"What is this place?" Heero questioned, looking around with wary eyes as he looked at the apartment complex gated off by the busy city around it.
Heero couldn't help but flinch every time a person's body brushed against him, making him feel sick. He was expecting a punch or a slap, or something to punish him. Every time that he had been touched recently meant pain and nothing seemed to change anywhere he went.
Sakura looked at Heero and smiled, "This is my mother's place. We're going to stay here for a couple days, a week maybe."
All she recieved back was silence.
She did, however,noticed the way the boy tensed at her words. She couldn't stop herself from sighing inwardly, she hoped that her mother would be able to help with the whole antisocial and people problem he was going through before he withdrew into himself again.
"Hn."
She laughed and he didn't even look up to see what she was laughing about.
He snorted, figuring that she realized that he was just a loss cause. Quatre was wasting his money on him, something he felt guilty about. It was all his fault, closing he eyes he could feel a icy pit in his stomach, making him sick again. He clenched his fists, grabbing his stomach and trying to stop the swaying he was feeling—everything was his fault.
"Heero?" Sakura questioned, turning back with a questioned look at the youth who stopped. She gasped, rushing back to him, high heels clicking on the cement. It seemed to be the only sound in the worldother than Heero's heavy breathing and the distant sound of cars.
"Are you okay?" She touched his shoulder, feeling his muscle tense, but she didn't withdraw her hand. She looked at him and saw he was clutching his stomach, something that he had been doing ever since he entered her care.
She looked towards the building, seeing the door of her mother's apartment already, first floor. Taking a deep breath, 'That makes it easier.' She noted and then turned back to Heero.
"Heero, we're close to the building, do you think you can make it?" She questioned, looking with worry at her charge. She saw him give her a small nod and she grabbed his arm, guiding him quickly over to the room quickly.
His face paled.
A man chuckled, looking at him with beady black eyes hidden by spectacles. He gripped Heero's arm tightly, laughing when Heero tried to pull out of his grasp.
"Now, now." The man growled, tightening his grip of Heero's arm to make the former soldier's muscle tense, bringing more pain. He tried to relax the muscle, but his whole body was tense, sprung like a rubber band ready to be shot at someone.
He grinned, colder this time and Heero could feel the man's eyes trail over his body, the marks that he made on him acting like anchors, holding him down.
Why wouldn't Quatre listen when he said he wanted to go home?
Somehow, he felt betrayed that they wouldn't listen to him. The doctor kept telling them things… "I guess it's time for your check up."
Heero could feel the bile climbing his throat, praying that Sakura's mother would hear the pounding on the door before he ended up throwing up on her doorstep, something she wouldn't be pleased with at all.
The door opened and Sakura spouted apologies to her mother while dragging Heero in as fast as she could towards the bathroom. She kicked open the door and let Heero go inside, closing it behind him.
"What was that all about, dear?" Sakura looked up, blinking back the tears that were coming to her eyes. She could hear the retching noises, knowing Heero was already heaving over the toilet, throwing up what little she had managed to get down him without him throwing it up.
Taking a deep breath, she started, "I don't know… he's having trouble holding food down and he's loosing a lot of weight, but I'm not a doctor, just a mind one." She put a hand to her forehead, "He can't stand a sickness right now, he's just too weak." She said.
Heero rested his head on his arms, his back pressed against the wall facing the toilet. He wiped at the sweat on his cool skin and shivered at the feeling, memories of not-so-pleasant times choosing now to start assaulting him.
As he calmed down, he heard Sakura's last sentence drift to his ears and felt sick again, "He's too weak." His mind froze, as well as his body.
She was right—he was weak, insignificant to the world. He was a useless soldier not needed for anything but battle, and now that the battle was over…what was he to do? Simply wait for another battle, or to alleviate the world of his uselessness and threat to the peace everyone worked hard for.
His shoulder's sagged as he realized what a burden he was to everyone around him, just a sore spot out of everyone else. 'I'm sure that everyone would be better off without me.'
