When Dreams Come True
NOTE: I got a question asking about how Soujiro's town was a good train ride away. Um, I actually think that's Tokyo y'all are talking about. I just completely made up where Sou lived. I just assumed it was somewhere near Kyoto since Soujiro and Shishio might've walked there from Sou's hometown. Oh, and while you're reading, please take notice that the intro poem changes yet again at this point. Can he sense the depression? And no, I'm not a depressed punk or a goth or whatever. It's just that this is the point in the story, which Sou has a lot of crap go through his mind.
And I'll probably get a lot of crap for Misao not being the one to heal Soujiro or whatever. But for once of all the other long Sou/Mis fics out there, I wanted Sou to heal himself for once. And like Okon said in the past, she'll watch from the sideline. But keep in mind, just because Sou's gonna be the one who heals himself doesn't mean he can't get a few pointers here and there from our one and only Misao. I hope I didn't give away too much. Can you catch where this story is going? Even I don't know if there'll be a happy ending…
…The days seem too long,
And the world seems so cruel,
Life begins to feel so wrong,
With no reason to fuel.
Chapter thirteen – Discovering the Dilemma
Misao and Soujiro walked towards the sun. It was cool out, the sun had yet to rise. They didn't actually know why they got up so early, but maybe it was that the stars were so pretty out.
"Misao, aren't the stars pretty?"
Misao smiled and started to jump up and down, "Yeah, yeah! And it's the perfect temperature too! Good thing we left early, huh?"
"Yup."
Misao set her hand on his shoulder and pointed up to the brightest star and said, "I heard that with that star, travelers find their way home!"
He nodded and replied, " I've heard those stories too."
Misao looked up, "So that means I can find my way home just by looking at that star?"
Soujiro flinched by Misao's naïve remark, "Well, I don't think it works quite like that."
Misao slumped, "Whatever, I didn't think a star could lead me back home anyways!" She crossed her arms and began walking again. Sou felt a little bad for ruining Misao's fun, but it was the way things worked, right?
Right.
"But I guess it just depends on where you are!"
But maybe sometimes there could be exceptions, "What?" Misao asked.
"What I mean is," he began, "I guess if you're heading in a north direction and you're home is north, you could find your home if you kept going straight. That's what I meant."
Misao looked up with a blank face, but soon enough a smile began to appear on her face, "Hey yeah! You're right!"
Misao started going off on how maybe going east would screw things up, but Soujiro wasn't listening.
At the moment, Soujiro was beginning to feel like things were beginning to look up. Things were beginning to feel as if they made more sense, things were starting to feel right. Soujiro's point of view was also making more sense. Maybe Misao really was some sort of savior…no. Miaso was more like an angel. The most wonderful angel that ever existed. His angel.
He made up his mind, things were going to get better no matter what.
He felt on top of the world for some strange reason too. Maybe it was because he had finally found another part of himself. And as everyone knows, when the person who's lost something has found it or a part of it, there is no better feeling in the world, 'This must be what people call a turning point,' Soujiro thought.
He was feeling good. He was feeling really good. He wasn't all the way there yet, but he was getting somewhere, and that was something. If only he could take the next step, he would be complete.
But what was the next step anyways?
He knew that was all he needed was that final leap. But whatever the case, nothing could bring him down. He was with Misao, the weather was pleasant, the birds were singing, and he was with Misao…wait, huh?
Sadly, sometimes hearts get tested along the way. Hearts break, souls lose their way, and people lose their minds. It's a pain that eats away at you. It never really leaves you either. Kind of like the Grim Reaper who glances over your shoulder once death is approaching you. Call it breaking down or a storm, whatever you like. You just have to make sure you don't lose your way. There will be obstacles and bumpy roads in every direction. All you know is, once the storm has hit you, you can only wait for the wind to blow it away.
Don't lose your way Sou…"I guess we're here…"
Soujiro looked up. They were at a town, which was kind of looking run down. It looked like an ordinary town, but he was having déjà vu. Every house and tree was exactly how he had imagined it.
But why…?
"Let's go see if there's an inn or something like that 'cause it's getting late."
