Thank you to my 4 reviewers! Your comments were appreciated!
As it Stands:
Sparrow O'Connelly-Thomas, age 48. Charlie Thomas – age 50 Finn (Findabhair)Thomas- age 17-Female Atticus Thomas- age 16- Male Ginny Thomas - age 6- female
Disclaimer: Own nothing.
Bowling: The Sport of the Broken Hearted
Chapter 1: FREAKY FRIDAY'S
Mac awoke sluggishly to her phone ringing. In a daze she turned to her alarm clock sitting beside her on the side table. 5:00AM blared back at her.
"Ahhh," yelled Mac jumping away from it in terror and slamming her head into the other side table as she landed. Muttering swear words to herself, Mac picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hello, dear! I just found you the perfect husband! He has blonde hair and eyes to die for! A little lean in the purse, only worth a couple million, but you are past your prime and you can not expect the best! Now, do you want to hear more?" Mac looked at the phone in her hand for a second confused.....then quite calmly hung it up. That was weird, she thought. Just as she had started to lie down, the phone started to ring again. Mac just stared at it for a second quizzically before calmly picking it up.
"Hello?"
"What happened dear? I was talking to you and then I got disconnected!" Slam went the phone into the cradle and on went Mac's brain...sort of. Frantically Mac punched in a number. Someone picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi Sparrow, its Mac. Why is your mother phoning me?"
"Because that's what family likes to do from time to time to keep in contact?"
"AT 5 AM!?" Mac officially woke up.
"Oh no." Sparrow sounded like someone had just died.
"What do you mean, oh no?" asked Mac as she looked at her alarm clock again in disgust.
"It's started."
"What's started?" Mac asked forgetting about the alarm clock for a moment.
"The early morning phone calls of course. I should have seen this coming!"
"What?"
"The early morning phone calls. You're 28 and not married."
"What does the one have to do with the other?" Mac was not in the mood for guessing games and her tone implied that.
"When I turned 28 my mother started phoning me at 4 am to either try to set me up or just to talk about inane things."
"Alright, so this is an O'Connelly thing?"
"Oh no, this is a My Mother thing. You've turned 28 and are not married. Therefore my mother feels she must start phoning you in the early hours to chat."
"Why would she do that?" There was a pause before Sparrow answered, of which I'm sure Sparrow took the phone away from her ear and looked at it deeply confused.
"It's my mother! She hasn't made sense since the 60's. And since it was the 60's you have to wonder if she ever did!"
"That'll be rather inconvenient."
"You want to talk about inconvenient! She phoned me at 4! In fact she still does."
"Why didn't you just let the phone ring?"
"Tried that, didn't work."
"What do you mean? If you don't answer the phone, she can't talk to you."
"Foolish child, do you honestly think that will stop MY mother?"
"What do you mean?" asked Mac as she fluffed her pillow.
"How long ago did you get off the phone with her and how did you get off so quickly?"
"Five minutes and I think I may have hung up on her. Twice." Mac for a second looked horrified by the realization of this fact, but then seemed to remember that it was 5 a.m. and she wasn't responsible for her actions that early in the morning.
"Oh no."
"Quit saying that!"
"Fine, but if you're naked I suggest you throw on a robe or something. My mother doesn't stop for doors."
"You mean she's going to come here?" asked Mac quickly getting out bed and throwing on a robe as suggested.
"Going to come, she's probably already in your building."
"But it's 5 in the morning!" said Mac picking up her alarm clock and waving it about. At that moment there was a brief knock at the door.
"Oh my God," Mac muttered, smiling slightly because of the complete absurdity of the situation.
"When she comes in let me talk to her."
"I haven't let her in yet," said Mac putting some slippers on her feet.
"Look up kid." Mac did and there standing right in front of her dangling a key was Gwen.
"Phone," Mac greeted handing it over while she ripped the alarm clock cord out of the wall.
"Thank you dear. Greetings and salutations! Oh, it's only you Sparrow dear." Mac went to put some tea on. It was going to be a long morning.
Little did Mac know later that day she'd be in jail for throwing a shoe at her employer.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Findabhair (Finn-ah-veer) Thomas, known pretty much exclusively as Finn, prepared for battle. With lunch tray in hand, she walked calmly toward one of the lunch tables crowded with various people.
