Bleu Soliloqui
Chapter 15?
BleuWoulfe & Cobalt-Blue
Fair warning, Slash, A/U versions of some of our rangers. Rated R for language and angst.
Thanks to Cobalt Blue for the inspiration for continuing, and for contributing to this fic and to my growth as a writer. I'm naming him co-author… since we've collaborated so much on the last few chapters.
"You know, if your mom had heard you in that battle, Rocky wouldn't be the only one getting his mouth washed out with soap."
"I know Kim, I know. I feel so bad for what I said to Billy. I thought he was going to slap me for a second."
Kim smiled up at her boyfriend, "I think Billy understood that you were under the influence of that creature. I think he may be coming out of his shell a bit though."
"I do too... I just hope he deals with everything in his own time and not let anyone rush him. I need to talk to him once he's up to it. I've been a real asshole to him."
Putting her arm through his, she quietly walked beside him for long moments. "I know. I'm worried that the whole mess going on with his dad is going to blow up in all our faces. You said that his step brother was chasing after you. What did he want? I mean what kind of hanging," she made little quotation marks with her free hand, " did he want to do?"
Tommy glanced at the ground before answering..."He wanted to get the old gang back together... and I wasn't interested in i."
Kim nodded, "How are you going to deal with him and Billy being stepbrothers? I mean you still have to work with Billy."
"I know... it didn't seem like he was too thrilled with the idea himself. I won't mistreat Billy for Dante. He can kiss my ass if he thinks I'll toss away my friendships and the life I have now."
Kim looked up at him, "Good, because Billy's important to me too." She blushed a moment, "And he's important to Jason- very important, if you know what I mean."
"I gathered that from the way Jason looked at Billy before we went into battle." Tommy said as he gave Kim a wry smile.
"You should have seen the way they looked at each other last week at the cabin." Kim felt herself blushing at the scene of two of her oldest friends locked in that impassioned scene she'd witnessed.
Tommy quirked an eyebrow at Kim's statement... "What exactly happened at the cabin?"
Kim pulled her arm out of Tommy's and walked beside him quietly for a few moments.
"Let's just say, I teleported in unannounced when I should have announced myself." She shook her head and smiled as she looked at Tommy, "You know when you said that Jason can take it like a man?" She waited for his nod, "Well, you're right. He CAN take it like a man."
Tommy stopped mid stride... "Kim! I didn't need to know all that." Tommy pulled a face somewhere between amused, shocked and galled.
Kim smiled to herself at Tommy's reaction. It was exactly what she'd expected, and what she was trying elicit. Looking down demurely, she simply said, "Sorry."
"I hope you told them that. I can't see Billy being ok with you catching them like that. As private as he can be sometimes..." Tommy walked a little further in silence... then asked her something he was itching to find out.
"I did."
Since Billy was firmly ensconced in his private world of Jason Scott, Tommy wanted to know if Kim had ever liked Billy or carried some kind of torch for her best male friend.
Tommy nodded at her admission of apology, but he wanted to know what, if anything had happened between her and Billy. Or if things had remained platonic all the time.
He walked slowly, not sure how to breach the subject without causing Kim to go ballistic again. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait too long for her to wonder what was making him wander so slowly with her down their usual path.
"Tommy, what's wrong? You seem like your itching to ask me something but you haven't. Go on, ask me." Kim looked up at him earnestly, and awaited his question.
Tommy took a deep breath and decided to spit it out. "I…. I um wanted to know if there was ever anything between you and Billy, like more than friends kind of anything." Tommy said in one rushed sentence and cringed inwardly, he figured Kim would be outraged that he even asked such a thing. Instead she smiled and reached up and kissed him before answering.
"No, nothing ever happened between us except switching bodies once due to a scientific experiment that got out of control. I love him, but not like that Tommy. Relax, he's not a threat to you like that… and Jason would have anyone's head who dared to make a move on Billy." Kim looped her arm in Tommy's and pulled him along their usual route. Tommy grinned as he picked up the pace, and took Kim's hand to lead them.
