Yo! Time for Chapter 2! Aren't you excited? By golly, I sure am. Good golly gosh, somebody call Lassie, Timmy's in the well. ...again...

I don't own Final Fantasy VIII! You see, this is called fanfiction. To write it, you have to be a fan. Don't worry, it'll all make sense in the morning.

Oh, and a special shout-out to my friends! Because I feel like it! So, Cheers, Salud, and long live Jaz-chan, Wizu-chan, fireyone233, and Mel-chan-baba-sempai-sama! Yes, I understand the grammatical incorrectness. But doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

Pass It Along

Chapter 2: Of Hot Dogs and Kickboxing

The following afternoon, Selphie was walking along, scribbling something in the notebook, when all of a sudden-

"Oof! Who ran into me? Seifer! Go away! I'm tryin' to write, here!"

"What is it? A love letter?" The blond snatched the notebook from Selphie's grasp, looking it over before throwing it back at her, unimpressed. "...What the hell is it?"

"Well," she inhaled deeply, preparing to say one gigantic run-on sentence all in one breath. "Sir Laguna's writing a story but then he couldn't because he doesn't know anything so then he asked Squall to write stuff about himself so he could write a story but Squall was-"

"Hyne, just get to the point!"

"Oh. Well, we all hafta write stuff about Squall, of course! I have to find someone to pass it to so they can write more..."

"Write stuff about Squall, eh?" Seifer stroked his chin thoughtfully; a deliciously devious glint in his eye. "Y'know, Selph, I'm feeling goodhearted today. How 'bout I help you out and take that little notebook off your hands? I'll find somebody to write in it."

"Oh! You'd do that for me! Ok! Here you go!" She handed the notebook and pen to Seifer and skipped off down the hall.

Seifer flipped the book open.

Hey. The freak with the hair (no, not Zell, the other one) just gave me this thing. I am (drumroll please) Seifer. Feel free to applaud and generally go ballistic. Heh. So I guess I'm supposed to write about my dear friend Squall. Ok, so like, this one day, he got really mad at me for no reason whatsoever, and nearly chopped my head off! ...so I was like, "Squall, my best friend in the whole wide world, why did you do this to me?" but then he just lunges at me! So I had no choice but to defend myself. So, I (reluctantly, of course) pulled out Hyperion. Oh, I fended him off easily, of course. He is no match against my superior strength. Hehe. So then Squall tries to trip me like a wimp, and Hyperion loyally tries to break my fall. But I was like, "Shit! It'll get bent!" So I flung it out from under me before I hit the ground, accidentally poking Squall in the forehead. It, of course, left a scar too, one on his ugly face, but nowhere near as impressive as mine. In the exact same place as mine, too, only facing the opposite direction. Copycat. And then he just has to bitch and moan about it like it was my fault or something. And that's hard to do when your vocabulary is ONE WORD. "Whatever." Well, that's all I have to say about Squall. Oh wait, then he goes and steals my girlfriend. Now isn't that just a nice kick in the balls! He couldn't even get her by conventional methods, mind you, but by makin' her think I was frickin' dead. Oh well, I CAN GET ANY GIRL I WANT! HA! PUBERTY BOY! Hmm, what next...

"OUTTA MY WAY! I'M GONNA MISS THE HOT DOGS AGAIN!" Zell cried, as he sprinted towards the cafeteria.

Seifer looked up from his writing and scowled. "No one cares."

"I DO!" Zell yelled.

Raijin popped up out of nowhere and exclaimed, "And I pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride, ya know? Ha ha!" Ah, Raijin. There's that biting wit we've all come to know and love...

Zell blushed and took up a fighting stance. "What the hell are you-!"

Basking in Zell's annoyance, Seifer replied, "I call the man!"

"Wha-? I'm not the wife!"

"DISTURBING." Fujin commented.

Raijin laughed, "You can say that again, ya know?"

"DISTURBING."

Zell's face was beet red. He drew himself up to his full height and stepped up to Seifer, glaring dangerously and shaking his fist at the blond who still towered over him.

"I am SICK and TIRED of you guys picking on me all the time! I-" Suddenly, his eyes widened. "DAMMIT! They're all outta hot dogs!" Zell shot his best 'death glare' at the disciplinary committee. "And it's ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Cool it, Chicken-wuss," Seifer replied, placing his hands on Zell's shoulders and facing him the other way. "Here's something to help you pass the time until lunchtime tomorrow." He handed the little fighter the notebook and pen.

