Chapter 3

"And now," Kagura said happily, "we must 'go out' to celebrate your servant-ship."

"Is servant-ship a word?"

"Well, I said it so it must be."

"And where would we go out?"

"I was hoping you'd know." They sat. And thought. For about an hour-ish. Finally Ritsu came up with an idea.

"We could go out for pasta and go see 'Carmen'. It's on at the theatre…"

"Wait, do you mean movies or actual live theatre, with real actors and stuff?"

"The latter."

So they went and had pasta at "Caleb's Italian Restaurant".

They walked in the door and were quickly and efficiently ignored. After about 10 minutes the manager (Caleb) came up to them and asked them why they were just standing in the doorway. They replied that no one had asked them to take a seat or to find a seat. "What? I thought I asked Sydni to take care of anyone who came in! Sydni! Did I not ask you to take care of anyone who came in?"

"No Pinky-poo, you didn't."

"I've told you a thousand times not to call me PINKY-POO! I am not Pinky-Poo and you know it! Now serve these people or I'll fire you like a hot knife through butter!"

"Pinky-Poo, you don't make sense. But I'll get right to it! See you later Pinky-Poo!"

"Pinky-Poo? Is that a professional managing term?" Kagura muttered to the stupefied monkey.

"Dunno…"

"Hello, I'm Sydni and I'll be your server today. The special is… well, I have absolutely no idea what the special is but have a decent meal anyway and try not to get food poisoning. The paperwork… Don't want to have to deal with that again. So, what would you like?"

Kagura hadn't been paying attention to a word the disgruntled server had said, but simply asked, "Are you a chimney elf? You know, I don't think I've ever seen one before. Is your chimney nice?"

"I… am… NOT… a… chimney… elf…," Sydni said, gritting her teeth. "So, what would you like?"

"Noodles," Ritsu said cheerily.

"Yes, but what KIND of noodles?"

"Noodley noodles."

"OK, so this lady will have 'noodley noodles' and what will the other person have?"

"Dunno. Are you a chimney elf? And Ritsu's a guy."

Sydni gritted her teeth again. If this kept up, she'd have to get dentures within an hour.

"So what do you want?"

"Same as he's having."

"So 'noodley noodles' for both of you? All right."

The meal finally arrived. The noodles were as noodley as noodles could possibly be, with no sauce.

"Thank you," Ritsu said to Sydni. "Now, about what Kagura said- Are you really a chimney elf?"

"NO! I AM NOT A CHIMNEY ELF! AND ANYONE WHO SAYS SO MUST BE A RAVING LUNATIC!" She jumped on Ritsu and attacked him.

"I'm SOOOORRRRRYYYYYYYYY! This is ALL my fault! I'm the one who ordered the NOODLEY NOODLES! I'm SOOOORRRRRYYYYY!"

"Ritsu! Shut Up! We both ordered the noodley noodles. And it's not anyones fault that our waitress is a Chimney Elf." Kagura scolded. They left very VERY quickly due to a very angry Chimney Elf.

"Come again!" Caleb called after the pair.

"Sure we will Pinky-Poo." They both chanted. A muffled scream of disgust could be heard quite easily.

Then they went to go to the theatre. They walked down the street and passed many shops and restaurants and shops such as………………Caleb's seafood palace, Caleb's laundromat, Caleb's used flamethrower store. Ummmmmmmmm……….

A man in dark clothing leaped out of the door with a woman who was carrying a very large and powerful flamethrower. "Don't anybody move!" yelled the man. He was short and had evil looking eyebrows. "Or we'll torch you!" yelled the woman carrying the flamethrower. She had swamp water green eyes protected with a pair of sportish wrap around glasses. Ritsu went into his usual panic and ran around in circles screaming "I'm sooooooooooo SORRY! I am so much trouble. I…"(You get the point).

The woman pulled the trigger to the flamethrower but all it did was make a quacking noise. "Stupid duck-o-matic flamthrowers!" The man yelled, his eyebrows twitching wildly. Both the man and the woman re-entered the store and demanded for a refund. Ritsu and Kagura took off down the street.

Things seemed to go (more or less) smoothly after that little incident. There was one minor problem after Ritsu had failed to pay for their tickets with the correct change but that quickly sorted itself out.

They were a little late for the play/opera thingy to start but that was OK as the acting troupe was a bit behind schedule anyway. Right in front of them was a little boy, talking animatedly on his cell phone, and a little girl with vivid orange hair.

"This is terrible!" Kagura hissed.

"What?"

"Kisa and Hiro are sitting in front of us!"

"OOOOH NOOOO! I'MMM SOOOO SOOOORRY! WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME HERE! IT'S ALL MYYYY FAUUULT FOR SUGGESTING IT!"

"Shut UP! You're making a scene!"

And indeed, everyone in the theatre was staring at them. Except for Kisa and Hiro, who were, of course, kissing.

The play started. Hiro was singing along.

"Toreador-ah, don't spit on the floor-ah, use the cuspidor-ah, that's-ah what its for-ah."

"Ahhh, that's sooo cute!" Kagura squealed into Ritsu's ear. "Good thing I brought my taperecorder that I bought at 'Caleb's store of stuff that you don't need'. But it's strange. I need to use this recorder. Maybe I should go back later to get a free refund." Kagura started to Record Hiro's singing.

"Why! If it isn't Kagura and Ritsu! Our two love birds out on a date."

"Ayame! What are you doing here?" Kagura yelled, getting them kicked out of the play. "Why on earth are you stalking me and my slave!"

"Ahhhh! Slave is it? Not boyfriend?"

"Well……….maybe boyfriend." Ritsu said with a touch of hopefulness in his voice.

"What! Not on your life! What made you think that?"

"I'm SOOOO SOOOORRRY! IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR SUGGESTING THAT! IS MY FAULT FOR MAKING THE SUGGESTION OF COMING TO THIS PLAY! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" Ritsu wailed, making everyone in the audience turn, including Hiro and Kisa.

The next day, Kagura and Ritsu were sitting side-by-side on a large swing, not speaking to each other. Both agreed on one thing- the previous night had been a complete fiasco. They had been thrown out of the theatre onto the dark and forbidding streets. Neither had a great sense of direction so they were forced to ask an old homeless guy for directions. He merely shrugged and waved a broken beer bottle drunkenly at them.

At about 3 am, they finally arrived home and promptly passed out.

So here they were, not speaking, not complaining, not freaking out, and waiting for some sort of divine intervention.

Boy, this is the pits, thought Kagura.

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.