"I know, I realized that when Jase took him out of the Command Centre the other day. I feel bad for anyone who ever tries to tear them apart. I'm glad their happy together, honestly I am. I'm done being Mafioso Tommy, I'm sure all of you are glad of it." Tommy said in a self depreciating tone while they walked further along the path into the park.
While they caught up on missed time, Billy was at Jason's place again, watching him work out and thinking on how he could help William and the other Jason in their new lives. From what he'd gleaned from his conversations with William, they had jobs and a place together in San Diego, and were coping, not doing very well but coping. He looked up to see Jason toweling off after a grueling work out and coming towards him. Jason had been pushing himself too hard lately, especially since the other Rocky's demise.
"Jase, why have you been so intense lately? I've noticed you've been pushing yourself really hard during your work outs and it's not like you've got anything to prove to anyone, and its not like you need to reach some goal.
Please, Jase tell me what's bothering you? Turnabout is fair play; after all you're always after me to tell people what's bothering me. So, spill it Scott." Billy gave him a stern look from his perch on the floor and waited for an answer.
Jason sighed and tossed down the towel before he folded himself Indian style in front of Billy and took his hands. He didn't know what was pushing him so hard lately, not on the surface. He knew it had to do with their loss and his fear of losing Billy to the same fate as the other Rocky. His emotions were playing havoc with his head, and he let his heart speak for him when he finally opened up.
"I guess its seeing Rocky die made it real for me, to know that we can die doing this, we are at risk. I… I don't want to lose you Bill. I don't want to deal with losing you like that. It still haunts me; it still makes me wake up with a scream on my lips as I see it over and over in my dream, only ten times worse than the reality. It just gets to me, and seeing you here and whole makes me quite thankful for you being here still."
Jason rubbed his thumbs over Billy's knuckles, noticed how his hands were rough yet tender and exuded strength. He placed a gentle kiss on each palm, and then tried to collect himself enough to go on. Billy didn't let him say too much, as he leaned over and kissed Jason with a quiet passion that stilled the other boy, and conveyed what Billy couldn't put into words at the moment. He pulled Jason into a fierce hug and held on to him for a long time, not speaking just savoring the moment.
After a while Jason pulled back and rubbed at his eyes, which were damp from their embrace. Billy wiped at his eyes as well, trying to conceal the fact that he had been so touched by that moment of stillness between them. He kissed Jason again, and leaned into it, not caring if anyone walked in on them, Jason was his and he wanted to claim him as such. Luckily for them, no one walked in on their passionate exchange and Billy stopped, took a moment to breathe and then wrapped his hands in Jason's before speaking again.
"Jase, you know I'm not good with discussing my feelings nor am I good at talking about these things, especially with what's been going on with me…but rest assured that you won't lose me. Even if we should be separated by death you won't lose me. Don't let this consume you Jase, and don't let the possibility of what could happen get you so worked up. What happens just happens. I've had to accept that for what it is; otherwise I'd never had been able to accept mom's death. I'm not over it, but I've accepted it for what it is. A tragic accident that robbed the world of some of its light, and destroyed me but it was still a tragedy."
Jason hugged Billy fiercely again, then stood up and offered his hand to Billy to pull him up. "I know your right Billy, but the wound is too fresh, it's only been a week and none of us have really dealt with it. William and the other Jason are holed up in San Diego, Tommy and Kim are off trying to cope with their problems, and I have no idea what the others are up to since we lost him. I know everyone has to be hurting in some way, but none of us has dealt with it." Jason spoke softly as he embraced Billy, it was almost like he didn't want to let the Blue Ranger to get further away than arms length, and to be sure he was still there.