"What the hell do you want Thomas?" asked a cute boy with blue as she approached his table.
Finn did not even hesitate. She dumped her entire spaghetti plate onto his head. Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and stared.
"That is what I wanted to do and this is what I want to say, you cow. You come near Jack again, I will make you cry." Calmly Finn turned on her heel and headed back the way she came. The boy now with spaghetti sauce dripping off his head turned onto his brand new looking orange designer label shirt sputtered for a second. Then, quickly getting to his feet, he opened his mouth to say something. He was cut off before he could even mutter a peep by Finn.
"Save it. I really don't care to hear what unoriginal insults you have. This is how it stands. You even look at Jack again, I will make you cry. From pain? From humiliation? From pure anger? I don't know yet. But if you piss me off enough right now, I could easily make it all three." With that, Finn continued to walk calmly out of the cafeteria.
Finn was aptly named. At the time of Sparrow's pregnancy, Gwen had unfortunately gone through a phase where she believed she had failed in life (eventually disproved to herself when she managed to get Jay's oldest child married off to a multi-billionaire who had connections to Dutch royalty). In that time, Gwen decided that at least one of her grandchildren had to be named after her, so she could symbolically re-live her life again. Again, unfortunately Sparrow was the only one who was pregnant at the time and found herself bombarded by her mother, which of course meant the rest of the family, dropping not so subtle hints to name her child Gwen. Sparrow proclaiming that she rather her child suffer the fate of Atlas (dude that has to hold the world up forever) then that of her Mothers, said no. Well, Sparrow held out for nine months. But somehow Gwen convinced the doctor not to give Sparrow drugs while she was in labor until she agreed to name the child after her. To Sparrow's credit, I suppose, she held out for a good 6 hours on pure spit and anger, but eventually succumbed. But with a twist. She named her baby girl Findabhair, which was the Irish version of her Mothers base name, Gwenhyvar.
As it was, Finn had her grandmother's ability to scare the hell out of people as well. It was a general knowledge that no smart person crossed Finn who wanted to live.
----------------------------------------------
Atticus Thomas discovered his littlest sister standing upon her head starring into space when he came to pick her up after school one Friday afternoon.
Virgina Thomas, named for the song, "Meet Virgina," by Train, was an artist and a small six year old with a rather interesting take on life. Known as Ginny, she refused to wear pants and always insisted on skirts, never dresses. She loved the children's writer Jon Scieszka, the American version of Sailor Moon and the Beatles. Virgina actually loved the Backstreet Boys to such an extent that the mere mention of Nsync would often cause her to become violently upset and so, unable to speak for up to a half hour. You knew she was really mad at you, if she called you an Nsync lover or worse yet, a N-I-N-E-T-Y- E-I-G-H-T D-E-G-R-E-E-'S fan. She was an odd duck alright, which could help explain what was happing now.
Her lunch box- with a picture of the Backstreet boys on it- sat right beside her head, while her kitty knapsack was strapped to her back. She was wearing a poka-dot skirt and because her feet were up and her head down, it gave everyone a clear view of her floating clouds underwear. Her bright red pig tails lay on the concrete street, contrasting with the pink from her glass's frame. Everything, including the underwear, had splatters of paint on it. Blue, yellow, pink, purple, forest green, etc, you name a color it was probably on there.
Ginny's kindergarten teacher was kneeling down besides her, trying desperately to convince the little girl to stand up. Her voice had that desperate edge voices sometimes get when you know that you have taken on a losing battle, but for appearance sake at least, you must keep trying. Many of the children were openly laughing and pointing, while their parents were quickly shushing them and shooting the strange little girl confused looks.
It made for quite an interesting picture.
But eventually Atticus knew he had to intervene. But he could get a photo first. The flash from the camera instantly drew the attention of Mrs. Mullins and Ginny.
"Hi, Stinky."
"Greetings Miss. Virgina, Queen of the Cards."
"Thank Providence. YOU do SOMETHING with her," greeted Mrs. Mullins, in a typically exasperated tone. So Atticus did. He dropped his bag beside his sisters and stood on his head too. Mrs. Mullin's merely stared for a second before walking away, her shoulders slouched and shaking as though crying.
