Chapter Four
Charlotte watched as Penelope carried her newborn daughter away for a bath. She sighed and rested her head tiredly upon her pillow. Her body was in tremendous pain, but it was worth it to see her beautiful little girl. She looked so much like Colleen had when she was born. Each of her babies had come out looking the same, really. Brian had been tiny, but he'd had the same eyes and the same blonde hair. Matthew had been the biggest of them all, and then there was Mitchell. He'd been almost Matthew's weight, but he'd been almost yellow when he was born. He'd been sick from the time he was born until the time he took his last breath in his sleep.
Colleen and Brian came walking in.
"Penelope said we could come sit with ya. How ya feelin'?" Colleen asked, moving to pour water into a basin. She wrung out a sponge and wiped her mother's forehead.
"Just fine, darlin'," Charlotte promised. "Don't fuss none over me."
"She had Katie. Is Katie okay?" Brian asked.
"Yes. She's perfect," Charlotte said with a smile. Colleen could hear the exhaustion in Charlotte's voice. Poor Charlotte deserved to rest.
"C'mon, Brian. Let's let Ma get her rest," Colleen said softly, taking her brother's hand. Before Charlotte could respond, the doors opened, and Matthew entered with a confused expression upon his face and tears in his eyes. Right behind him was Ethan.
"Ethan!" Charlotte exclaimed. "What in the world…"
"Charlotte," he breathed, a flood of emotions coloring his face. Charlotte didn't buy it for one moment, but she was too tired to tell him to leave. "The children told me ya were in here. I had to make sure you're all right."
"I'm fine, Ethan," she said, as he moved to hug her. She winced in pain, and Matthew took his father's arm.
"Careful with her," Matthew said quickly. Charlotte felt Ethan pull away, and she waited until the pain subsided to open her eyes. "They had to cut the baby out." Ethan looked somewhat surprised, and he turned back to Charlotte.
"Are ya feelin' okay?"
"I'm fine now," Charlotte lied. "The baby's fine too, if you were wondering." Ethan settled down on a stool beside the bed, and Matthew pulled the children toward the door.
"But…" Brian protested.
"Let's leave 'em be for a minute," Matthew said reluctantly. Once they were gone, Charlotte breathed a heavy sigh.
"What are you doin' here?"
"I saw the boy out at the stables."
"Ya just happened to be in Denver, did ya?"
"I was comin' home, 'til I saw ya were here."
"Do you expect me to believe that? We've heard from you once, Ethan!"
"I sent out more letters, Charlotte, I swear I did. Maybe it was after ya left home."
"There ain't no home left."
"Matthew told me that. Said it burned down."
"Right to the ground," Charlotte replied. "If I hadn't woke up, we would've died."
"I shoulda been there," Ethan said quickly, taking off his hat and placing it on his knee. Charlotte looked away and shook her head.
"Yeah, you should've been," she replied. "But I got us out anyhow." She looked back toward him. "You don't have to stay, Ethan." Ethan took her hand, but she pulled away from him. "Don't. You should leave."
"I ain't goin' anywhere. I was comin' home to ya, Charlotte," Ethan explained. "Ya gotta believe me. I've straightened out. I know I belong at home whether or not I got a good job or not. My place is with my family."
"We don't even have a home. Not anymore."
"I'll re-build."
"No. Ethan, ya ain't suited to bein' a family man. I saw it 'fore the children were born. Ya don't need to stay. We've done alright without ya." Ethan sighed heavily.
"I'll make up these past couple months to ya. I swear it, Charlotte. Let me have that chance. I've missed ya all so much." Charlotte looked away. This wasn't the man she fell in love with so long ago, but he was still the father of her children. "The baby?"
"She's fine."
"She?"
"Katherine. I call her Katie." Ethan let out a slow breath.
"I always wanted two of each," he chuckled. "Where is she? I wanna see her."