Little did the Rangers know, their mentor had been observing them in the week since Rocky's demise, to be sure they were dealing with what happened. Unfortunately not all of them were coping well with their loss. He decided to take action, lest this tragedy tore the team to shreds. Zordon decided that they needed a weekend away, from their parents, friends and other family, especially in Billy's case to discuss what happened. He summoned them to the command centre, and everyone responded albeit a bit warily.
There was no monster alarm blaring, so they wondered what was going on. William looked like he'd been woken from some much needed rest, the other Jason was glowering at the tube that held Zordon's image. Tommy and Kim looked nervous, while Rocky, Aisha, Adam, Zack and Trini looked surprised to be there at all. Billy looked up at Zordon, wondering precisely he was up to.
"Zordon, why have we been summoned when there is no attack going on?"
"BILLY, I HAVE BEEN OBSERVING ALL OF YOU FOR THE LAST WEEK, AND I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU ALL. SINCE ROCKY WAS NOT OFFICIALLY PART OF THIS REALITY, IT IS HARD TO MOURN HIM WITHOUT GIVING AWAY YOUR IDENTITIES, OR YOUR ASSOCIATION WITH THE POWER RANGERS. I AM SENDING YOU ALL ON A WEEKEND TRIP.
I ASK THAT YOU TAKE THIS TIME TO DISCUSS WHAT HAS OCCURRED, AND DISCUSS OTHER EVENTS THAT HAVE THREATENED THE HARMONY OF THE TEAM. MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO BE GONE FOR THE WEEKEND WITH YOUR FAMILIES. I WILL PROVIDE THE LOCATION TO YOU AS WELL AS SUPPLIES. ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?"
The rangers were a little too stunned to speak at the moment. None of them had expected Zordon to force them to work on their issues like this, and not command them to just get it together in such a short time.
Jason looked at Billy then back to Zordon before he finally spoke up.
"Zordon, what good do you think this will do? Why can't we mourn in private as we've been doing? Forcing us to talk probably will not work, as each of us is dealing with it in our own ways."
"JASON, I APPRECIATE YOUR CANDOR. HOWEVER, I AM NOT FORCING YOU TO TALK. WHETHER OR NOT YOU ALL DEAL WITH IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. I AM PROVIDING A CHANCE FOR YOU ALL TO MEET AND DISCUSS THESE ISSUES AS A TEAM AND AS FRIENDS. MONDO HAS TAKEN A BIG LOSS WITH THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS LATEST CREATION, WE CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE SUCH DISPARITY IN THE TEAM IF WE ARE TO CONTINUE TO WIN AGAINST THE THREAT OF KING MONDO."
William snorted rudely at the mention of them working things out as friends. "That's funny Zordon. You speak as if we are all age old pals. I know for a fact that our presence was not needed or wanted at the time we asked for assistance, nor was that assistance given without a fight. My grief is my own to deal with. I do not need forced group therapy to deal with my loss. Least of all with someone who could not get past what happened to another version of himself in my former plane of reality. Now, if you'll excuse us I was getting some much needed sleep that I was pulled out of for this farce."
William moved to teleport out, but his Jason stayed his hand. "Wait Will, give them a chance to discuss things. No one said you that had to discuss Rocko, nor would you want to. There are other issues at hand, not merely our loss, and it was our loss not just yours."
William let his hand drop, trying to read the unspoken words in his lover's eyes as he spoke quietly and fiercely to William. "Only because you wish it Jase, only for you." William growled under his breath and stood with his arms crossed and glaring at the floor.
Billy didn't look too pleased either, but he figured they were stuck and if their cohesiveness was at risk, it didn't hurt to at least try to work some things out. Like the problem between him and Tommy. His Jason had let his hand wander to Billy's shoulders in a protective gesture while he pondered the coming weekend.
Adam, Aisha and Rocky were quiet, they knew things needed to be resolved and almost looked forward towards chipping away some of the tension that had surrounded everyone in the last weeks. Trini and Zack shrugged then turned to Zordon as well.
