That Yesterday Rain - Chapter 5 - Thy Kingdom Come
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In the month after the fateful car accident that stole Lucas's care of what happened to himself and held Peyton's life in it's black, deathly hands, things had only gotten worse.
Karen had returned, as promised, the day after Lucas called her. But Lucas had pushed her away, as he had with everybody else that tried to convince him that he was not the cause of Peyton's current state. Feeling that she could do no more for her only son's tortured soul, she flew back to New Zealand to be with Andy just a week after she came home, but not until Brooke promised to call her every day and tell her how Lucas and Peyton were coming along.
Lucas had become more and more distant, spliting his time between attempting to train his shoulder back to full health by playing the only game he'd ever really loved at the Rivercourt, jogging around the town, and partying hard enough to forget who he was and what he had done. He had only been to visit Peyton once a few days after he was released from the hospital, but could not bear to go back and see her in that bed, looking worse and worse with each passing day.
Nathan had been to visit Peyton as often as he felt he should go, but spent most of his time with Haley, trying to repair the failure that was their marriage. Haley had been to visit Peyton almost every day, bringing fresh flowers and new things to arrange around her small hospital room, making it as homely as she could for her.
Brooke was forced to split her time between Peyton and Lucas. However deeply upset she was that she no longer had her best friend to confide in and not be able to get any advice, she had no choice but to follow around the hollow shell that Lucas now was, making sure he ate properly and was looking after himself. She had to endure telling lie after lie to Karen to keep her at bay in New Zealand without the worry of her only son.
But it was the day marking one full month after the accident that would be the most dreadful for them all.
Brooke sat at the kitchen table of the Scott-Roe residence, hunched over a bowl of cereal and pouring over the lastest issue of In Style magazine, folding over the pages that pleased her fasion sense the most.
Lucas lay in a restless, horrible, dreamful sleep in his bed. Twisting and turning in his sheets, drenched in a cold sweat as the two cars collided once again and he shot straight up in bed, the shrill ringing of the telephone saving him from yet another replay of the day that seemed to ruin his life daily.
Brooke unwillingly got out of her chair and crossed the room to answer the phone. "Hello?"
"Brooke, it's Mr. Sawyer..." his voice wavered slightly with an emotion Brooke couldn't detect, but could clearly define as 'not good'.
"Hey, Mr. Sawyer. Are you ok?" Brooke asked the question not because of the tone of his voice, but because of the fact that they had rarely spoken to each other ever since he had given the group the remorseful news that Peyton was in a coma.
"Um, I've got some..bad news," he started hesitantly, his voice gaining little confidence as he carried on. "It's..it's Peyton. The doctors say she's taken a turn for the worst and there's not much hope left of her getting any better. They gave her one day," he spat out quickly, as if never wanting to speak those words again, Brooke couldn't blame him.
Brooke nearly dropped the phone and her knees shook alarmingly. Peyton, her best friend since as long as she could remember, had a day left to live.
"Um...thanks, Mr. Sawyer. I'll -- I'll tell everybody else, we'll be there as soon as we can." She didn't wait for a response, but quickly slammed the phone down in it's cradle and sank back into a chair.
What was she supposed to tell everybody else? 'Hey guys, Peyton, one of our best friends, has got a day -- maybe less -- to live, let's go say goodbye'? How could she have said she would tell everybody else when the news refused to settle in her own mind? She had already convinced herself weeks ago that Peyton would not die, that she was going to recover, Lucas would snap out of his mood, and life would go on as it always had in their twisted little town.
She shakily stood up, her knees threatening to collapse underneath her, and dragged herself to Lucas's bedroom door. She attempted a knock, but merely got her hand to slap the door and slide down it's wooden surface before turning the door handle and walking into his room.
"Luke..." Brooke said, on the verge of tears, as she painfully gazed at Lucas's curious expression. "It's P-Peyton. We have to go to the h-hospital."
"What?" Lucas said, throwing the blankets off his boxer short and t-shirt clad body and swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to face Brooke. "What's going on?"
"We have to go to the hospital," Brooke said, more profoundly this time. "She doesn't have long. Get dressed, I have to go call Haley and Nathan," she finished quietly and strode out of the room, suddenly with more courage than she had just moments ago. She would not let Peyton die with a blubbering mess for a best friend.
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Lucas emerged from his room some ten minutes later, weary off the aftereffects of his latest party-hard binge and the earth shattering news Brooke had just given him.
He staggered into the kitchen, leaning heavily on the walls in fear that his legs would collapse beneath him. Brooke was sitting at the kitchen table staring down at her hands and looked up quickly when she caught sight of him.
"Let's go," she said shortly, standing from her chair and walking to the door.
The ride to the hospital was filled with shaky breaths and bouncing knees. Lucas's mind was swimming in thoughts. I'm a murderer; what's Petyon's dad going to say to me?; I'm a murderer; Petyon doesn't deserve this, I should be the one that's dying, not her; What's Jake gonna say?; I'm a murderer.
Brooke's mind, however, was blank. No thought strong enough to match what she was feeling could distract her from the heartbreak she knew would come, not just for herself, but for everybody that had so much as glanced Peyton's way. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles turned white and her fingertips started going numb. She wished the pain in her heart could numb, if even just a little bit. Peyton was always her rock, whenever she had a problem, she went to her; Peyton kept her grounded. She was a rock to so many; Lucas was already drifting away from them.
Brooke took a deep breath as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. They quickly found a place to park and hurried inside, knowing that every second that passed was one that they had wasted not spending with Peyton. By the time they got up to the third floor, Nathan and Haley were already seated beside Peyton's dad, nodding and covering their mouths with their hands at the latest news of her condition.