"The nurse'll bring her back later. I need to rest, Ethan. You should go see the children."
"No. I'm stayin' right here with you. I'm here now, Charlotte. I ain't goin' nowhere."
The next afternoon, Michaela was feeling rested and lying back in a cot beside her husband's hospital bed. Her hand was on her still nauseated stomach, and her eyes were fixed on her husband's still form. He'd come out of surgery nearly six hours ago, and he was not showing any signs of waking up.
Six hours. A lot had happened in six hours. She'd grown faint after Sully's surgery, and thankfully, Dr. Bernard had been there to catch her. Michaela had insisted she was fine, but, after an examination by Dr. Bernard, she'd received some very interesting news.
She let out a heavy sigh and focused her eyes on the ceiling. She traced patterns with her eyes along the cracks, and she felt herself feeling even worse. She swallowed air, trying to settle her nerves. Nothing wanted to work. Nothing wanted to help. Tears stung her eyes, for she knew what was wrong. She knew it, and she would have to face it sooner or later. But right now, she needed to focus on Sully's recovery.
His pulse had returned to normal after the surgery, and Dr. Bernard had promised Michaela that the compression from the hit he took was repaired, though Sully had to fight to survive. He was growing weaker, and it would take a lot of effort to make it back to consciousness. Michaela had faith in her husband. She knew he was going to make it.
A knock came to the door, and Michaela sat up, feeling her head spinning. She gained her composure and smiled weakly when she saw Lydia and Albert standing there. She stood and walked over to them.
"You're leaving?"
"We can stay a little longer, Michaela," Lydia said quietly. "Perhaps it would be better that way?"
"No. You go on to Colorado Springs."
"I don't know about this," Albert said quietly. "The doctor going with isn't the friendliest fellow."
"Who is it?"
"Dr. Monroe." Michaela shuddered inwardly. "You've heard of him?" She couldn't help but feel relived that he would be out of her hair for a little while, though she felt bad that Lydia would have to go to him for problems until she was able to go to Colorado Springs.
"Yes," Michaela replied. "You should hurry if you don't want to miss the stage."
"We'll take care of everything once we get there," Lydia promised. "We'll make sure everything is taken to the clinic." Michaela appreciated how Lydia and Albert were taking charge. Lydia wrapped her arms around Michaela's trembling shoulders. "He's going to wake up, Michaela. Believe that."
"I do," Michaela whispered. "With everything I have, I believe." Michaela felt tears trickle down her cheeks again, and she brushed them away before they pulled out of their hug. Albert was the next one to hug Michaela, and he gave her a squeeze.
"We're just a telegram away," he promised.
"I'll be there as soon as I can to settle the paperwork with the bank," Michaela promised. "Give me a week or so."
"We'll take care of it until then," Albert promised. "Just worry about taking care of yourself." Michaela nodded, and she watched as her friends walked away. She moved back toward Sully's bed and sat down. She shook her head slowly.
"Do you remember when we first met?" she whispered, smiling a little. "I believe we were in a similar situation as we are right now." You were the patient, and I was praying that you would survive. I fell in love with you that night, I think. You were beautiful to me. Your eyes were so blue, your smile wasn't there, but it followed shortly after. I loved your spirit, Sully. You had such a fighting spirit inside of you, and I knew that it was one to match mine. We were destined to walk separate paths only to join in the middle and continue on together. We're so different, Sully, but in the same respect, we're the same. We share a soul, and we can't live without one another. I don't know what I would do without you, and I certainly don't want to find out."
She rested her head upon Sully's arm, and she sighed softly, her fingers playing with the curls that poked out from the bandages. He looked so different wrapped up like that. But, he was beautiful. She missed his eyes, though. She missed looking into those sparkling blue oceans and feeling that all was well with the world.
She picked his hand up in hers and laced her fingers through his. She leaned up to his ear and softly kissed the flesh there. She needed to give him something to look forward to; something to hope for and wake up for.