"Ok, why did you pull us back here Zordon? We've been at the Peace Conference and aren't even sure what you're referring to." Trini asked as she leaned back and noticed how close Billy and Jason were to each other. She also noticed the way Aisha kept near Rocky, almost like she had to convince herself he was still there.
"AS MEDIATORS IN A WAY TRINI AND ZACK. YOU TWO HAVE KNOWN KIM, JASON, AND BILLY THE LONGEST OF ANYONE HERE. YOU WERE ALSO TWO OF THE ORIGINAL RANGER TEAM. I THINK YOUR KNOWLEDGE CAN BE OF USE AS WELL AS LENDING SUPPORT TO YOUR TEAM MATES. I WILL SUMMON YOU ALL AGAIN ON SATURDAY MORNING, UNLESS YOU WOULD PREFER TO MEET HERE THE NIGHT BEFORE.
TAKE THE TIME BEFORE THIS TRIP TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS AMONGST YOURSELVES. MAY THE POWER PROTECT YOU ALL. "
Zordon's tube darkened, leaving the rangers wondering how bad things had gotten to get Zordon involved in their non-rangering lives. Billy and Jase shrugged it off as something that needed to be done; the others had started to chat amongst themselves about what this could mean for them as a team and as friends. William was leveling a nuclear grade glare at Tommy while his Jason shook his head and walked over to his double to chat. Billy gave Tommy a glance before he wandered over to William and pulled him aside.
"Look, I know you don't want to do this and from the sound of it none of us are too keen on the idea; but nothing will be resolved if you don't stop throwing daggers every time you lay eyes on Tommy. He is not the same asshole that tormented you in your world. Here, he's a good man, our team leader and on occasion a real jack ass when it comes to some things. I know you don't want him judging you for what happened on your world, but you are doing the same to him."
William rolled his eyes and yawned. "I am not doing the same thing. I am treating him as he treated me. He could not get past what happened on my world and treated me like an enemy for it. I am returning the favor. Normally, I'd enjoy this conversation but I am dog tired. I'm going back to bed for a while. If you and Jason are up for it, why not come down for dinner or a late lunch?" William stifled another yawn then let his Jason know he was headed home for a bit.
"Ok, I'll be along in a little while. Sleep well my love." Jason kissed him soundly before waving off his teleportation beam and turning back to his double, who was shocked that he would be so open with his expressions of affection with William.
"Aren't you worried you'll be harassed for being so out in the open? At least in this reality?" Jason said as he found Billy at his side and a slightly calloused hand slipping into his.
"Nope, we could care less. After all, what do we have to lose? We spent too much time fighting for this, for us to give a care about other's narrow mindedness. We have more important things to worry about here, like survival. Don't let moments slip past you both, as we know time is short and should be preserved for what it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to a warm bed and a sleepy Panther." The other Jason gave them a saucy wink then teleported out.
Billy gave Jase a small grin before he squeezed his hand and went to chat with Trini and Zack. He was glad to see them, and didn't want to waste a chance to catch up. Jason wound up with Tommy at his side, just observing the others in their group of friends. He acknowledged Tommy with a nod of his head, then spoke softly to his old friend.
"Guess we really bollixed things up if Zordon feels the need to step in Tommy. I don't see how we let things get so far out of control." Jason said with a trait of bitterness in his voice that Tommy felt more than he could say.
"Correct that bro'. It was I who made a good portion of this mess what it is now. As a pink crane pointed out to me, I was getting a little too big for my gi. We'll make it right, somehow bro… we will."
Tommy nodded to Jason before joining the others. Jason leaned against the console and observed his friends, all of them… but Billy in particular. He hadn't seen his Wolf so animated in weeks and it was nearly a miracle to see anything on his face other than a scowl for what he was dealing with at home and with the team. Jason smiled before he pushed off and went to join his friends, thinking that perhaps they would be ok after all.