Chapter Fourteen

Warning: This chapter contains a sexual situation not appropriate for younger readers.

Michaela opened her eyes at the sound of the thunder. She was surrounded by Cheyenne women, who were adorning her in beautiful beads and wrapping her in a buckskin dress of some sort. Her hair was untamed and running long down her back, and she could hear the cries of her little Katie somewhere in he dark hovel. She looked over to see a Cheyenne woman with eyes brighter than the winter on a sunny day. The woman was holding Katie, who was wrapped in a thick fur blanket to keep her warm from the cool weather that was sure to follow the storm.

"I am Snow Bird," she said with a pleased smile.

"You're Cloud Dancing's wife," Michaela said with wide eyes. Snow Bird nodded and smiled. "My baby…"

"She is rested. Your husband brings food to camp with my husband. He will return very soon…before the ritual begins."

"These clothes?"

"They are not ceremonial," Snow Bird said, grinning at the medicine woman. "Your clothes were soaked in the rain on your journey to our camp." Michaela's head was dizzy from the steam that was starting to fill the lodge.

"I remember now," she breathed. "Katie shouldn't be in here."

"I will take her to my teepee," Snow Bird promised. "I will care for her as if she were my own until the ritual is complete."

"How long will it take?"

"It depends on the person's spirit. Some people take days, some a week, yet others heal quickly due to strong wills and spirits. Your husband believes you are one of those." Michaela smiled a little, and Snow Bird reached out to touch her stomach. She didn't move, but she stared into the older woman's eyes.

"A strong child grows inside of you," she commented. "You must nourish yourself now until the clouds part and the sun shines down." Young Cheyenne girls brought in bowls of food and skins of water, and Michaela wasn't sure what to make of it. "You must eat for the child." Michaela nodded, and she began to eat what they had to offer. The women began to leave the hut, but Snow Bird stayed a few minutes longer. When Katie began to fuss, she left Michaela alone and took the little one back to her teepee.

Michaela ate and drank and felt her body growing stronger. She watched the steam from the hot stones swirling up and spreading out over the dome of the lodge. It clung there, thickening like the rain clouds, and when she could eat nothing more, she lay back and watched as her eyes played tricks on her, and she saw her family through the semi-translucent fog. She reached out to them, but her fingers broke the veil of fog that protected her, and she began to shiver. She pulled a blanket around her body, and even though the temperature was almost sweltering, she couldn't shake the cold feeling of being away from her family and left to the mercy of the Spirits.

"Sully!" she cried out. He had promised to be there with her if she wanted him, and she did. She wanted him there with her. "Sully!" She sat up, her head light and her darkened world spinning. A moment later, someone entered, soaking wet from the storm. Michaela peered through the fog. "Sully?"

"I'm here. You okay?" he asked, moving toward her.

"Yes," she breathed. "I didn't know where you were. I woke up, and…"

"Do ya want me here with ya during…"

"I know I should do this alone," she said softly. "I want you here, but I know I need to be alone." Sully nodded and held her hand in his. He brought it to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss there.

"Don't worry," he said softly. "Cloud Dancin' thinks it'll be over by nightfall. You're strong, Michaela."

"I don't feel very strong," she said quietly, falling against him, his soaking buckskins dampening her dress.

"You'll feel better real soon, Michaela. I promise," Sully said with a soft sigh. "I'll be waitin' for ya when it's all over." Michaela nodded, and she felt Sully place a kiss to her forehead. A moment later, bright light filtered through the fog as Cloud Dancing entered.

"The storm has passed. It is time."

Matthew felt a lot better as the wagon wobbled along the countryside. They were covering a lot of miles, and they hoped to be in Colorado by the end of the week. Brian and Colleen were sitting in the back playing silly games, trying to keep the mood light. They had had a good breakfast, and they were set until at least the evening time.

"Ya still got that newspaper from yesterday?"

"Yeah," Brian replied. "Didn't look at it yet, but I can't read it that good anyhow."

"Give it here," Colleen said. "I'll read it." Brian reached into his back pocket and pulled out the folded up newspaper. He handed it to Colleen, and she held it firmly in her little hands. "Says here that some fellas are goin' 'round robbin' stagecoaches."