"I'm pregnant," she breathed. Tears spilled out again, and she let out a sob. "Don't let our child grow up without his father." She pulled away from Sully's bed and curled up in her cot. She began to sob into her hands, her entire world seeming to crumble and curl up around her. Alone. She did feel alone, now more than ever.
Pregnant. She certainly was overjoyed, and she was expected to deliver in March. But, her happiness was obviously overshadowed by Sully's grim condition, and she wanted him to wake so she could see the happiness in his eyes when she told him again. A baby. She couldn't believe it! But, the thought of her husband never getting to hear the news, see his child grow inside of her and be born into the world brought the tears again, and she sobbed louder, feeling even more ill by the moment.
"Don't cry," came a small voice from the doorway. Michaela turned onto her side to see Brian standing there with his hands in his overall pockets. She smiled a little and dried her tears.
"Brian," she whispered. "Is something wrong?" He shook his head.
"Nope. I just wanted to come see ya."
"Does your family know where you are?" she asked, pulling herself up and smoothing out her skirt before wiping her eyes. Brian shook his head sheepishly.
"Nope, but I was gonna go right back. Ma's not feelin' real good, and the other doctors are too busy to look at her. Could ya go see her?" Michaela smiled a little.
"Brian, I'd be happy to go check on your mother. But, you have to promise not to run off without telling your brother and sister where you're going."
"Don't ya like me comin' to see ya?" Michaela knelt in front of Brian.
"Oh, of course I do! I just don't want you to worry your family! I'm sure they love you very much." Brian nodded.
"They do. My pa came back, and he's been tryin' to get us to be a real family again with him. I think Ma's mad, 'cause he's been gone a long time." Michaela stood and took Brian's hand.
"Well, let's get you back to your family before they start to worry." Brian nodded, and Michaela led him out of the room and down toward the maternity hall. Colleen, Matthew and Ethan were walking toward them.
"Brian!" Colleen exclaimed. "Ya gotta stop doin' that!"
"Don't worry. He's fine," Michaela assured them.
"Thanks Ma'am," Ethan said, tipping his hat. "I don't believe we've met. Ethan Cooper. I'm their Pa." Michaela felt unnerved by this man, and she saw the way his eyes roamed over her body. But, she swallowed hard and nodded her head.
"Dr. Michaela Quinn," Michaela replied.
"Doctor? Well!"
"She's gonna go check on Ma," Brian announced.
"Alright, well, thank ya, Ma'am. Me and the kids were 'bout to go find some dinner." Michaela nodded. She glanced at Matthew who looked utterly uncomfortable. He was standing as far away from Ethan as he could in their small group, and Colleen didn't look very comfortable either. Michaela wished she could help them, but she knew that it wasn't her place; it wasn't her family. No matter what she sensed about Ethan Cooper, it wasn't her place to step in and voice her opinion.
She watched the children walk off with him, and she walked in to see Charlotte. Charlotte was cradling her sleeping daughter, and Michaela smiled at the scene.
"Good afternoon, Charlotte," she said with a smile. Charlotte looked up, her eyes bright but her face pale.
"Afternoon, Doc."
"I just ran into your husband and children in the hallway. Brian asked me to come check on you. He says you're feeling ill?" Charlotte looked down at baby Katie.
"I was, but I'm feeling better." Charlotte smiled. "You wanna hold the baby?" Michaela felt her heart skip a beat, and she found herself thinking of her own child.
"Oh, Charlotte, I don't know…"
"C'mon, Doc. I'm sure you'll be fine with her. She's sleepin'." Michaela bit her lip nervously as Charlotte handed the child toward her. Michaela easily took the baby toward her bosom, and she cradled her carefully. The baby's mouth made a sucking motion for a moment before she yawned and was still. Michaela smiled a little, and Charlotte grinned, observing the lady doctor with her youngest child.
