be a real blonde." Looking around he said, "We should stop and get some food for dinner. Were you able to get us set up with a credit and job history?"
William smiled at Jason's question. "No love, I need to have some help from Billy." Tapping his head, he said, "Speaking of which: he is royally pissed off right now. I wonder if he would be receptive to any messages?" William mused aloud as they wandered around the mall. Billy, can you hear me?
Billy stopped in mid-sentence as he picked up Will's thought. Not now, I'll call you later, sort of in the middle of something He continued as if nothing had happened, but his brother and half-sister noticed that he had faltered in his speech.
"Billy, what is wrong with you? You totally spaced for a minute?" Alex queried as he stabbed at his sundae.
Billy smiled at his brother and shrugged. "Nothing, total lack of concentration for a moment. I lost my momentum for whatever I was saying. I think this is the most I've said in one day in my whole life. What was I talking about anyway?" Billy lied as he contemplated his slice of chocolate cake. He really wasn't that hungry but he needed something to do with his hands so he wouldn't throttle anyone. He didn't understand where all this anger was coming from. Yes, he'd been lied to, he'd been deceived by people whom he'd trusted, but there was something else- something deeper to this fury that threatened to engulf him mind and soul. It was starting to scare him.
Shanna cleared her throat and spoke up. Even though it had been her idea to seek them out, now that they were actually all together she was a little bit nervous. "Um, we uh were talking about the whole fiasco with dad. How I was a royal brat and how I made your life a living hell."
Billy smiled thinly at that. There was no love lost between him and Shanna. As it stood if he saw her on fire he wouldn't spit on her to put her out. "Yeah, you were hell on wheels Shanna. I wondered what I had done to deserve what you were putting me through. Now I know, and for what it's worth I'm sorry for the loss of your mother." Billy said as he took a small bite of his cake and looked at his coffee. He remembered what he had said earlier about needing more than coffee for this talk. He sighed and wished he were anywhere but there. All he wanted was to curl up and cry like a baby.
Both Alex and Shanna noticed his demeanor and odd behavior. "Thank you Bill for your condolences. I'm so sorry I ever said the horrible things I said about your mom. I know she loved you dearly and I made life hell for everyone involved at the time. I would like to get to know you both. You're my family and right now your all I have." Shanna finished as she toyed with her ice cream. None of them were really hungry, but it seemed odd to go to a diner and not order something.
Alex nibbled at his sundae while he thought about the total one hundred eighty degree turn their lives had taken in the last few days. "Shanna, the past is just that. We need to think about the future and how this is going to affect all of us. I can't fathom even going back to Chicago and facing them. I'd blow my top like Billy did at him earlier. Dammit it all to hell, I think it's finally starting to hit me." Alex said as he pushed his food away and laid his head down on the table.
Neither Billy nor Shanna knew what to say, so they let him be for the moment.
Meanwhile, William was concerned because of Billy's curt answer and the fact that they are just meandering around the mall at this point. "Jase, Rocko, mind if we call it a night? We're only wandering aimlessly now." William said as he let his mind wander around to sense what was up with Billy. Jase shrugged and looked to Rocko for affirmation.
"Sure luv, we should think about dinner anyway." Jason said as he steered them toward the exit. William sighed, as he was unable to get anything from Billy.
"Alex, Billy like I said--- I want to make amends. I know it wont be easy but for now we need to stick together. I'm willing to make the effort if you guys are." Shanna said as she nabbed the check for them. "Let me, after all I dragged you here this time of night. Here is my info in case you decide we can start over." Shanna paid their tab as both young men followed her out to the car.
Billy was silent as he climbed into the front seat and leaned back against the headrest. Alex dropped Shanna off and then waited for Billy to give him some direction on where he wanted to be dropped off. "Bill? Are you going to Jason's or Forest Creek?" Alex queried as he headed towards Jason's place, figuring that Billy wouldn't want to drive that far so late at night. Billy lifted his head and looked to see where they were headed.
"Jason's please." was all he said as he let his head fall back against the headrest. He was on the verge of a "Grade A" breakdown and didn't want Alex to witness it. He only wanted to climb into bed and scream his frustration into a pillow until he was hoarse. Arriving at Jason's, Billy climbed out of the car without saying anything to his brother.
"Bill? Do you need me to come in with you?" Alex said as he stopped the car to let Billy out.
Billy sighed and rubbed at his eyes before giving a tired sounding "no" to Alex.
Alex gave him a long look before he agreed to let Billy off the hook for now. "Very well. Call me if you need me ok?"
Billy shrugged it off and gave Alex a thin smile as he headed toward the door. "I'll do that if I need to bro'." Saying nothing more he entered the Scott residence to find Jason on the couch sound asleep. Going over, Billy gently nudged him to wake up. "I'm back Jase, wake up and let's get some sleep."
Jase smiled up at him and rubbed his eyes, "You wake a guy up to tell him to go to sleep? You're evil, Billy." The gentle humor in his voice was like a balm to Billy's soul. They went upstairs and collapsed into Jason's bed until late into the next morning.