The Hammer of Thor, Part II: Short Swim, Long Story

By C. Mage

Just my luck. I find Lara after days of being without her, I now have plenty of time to tell her what I feel, and she thinks I'm dead. If I even try to tell her the truth, she'll soon be right. "Now, please be careful with that," he said clearly, hoping that his voice, even altered, might strike a chord somewhere in her memory.

Luck was not with him. "Oh, do trust me, I am more than capable of controlling this weapon. If I blow your head off, it will not be an accidental shooting. How 'accidental' I feel will depend solely upon your ability to bring me to the Thorsdrapa. The unabridged version, thank you."

Think fast, wabbit. "I'm afraid that's impossible, miss."

"You have three seconds to explain that sufficiently." She cocked the hammer back. "And only three."

"It's not on the shelves!"

Lara paused. "Do I look like someone in the mood for humor?"

"I am quite serious. If you will allow me to show you…"

"Be quick about it!"

"Right, right…" David went to the computer and pulled up the location of the scrollcase's intended location, then led her to it. "There. See for yourself."

"My good man, if you so much as twitch, I will blow a hole in your brain big enough to drive a lorry through." Lara turned to the shelf and scanned it, then turned back to David. "Very well, if it's not here, then where is it?"

"Someone came to retrieve it, a rather intense gentleman who knocked out my companion there and took off down a side aisle. I was running to gather aid when you found me."

"Who was it?" Lara pressed the gun under David's chin. "ANSWER."

"I don't know who it was!" David was starting to panic.

"Describe him."

"Tall, six foot or so…short brown hair, brown eyes, carried a pistol, a Desert Eagle, wore a jacket, blue jeans and boots."

Lara's heart skipped a beat. "What KIND of boots?"

"Cowboy boots, snakeskin, I think!" David said, knowing that if his ploy didn't work, Lara would not hesitate.

Lara looked at David, then asked in a softer voice, "Did you notice anything else about him?"

"Yes, I think so…he was wearing a medallion, black and gold, circular, gold dot at the top. Looked a bit on the cheap side," David added, describing a medallion that had come with a fantasy video game he'd bought for Lara. Lara had enjoyed the game so much, she gave the medallion that came with it to David, as the heroine of the tale had given the medallion to the hero.

Lara's eyes glistened, then she shook herself. "Did he say where he was going?"

Uh oh, think faster! "He said something about visiting his bank and talking to the gnomes, whatever that meant." David hoped Lara remembered that their accounts were in Zurich, Switzerland. She let him handle the money and the accountants, so it was still a gamble.

Lara smiled, then looked stern again. "You've given me some very good news, and so I'm going to let you live. Tell anyone what happened and that will change, for the worse. I promise."

"I swear I will not tell anyone from the Vatican that you were ever here." And that is a promise.

"Good. Now bugger off."

David nodded and turned, walking rapidly to the end of the aisle, then turning right. He waited for Lara to make her exit.

"Well, David, did you get it?"

David climbed aboard the helicopter. "Take a wild guess."

"Nobody likes a smartass, Dave. I thought you were going to go in, nice and quiet."

"I did...but Lara picked up the spare."

"Lara Croft was there? Why?"

"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say someone put her up to it. Three guesses, first two don't count."

"Bloodwing. When he realized he couldn't get you, he tapped Croft. Dammit. I didn't think she'd go along with it, unless he fed her some story."

I know how she feels, David thought idly.

"She'd know about the Thorsdrapa. Did she get a look at it?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet I know where she'd go next."

"Where?"

"Where we're going. Zurich, Switzerland."

"Why are we going there?"

"Because that's where we need to go. The Thorsdrapa identifies some landmarks in Switzerland required to find the hammer."

"And what make you think that?" Badger asked as the helicopter began to rise over the trees.

"Look, do I ask you how you get your secret spy gear, or how you ruin lives? No." He opened the scrollcase and let the scroll slide out carefully, then slid it back inside. "I'll check it out when we get to Zurich."

"Any reason why you plan to wait until then?"

"Because this scroll is several hundred years old. I open it now and it'll be confetti."