"Sweet pen, but I don't get it…"

"Of course you don't. Just write stuff about Squall, ok? Gotta go get my hair dyed."

"Oh," Zell commented, "that explains why your hair was lookin' weird."

Seifer immediately took offense. "MY HAIR NEVER LOOKS WEIRD! Oh, and like you, of all people, should talk about weird hair…!"

As Seifer stormed out of the Garden, Zell sniffed the fuzzy pink pen with curiosity, like a puppy. Like a little puppy with a crest of blond hair and a tattoo on his face. Fujin stared at him.

"What're you lookin at?"

"WIERDO."

YOOOOOO! Hehe, so, I'm 'sposed to write stuff about Squall, huh? Hmm… oh yeah, this is Zell. Oh man, there was this one time when we were all in prison or whatever and I had to save everybody from these huge monsters and Seifer was torturing Squall with the coochi-coochi treatment or something like that…oh yeah, Squall let me borrow his ring once. That was cool. It was like, a goat or something, I think, but it was still cool! But then I lent it to Rinoa and she went and almost got herself killed and I was thinkin "Squall's gonna kill me! I lost his ring and his girlfriend in about two seconds!" Of course, then they were "just friends" or something, but I could tell. Yep, I knew all along. Y'know, some people say that when they tattooed my face they punctured my brain, but I don't think so, do you? I'm smart. And hey, this chick, oh, I'd say about 13 years old ran up to me the other day at Toys R Us and asked for my autograph! It was so cool! She was pretty cute, too, but like I said, she was about 13. Toooooo baaaaaaadd.

"This your diary?"

Zell looked up to see a certain cowboy reading over his shoulder.

"No, it is not my diary!" Zell squawked, flustered.

Oh yeah, and manly men like me do not keep diaries! Just thought I'd clear that up.

Zell snapped the notebook shut and puffed his chest out proudly. "It's a biiiiiig notebook with crud about Squall in it."

"... I didn't know you were like that..."

"It's not mine!" Zell exclaimed, "Seifer said we're all 'sposed to write stuff about Squall in this notebook."

"But why?"

Zell shrugged. "Beats me. Why don't you go ask Seifer?"

"Sure," Irvine asked, "where is he?"

"Oh yeah, he's at the beauty parlor getting his hair done. You want the notebook?"

Irvine scratched his head. "No, I don't want it, but I'll write in it if that's what you mean."

"Well then, here you go!" Zell beamed, passing the book to Irvine. "Gotta go train!" The blond bounced back and forth and faked a few punches before grinning and running off.

I LOVE this PEN! Yee-haw! Alrighty, let's get down to business. Irvine's the name, and err… writin' this stuff is my, err…game? Oh shit, that was so stupid! I would erase it, 'cept this is in pen! Even you know what my game is. My game…hehe… Hey hey hey, let's not tell anyone about that, ok? Thanks a million. Hmm, Squall… err, he's a guy with a big ol' scar and really big hair. He wears a feathery coat and leather pants and a few too many belts than what's normal. I mean, everyone knows belts are hot, (I wear a belt) but six is a little desperate looking. And he has earrings. Heh, like me. ...well shit, that's about all I can think of. So now that that's over with, I can write about more interesting stuff. Are you a guy or a girl? Hmm… it's a book about Squall so if you're reading this you're… probably a girl. Well what a coinky-dink. So, what's shakin'? Hey, if you wanna borrow some scrunchies, help yourself. There's a biiiiiiiiig box of 'em… under my bed… So if you ever need any, just pay me a visit, ok? Also, if you need any shampoo… you only need to ask. I have a generous supply of good-smelling French stuff. Only the best for my hair, err, I mean you… heh. I am known world over for my excellent... shampooing... skills. I've got it down. Lather. Rinse. Repeat... So come on over any time, you know where to find me. Just knock first, I might be mas-...er, well, mastering the, um, art, of, ehhh... kickboxing! Yeah, kickboxing...Heey, I spy the next unsuspecting victim of this evil notebook thingy! Gotta go! Oh, yeah, if you're ever in town, or if I'm ever in town, (y'know, I'm a travelling man. A bit of a loner...) and you're looking for a good time with a real man… don't hesitate to drop by! See ya around! Wait a sec, WINK WINK. There, I'm done. Oh, did I mention that I wear chaps!