From What I Saw
Chapter Four:
Secrets Revealed
"Lets get this party started!" Zell said as he came in from the kitchen carrying a platter of hotdogs.
I could hear Squall sigh. I don't think he meant to sigh that loud but it was pretty loud. Even Zell heard it.
"Oh come on man! You never eat hotdogs at school! Why don't you just eat one!" Zell said as he pushed a hotdog in Squall's face. Squall pulled away and mumbled something.
"What did you say Squall, I couldn't hear you?" Zell said as Squall turned to look at him.
Squall mumbled something more but Zell couldn't personally make it out. I could understand him though. There's something wrong with that. I was sitting across the room, and I could understand him. Zell's been listening to his music just a little bit too loud now hasn't he?
"I'M VEGETARIAN!" Squall screamed in Zells face. Zell almost fell over from the shock of being yelled at. I knew it would come sooner or later. I knew I had to intervene.
"Hey children children! Lets watch some women, and not beat each other up in the process. This was supposed to be fun! Not dangerous!" I yelled. Yeah I think I got their attention. With the looks on their faces, I definitely know I got their attention.
Just in time. As soon as Irvine knocked on the door, none other than Selphie answered it.
"Irvy! Come on in! We've been waiting for you, well or at least I have!" Selphie yelled as she dragged Irvine in by his wrists. It was so funny how Selphie just loved Irvine like he was her little puppy.
There were so many people there. I didn't know Quistis had that many friends. I mean I knew she was capable of having friends, but she was distancing herself from us because she was an instructor.
"Hey Irvine." Seductive voices were heard calling Irvine's name. I couldn't believe that he was actually going to do this.
Then there she was. Quistis. She was over by Rinoa and Ellone drinking some punch. She was having a good time from what I saw.
"Quisty! Look at what I found!" Selphie yelled as Quistis looked over. She smiled and then left Ellone and Rinoa.
"Lets go." Quistis said to Irvine. I was so confused. He had just gotten there! How come he had to leave? Oh wait! What if she found out? That couldn't have happened! Unless someone told her.
Where was she taking him? To the bathroom? What in the world? Quistis gave him some very odd-looking clothes, and shoved him into the bathroom. Irvine stood in front of the mirror.
"That was rude." He said as he smiled.
"Are you guys ready for the totally chickiest party in the entire history of Irvine Kinneas?" Irvine asked as he took off his shirt. He revealed a very nice toned 6 pack and threw his shirt to the floor.
"Well I guess you didn't come to see me naked, so I'm going to move to where you can't see me." Irvine said as he swung around to face the wall. We saw his shadow, and then the camera started to shake. Irvine had jumped up and down to get his pants off.
Then he started to put his stripper costume on. He was dressed like a police officer. Tight black leather pants, and a blue police officer shirt was what he wore. The last touch was the hat. TADA!
"Lets get going and see what happens next!" Irvine said as he opened the door. Quistis was standing outside the door and her jaw literally dropped when Irvine came out. "Hey Quistis where'd you get this outfit?" Irvine asked.
"Never mind, you have a job to do. No go out there and strip like there's no tomorrow!" Quistis said as she smiled.
Quistis looked over at the party and motioned something to someone. Then the music suddenly changed to the COPS theme song. Everyone looked over to Quistis, who moved out of Irvine's way so he could do his thing. The first thing we saw was Selphie lunging at Irvine.
"Whoa Selphie!" Irvine yelled she tackled him to the floor. Irvine had to pin her to the floor and yelled for someone to get him a chair.
"Hold on just one minute." Quistis said as she went over to her little kitchenette and pulled out a chair. She pulled the chair over, and sat Selphie down with much force. Irvine pulled out his handcuffs and strapped them on Selphie's wrist.
"Okay! Lets do this!" Irvine yelled as he began taking off his shirt. All the girls crowded him, and he yelled, "Do not! I repeat! Do not touch the merchandise!" All the girls backed off, and he continued his job.