Badger nodded, turning to the pilot. "Get us to the airport and contact the plane to file a flight plan for Zurich." Once the message was given, Badger opened up his laptop and started typing.

Probably running low on hard drive space and needs to delete the launch codes for America's nuclear stockpile to make room. David shook his head, then looked down at the scrollcase, the wheels in his mind starting to turn. I have to contact Lara, let her know I'm alive, tell her what's going on. Problem is, I don't think "Mr. Phelps" is going to let me do that. And he's going to be dogging my every move, so I have to get creative. The usual avenues are out. I can't write an e-mail for obvious reasons, and I can't write a snail mail letter without knowing where she'll be. My only option is to hope she checks out the safe deposit box in our bank there, and to find a way to get the message into the safe deposit box without Big Brother watching.

David checked his watch. Well, I've got three hours to figure out what to do. Geez, no pressure.

Lara Croft stopped the car on the tarmac, a plane waiting for her. She wordlessly walked to the plane and climbed aboard, then tossed her pack on her seat with obvious frustration.

"You don't seem happy."

She looked up and turned to her right, seeing Bloodwing sitting in one of the chairs. Lara expected Bloodwing to be there, but she didn't expect not sensing his presence until he actually spoke. "My, you're quick. You could be part of the Intelligence community if you truly applied yourself."

"Did you get it?"

"No, I didn't. One of Badger's men was there, before me."

Bloodwing didn't change expression or body language, but Lara knew that the spy wasn't happy at the news. "How do you know it wasn't Badger himself? He has a tendency towards working alone."

"The person who took the Thorsdrapa was clumsy, not quite the finesse of the man you described. But I did catch him radioing to someone as he left, and the name 'Badger' was used."

Bloodwing nodded. "This concerns me. Was he aware of your involvement?"

"Likely. He recognized me."

"Damn. If he knows you're involved, it's likely that he'll be keeping a close eye upon your accounts and investments. You will no longer be able to access your resources, unfortunately. As a result, any activity on my part to access my own resources may alert him to close we are to knowing his plans."

"Luckily, I have a backup plan."

"Do you, now?"

"Most of my banking is done through Zurich. In addition to accounts I have there, I also have safe deposit boxes I can access, where only I know the contents. I thought it might be prudent to have some of my resources 'off the books', so to speak."

"How much can you access?"

"If I recall correctly, in addition to dummy passports and the odd sidearm, close to five million pounds in hard currency."

Bloodwing smiled. "Excellent. It'll keep Badger from red-flagging my own resources. Very convenient, Lady Croft. I'm impressed."

"Actually…it was mostly Dave's idea." She sighed and sat down. "I owe Badger a great deal of pain and agony for what he did to David."

"Rest assured, you'll get your chance. Badger is notorious for completing the last phase of his plans personally, to make sure they do not fail. You will surely encounter him, sooner or later."

"Dear Lord, let it be sooner."

Badger stepped off the plane and zipped up his jacket. "Tid bit nipply out, isn't it?"

"Ha ha." David did likewise, watching the snow flurries come down.

"Are you going to be this surly the entire trip?"

"Why? Are you going to turn the minivan around and go straight home, Dad?"

Badger sighed. "I am beginning to think that Lara must've been a closet masochist to stay with you as long as she did."

"The feeling is mutual. Which reminds me, we need to stop by a bank."

"Why? You forget to make a deposit?"

"A withdrawal."

Badger walked to the car that was waiting on the tarmac and strode to the driver's side. "Money is not a problem, David. I can call upon any amount of funds I need."

"The money's not for you or me."

Badger sat down in the driver's side and closed the door as David got into the passenger's side. "What's on your mind?"

"If this guy is as smart as you say, but wants to operate under the wire, he needs non-declared funds. If he's truly tapped Lara, then he might take advantage of money caches I've set up at some of the banks."

"And what do you plan to do?"

"Empty them. Give us the edge, and make it harder for Bloodwing to get Lara to help him."

Badger considered. "It's an idea. Cut off his supply line. Make it harder for him to maneuver. Alright, David, which bank do we head to?"

"Banks, plural."