"I think that I'm going to be moved again. She looks ready to crack," speculated Ginny as she idly watched her teacher walk away.
"Particularly from this angle."
No one spoke for a little while, instead Atticus and Ginny merely stared back at the parents who were staring at them. Eventually most parents with children in tow left.
"So, why are we standing on our heads?" asked Atticus in a conversational tone.
"I don't know why I am. Why are you?"
"Cause you are?"
"If I jumped off a cliff, you'd jump off one too?"
"Without hesitation. What's the point in living if you're not?
"Ice cream?"
"I suppose."
There was a thoughtful silence.
"So, Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple," spoke Atticus.
"Really? That's stupid, why'd she do that?" asked Ginny as she turned her head as much as she could toward her brother.
"Probably for the same reason why you're standing on your head. You just decided to." There was another pause as Ginny thought over what her brother said.
"Are you saying that Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple just because she did?"
"Yup, just like you standing on your head and refusing to move."
"How did you know I refused to move?"
"I know you."
"Oh. But naming a child after a piece of fruit and standing on your head are two very different things."
"How so? They were done for the same reason.
"Standing on your head and a living baby are two different things. One is an action, while the other is a thing."
"No, they're both actions. You stood on your head and she named her kid Apple. The kid is a kid even if her name was Pineapple or Martini Glass or Bob."
"I think there is a lesson in this."
"What's that?"
"If naming a kid Apple is the same as standing on your head, then I don't think I should be standing on my head."
"Good idea. Want to go home and listen to some Backstreet Boys?"
"Okay." The two shuffled to there feet and hung onto the other as the world began to spin from all the blood rushing out of their heads. Then they picked up there knapsacks and began to walk home.
"Did you know, kid, that all that blood rushing to your head would eventually make it explode in a gruesome wave of grey matter?"
"Really?"
"I'm not sure, but it's something like that."
"Hum."
The two continued on carelessly.
------------------------
Alright, alright! I'm sorry, Linda. It's finally up. Happy? Okay, I think we've met everyone and you've got the basic gist of their characters. I swear the next chapter will begin the plot. Review if you want, but don't bother to flame. I'll read it, dismiss it and more then likely delete it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
As it Stands:
Sparrow O'Connelly-Thomas, age 48. Charlie Thomas – age 50 Finn (Findabhair)Thomas- age 17-Female Atticus Thomas- age 16- Male Ginny Thomas - age 6- female
Disclaimer: Own nothing.
Bowling: The Sport of the Broken Hearted
Chapter 1: FREAKY FRIDAY'S
Mac awoke sluggishly to her phone ringing. In a daze she turned to her alarm clock sitting beside her on the side table. 5:00AM blared back at her.
"Ahhh," yelled Mac jumping away from it in terror and slamming her head into the other side table as she landed. Muttering swear words to herself, Mac picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hello, dear! I just found you the perfect husband! He has blonde hair and eyes to die for! A little lean in the purse, only worth a couple million, but you are past your prime and you can not expect the best! Now, do you want to hear more?" Mac looked at the phone in her hand for a second confused.....then quite calmly hung it up. That was weird, she thought. Just as she had started to lie down, the phone started to ring again. Mac just stared at it for a second quizzically before calmly picking it up.
"Hello?"
"What happened dear? I was talking to you and then I got disconnected!" Slam went the phone into the cradle and on went Mac's brain...sort of. Frantically Mac punched in a number. Someone picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi Sparrow, its Mac. Why is your mother phoning me?"
"Because that's what family likes to do from time to time to keep in contact?"
"AT 5 AM!?" Mac officially woke up.
"Oh no." Sparrow sounded like someone had just died.
"What do you mean, oh no?" asked Mac as she looked at her alarm clock again in disgust.
"It's started."
"What's started?" Mac asked forgetting about the alarm clock for a moment.
"The early morning phone calls of course. I should have seen this coming!"
"What?"
"The early morning phone calls. You're 28 and not married."
"What does the one have to do with the other?" Mac was not in the mood for guessing games and her tone implied that.
"When I turned 28 my mother started phoning me at 4 am to either try to set me up or just to talk about inane things."
"Alright, so this is an O'Connelly thing?"
"Oh no, this is a My Mother thing. You've turned 28 and are not married. Therefore my mother feels she must start phoning you in the early hours to chat."