Soujiro looking west to where the sun was setting, "Yes, let's."
As they entered the town, Soujiro began to look every which way. Things seemed so familiar. But something at the bottom of his stomach was telling him to stay as far away possible from that town. But the idea was soon overrun by Misao speaking again.
"Wow, there are some big old houses here."
He nodded, but his eyes began to slowly widen.
Then it hit him.
There he was, standing in front of the house he had once lived in so many, many years ago…
"Sou?"
He could move. It was as if his heart skipped a beat. Everything was telling him to get the hell out of there, but for some reason, his super speedy legs wouldn't budge an inch. That was the first time in a long time he was afraid…truly afraid.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
His head turned slightly as he asked, "Misao, do you think we can stop in the next town over?"
She set her hands on her hips, "Now the lady we talked to in the last town said that the next town closest to that one was this one. The next town over is another few miles down the road."
His head snapped around, "I'll use my Shukuchi."
Misao knitted her eyebrows, "Sou, what's wrong? So seem so anxious to leave! What, are you afraid of this town or something?"
He couldn't lie.
But he had to.
"No."
"Ok then, lets go!"
Misao start walking down the road as the light began to slowly diminish because of the sun, which was now almost completely set. Sou turned to the building one last time and bowed. After all, it was his fault his 'family' had died.
'No it isn't! That crackpot of a man corrupted you!'But Soujiro didn't hear the voice. Something had blocked it. Something subconscious. Something he hadn't done for a good few months or so.
He smiled.
But, this wasn't one of his most recent happy smiles. Being in this town had reminded him of the horrible things which he had committed even as a child.
This smile was an imposter.
After about half an hour of looking, Misao and Soujiro finally found a hotel which they could spend the night. By the time the two were headed towards the room, Misao could tell that her companion was troubled. Just by looking at him could she tell that something was up. But unfortunately, she had a feeling that it had to do with something that she had no control over. It was Soujiro's fight.
She only wished she could help.
When Misao was already tucked in bed and everything, she watched Soujiro lay in bed with his eyes closed, but with a smile plastered across his face. It was strange because for the past month, at night while he was asleep, he kept a straight face.
His smile was scaring her now.
But that's what it was supposed to do.
That's what it was meant to do.
She looked sadly upon her friend as she closed her eyes. At the moment, she wanted nothing more than to heal Soujiro. Or at least help. But even now, she was beginning to wonder what made him the way he is today?
What made him the smiling Tenken?
Heavenly Sword…it seemed like an oxymoron.
With that, she fell asleep.
As and soon as Soujiro noticed she was off to dream world, he sat up in bed and slowly crept out of the room. He slid the door gently behind him and turned around to see an old lady shutting the door parallel to his, "Excuse me," he began, "do you know where the graveyards is?"
She could hear mumbling from outside the room. She was good at faking being asleep. When she finally heard footsteps walking away from the room, she sat up and hopped out of the door too.
Even if she couldn't help, she could watch, right?
She exited the building only to find Soujiro slowly trudging along the road. But for the strangest reason, seeing him alone like that, walking under the lonely moon. He made a sharp right so Misao jogged off behind him.
After a few minutes of following the young man, Misao realized he was heading towards the graveyard. Misao headed up the hill as soon as Soujiro was all the way up. She hid behind one of the gravestones as Soujiro searched all of the headings. She wondered why he hadn't noticed her yet because of his amazing senses.
She watched him search for a certain gravestone. His smile remained on his face and his eyes seemed darker than usual. He finally walked up to a tall monument, which stood high above the others. Misao watched him stroke the stone as he mumbled something to himself. She wondered why he was paying so much attention to that certain piece…
He took a step back and bowed.
He looked so sad.
"Sou," she whispered to her unknowing. His head snapped around to see Misao's fingers laying on gravestone a few yards back. He was astonished he didn't hear her earlier.
"Misao, you can come out now."
She poked her head out from behind the stone, "Are you talking to me?"
She tried to joke, but Soujiro didn't laugh. He just kept on smiling…smiling, "Sou, are you ok? I mean, you don't seem too…alright."