Once Irvine had his shirt off he started swinging it around and finally tossed into the crowd of crazed girls. Then he made a motion for the girls to help him remove his clothes. Once he was rid of everything but his underwear he took out his earring.
"Ladies calm down. Okay do you see this? What is it?" Irvine asked as they all replied, "An earring." I didn't know where he was going with this, but it seemed good.
"WRONG!" Irvine said as we saw his hand do a thumbs down. "This lovely earring is a sign that your personal stripper, the one and only, Irvine has been here." Irvine said as he stuck the earring in the wall and left it there.
Nice cover Irvine. Now get the rest of your job done, and get out of there.
"Nobody is allowed to remove this earring, and if you do, I will not ever give you my services EVER again! Capiesh?" Irvine said as he went back to the crowd. It was quite interesting. He went in with his underwear on, and then I think I saw it being passed around. I'll have to check the video again later.
"Okay! Whoever has my thong please give it back!" Irvine yelled as Squall nearly died laughing.
"I can't believe Irvine wears a thong!" Squall said as he fell out of the chair he was sitting on. That's the first time I'd ever seen him laugh that hard. It was something a little different. Zell and I exchanged glances, acknowledging the fact that Squall had gone loony.
Irvine's underwear was passed a little bit more and then handed to him.
Then Irvine looked over at Selphie, who was in the chair frowning like there was no tomorrow. She was obviously mad, and bored, and having no fun.
"Oh Selphie!" Irvine said as he came out of the crowd of women in just his underwear. Selphie gave him a big scowl and wouldn't look at him.
"Oh come on Selphie, if you look at me, I'll let you go." Selphie still didn't look at him.
"Why should I look at you? You didn't let me help you strip!" Selphie shouted in his face.
"Oh come on, you really think that? If you wanted to know, I have something else planned for you, but since you hate my guts, I guess I'll just get the bride to be do it."
Irvine turned around to look at Quistis, and she looked totally shocked. She almost looked like she was pleading with Selphie to do whatever Irvine wanted her to do.
Selphie then looked at Irvine, and said quietly, "Okay I'll do whatever you want."
Irvine whispered something in Selphie's ear. We couldn't hear it because of course, we were hanging on the wall if that makes any sense.
Selphie got a huge smile on her face, and then stood up and walked away.
After about ten minutes of Irvine being clobbered by women Selphie came back. She was dressed in a bunny costume carrying drinks on a silver tray.
"Hey people! I have drinks!" Selphie yelled as she scorned at the women on top of Irvine.
"Yeah ladies! Go get drinks! They'll rehydrate ya!" Irvine yelled as they got off him, and got some drinks.
Irvine was lucky to slip out of the room while they drank and carried on.
After everyone had finished their drinks, they realized that Irvine was missing. They all were furious and went to Quistis.
"WHERE IS HE!" Someone shouted in Quistis' face.
"I only paid him for an hour." Quistis said as she smiled. The girl walked away still fumed, but walked away.
Quistis turned down the music and got everyone's attention.
"Now it's time for us to settle down a little and play a little game I like to call, Secret Secret." Quistis said as everyone sat down on the floor in a large circle.
"Okay the way you play this game," Quistis said still standing up to give directions, " is you ask someone a question and they have to answer it truthfully, but we must keep it a secret from everyone else. It's a way to strengthen relationships, and totally embarrass someone in front of everyone here." Quistis said as she giggled and sat down next to Rinoa and Ellone.
"Okay, I'll go first." Quistis said as she looked around the circle.
"Ellone, what's the worst thing Zells ever done to you?"
Ellone hesitated, and Zell looked pretty nervous himself. I wonder what the dirt that he's trying to hide is. Well, I guess I'll find out eventually.