"Why would she do that?" There was a pause before Sparrow answered, of which I'm sure Sparrow took the phone away from her ear and looked at it deeply confused.
"It's my mother! She hasn't made sense since the 60's. And since it was the 60's you have to wonder if she ever did!"
"That'll be rather inconvenient."
"You want to talk about inconvenient! She phoned me at 4! In fact she still does."
"Why didn't you just let the phone ring?"
"Tried that, didn't work."
"What do you mean? If you don't answer the phone, she can't talk to you."
"Foolish child, do you honestly think that will stop MY mother?"
"What do you mean?" asked Mac as she fluffed her pillow.
"How long ago did you get off the phone with her and how did you get off so quickly?"
"Five minutes and I think I may have hung up on her. Twice." Mac for a second looked horrified by the realization of this fact, but then seemed to remember that it was 5 a.m. and she wasn't responsible for her actions that early in the morning.
"Oh no."
"Quit saying that!"
"Fine, but if you're naked I suggest you throw on a robe or something. My mother doesn't stop for doors."
"You mean she's going to come here?" asked Mac quickly getting out bed and throwing on a robe as suggested.
"Going to come, she's probably already in your building."
"But it's 5 in the morning!" said Mac picking up her alarm clock and waving it about. At that moment there was a brief knock at the door.
"Oh my God," Mac muttered, smiling slightly because of the complete absurdity of the situation.
"When she comes in let me talk to her."
"I haven't let her in yet," said Mac putting some slippers on her feet.
"Look up kid." Mac did and there standing right in front of her dangling a key was Gwen.
"Phone," Mac greeted handing it over while she ripped the alarm clock cord out of the wall.
"Thank you dear. Greetings and salutations! Oh, it's only you Sparrow dear." Mac went to put some tea on. It was going to be a long morning.
Little did Mac know later that day she'd be in jail for throwing a shoe at her employer.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Findabhair (Finn-ah-veer) Thomas, known pretty much exclusively as Finn, prepared for battle. With lunch tray in hand, she walked calmly toward one of the lunch tables crowded with various people.
"What the hell do you want Thomas?" asked a cute boy with blue as she approached his table.
Finn did not even hesitate. She dumped her entire spaghetti plate onto his head. Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and stared.
"That is what I wanted to do and this is what I want to say, you cow. You come near Jack again, I will make you cry." Calmly Finn turned on her heel and headed back the way she came. The boy now with spaghetti sauce dripping off his head turned onto his brand new looking orange designer label shirt sputtered for a second. Then, quickly getting to his feet, he opened his mouth to say something. He was cut off before he could even mutter a peep by Finn.
"Save it. I really don't care to hear what unoriginal insults you have. This is how it stands. You even look at Jack again, I will make you cry. From pain? From humiliation? From pure anger? I don't know yet. But if you piss me off enough right now, I could easily make it all three." With that, Finn continued to walk calmly out of the cafeteria.
Finn was aptly named. At the time of Sparrow's pregnancy, Gwen had unfortunately gone through a phase where she believed she had failed in life (eventually disproved to herself when she managed to get Jay's oldest child married off to a multi-billionaire who had connections to Dutch royalty). In that time, Gwen decided that at least one of her grandchildren had to be named after her, so she could symbolically re-live her life again. Again, unfortunately Sparrow was the only one who was pregnant at the time and found herself bombarded by her mother, which of course meant the rest of the family, dropping not so subtle hints to name her child Gwen. Sparrow proclaiming that she rather her child suffer the fate of Atlas (dude that has to hold the world up forever) then that of her Mothers, said no. Well, Sparrow held out for nine months. But somehow Gwen convinced the doctor not to give Sparrow drugs while she was in labor until she agreed to name the child after her. To Sparrow's credit, I suppose, she held out for a good 6 hours on pure spit and anger, but eventually succumbed. But with a twist. She named her baby girl Findabhair, which was the Irish version of her Mothers base name, Gwenhyvar.
As it was, Finn had her grandmother's ability to scare the hell out of people as well. It was a general knowledge that no smart person crossed Finn who wanted to live.
----------------------------------------------
Atticus Thomas discovered his littlest sister standing upon her head starring into space when he came to pick her up after school one Friday afternoon.