He didn't stop smiling the whole time, "Nothing's wrong Misao. You should go back to the hotel now."
She set her hands on her hips, "Why? I can stay here if I want to!"
His smile twitched just slightly, "Misao, I really think you should go back to the hotel."
"Why?"
"Because you might catch a cold."
"That's a horrible reason."
"Misao…"
"If I go, you have to come back with me, ok?"
"Misao."
"And besides, it's kind of scary here, why are you here anyways?"
"Misao…!"
She walked up to the monument, and brushed off the dust and saw the names. Before she was about to read them out loud, she felt a firm hand on her shoulder, "Misao. I would really prefer if you would return to the hotel without me, now."
Misao turned around to find herself staring right into the depths of his eyes. They seemed so stormy. They seemed so…
"A-alright…"
…distant.
She walked off slowly turning around every once in while. She had seen something she wished she hadn't seen. She had seen something Soujiro wished he could never let out again. She saw the Tenken. The REAL Tenken. Not just the name that others would call him. She saw that Kenshin had saw those months ago. She had seen what Shishio had created. His evil creation…a monster.
When Misao was outside of the gate, she walked a little more ahead until she reached a big tree. There, she slumped down and stared at the ground.
Why were his eyes so cold? Every time she thought of them, she shivered.
What happened to Sou? The young man with the pet fish? The young man who made her smile whenever he did? Maybe she had gotten herself into something more than she could swallow.
She didn't know why, but there was just something that was so sadistic about his eyes. It frightened her, but she felt more sad than she did afraid.
What was it about this town that made him so different?
She slowly sat up, and then headed towards the hotel.
But back in the graveyard, Soujiro stood in front of the monument of his foster parent's grave. For some reason, he forgot about how bad he had felt about killing them earlier. There was something very satisfying about standing in front of the grave of the people who had hurt him so much, the people who molded the person who he was today.
After a few more minutes of standing there, he began to walk back to the hotel. He felt something behind him one last time and turned around. He felt a presence, but no one was there. But just in case there were any ghosts around…, "I have no regrets for what I have done. Leave me be and burn in the place where you belong."
Then that was it.
Soujiro smiled all the way back to the hotel. Nothing passed through his mind though.
But when he arrived back to the hotel, he could feel something was amiss. As he climbed the stairs up to the room, which he and Misao stayed in. As he entered the room, he saw Misao fiddling with a flower she held in her hand while sitting on the mattress where she was to sleep..
She looked up then looked down with sad eyes, "Sou, I think we should head back home. Or I should at least. I don't think I can help you."
She didn't mean to say that.
Soujiro was about to reply until he fully realized what she had said, "Wait, what do you mean, you don't think you can help me?"
She shifted her eyes, "Nothing…I didn't mean anything."
Soujiro scratched his head, "Misao, please tell me what you meant."
She shook her head and looked up, "Soujiro, I said I didn't say anything!" She then pulled up her legs to her chest as she buried her face in them. Soujiro looked down at her with sad eyes. It was probably his fault even though he didn't really know why she was acting this way.
He walked over and crouched down, "Misao, what's wrong?"
She looked up reluctantly. But something was different. His eyes were what she had first seen when she had first met him, "Sou…"
They stared into each other's eyes a little more until Misao broke the stare by picking up Soujiro and placing it on her cheek, "Sou, why are you acting this way? Why were you…?"
He only could stare. For the whole two and a half months he had known her, he had never seen her so afraid…of him.
"Nothing."
She released his hand, "Are you sure?"
He nodded.
But he couldn't help but feel strange. He thought he was healing himself while spending time with Misao. But in truth, he was just hurting the people around him. He assumed maybe he couldn't be healed. Maybe he didn't need a savior because he couldn't be saved. Maybe he could never love someone because they would never love him back.
"Maybe you should get some sleep?" Misao hinted while he nodded. He stepped over to his bed while Misao continued to watch him.
She knew something was up, but she just didn't know yet. But who knows, maybe he would tell her sometime soon?