"Well, one time…" Ellone said as she paused to look at everyone in the circle. "Zell wanted to make me a romantic dinner. He got a table and put it out on the balcony and covered it with a tablecloth and put two very wonderful smelling candles. It was nice and slightly breezy, and Zell had gotten all dressed up in a tux. He'd made a three course meal."
Quistis butted in to stop the story, "How can this be something so bad? I mean I would love it if Seifer did this for me." Quistis said as all the girls agreed with her.
"LET ME FINISH THE STORY!" Ellone yelled. I looked over at Zell who was blushing.
"She kind of gets a little temperamental sometimes." Zell said as I nodded.
"Well anyway," Ellone said as she continued on with her story.
"Zell had cooked a three course meal, but what he forgot was that I am lac tos and tolerant. I broke out in hives and I almost couldn't see out my left eye. I had swelled up like a helium balloon, and I had to literally run to the Infirmary before I went totally blind."
The room was totally silent. Then suddenly everyone broke out in laughter. I saw out of the corner of my eye Zell sliding off his chair onto the floor.
After the laughter had died down, it was Ellone's turn to ask a question to someone in the circle.
"Selphie," Ellone said as Selphie already began to turn red. " Has Irvine ever tried to make a move on you, and if so, tell the story." Ellone said, as I couldn't help but laugh.
Squall looked over at me, and I replied his look with a, "This should be funny. Irvine with his pick up lines."
"Okay…" Selphie said in a hesitant tone.
"Well, Irvine and I had been going out for about a three months, and Irvine decided that we had been going out long enough to be able to take our relationship a step further. So one day he asked me if I wanted to go out. I of course accepted. I just had to be with my Irvy Poo. Well, we went on our date, and by the time I had gotten back to my room, Irvine asked if he could use my bathroom. I said yes and he was in there for quite a long time. When he did come out, I was on my bed humming my train song. Here comes Irvine in nothing but his underwear. It was quite interesting. He came out and just cleared his throat to get my attention. I tried to scream in sheer terror, because I knew what was coming, but I just couldn't. Irvine tried to make a move on me that night, but I refused it. I told him we had to wait and see where our lives took us."
"That was interesting." Rinoa said as she giggled a little.
"Okay Selphie, it's your turn." Quistis said as Selphie thought of what she could ask.
"Rinoa!" Selphie yelled suddenly. "What does Squall act like, when it's only you around?"
Rinoa wanted to tell, and you could see it in her eyes. Squalls face was the funniest thing I had ever seen. It was as if he was really caught up in the moment in which Rinoa could spill how Squall really acted when him and Rinoa were alone.
"You a little on the edge Puberty Boy?" I asked as Squall just stared at me. He gave me the death glare that I usually get when I have gone too far with my joking around.
"Gosh, I was just joking man. Chill out a little. We're not going to laugh at how you act when were not around. In fact, it would be better if we saw you chill out a little, instead of giving us the cold shoulder. Aint I right Zell?" I said a Squall and I both turned to look at Zell. He just looked at us. We stared at each other for a minute, and then Zell just shoved a hotdog in his mouth. He started mumbling something, but I couldn't make it out.
"You weren't listening were you Zell?" I asked as Zell shook his head violently.
"Chicken Wuss, what are we gonna do with you?" I asked as he stood up. He started punching the air, like he wanted to fight.
Zell suddenly fell to the floor coughing. I started to laugh, but then realized that Zell was choking on a piece of hotdog.
I hurried over to Zell and started squeezing on his stomach. After about 15 seconds of squeezing, I saw the chunk of hotdog fly out of Zell's mouth. I breathed a sigh of relief and dropped Zell to the floor. He was gasping for air, and was really red.
"Next time take consideration in your bites of hotdogs." Squall said as he smiled at Zell, who, if he hadn't just choked on a hotdog, would have clobbered poor Squall.
"LADIES!" I yelled. "Lets get back to paying attention to the victims on this video!" Zell and Squall took a seat on the floor in front of the TV.