"You'll be a good ma someday. Ya don't have children already, do ya?" Michaela smiled and shook her head.
"Not yet. My husband and I haven't been married long." Charlotte smiled. "He wants children as much as I do." Tears glistened in her eyes. Charlotte reached out and touched Michaela's knee.
"God only gives us what we can handle, even if sometimes it don't seem like it. Your husband's gonna wake up."
"You believe so?"
"I know so," Charlotte said with a smile. "I've got a mind for these things. You wait and see." Michaela sighed softly and looked down at the precious life in her arms. She couldn't believe that within several months, she would have one of these of her very own. It was frightening, especially because these were tiny, helpless creatures that needed so much attention and love. Oh, Michaela had more than enough love to give, but she was afraid to give too much of it and be hurt again. Her mind drifted to Sully. She had loved him with everything she had, and now he was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. What if she put too much hope into having this child? What if God had decided that she wasn't allowed to be happy? "Doc?" Michaela blinked a few times and swallowed hard, feeling her mouth growing dry.
"Hmm?"
"Everything all right?"
"Yes. I was just…" Charlotte eyed her.
"You're thinkin' 'bout the life ya got growin' inside of ya." Michaela's eyes widened, and she passed the baby back to Charlotte.
"How did you…?"
"I'm a midwife, Doc. I know these things when I see 'em. Three months, I'm guessin'?"
"Two," Michaela replied coyly.
"And your husband don't know, does he?" Michaela blinked away the tears.
"No." She bit back a sob, and Charlotte reached for her hand.
"You've got a lot of goodness in ya. I see that. I see ya with my children, and I know that you've got what it takes to be a mother. Ya might not see it or feel it yet, but it's there. Ya got a good heart, and your husband and future children are real lucky to have ya." Michaela swallowed the lump in her throat and sighed softly. She felt at ease with this woman, and she felt grateful to have somebody to confide in.
"I only hope Sully wakes soon. He wants children so much…"
"He'll wake up," Charlotte replied. "If he's as strong as ya think he is, he will. Just give it time. Good things come to those who wait." Michaela smiled and nodded her head.
"I've heard that once or twice. Sully and I…we're really not the waiting type." She blushed. "We married five months after we met." Charlotte chuckled and shook her head.
"There's nothin' wrong with young love." Charlotte smiled sadly. "I remember what it's like." She sighed and winced in pain a little.
"Charlotte?" Charlotte held her hand up.
"Just a little sore, Doc."
"Would you like me to examine your incision?"
"Do ya need to?"
"It's good to check for infection every several hours. How long has it been sine your nurse checked you?"
"Yesterday evenin'," Charlotte replied. "She said she'd have the doc come take a look, but he never came. I think he left for Colorado Springs today, didn't he?" Michaela swallowed hard and nodded her head.
"I should examine you then." Charlotte placed the baby in the crook of her arm, and Michaela cut away the bandages. Charlotte winced in pain, and Michaela bit back a gasp. "Charlotte, I'm going to go find a doctor."
"You're a doctor. What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid the tissue has become infected. Charlotte, it needs to be cut away before the infection spreads." Charlotte closed her eyes.
"I knew it," she breathed.
"What?"
"I knew somethin' wasn't right."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Part of me thought it was all in my head. The other part thought that if this was the way it was supposed to be, I'd have to accept it anyhow." Charlotte sighed softly. "Do what ya gotta do, Doc."
I stopped the wagon outside of the new homestead, and I smiled, watching Michaela's eyes light up with excitement. In a matter of weeks, our home would be complete, and we could move in and start a new life in a new home.
"Oh, Sully!" she exclaimed. "It's beautiful. It's more beautiful that I had imagined, and it looks finished!"
"Almost is," I replied, locking the wagon wheels and helping her down. I took her hand and led her up the steps that led onto the porch. "Just a few things I gotta do inside 'fore we can move in." I pulled her into my arms, and her arms willingly moved around my neck. We pressed into one another as our lips met and caressed each other. She moaned into my mouth, and I pulled her closer. But, then it occurred to me, that I might be squeezing her too tight, and I pulled back.