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Innocence Taken
By: Lost-Remembrance (Red Tail)
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Accusations, Part I
"Heero?" Sakura questioned, looking with kind eyes at the brunette who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at the white wall with nothing on it. His eyes were distant and dark, almost sad as he blinked slowly. Coming out of his trance-like state, Heero didn't bother wasting energy to look over at his current caretaker.
Did they think he needed baby sitting because he was different? Because he was worthless?
The woman shifted, looking at Heero, waiting for his reply or for him to at least acknowledge her presence. He did neither.
"Are you feeling better."
He shook his head, not telling her that the dinner he had tried to eat wasn't actually in his stomach. He tensed when he remembered the feeling of… she shivered.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." He snapped, wanting her and everyone else in the world to just leave him alone. Was that too much to ask for? Just having himself in the darkness that had always been there for him. Unlike people, the darkness never went away and never expected things from him.
He didn't want the world to worry about him ever again. There was an icy feeling coming over his body, numbing him as he forced away thoughts of how he once felt warm around his friends, his comrades.
But not anymore.
As if there was a string, hanging perilously in a violent storm, the thread snapped. Heero cut himself from everything. He didn't care. They didn't need him—even to save the world. There were the other four pilots, and Relena could fend for herself.
They didn't need him.
"…Heero?" Sakura knelt down besides her charge and gently touched his shoulder. He jerked away from her touch. Heero's eyes didn't meet hers, but his words did.
"Leave me alone." All thought process stopped upon his words, causing her to freeze and then blink as if she was thinking through tar.
"Heero," she fiercely said, "I'm not—"
"Just. Leave." His words were icy, holding no room for argument. She couldn't help but wonder what turned this child into an adult so soon. She had never seem a smile, even an eye-smile on his face. Never.
"You should get some rest." She whispered lightly, getting up from her spot next to him and walking over to the door, walking out and closing it to give him privacy.
"Damnit." Heero punched the wood of the floor, his fist connecting sharply. Tears that wanted to fall didn't, clinging to his eyes.
"Follow your emotions."
"Heero," Sakura whispered, leaning against the closed door as she listened to him. "I just want to help."
"Damnit." He punched the floor again, louder this time, "Damnit!" He screamed, "Why the hell did you have to leave me here!" Ever since Odin had died, his life had been taken from him, held in someone else's hands to do what they pleased.
He was just their toy, an old and useless toy that now had no meaning in this world of peace.
"Who?" Sakura whispered, knowing that there was more to Heero than the abuse that led him here, to his state. Frowning she added, "Who left you Heero?"
Silence met her, offering nothing in return. She left, walking down the hall to the vid phone, deciding it would be best to have a little meeting with Mr. Winner to discuss what he and his friends knew of Heero and his past.
Heero was blessed by sleep, empty of dreams and just a black void that offered him solace.
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"Heero," Heero remembered Sakura telling him, "I need to have a meeting with one of my other clients. It'll probably last all afternoon, so if you want Mother can take you out to the city to walk around."
"Hn." Was his response.
So, here he was, walking through the streets with Sakura's mother well, mothering him, as they past by shops. Some they went in, buying some items and trinkets here and there, then going on through their visit.
Obviously, the city was more of the shady side so Sakura's mother stuck close to Heero, glaring at any of the "drunken bastards" as she called them that eyed him.
"Ah!" Sakura's mother stopped at the door of a bar.
"What is it?" Heero found himself questioning, wondering what an old lady like her would want from a bar. It wasn't as if he was legal to drink…
"Karaoke!" Then, with her happy shout, she dragged Heero with her to bar, happily humming ever once in a while.
After picking a song and hopping up on stage, much to the crowd of drunken people's enjoyment, Heero was left alone in the crowd.
The stench of alcohol next to him, too close to him, made him shiver as he felt someone touch him. His body froze.
"Hey there, beautiful."