She couldn't wait for the day.
Then she tucked herself in and went to sleep. But Soujiro to the side of her was far from sleeping. He couldn't stop thinking about how he had frightened Misao so much.
He thought he had promised to himself to never frighten someone like that ever again. But apparently, he can't keep his word even to himself.
But maybe, he really did need to forgive himself before he could ask for Misao's help.
Maybe he needed to forgive himself to let in a little love.
When Soujiro finally fell asleep, he could only picture the faces of his dead foster parents laying on the ground before him. He could only imagine the sickening feeling he felt that, for some reason, pleased him. Was he really evil? Misao said he wasn't and so did Okon, but sometimes he felt like the Devil itself.
He also thought a little while about how he could forgive himself. It didn't sound easy, yet it seemed so simple.
Soujiro turned on his side and leaned on his shoulder while gazing at Misao, "Misao," he whispered. She didn't respond, but he didn't expect her to so he went on.
"Thank you."
With that, he flopped over and fell asleep.
And his heart felt that much lighter too.
Even his dreams felt better. Once again, he had the same old sun and moon dream. But this time, he was the sun. Shining brightly upon all that was below him, warming the hearts of many. Feeling proud and happy, he even stuck around even when the moon had come up in the hearts of people of everyone who had enjoyed him earlier.
And that was the best feeling in the world.
'So I guess you're feeling better now?'It was that darned voice again. Soujiro could admit that he was feeling better, but for some reason he couldn't speak in his own mind.
'Ok, don't talk. Anyways, so you're healing, right? …Ok…good. Um, just keep in mind that you aren't done yet. I can't tell you how to do so, but all you need to do is forgive yourself a little m…hey! HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!'
Sadly he wasn't.
He was busy dreaming of what life would be like if he hadn't met Mr. Shishio, if he hadn't been given to his foster parents.
He couldn't wish, he couldn't even hope for his childhood, which he had lost. Only in his dreams did he see a picture perfect family. One with a loving mother and father who taught him everything he needed to know.
Too bad.
But it wasn't really 'too bad,' it was more of a goal he had all of a sudden set for himself.
He always admired his mother even though he never knew her. But he always hoped she hadn't given up on him. He wished she would've tried a little more. But that was being selfish. So all he could do was make sure he did better for his family, if even he was to have one.
And that's really all…
It was just…sometimes he felt so empty…
'There was always something I wanted, something I missed.'
And that phrase rang through his head for the rest of the night.
What did he miss? What did he need to forgive himself for? So many things he needed answered, and little did he know, all the answered laid right next to him dreaming of him…
The next morning, the two had already gotten up and started walking. But this time they weren't walking to any random town, they actually had a destination. And that destination was Kyoto. You see, Soujiro had decided Misao should go back to Kyoto, and he would escort her there. Truth is, he didn't really want her to go, but he thought it was best for her own sake. Also, he thought she wanted to go home.
But in Misao's head, she was wondering why Soujiro was bring her back home. She didn't want to go back home. She wanted to help Soujiro! She thought it had something to do with the way he looked the day before.
The whole trip was basically silent, even though the whole trip lasted a few hours.
During the whole time, Misao stole glances at Soujiro who was always staring on the ground. It was only at the border of Kyoto did she ask, "Sou, why are you like this?"
She stopped walking and Soujiro turned around, "What?"
"I asked," she pouted, "Why are you like this?"
She could tell by his confused look that Soujiro didn't know what on earth she was talking about. She set her hands on her hips, "I mean, you've never told me why you smile all the time, you always tell me nothing's wrong, and what's up with your new look yesterday?"
His eyes looked a little disturbed, "What do you mean, 'new look?'"
She rolled her eyes, "You know, the eye thing?"
Soujiro chuckled nervously, "Oh…that."
"So!"
"So what?"
"So what was with them?"
"Misao I'd rather not talk about it."
"Come on Sou!"
"Mi…!" He sighed, "Never mind. Just, can we forget about the 'eye' thing?"