Luckily we hadn't missed much. All we missed was Rinoa whining about keeping a promise to squall.
"RINOA! Would you just go so we can get on with the game?" Quistis said as Ellone added, "Yeah I mean it's not like Squall's gonna know you told!" as I thought, 'oh contraire.'
"Okay." Rinoa said quietly and acted defeated.
"Well, there's one certain thing that he has that has never seen anyone, but me and him." Rinoa said as Selphie cut in.
"RINOA! WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!" Selphie yelled as Quistis, Ellone, and all the other girls began to laugh.
"Selphie, that's not what I was talking about." Rinoa said sarcastically as she smiled at her.
"Oh." Selphie said as she turned about 10 shades of crimson.
"Okay Rinoa, go on with your story." Quistis said.
"Okay, his name is.. Is." Rinoa said as she hesitated.
Squall obviously knew exactly what she was going to tell, and didn't like it. Just by his face expression alone he could have killed a cat.
"His name is," Rinoa repeated, "GI Pierre, and it's Squalls favorite army doll that he's had since he could remember." Rinoa said as everyone in the room started laughing hysterically.
Zell and I were no different. We couldn't hold in our laughter. Zell was practically dying on the floor, and I was chuckling to myself. Squall was just sitting there looking not too pleased.
After our laughter had died down, the girl's laughter was still going strong.
"But remember Squall, you can't get mad at Rinoa because she will then know that we saw the bachelorette party and then she will tell Quistis and then I'll get in trouble." I said with a reasonable tone.
"Okay, who's hungry?" Quistis said as all the girls began to reply.
"Well, I have plenty of snacks, so lets go get something to eat, and we'll resume the game when we've filled ourselves full of junk food." Quistis said as all the girls cheered.
"He does have a point." Zell said bringing us back to our own conversation. Squall had an interesting look on his face. The wrinkles on his forehead told me he was trying to comprehend an emotion, now whether we would see that emotion or not, I was totally clueless. He gave me a look that I've never seen before. It was almost as if he was holding back laughter.
"Are you going to laugh Squall?" I asked as Squall looked away from me. He began shaking uncontrollably and all of a sudden, it hit me. Squall, the Ice Prince, Leonhart was laughing; hysterically to be exact.
As soon as I figured out that he was laughing, Squall began to laugh out loud. It was almost a honking noise. Like a goose. He would laugh quietly, but when he went for a gasp of air, he would honk. I've never seen Squall like that. I mean I've known him all my life, and he's never been like this.
"Well Zell," I said turning to Zell, "I think this is the starting of a new relationship." Zell smiled and nodded. He grabbed his coke and I grabbed my Pepsi.
"To the beginnings of a new way of life." I said as Zell added, "and to the beginnings of peace." We clanked our glasses together and each took a swig of our sodas.
Squall calmed down after a while and the girls eventually came back. They chatted a while and so did we.
"So Squall, what brought you to laugh?" Zell asked shoving a hotdog in his mouth. Squall sighed and looked at us both.
"Well, everyone has been telling me lately that I need to open up to everyone, and so I thought I would try out being, well, normal for a change…. What did you think?" Squall asked as Zell and I smiled.
"It was nice Squall, it is real good that you're becoming one of the group now. I could sure use a babysitter when I get kids." I said as I smiled. Squall scoffed and took a drink of his Mountain Dew.
"You know what?" Zell said, "I haven't had this much fun since, well since, NEVER!" Zell said as he shoved another hotdog in his mouth. Squall and I smiled and turned our attention back towards the TV.
"Okay girls, enough chit chat, lets get back to the game." Quistis said as Rinoa smiled.
"Okay, Quistis, have you ever gotten passionate with Seifer?" Rinoa asked as she giggled. 'Can't keep her nose out of our business huh?' I thought as I chuckled to myself.
"Well," Quistis said as she paused. Wait.. Does Quistis have any dirt on us? Because if she does, then I must have been too drunk to remember.