"Alright, banks. How much are in these banks?"

"Total amount in the safe deposit boxes? About twelve million pounds."

Badger whistled. "That's a lot of petty cash. Anything else in those safe deposit boxes?"

"I made a point to put some weapons and ammunition, as well as some aliases, passports and IDs. I figured if I or Lara needed to go to the boxes, it's likely that we'd be in situations where we might be stranded without money. I've got boxes like them all over the world."

Badger started the car and drove off the tarmac, heading for the freeway. "You'd better not be planning something shady, David. I can smell a lie like a fart in an elevator."

"Everything I told you is the truth." He wrote out a list of banks and handed it to Badger. "I plan to access the boxes, remove all the money I find there and all of Lara's aliases."

Badger stopped at the light and looked at David carefully. After a few moments, he nodded. "Alright. I believe you. I know where these banks are, so I'll do the driving, if you don't mind. Let's get something straight right now, Davey-boy." Badger looked solidly at David. "I want you to empty those safe deposit boxes. Completely. I don't want you to leave a trace behind that someone could follow, especially Lara Croft. I don't want some sentimental concepts to creep in and make you lose your focus. I am prepared to move on without you if you jeopardize this mission. Get me?"

David sighed. "Alright."

"I want you to repeat it back to me, David, to make sure we're on the same page."

"Yes, Dad. I'm going to clean out the safe deposit boxes of all monies, weapons and records of aliases. No writing messages of any kind and putting the notes in the boxes for Lara to read."

"Excellent. Now go get 'em, tiger. We've got a schedule to keep."

David nodded and took out an empty attaché case, stepping out of the car and heading into the bank. He took a deep breath. I've only going to get one shot at this...I hope Lara remembers, or I'm up the creek, without a boat, much less a paddle.

Lara walked into the Geistermann Bank secure room and waited for the clerk to bring her the safe deposit box. She was growing concerned that she was being royally taken for a ride, and Bloodwing was at the wheel. What was worse was knowing that Bloodwing was actively, but subtly, exploiting her emotions. She knew she'd have had reservations about taking this quest if David's death hadn't been involved.

She closed her eyes at the thought. It still pained her, deep in her soul, because she knew that David had been actively trying to propose to her for months, but she'd always steered the subject away from matrimony. She didn't want to marry David, then lose him and feel even more pain.

Except Lara's feelings didn't agree with her. What she felt hurt much more than losing Michael, and she began to regret putting David off as long as she had. Did I imagine it? If this Badger person is as Machiavellian as Bloodwing says, I wouldn't put it past the rotter to just dress someone up in Dave's clothes, just to try and get a psychological advantage.

"Miss, are you well?"

She looked up and realized that she'd been crying. "I'm...I'm a bit out of sorts. I just lost someone rather close to me."

The clerk smiled and put the box down on the table. "I'll leave you alone, then." He turned and walked out, closing the curtain behind him. Lara sighed and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. I don't know how I'm going to go on without David.

As her eyes cleared, she opened up the box. Lara's eyes went wide as she saw that the box was completely emptied! "What the devil...!" she asked, then saw something reflected in the polished metal of the box. She opened the lid completely and looked at the lid.

On the lid was written, in felt-tip pen, "When is a door not a door? 5-3-3."

What in the world? What is this, some sort of joke? She looked at the writing in amazement, surprised that someone would put graffiti on the inside of her and David's safe deposit box.

Then it hit her, cut through the haze of pain, revenge and grief. It wasn't a joke. It was a code.

She rubbed the ink and saw some of it smear. Fresh. She thought back to Dave' lessons on deductive theory. She'd thought them trite before, but the lessons had opened her eyes to some mysteries before that had gone unanswered in her research. Lara ticked over the facts in her head. David presumed dead, verified by a third party. Possibility? Getting lower by the tick. He's been presumed dead before. Right. Let's suppose David did write this. What is he trying to say? And how do I know it IS David and not someone trying to confuse me even more that I already am? The answer has to be in the riddle. She committed it to memory and finished her business, walking out of the bank and heading back to Bloodwing's car.

"How did it go?"

