IV

The Great Escape

The Joker was giggling ever so slightly. Her plan was absurd, but it just might work. Should we go along with this plan? I nervously flipped the coin, palmed it, and discovered our fate. We would go along with this plan. That was that. Easy decisions. We like it that way.

I crouched on one side of the door and the Joker posed rather strangely on the other side, standing on one foot with arms raised like a ballerina. We waited. Someone would be coming along any time to check on us. When they looked in and didn't see us they'd surely open the door, and we'd be ready. All we had to do was grab the door and get the sonofabitch's attention long enough for the Joker to pounce them with the broken mirror piece.

A sound. Voices more precisely and they were coming from outside the door. The same male voice that had thrown us in. The same one that had mocked us. We'd kill him ourselves. Yes, yes. I waited, it seemed like years and then a rattle of keys and the knob began to turn. Too late to look up and make sure the Joker had noticed. As the door opened we grabbed it and came face to face with two people. This wasn't right. One was bound in a straight jacket. He must have been meant to go in the cell with us. The nurse looked at me wild eyed as the Joker slipped her arm around his neck, the sharp mirror piece barely touching his venerable flesh. I grabbed at the other inmate and pulled him into the room, tossing him to the floor.

"Don't say a fucking word, or we'll kill you," I whispered urgently. He starred blankly at me and slowly nodded. We closed the door and turned to face the nurse.

"Mock us now, you son-of-a-bitch," we sang as we brought our knee into his groin. He groan and doubled our slightly, the mirror nicking his throat a bit, sending a small trail of red liquid dripping down his neck

"Do you really think it wise to kill him," a wavering male voice spoke from behind me. "Now?."

I turned took face the other inmate. He was still slightly blank looking in the eyes, and we wondered what he had for a brain. "And just why the hell shouldn't we?" we questioned.

"Here's the question: Would it be easier to get out of here with me leading you out in that uniform, or with you two running outta here like idiots?" he questioned a bit too cocky for his own good, but he did have a point. Logically it would be much easier to sneak out than just plain hightail it out. We pulled out the coin and flipped. Logic was the way to go.

"Fine." We said flatly.

"Hey! but!" the Joker started.

"You can still kill him, just after we remove his uniform." I interjected.

"Wonderful!" she replied, her tone and grin almost scaring me. We removed the uniform form the nurse, roughly, with a final kick to the stomach. We turned to remove the straight jacket from the male inmate, the gurgling last breath of the nurse filling our ears with pleasure. What a sweet end for him. We smiled slightly. Our smile quickly turned to a scowl as we remembered that we didn't even know who this person we were escaping with was.

"Who are you anyway?" We spoke up.

"Maybe a better question is... why am I?" he spoke dramatically. His lips seeming to cling to his last word.

"Does everything have to be a goddamn question!" We raged. This was getting old. Why should we trust someone who always speaks in riddles. Who can't even tell us who the hell he is? What a jackass. We should just finish him now and leave his body to drain in this white hell. We flipped. Fuck! He was to live... this time.

"You are wrong Twofer." the Joker piped in, grinning madly, "everything must be a riddle to him. He is, after all, known as..." She just stopped, red lips poised in that creepy grin. We waited a moment for her to finish, but she obviously was toying with us.

"As?" I asked flatly, rather annoyed with that pale face and disheveled hair.

"Why the Riddler of course." She giggled, then laughed, then exploded into fits of laughter that can only be categorized as insane.

—x---

The Riddler was a goofy looking kid. Tall and unnaturally thin. Very easy to snap his scrawny little neck. I grinned as the image of his neck snapping in my hands appeared before my eyes, but he could prove to be useful. His plan, while not having the class of waltzing out with a dead nurse on my arm, would give us a better chance of actually getting out of here.

"Let's get a move on," Two Face said irritably.

"Yes, what's the point of standing around here?" the Riddler replied smugly as he stood there, arms across his chest, in scrubs that were far to short for his long legs and far to wide for his narrow waist. I giggled at the sight, he looked like an elephant that had been starved. Scrubs clinging to him like loose skin, all bunched up at the top and then sitting well above his ankles. He darted around me and grabbed the back of my jacket. I resisted the urge to scream as I tired to break free, but he held me fast being well stronger than one would have thought.

"Off we go kiddies," he said dragging me over to Two Face and harnessing her in a similar fashion. She seemed to take it a bit better than I, a glossy look forming over her eyes.

Off we went. My face was at the floor. This was insulting and degrading. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my eyes open against the light as we strolled down one hallway after the next. Watching the feet of those we passed. None said a word, no hellos, no good days, no what the fuck are you doings. Nothing. It was as if they all were in on the little plot and were letting us escape.

I glanced up to meet eyes with the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His medium length blondish hair falling over his bright blue eyes as he smiled at me. A smile that would forever haunt me. I smiled back as he took a step closer. My eyes widened, was he gonna stop us?

"Excuse me, but which patients are these?" the blonde said as he glanced over at Two Face and then his eyes darting back at me, smiling boldly.

"Just some more loonies Doc." the Riddler replied with a slight southern accent.

"These are out patients Mr..." he paused to glance at the ID tag hanging from the Riddler's neck.

"I'm just moving them to a different room. Ask my boss if you want to know anything else about them" the Riddler replied hastily as he lugged me away from the blonde doctor in the black black suit. The doctor seemed upset at being treated this way and looked a tad bit distressed at the lack of respect that he had been shown.

"Bye Doc, hope to see you again really soon!" I shouted back at him with a slight blush to my tone. At this he smiled. His smile was almost as wide as my own and I blushed and looked back at the floor as I was drug around a corner.

Lost in my own thoughts I barely realized we had reached the front room of the hospital. The Riddler was discussing politics with the woman at the front counter, while Two Face continued to stare into space as if she had no mind at all. Looking around there were no security guards, only a few people sitting the white waiting room.

Time to add a bit of class to the escape. This had been a far too quiet and forgettable escape. The Riddler had relaxed his grip on me. I pulled my arm forward and with glee shoved my elbow into his stomach. He doubled over let go of me. His face a mixture of shock and pain.

Catlike I pounced over the counter and embraced the woman. She screamed, but it quickly faded as I took one arm and stabbed her repeatedly in the chest with the mirror. Taking her into my arms once more, I strode out from behind the counter. I began to hum and took the dead woman for a last dance. We twirled around the room and straight out into the sunlight beyond the front door.

When I glanced around Two Face was smiling broadly at me, her eyes had returned to there normal state, and the Riddler was gawking. Two Face grabbed him and pulled him toward the nearest vehicle. Two Face must have wired it or something cause they were pulling out of the parking spot frantically waving for me to join them. I giggled and dropped the nurse with a soft thud onto the steps of the asylum. I bent low, took her hand and brought to almost to my lips.

"Thank you for the dance m'lady," I said dropping her hand and bowing low.