Lucas and Brooke cautiously approached them, Lucas hanging back a few feet behind Brooke as if he was trying to hide himself. Haley dashed over and enveloped Brooke in a hug; Lucas and Nathan nodded at each other.
"You guys better hurry, they don't think she's got much longer, she's getting worse," Mr. Sawyer said, taking a few steps toward the new comers. Brooke and Lucas glanced at each other.
"You go," Lucas said, nodding his head in the direction of Peyton's room. Brooke wasted no time; she quickly squeezed Haley's hand before letting go and hurrying into her room.
Peyton lay there in her bed, as still and pale as ever; her curly blond locks framing her ghost white face. A few stray tears slid down Brookes cheeks as she forced her weak legs to move to the chair next to her bed. She sat down wearily, gazing into her best friend's face; those eyes that would never open again; that mouth that would never speak again; those ears that would never hear again.
"P-Peyton," Brook choked out as a sob escaped her lips. "You can't even begin to imagine how much you're going to be missed. What am I going to do without you, P. Sawyer? You're my best friend, I need you, you've always been there, you can't just leave me. I know that's being really selfish, but I can't imagine life without you--". Another sob wracked her body and she leaned forward in the chair, taking hold of Peyton's cold hand and holding on for dear life as tears ran rampant down her cheeks and her words became uncomprehensible.
"I promise you Peyton, I will never replace you. You are, and always will be, my best friend, even if you're not here, I know you'll be watching over me. If somebody ever says anything bad about you, I promise you, I will be the first one there to defend your name and kick some ass," Brooke paused to whipe furiously at her falling tears, attempting to show some sort of strength and control. She gave Peyton a weak smile, "God, I love you so much, Peyton. I guess this is...it. I never thought I'd see this day so soon. I b-better get going, Luke wants to see you, then you can g-go. B-Bye P. Sawyer. I love you."
She slowly got out of her chair, bent to lay a kiss on Peyton's forehead, and gently rest her hand back at her side. She quickly hurried back out of the room, tears streaming down her face and leaving large drop marks on the collar of her shirt.
Lucas walked over to her and solidly wraped his arms around her, letting her cry into his chest before he slowly steped away from her and pushed the door to Peyton's room open. I caused this. This is all my fault...all my fault.
He quietly sat down in the chair that Brooke had vacated just moments ago and hunched his shoulders forward, gazing nervously at Petyon's still face.
"I'm so sorry, Peyt," Lucas cried, not able to stop the hot tears from pouring over. "I should have been watching the road. I know I've said I'm sorry a thousand times, but I just can't say it enough. It's my fault that you're laying here...d-dying. I'm sorry I didn't come back and visit you more, but I just couldn't bear to see you like this. I'm sorry for every bad thing that I've ever done to you, every mean thing I've ever said. I'm sorry I ever crossed between you and Brooke," sobs thundered through his body as he pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Peyton! I'm gonna miss you so damn much. I will never forget you. You're one of the greatest, most kind-hearted people that I've ever had the fortune of meeting, and I will cherrish every memory that you ever gave me, and mourn every thought of the rest of the memories that we never got the chance to make. I hope you can find it in your hear to forgive me for the pain I've caused you, for stealing your life away from you."
The beeps on the heart monitor started to slow, coming few and far between.
"I love you, Peyton. And you tell God, when you see him, that he's a bastard for taking you away from us so soon. I'll take care of Jake, and Jenny, don't worry about them. I'll take care of you dad, and everybody else that loves you just as much as I do. But watch over us, Peyt, you're the angel on our shoulders now. Have a safe journey on that road to wherever it is that you're going now. I'll never forget about you," he too took her hand in both of his, as the beep on the heart monitor became one solid tone. "Bye, Peyt."
A scrub clad doctor rushed into the room and pushed two fingers to the side of her throat as he glanced down at his watch. After a few seconds, he pulled them away and reached up to shut off the heart monitor and several other machines.He gave Lucas a look of sorrow as he walked out of the room and Luke slowly stood at Peyton's side.
He squezed her hand as he glanced out of the window at the cloudless, blue sky and the bright shining sun, and for one fleeting moment, he swore he saw her face flash in the sky, as light and beautiful as ever.
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to be continued...
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God that was sad/hard to write. I hate dwelling on past experiences for writing, but hey, it works. I'm really sorry it took me forever to get this chapter up, but you have absolutely no idea how busy I've been this week. I have to work five shifts this week, and on the two days off I got (the 2nd one being today) I've had other stuff to do. School starts in some 18 days, so, once again, my life's only going to get more hectic, at least for a while anyway. Combine all that with my brother leaving for college in a few days (I don't want him to go, despite all of our unsettled issues) and life has just been hell for me lately, so I wouldn't expect the next chapter to be up anytime soon. I'll try to start writing it ASAP, but I can't promise anything. Now is when things really start to get good, well, in my mind they do, I don't know how you'll view them. I'm not planning this on being a very long story, maybe 2-3 more chapters and I'll be done. I can't handle writing plus everything else that I have to do currently at the sametime, so after I'm done with this story I think I'll take a break.
But thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH for all of the reviews! Now that's how it's done! You have no idea how happy it made me to get all of them, thanks you guys! Keep up the awesome work! (I would respond to everybody's review, but I know you guys don't want to read all of them anyway, you just want the story, that and I don't really have time, sorry! Maybe next chapter!)
Thanks for reading, please review!