"We may have a problem. Some of my safe deposit boxes have been picked clean. And only someone who can pass flawless signatures of either me or David Connors could have done it."

"Badger." Bloodwing shook his head. "He knows we're trying to stay under the peripheral and he's attempting to cut off our resources, forcing us to use resources he can trace."

"How would Badger know?"

"Never underestimate him, Lara Croft. The man is a jackal. He's been in counter-intelligence for years. Forgery is only one of his talents."

"But how...?"

"I think 'how' is no longer a concern. The question is, what do we do about it?"

Lara considered. "If he's come here to attack my assets, wouldn't it stand to reason that he's trying to anticipate our moves, so we might actually lead him to Mjolnir?"

"Likely. It's certainly his style."

"Then let's throw him off track a bit. I have an idea. There's one place where we might be able to find some information on the hammer, but it's more of a long shot. We stand a better chance of confusing him and leading him to a trap than finding more information about Mjolnir."

"A trap? I like the sound of this more and more. And do you think it'll throw him off the scent if the trap works?"

"Better than that...it'll stop him in his tracks." Lara smiled.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because it nearly stopped me and I was looking for it. He won't be looking for it. He'll be focused on us instead." Lara looked down to her laptop. "I'll lead him in."

"Sounds like you're making this a personal vendetta, Lara. Don't make it personal. It'll cloud your judgment."

"Bloodwing, let me be frank; I am clearer right now that I have ever been before." She turned back to her laptop. "By the by, Bloodwing...I have a joke for you."

Bloodwing rolled his eyes. "Lara, I'm becoming a little worried about your mood swings."

"When is a door not a door?" she asked idly.

"That's your joke? That gag was old at the end of the last ice age."

"Humor me. I've never heard that joke before."

Bloodwing studied her for a few moments longer, then answered with a labored sigh, "When it's ajar." He looked at the back of her head, not seeing the look on her face, missing the expression of dawning comprehension completely. "Are we done with the jokes?"

Lara didn't answer. Bloodwing stood up and walked to the next compartment, but Lara knew that she was still being watched by the cameras behind her and to her rear right. She turned back to the laptop, her mind whirling. Five, three, three. If it was David, then he could've only been referring to one area where she knew only David and Lara's eyes had been: her vault. The year before, they'd both gone through it and catalogued and organized the contents. They'd even moved the stuffed and mounted T. Rex head. One of the ideas David had suggested was cataloguing the contents of the vaults by section, shelf and the artifact's location on the shelf. Fifth section, third shelf from the top, third space from the left.

It didn't take her long to remember what that object was. It was a hand that once belonged to a sorcerer who had supposedly sold his soul to the Devil for the ability to change his shape to whatever he wanted to be, man or animal. The sorcerer, a fallen priest calling himself Father Michael, came upon an enemy in the shape of a massive wolf. His enemy had been a simple hunter, but Father Michael had become careless. The shapechanger underestimated the hunter's skill with a blade and was forced to retreat, losing a paw in the fight. As was often the case of such gifts, this one came with a ringer: his supernatural ability was dependent upon his body staying intact.

After Father Michael was killed, his body fell into decrepitude, but his severed hand did not decay at all. It was found decades later, in 1582, and several powerful men had owned the hand, spending their lives trying to figure out a way to use it to gain the power to change their own shapes. Lara Croft found it while investigating the catacombs of a monastery in New Mexico, at considerable risk to her own life.

What made this artifact important now was that it sat on her shelf in a large glass jar filled with alcohol.

The riddle had hinted at a detail only David would know, which made Lara realize that he truly was alive, but the underlying nature of the riddle made Lara ponder. Why, of all artifacts, did he choose that one?

One fact was undeniable: she was going to find out. "Have the pilot steer us towards Venice, Italy. We've got a rat to catch." And a mystery to solve.

"She's on to us," David mused as he read over the Thorsdrapa.

"I know, Dave. She was spotted entering some of the banks you cleaned out. Bloodwing knows I'm trying to stay low."

"Then why clean them out, instead of just taking some of it? Are you trying to tell them what we're doing?"

Badger smiled. "Ah, the veil begins to lift."