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"I need know everything that you know about Heero and his past." Sakura explained, looking at each of the pilots, minus Heero, and had her pen poised over her notepad in the normal fashion.
"Why?" One of the pilots, Duo, her mind supplied, questioned with a suspicious look at her. It seemed that all of them had grown up before their time, acting more of an adult than she despite their age.
"I have a feeling that the abuse that Heero's endured isn't only affecting his condition." Sakura said professionally.
"What makes you think that?" The one that reminded her of Heero in his silent manor, Trowa, questioned. His eyes were just as piercing as the other boy's also, though not as intense a shade of color.
Sighing, she ran the hand not holding her notepad through her hair with exasperation, "I heard him say something." Duo snorted, not believing her. Quatre gave him a pointed, reprimanding look. "Call it a hunch?" She tried.
"What do you need to know?"
"Well, Mr. Maxwell, can you tell me how Heero acted before all of this happened?"
"What's there to know? He was antisocial, a daredevil, emotionless, a perfect soldier, suicidal—"
"Excuse me," Sakura interrupted, leaning forward, "Did you say that he was suicidal before all this?"
Duo nodded, "Yeah. If some of the things that he's done isn't suicidal, then I don't know what is."
She couldn't stop herself from frowning. "And you didn't do anything to get him help—counseling perhaps?" She couldn't help herself by adding that question.
Duo seemed to explode with her words of accusations. "Well, ya know we were kinda in the middle of a goddamned war, lady!" He jumped from his chair, eyes flaring, burning a hole into her.
"Duo!" Quatre shouted, jumping from his chair also, but stopping in mid-step when Wufei stood up calmly to intercept Duo from making any problems with the lady.
"Calm down, Maxwell."
Duo threw a punch at Wufei, getting it caught in his hand easily. He obviously wasn't trying to hurt his friend, simply venting his anger and frustration.
"We're all worried about Yuy." Duo lowered his head, as if ashamed. His bangs hid his eyes from everyone.
"I'm sorry if I was making an accusations. I forgot what all of you have been through." She apologized, eager to get back to the point of her meeting with the pilots.
"It's okay," Quatre replied, speaking for all of them, "Where were we?"
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When Sakura's mother stepped off the stage with a smile, she looked at the spot where Heero was supposed to be and stared. The key word was supposed to be.
"Heero?" She questioned over the music of the next singers, wondering just where the boy had gone.
Frowning, she bit her lip and couldn't believe that she had lost him. What would Sakura say? She grabbed her purse, pulling out her cell phone ro dial her daughter's number.
She wandered towards the exit, which led out into an alley and walked out. Keeping her eyes straight forward, her feet got tangled up in something and she fell, catching herself before she hit the dirty ground.
When she saw what he had tripped over, she dropped her cell phone as Sakura's worried voice came over the phone.
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Back in the nearby meeting place, Sakura picked up her happily chirruping phone playing a middi of 'Just Communication' and looked at the display screen to see her mother's name. 'Odd.' She thought, wondering why her mother would call unless she got locked out of her apartment.
However, she had a foreboding feeling as she flipped open the phone. Hearing nothing on the other end, she questioned, "Hello?" Thinking possibly it was a misdial or wrong number.
No response.
Sakura bit her lower lip, wondering why she had been called and what was going on. She was worried that Heero may have been injured or hurt…
"Mom?" The other pilots looked at her, noting the worried look on her face. She frowned, calling her mother's name again before she heard a loud noise, making her jerk her ear away in pain.
"Someone call 991! Help!" The pilots heard over the phone, each of their body's stiffening upon the woman's last words, "Hang on, Heero!"
Then, there was nothing but static.
TBC
Author's note: I understand that it's short—I'm gonna work on that. XD What did you think of the chapter? I'm not going into much detail on all the rape scenes and stuff 'cause it's already pretty dark and all…
So go out and play in the sun after reading this!
3 Red Tail