VI

Cars and Cats

The escape had been a success. Although the Joker's little antics had been amusing, they could have hindered the plan. As much as we wanted to say something about it, there were definitely better, more important things on our minds.

First off we needed to ditch this car. We needed some weapons and some pitiful, expendable followers, but more importantly to kill the Bat. Speaking of the Batman, we had heard no news of him since we left the asylum. Surely he was busy with the business of destroying people's lives. That, after all, was what he was best at.

We took the exit for Division st. and slowed to a stop at the light. The Joker was laughing gleefully as she waved to passing cars. Turning left we started to make our way into downtown Gotham.

"Will you stop making a scene and start looking for a new mode of transportation?" we said irritably.

"Oh sure!" she squeaked. "Like that pretty car right. over. there." she announced proudly. She was pointing at a magnificent purple Mustang convertible. It was perfect, fast, sleek, and good looking.

"Yes, I think that one will do fine." and we grinned. The mustang was a lane over from us. We swerved, cut off a old bastard, and sped up til we were right next to the baby. Red light, come on we need a red light. Bingo, the next light turned red.

The Joker skipped out of the car and started talking to the driver of the mustang. It was a middle aged, balding man. He was probably having a mid-life crisis with a wife sitting at home wondering why he spent all his money on "that damn car", while he was out trying to pick up on young girls. Fucking piece of shit.

We stepped out of the car. The light was still red. We had another 10 seconds, 20 if we were lucky. The rear door opened and the Riddler stumbled out. He nearly tripped over his own feet. He was such an idiot.

We flipped the coin. Seeing the good side up we walked over to the Joker.

"Get in the car," we growled. "Good day isn't it sir?"

"Yes, great weather... we're... having..." the balding fool stammered nervously.

"Perfect for driving with the top down." we said as we opened his door. He grasped for the handle, a panic stricken look on his face. We reached down and unbuckled his seatbelt. He was now madly swinging his arms in the air. The Joker and Riddler had walked around to the other side of the Mustang were now climbing in.

"Thank you," we said as we removed him from the driver seat, "Enjoy the weather." We tossed him onto the ground between the cars and jumped into the mustang. The light turned green as if on cue and we sped off.

—x—

The sun was almost set now. We had spent the day cruising around Gotham. Two Face had been plotting the day away. I had stayed well out of it. Several times the Riddler had made unwise remarks and the coin had been flipped. How I wished, and still do for that matter, that she'd just allow herself to kill him, but the coin always came back down and she kept driving. We needed to get some new clothes. These hospital uniforms(?), for lack of a better word, lacked taste and style and I just can't imagine meeting with Batsy in this.

We were on a road named Sprague, if my mind had been on where we were headed I might have realized that I didn't know there was such a road in Gotham, my mind was wondering to Batsy and all of our history together when I saw her. Why she was standing on the corner of a half busy road smiling so, I will never know. The black vinyl clung to her slim form. I seem to remember her suit covering more, but no matter. It is her, Catwoman, Batman's lover and enemy.

"Stop the car!" I shrieked with glee. Twofer slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to a halt in front of the feline.

"Hey baby," she said in a sly voice. She bit her lower lip nonchalantly and took a step towards the car.

All I could do is stare at the woman. She seemed to either not recognize me, or maybe she was just mocking me. She was obviously mocking me, and noone mocks me. Well, except for Bats but that is different! I opened the door as she got closer. She smiled an odd smile and, if I hadn't known better, I'd have thought she was coming onto me.

I grinned at her and she hesitated. Not only did she hesitate, the bitch turned to run. I giggled as my hand locked onto her hair. She screamed, I laughed. I flung the cat bitch into the car and off we went again.

—x—

"Please, please, please..." the woman sobbed from her place beside the Riddler.

"Where is he? I know you know." I stated as I grinned at her.

"I don't know what you are talking about!" she wailed, her tears where not becoming of her. How I wished to make her smile, make her laugh. That was another thing this outfit was missing, laughing gas. Not to mention my hand buzzer, squirting flower, and all the other toys that were used to make people smile.

"Who are you and what do you want for me?" she sputtered.

"Have you really forgotten us, Catwoman?" the Riddler said suddenly.

"Are you really that stupid, Riddler? Who could forget the Joker?" I smiled very very wide and laughed. The kind of laugh that made the Riddler squirm in his seat

"No, who are you really? Batman is a movie, it's not real! There are no such people as the Joker and Riddler!" she shouted to be heard over my laughter.

I stopped laughing, and leaned over the seat towards her. "Are you saying, my dear, looking right into my eyes, that I, in fact, do not exist?" I whispered mere inches from her frightened face.

"I don't know!" she wailed.

"But I do exist, touch me if you dare, I am made of flesh. I smile and laugh, like a live being should."

"I'll take you the only place I know to go," she said bravely.

"Now that's a good girl. Maybe we won't have to kill you...yet." I giggled.

"Turn around, you're going the wrong way."

Luckily the road was nearly empty, cause Two Face pulled a marvelous u-turn in the middle of the six lane road. I toppled back over the seat and face planted right into Catwoman's half exposed breasts. She screamed and so did I, although mine came out more as a laugh and was muffled in her large chest. I pulled my self upright, nearly sitting on her lap.

"Why hello dear!" I giggled gleefully. She just blushed and stared into my eyes boldly. She definitely had Catwoman's spirit.

With a wide grin I climbed back into the front seat and with the help of catwoman made it to a rather large junky house near downtown.