"But why..."

"I want them to think we need resources, that we're desperate. Then Bloodwing will lower his guard, make a mistake, either intentionally or unintentionally, and then we'll know where he is."

"All this joke and dagger stuff is making my head spin."

"Then let me worry about those details. Right now, I want to know where they're going. They filed a flight plan to Venice, Italy, which immediately makes me think they plan to head in the other direction."

"Wait a minute…Venice?" David's face turned to Badger quickly.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because I don't think they filed a fake flight plan. She doesn't have the Thorsdrapa, which mean that she's looking for another way to find the hammer."

"Is there another way?"

"There may be. There's an artifact, a greataxe wielded by one of Thor's favorite people. To make sure this guy could come back and visit, Thor had the directions to his home-away-from-Asgard etched into the head of the axe. It was recovered in a dig a few centuries ago, and moved to a secret church in Venice. They had it examined, then decided to keep it there, guarded by the traps surrounding the church. Lara tried to get past the traps once, with no success, so she says. And she's good."

"That means she's desperate to get it now, which hints at how valuable the information is." He tapped the communications device. "Venice, Italy. Now."

David looked back to the scroll, but his mind was elsewhere. Lara, looks like you got the message…I hope. Now let's hope you remember more about that place besides the traps…

Lara Croft entered the Orpheus Opera House, once a grand structure, but now a few shades short of being condemned. Bloodwing followed close behind. "Nice place. Just the sort of locale where I'd park a wrecking ball."

"It'll never happen." Lara took out her trusted PDA and checked the maps she'd downloaded. "The cistern is this way."

"Why not, dare I ask?" Bloodwing asked as they walked towards the stage from the rear of the audience chamber.

"The Vatican will never let it fall. Believe it or no, this building is extremely sound. It was simply made to look decrepit to ensure that the entrance wouldn't be accidentally discovered. Venice will fall before this building will." Lara stepped up to the stage and looked back towards the entrance. "You sure they're still back there?"

"Their ETA is thirty minutes, allowing for delays from the docks. So where do the traps for this place start?"

"When we enter the cistern, we'll descend through a passage that will bring us up into the catacombs. The traps likely start before we reach the catacombs themselves. Once in, we move to one of the areas I've cleared out, and then wait for them to blunder past us into the meat grinders. Should they survive, they'll clear the way to the inner chamber, enabling me to acquire an artifact I've had my eye on for some time, and it is doubtful they will be in any shape to stop you from arresting him and taking him away."

Bloodwing nodded and took out a small mouthpiece with a mini-rebreather built into it. "Want one?"

"Thank you, but no. I have no trouble holding my breath for the short distance to the catacombs." She smiled winningly. "Feel free to indulge, however."

"I prefer not to be out of breath by the time we reach our destination. You'd be wise to consider using one yourself."

"I am fine, thank you. But let's get a wiggle on." Lara pulled on a concealed switch and part of the wall and floor of the backstage area opened, revealing a brick wall surrounding a pool of water.

Bloodwing gestured to the water. "Ladies first."

Badger stopped the car and looked up at the Orpheus. "They're here. I can smell him."

"Maybe he should change his deodorant."

"Come on, Davey-boy. I am not going to miss my chance to nail this guy!" He started to run forward, but David caught up to him.

David pulled on Badger's shoulder. "Look, I know you want this guy, but if you really want to nail him, you better make sure he's the one under the hammer. The way to the artifact is trapped. If we're not careful, we'll be fish food."

Badger pulled his shoulder away impatiently. "All right, we do it your way. Where to now?"

"There's a hidden cistern in the rear of the backstage area, covered by a stone and brick door. It's hidden well, but it can't be covered from the other side. Priests usually stayed behind to secure the hidden door." He walked to the door and opened it, moving inside and shining his flashlight around the entrance hall. "Past this point, things get a little risky. Step where I step."

"Oh? And why should I?"

"The aisles are trapped. Step on the wrong part, and a blade will hamstring you. Now follow me." David walked down the aisle, stepping carefully first on the left, then the right sides of the aisle. He stopped as he reached the bottom, then calmly vaulted up on stage. He turned to see Badger, jumping and side-stepping to the bottom.