Misao's face grew angry, "No! No we can't! No I can't! You know why! Because I've been worrying about you since the day I met you and you won't tell me what the hell's wrong! You probably haven't told anybody. Oh wait, scratch that, you probably told Shishio, and that's about it! Right? Right!"
Soujiro was caught. She was 100 percent right. And most of all, she cared about him.
And that's really all he heard.
"You…you cared about me?"
"Of course I did! Soujiro, you're my best friend! You're the best friend I've ever had! You understand me more than anyone has ever had before! You don't think I notice it! I'm not that stupid!"
She folded her arms and hung her head down low. She felt so embarrassed. And her red cheeks even grew a darker shade as she felt a hand on her cheek.
She looked up and saw her Sou.
Not Tenken.
Not Soujiro.
She only saw her Sou.
Smiling.
And for some strange reason, she didn't seem to care that Sou had been hiding secrets from her. And it was his same old innocent smile that she'd been missing for a whole, entire day.
"Sou…"
He tilted his head and closed his eyes, "Now Misao, how about I walk you back to the Aoiya?"
She couldn't speak…
She could just nod…nod…nod.
They walked hand in hand back to the Aoiya. When they finally arrived, Omasu was outside watering a plant, "Oh! Sou-chan! Misao-chan! Wha…what are you doing here? I thought you were on a journey!"
They shook their heads, "I guess I wasn't ready," Misao commented as she and Soujiro stepped inside the building.
But before Soujiro could step inside, Omasu held out her arm, "Um Sou, may I ask you a question?" He nodded and she continued, "I noticed you and Misao were holding hands, did anything happen on the trip?"
Soujiro scratched his head, "We were holding hands?"
Omasu stared blank-faced for a moment and then giggled, she should've known better, "Never mind."
Soujiro nodded and entered the building as well only to be blasted by a loud noise, "HOLY-!"
He almost fell, he was so frightened. Apparently Misao had spooked Shiro, "GODDAMNIT MISAO, GET BACK HERE!"
Misao sprinted out of the kitchen and hid behind Soujiro, "Hide me! Hide me!"
Shiro ran out of the room drenched in soup as he threatened Misao with a large fish, "DO THAT AGAIN AND ILL KNOCK YOU SENSELESS!"
He stormed back into the kitchen as Misao laughed hysterically, "You shoulda seen his face! It was hilarious!"
Soujiro giggled as well, "That's nice, I guess."
Misao smiled and yanked on Soujiro's arm, "Come on, let's go upstairs!"
She pulled him up by the hand and ran into her room. As soon as they were inside, she threw him to the middle of the room and slid the door shut behind her, "Now I gotcha where I wantcha."
Soujiro began to freak out, "Huh?"
Misao crept over to him, "You heard what I said," she answered slowly with a low voice.
When she was right in front of him, she held the sides of his face with both of her hands and leaned her face in close to his ear.
And the quick minded Soujiro couldn't move.
He could only blush.
But, he didn't expect what happened next.
"NOW TELL ME WHAT'S UP!"
She screeched into his ear.
Next thing Misao knew, Soujiro was lying on the ground swirly eyed because of the shock. Misaim poked him a few times before he began to regain consciousness, "Huh?"
"You heard what I said, now spill deaf-man."
Soujiro lowered his head, he couldn't put it off any longer…
"Well, I was born nineteen years ago in an unknown city…"
End.
I just want to say that I've come to realize that my story is not as 'fluffy' as others. Such as Alone in a Crowd, or When the Rain Stops. But I believe there is much more to Soujiro's story than just fluffiness and Romance with a certain Misao. To me, there is a dark, light, happy, and sad to Soujiro, plus many, many more. Too bad I just don't have enough experience as a writer to explain his complete side. Maybe in later years.
Also, I don't want my story to be all depressed since this is about how he heals so there will probably only be one more chapter with the sadder poem at the beginning.
And hopefully, my chapters after this one will just be as long, but if they are, it will take me longer to update…and that's basically it. And remember to rate and review because seriously guys, you're messages keep me going. Tell me what I'm doing wrong! Critique me! Tell me what you guys want!
I'm begging you!
NauLAUG!