"Well, we have kissed very passionately before, we've slept in the same bed before, but done nothing, and that's about it." Quistis said as Rinoa cut in.
"About it? No tell everything." Rinoa said with a satisfactory smile. Quistis looked down at the floor and said very quickly, "and one time Seifer took a shower while I was I it." Everyone was astonished. They had never heard of this kind of behavior coming from Quistis.
"Okay, my turn." Quistis said trying to change the subject as fast as she could.
"Or wait, I have an even better idea." Quistis said giving us a mischievous smile.
"I have all of the keys for my students dorms. I say we sneak into the guys dorms and check out what they have in there."
I just about dropped to the floor praying that they didn't. Wait, even if they did, I already moved out of my dorm, so there's no evidence of what I have.
I looked over at Squall and Zell and they looked absolutely petrified. Too bad we wont be able to see what they're doing. Or maybe they wont go. Plus it's after curfew. Quistis wouldn't do something like that. I know she wouldn't.
"Quistis, I don't think it's such a good idea, because we could get in trouble, and plus, it's after curfew." Ellone said as all the girls nodded. Quistis sighed and agreed.
"Well, what should we do now?" Quistis asked as Selphie smiled hugely.
"IT'S KAROAKE TIME!" Selphie yelled as she turned on her karaoke stereo, and began to sing, "Like a Virgin".
"Oh good Hyne." I said taking another swig of the barely carbonated beverage in my hand. Squall seemed to be enjoying himself. He was swaying back and forth with the music, and was singing the words along with Selphie. I really do wonder what he does in his spare time.
"Well, I'll be back, I need to potty." I said, getting a cold glare from Squall. Maybe he doesn't want me standing in front of the TV. I walked to the downstairs bathroom, and closed the door. I did my thing, and heard Zell and Squall whooping. I wonder what all the commotion is about. I zipped up my fly, and flushed, and headed out the door only to find something I would see only in my dreams. Girls, whipped cream, and cherries.
I thought I was imagining it, so I shook my head, but the images stayed the same. Girls with whipped food are hot. I have to admit it. Maybe I can get Quistis to use some whipped cream once were married. AHH get out of my head you stupid thought. Even though it is tempting, I promised Quistis I wouldn't do anything until the wedding.
I headed back over to my chair, and who else but Irvine comes waltzing in the door.
"Took ya long enough." Zell said sarcastically, acting a little bit drunk. I wonder if he spiked his soda. If not, he can do a pretty good job of pretending to be one.
"Sorry, I got caught by the guards after I tried to leave, and they thought that I was trying to go to a bar or something. Now why would I want to do that?" He asked. Of course I knew the answer, but I dare not tell him. He could beat me up. The last thing I needed is a black eye for my wedding. Granted, it is far off, but still, fighting with one of my groomsmen is something I didn't want to have to deal with.
"Come take a seat, grab a soda from the kitchen, get comfortable." I said pointing to the kitchen. Irvine helped himself to a Dr. Pepper, and a slice of cold pepperoni pizza from lunch.
"So what has happened so far?" Irvine asked coming out of the kitchen with something in both hands. I smiled at him, as he stole a cushion and sat down on the floor with a thud.
"Nothin much, we can just show you once they're done." I said, finishing off my can of soda. I never realized how much fun watching girls could be. I hadn't had that feeling since before the sorceress war, when I still hunted around for girlfriends. The buzz made me feel lightheaded, and I felt content.
As I directed my attention back towards the TV I noticed that some of the girls had fallen asleep already. I looked at the clock and it was 12:47. Man, I never knew watching women interact was so time consuming. I laughed at my thought and got the attention of Squall and Irvine. Zell was still rolling on the floor acting like a drunk. I seriously think now that he spiked his soda. How, I'll never know, but he did, and it shows.
"What are you laughing at?" Squall said seriously. I smiled and took my time to answer.
That's for me to know, and you to find out.