"Well, that didn't seem that hard."

"That was the easy part, Badger." David walked back to the stage, grinning at having some fun at Badger's expense; the floor wasn't trapped at all. But he knew where some of the traps and pitfalls were, and he needed to be sure Badger would dance to his tune to stay alive...as well as set Badger up for his little surprise.

Of course, everything hinged on Lara being where she was supposed to be. If Lara wasn't there to help him, he'd drown or get "consequenced" by Badger for trying to ditch him. Please, God, let Lara have gotten the message...

Lara's head broke the surface and she swam to the side of the pool, deep under Venice. The room she was in was a good fifty feet wide, and had one door leading out of it. Bloodwing came up soon after, swimming to the side. "Well, THAT was fun. Nothing like dodging saw blades to get the ol' heart pumping."

"Badger will soon be swimming through that same area." Lara pointed to a set of six bells on the wall next to the door. "Each one of those bells is tied to one of those blades, and rings when activated. Works well for an early warning system, wouldn't you say?"

"So if number three rings and number four doesn't, it means they died or became food for the fish."

"Plus, if they turn back, they have to face the blades again, so if they aren't killed, we'll at last know in what direction they're going."

"Perfect. Pretty clever for a bunch of bookworms." Bloodwing walked over to the door and reached for the ring that served as the doorknob.

"Be careful. You don't want to go in there yet." Lara cautioned.

Bloodwing didn't even turn around. "Just checking my exits. I don't ever go into something I don't know how to leave." Before he opened the door, however, he was interrupted by the first bell ringing. Bloodwing turned quickly towards the pool only to find that he was alone.

Lara Croft was gone.

He muttered a few choice words and ran to the side of the pool. He caught sight of Lara's boots as they disappeared through the hole in the bottom. "I don't know what you're thinking, Lara, but I'm not about to let you go without saying goodbye!" He took out an object that looked like an aluminum cigar container, until he popped off one end, revealing a small propeller. He pressed the tip on the other end and the propeller spun, a red light on the end blinking. "Don't look now, Lara Croft...but this 'cigar' is about to smoke you."

He dropped it into the water and it moved through he water like a minnow, the targeting signal locking upon a transmitter hidden the sole of her right boot. As it zipped downwards, Bloodwing sat down to wait for the telltale signs of a deep-water explosion in a confined space.

He didn't have to wait long.

A few moments later, he felt a deep shudder as the high explosive went off, spraying a plume of water through the opening. He smiled and stood up, brushing some of the sprayed water off his clothes. "Looks like it's time for Plan B. Thanks for the money, Lara." He checked his watch. "But time flies. Sorry, Badger, but you'll just have to catch up with me in Norway."

With that, he opened the door on the other side and began the long flight up the stairs to the laboratory and artifact above.

Badger watched David as he swam behind him. They'd already dodged two traps, circular saw blades that swept through the tunnel. He found that David was quite adept of moving past the traps...until they came to the fork in the underwater tunnel.

David looked at Badger and pointed to the left, then Badger saw the third trap: a gigantic four-clawed grapple that reached from the floor and grabbed David around the torso. David's eyes widened in shock behind the mask and he struggled, trying to pull himself free of the apparatus. He looked to Badger, but Badger simply watched as the trap hauled David down through a hole in the floor. A moment later, a massive cloud of bubbles rose from the opening and a stone block slid back into place.

Badger nodded. One less problem to wrangle. He swam on through the tunnel towards the end. He knew Bloodwing was at the end of the tunnel, and that thought gave strength to his arms and legs.

I've got you now...

David coughed as he was pulled up into the holding area and dangled above the floor. He fought to clear his eyes, but when he did, he suddenly wished he'd kept them closed.

Lara was pointing a pistol at his nose. "Well, well...don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Actually..."

"SHUT UP!" She cocked the pistol. "Who are you and is David Connors alive? I'm only going to give you once chance to answer me and, by God, it had better be the right one, because I will not hesitate to blast your brainless brains out!"

"Look, give me a chance to explain, okay?"