Virgina Thomas, named for the song, "Meet Virgina," by Train, was an artist and a small six year old with a rather interesting take on life. Known as Ginny, she refused to wear pants and always insisted on skirts, never dresses. She loved the children's writer Jon Scieszka, the American version of Sailor Moon and the Beatles. Virgina actually loved the Backstreet Boys to such an extent that the mere mention of Nsync would often cause her to become violently upset and so, unable to speak for up to a half hour. You knew she was really mad at you, if she called you an Nsync lover or worse yet, a N-I-N-E-T-Y- E-I-G-H-T D-E-G-R-E-E-'S fan. She was an odd duck alright, which could help explain what was happing now.
Her lunch box- with a picture of the Backstreet boys on it- sat right beside her head, while her kitty knapsack was strapped to her back. She was wearing a poka-dot skirt and because her feet were up and her head down, it gave everyone a clear view of her floating clouds underwear. Her bright red pig tails lay on the concrete street, contrasting with the pink from her glass's frame. Everything, including the underwear, had splatters of paint on it. Blue, yellow, pink, purple, forest green, etc, you name a color it was probably on there.
Ginny's kindergarten teacher was kneeling down besides her, trying desperately to convince the little girl to stand up. Her voice had that desperate edge voices sometimes get when you know that you have taken on a losing battle, but for appearance sake at least, you must keep trying. Many of the children were openly laughing and pointing, while their parents were quickly shushing them and shooting the strange little girl confused looks.
It made for quite an interesting picture.
But eventually Atticus knew he had to intervene. But he could get a photo first. The flash from the camera instantly drew the attention of Mrs. Mullins and Ginny.
"Hi, Stinky."
"Greetings Miss. Virgina, Queen of the Cards."
"Thank Providence. YOU do SOMETHING with her," greeted Mrs. Mullins, in a typically exasperated tone. So Atticus did. He dropped his bag beside his sisters and stood on his head too. Mrs. Mullin's merely stared for a second before walking away, her shoulders slouched and shaking as though crying.
"I think that I'm going to be moved again. She looks ready to crack," speculated Ginny as she idly watched her teacher walk away.
"Particularly from this angle."
No one spoke for a little while, instead Atticus and Ginny merely stared back at the parents who were staring at them. Eventually most parents with children in tow left.
"So, why are we standing on our heads?" asked Atticus in a conversational tone.
"I don't know why I am. Why are you?"
"Cause you are?"
"If I jumped off a cliff, you'd jump off one too?"
"Without hesitation. What's the point in living if you're not?
"Ice cream?"
"I suppose."
There was a thoughtful silence.
"So, Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple," spoke Atticus.
"Really? That's stupid, why'd she do that?" asked Ginny as she turned her head as much as she could toward her brother.
"Probably for the same reason why you're standing on your head. You just decided to." There was another pause as Ginny thought over what her brother said.
"Are you saying that Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple just because she did?"
"Yup, just like you standing on your head and refusing to move."
"How did you know I refused to move?"
"I know you."
"Oh. But naming a child after a piece of fruit and standing on your head are two very different things."
"How so? They were done for the same reason.
"Standing on your head and a living baby are two different things. One is an action, while the other is a thing."
"No, they're both actions. You stood on your head and she named her kid Apple. The kid is a kid even if her name was Pineapple or Martini Glass or Bob."
"I think there is a lesson in this."
"What's that?"
"If naming a kid Apple is the same as standing on your head, then I don't think I should be standing on my head."
"Good idea. Want to go home and listen to some Backstreet Boys?"
"Okay." The two shuffled to there feet and hung onto the other as the world began to spin from all the blood rushing out of their heads. Then they picked up there knapsacks and began to walk home.
"Did you know, kid, that all that blood rushing to your head would eventually make it explode in a gruesome wave of grey matter?"
"Really?"
"I'm not sure, but it's something like that."
"Hum."
The two continued on carelessly.
------------------------
Alright, alright! I'm sorry, Linda. It's finally up. Happy? Okay, I think we've met everyone and you've got the basic gist of their characters. I swear the next chapter will begin the plot. Review if you want, but don't bother to flame. I'll read it, dismiss it and more then likely delete it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.