"Sully," she whispered with disappointment coating her words.
"Just in case…"
"I'm not going to break," she assured me. "And, I don't think our child would want its father to stop holding its mother when she wants him to." My hand moved between us and caressed her belly. She smiled and put her hand over mine. "Do you truly believe it, Sully?"
"Truly," I whispered, leaning in to caress her lips with mine again. My hand fumbled with the key, and I unlocked the door. I swept my wife up into my arms and carried her across the threshold. She giggled against my lips, and when I put her down, she pulled away and looked around. Her eyes sparkled as she looked about the place. I stood in the doorway, watching her move from the living room to the kitchen to the mantle. She ran her hands along the stair rail, and she looked at me curiously.
"Is it safe to go upstairs?" I nodded.
"Go on." I followed her up the steps, and my hand rubbed her back as we ascended. She looked down the long hallway at the top of the stairs, and she looked back at me curiously as I kept one foot firmly planted on one step, and the other right above it. "Go on. There's a surprise waitin' at the end of the hall." She looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with intense curiosity. I pulled her toward me, my lips crushing down onto hers. She responded eagerly, and my hand moved to grip the railing so we wouldn't fall backward.
When we pulled apart, Michaela turned and moved to the first room. It was small but comfortable-looking, and the windows faced the sunset. We came to another room that was a little bigger with windows that faced the same direction as the last. We passed another room, and we finally came to the room at the end of the hall.
"Open the door," I whispered, nuzzling her neck. She bit her lip anxiously and opened the door. She gasped when she saw what awaited her.
"Oh, Sully," she breathed. "It's…it's beautiful." A hand-carved bed sat against one wall, the intricate designs of feathers engraved into the wood. The mantle across from the bed was made of stones, and my arms ached at the memory of setting each of those to fit together. "You must have spent weeks on this alone." She moved toward the bed, and her fingers traced along the lines of each carved feather.
"I'm glad ya like it," I replied, stepping up behind her. I smiled and moved to the other side of the bed. "There's somethin' else. I'm glad I made it when I did." I reached down beside the bed, and I hoisted a carved cradle into my arms. I placed it on the bed, and I watched as Michaela's eyes grew teary, and her lower lip trembled. She was beautiful when she was like this, and my heart swelled with joy. She moved around to my side of the bed, and she sat upon the mattress that I'd already fitted into it. That look in her eyes told me she wanted me and needed me, and I put the cradle away. I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and I brushed them away without a word.
"I never thought I could be so happy. You've made me so happy." She licked her lips and thanked me with a kiss at the corner of my mouth. She found my lips and captured them with her own. I responded eagerly, and I laid her down upon the bed. I looked down at her, and her fingers played with the hair that fell into my eyes. She brushed it back continuously, and she let out a soft sigh. My hand moved up her thigh and rested upon her belly, cupping her and cradling the life I knew we'd made together. Without a word, I kissed her again, igniting the flame of our passion once more.
We officially christened our bedroom for the first time, wrapped in each other's arms and bodies, kissing and caressing, loving and nurturing one another with all of the powers we possessed. In the aftermath, we lay together, a pile of exhausted but sated limbs. We held each other close, not wanting to let go. My hands massaged her arms and played with her golden hair. She was perfect to me, and our bodies were parts of each other's. It was an incredible feeling to be so in tune with one another. I could practically hear her heart beating. I could feel her moving in my arms, and I knew when she needed me again by the way her lips curled up, and she sighed, her eyes flashing with those embers of desire.
She sighed against my lips, whispering that she loved me, and I returned the favor by caressing those parts of her that sent her higher than ever before, and we spent the afternoon like that, holding one another, living in the moment and dreaming of the future.