"You have ten seconds, and you'd better make this brilliant."

"Alright...do you remember the time in Peru, when you and David went into the jungle and ate one of the local fruits...and spent the next three days in a dazed stupor, talking about the nature of the universe?"

Lara's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "How in the world did you know that? David swore a solemn oath never to tell anyone that story!"

"He didn't tell anyone...or...to be more accurate...I never told anyone."

Lara looked at him, then pressed the gun against his right temple. "Do you take me for a fool? Are you trying to tell me that YOU'RE David?"

"Look, I know it's crazy, but Badger faked my death and ran me over with a team of plastic surgeons from Beverly Hills."

"And did he fix your voice, too?"

"Screwed it up is more like it…"

"I don't believe it! It's not possible!"

"Come on, Lara...after all we've seen together, do you really think that? Hell, a mountain fell on Natla and she still came back."

"You could've tortured David for that info."

"Well...what about trivial info? Stuff only David would know?"

"You've got one chance to answer this, whoever you are. There's only one answer, and if you blow it, you're dead."

"Okay..."

Lara looked David in the eyes and asked, "A long time ago, after we first met, you took me to a place where I beat you soundly at a competition of reflexes and coordination. Do you remember what it was?"

David's face went slack. "Oh...no. Don't. For the love of God, DON'T..."

"And after it was all over, you did something to commemorate my victory. Sing it for me now."

David mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that again?"

David took a deep breath and sighed, then sang in a normal tone, "Lara-is-a-Dance-Dance-Goddess, doo dah, doo dah..."

Lara swung his arms around David's upside down form and squeezed him tightly. "DAVID CONNORS, IT IS YOU! You have no idea what I've been through, I've missed you so much...!" She was crying now, the tears mixing with the beads of water on her skin.

David, however, was on eye-level with Lara's shorts. "I missed you too..." he said, utterly embarrassed. Lara had promised him that she would never make him sing that song again. "Lara, this is David Connors speaking, could we please return seats and significant others back to their upright positions? All the blood is rushing to my head."

"Oh! Oh, terribly sorry..." She spun him around and pulled him over to the side, then turned a crank to lower him to the floor. "Are you alright?"

"Apart from a ringing in my ears...was that an explosion?"

"Yes...bastard thought he could hide a transmitter in my boot and assume I wouldn't notice. As soon as I realized he could use it to track me, I shed my boots as soon as I swam around the corner and dropped it through one of the pipes in the floor. Of course, I assumed he was just using it to keep my whereabouts known, but when I saw something shaped like a small torpedo follow my boots down the pipe, I had to get here rather quick. I was almost not quick enough; the explosion went off as soon as I reached the grotto. Fairly blew me right out of the water."

"Are you alright?"

Lara smiled and brushed her hair back. "I'm a lot better, now that I know you're still alive." She reached up and stroked his features. "Good Lord...if it wasn't for your note...I can't believe I almost shot you, not once, but twice."

David sat down in the dim light of the flare sitting in the torch-holder on the wall. "Well, now what?"

"I say we go home straight-away...well, maybe after a trip to Beverly Hills. Don't worry, Dave, I'll get you the best in the business to put you right."

"What about those two? Between James Bomb and John Steed's-Rear back there, they could cause a lot of damage looking for Mjolnir, even if they don't find it."

"David, those two are dangerous. Worse, they're crazy, obsessed with getting the drop on each other. I'm not normally one to shy away from a risky venture, but these two..." She shuddered, and not from the cold. "There's something utterly monstrous about them."

"And we have to go after them. You know we do."

Lara sighed. "I know...I was just hoping you were in the mood to persuade me otherwise."

"Badger's got my files on the Thorsdrapa. As sketchy as they are, he'll soon know where to go. Bloodwing's going to be hot on his trail."

Lara picked up her pack. "The exit's this way. Tell me everything about what happened."

David nodded. "It's a long story."

"It's a long plane trip to Norway."

Lara looked at David as she watched him sleep. She knew it was him, but at the same time, she felt strange wanting to kiss him. My Lord...it feels like I'm cheating on David...and it's with David! This is maddening... She sighed and opened up her laptop, the only resource she'd brought with her from Bloodwing's plane.

As the laptop rebooted, she heard David shift in his chair and she looked up as he moved in his chair, yawning. His eyes opened and David sat up. "What time is it?"

"Three AM local time. Three hours and twenty-seven minutes until we reach the drop point." She smiled gently. "Sleep well?"

"Not really...my skin itches." He rubbed his chin. "Bad itching, too, now that I think about it." He rubbed his neck, feeling more of the itch there. "Is my skin red?"

"No. It's the same healthy color it was before. Why?"

David frowned and removed his shirt, glad that he and Lara were the only ones on the plane. He reached down to where the itching ended and began to pick at the edges of the area.

"David, what are you doing?"

He traced the edge of his discomfort, then took out a switchblade. "Testing a theory. Get me a mirror."

Lara nodded and took out one of the mirrors she used in her trap kit, handing it to David. He began to scrape at his flesh, as if he was shaving, but instead of whiskers, he peeled away a section of skin, revealing another layer of skin underneath, a layer with whiskers growing out of it. He continued to pull at it, and Lara watched with amazement as he pulled the mask away completely, revealing David's original face underneath! His hair was covered with a plastic layer and he had several days' worth of whisker growth on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, noticing a wide rubber band around his neck, the slightest of bulges in the front. He pulled it off to reveal the bulge was some sort of spider-like device with contacts over his voice box. He looked up at Lara. "Well?" he asked in his normal voice.

"It's incredible! It was a mask the whole time?"

"Yeah...the wonders of technology." He held it up and looked at it. "If it wasn't for my persistent hair growth on my chin, there's no telling how long I'd be wearing this thing."

"Never thought I'd be so happy for your permanent five o'clock shadow." She picked up the throat-device and held it against her neck, saying in the male voice David had voiced earlier, "What do you think?"

"I think we're in serious trouble."

Lara lowered the voice modulator. "That goes without saying."

"No...I mean, look at this stuff. The mask, the voice changer. This stuff is way ahead of anything I've ever seen before, even in the CIA files. Who has this sort of stuff?"

"Private companies?"

"Bingo. I think these guys are definitely not who or what they appear to be."

"That makes no sense. If they were private operatives, why go to all this trouble to keep themselves hidden? The type of archaeology they're talking about isn't illegal. Even if it was on the shady side, these two could afford to bribe whoever they needed to. I should know, I've had to do it myself...once or twice," she added hastily.

David looked out the window. "I think this is some sort of game to them. All this stuff they put us through? This is probably how they get their rocks off, making people like us jump through hoops." He turned back to Lara, grinning evilly. "Maybe it's time we changed the rules somewhat."

"I'm all for that. What do you have in mind?" Lara grinned back insidiously.

"They want the hammer, huh? Well, let's make them work for it. We're going to have to work fast to beat them to the punch."

"That shouldn't be hard. I know where the hammer is."

David stared at her. "I must have some of that mask stuff in my ears; it sounded an awful lot like you just said...!"

"Correct, David dear."

"Then why...what...the Thorsdrapa...the greataxe...!" David sputtered. "We went through all this and you knew all the time...!"

"If I'd told Bloodwing that I knew its location all this time, he wouldn't have believed me. And I was sort of saving it for later."

"But WHY? If you knew where it was, why didn't you retrieve it?"

"I said I knew where it was...I didn't say it would be easy to get. You'll see what I mean when we get there. I'll contact Spike, see if he can get us there without too much trouble."

"Spike? Isn't there anyone else able to get us there quick? That guy is freaking NUTS." David's voice trembled slightly. "I still have nightmares."

"Oh, come now. The last time he flew us somewhere, I slept like a baby the entire trip."

"Oh, really? I saw those tablets you took before the flight, and they weren't air-sickness tablets. They were sedatives."

Lara looked uncomfortable. "Don't be absurd, David. Besides, he's the only one who can get us there in time."

"Forget it!"

Lara sighed. "I'll share my 'air-sickness medicine' with you."

"...deal."

TO BE CONTINUED...