"Anythin' 'bout Pa?" Matthew said, his jaw clenching.

"No," Colleen said sadly, scanning over the pages. Her eyes went wide, and she let out a gasp.

"What?"

"Oh my gosh. Says here that 'Byron Sully and his wife, Michaela Quinn Sully of Colorado Springs would like to pe…pet…petition for adoption of the infant Katherine Elizabeth Cooper. All responsible parties should come forward before September 30th of this month." Matthew quickly stopped the wagon and jumped into the back to grab hold of the paper.

"Dr. Mike?" Brian asked, his ears almost perking up. "She's gonna 'dopt Katie?" Colleen and Matthew exchanged glances. "She's real nice. Bet Katie'd like it there."

"She ain't gonna adopt our sister," Matthew replied. "She's our sister. We'll take care of her." He looked at Colleen. "Right?" She bit her bottom lip, going against what her heart told her to say.

"Right," she whispered.

"C'mon," Matthew urged, climbing back into the driver's seat. "Let's get to Colorado Springs."

Lydia walked into the mercantile after the storm, and she began to pick up a few things for Grace as payment for letting her stay at her home for a little while. She was surprised to find Abagail running the store, and she noticed how sad the girl looked, and she couldn't help but be reminded of what it had been like after she was with David. She'd been so sad after all of it was said and done.

"Good afternoon, Abagail," Lydia said with a soft smile, trying to hide her own sadness at the moment.

"Mrs. Johnson," Abagail replied, her frown quickly turning into a smile.

"Please, call me Lydia." Abagail nodded, and Lydia moved closer to her.

"Are you all right?" she asked softly. Abagail nodded her head.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired is all," she replied.

"Maybe you should have Dr. Bernard examine you before he leaves on the stagecoach."

"No. It's nothing, really. I'm fine." She squeezed on the side of her skirt to try to take the focus off of her pain. "Will this be all for you?" Lydia looked down at the items she had selected.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Would you like this put onto your account?"

"No thank you," Lydia replied.

"That'll be a dollar," Abagail replied. Lydia nodded and handed a dollar to Abagail. "Thanks."

"You're sure you're all right?" Lydia asked.

"Yes. I'm fine," Abagail replied, her eyes telling otherwise. Lydia couldn't force her to say anything that she didn't feel comfortable about, so she slowly left the mercantile. Abagail leaned on the counter and put a hand on her stomach. She'd been bleeding for a week. She shook her head and swallowed hard. She told herself she was being silly and that it was her monthly.

"Abby?" Martin came walking in, his clothes drenched from the earlier storm. His light brown hair was matted to his cheeks, and sweat rolled off with the rainwater. "Make me some coffee, would ya?"

"Can't ya just go to Grace's?" Abagail asked. Martin stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. She laughed as he kissed her neck, and she felt the stubble on his chin tickle her. "Martin!"

"C'mon, Abby. Ya know I like your coffee better'n Grace's." Abagail sighed and rolled her eyes.

"If you insist," she laughed. "Two lumps, right?" Martin nodded, and he pulled her into another kiss. The pain started up again, but she held back the gasp that attempted to escape. When he wanted to kiss her again, she pushed him back a little.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I…I just…"

"What's wrong, Abby? Ya never acted like this before. Sure, ya been quiet lately. What'd I do?"

"Nothin', Martin," she said softly.

"Ya been lonely at night, Abby. Don't think I don't know. I know ya get outta bed and sit at the window. Ain't ya happy?" Abagail blinked back her tears.

"I am," she replied. "I'm just restless. I've never been outta Colorado Springs. I ain't had time to do much've anything." Martin frowned.

"I'll tell ya what," he said quietly. "Come Christmas, I'm gonna take ya to Denver, and we'll have the honeymoon we ain't never had." Abagail's eyes brightened, and she felt happier than she'd felt in a long time.

"You mean it!"

"'Course I do," he replied. "I'd do anything to see that smile on you're face." The pain came back once more, and she let out a sharp gasp. "Abby? What's the matter?"

"Nothing! Nothing. I think ya just squeezed me too tight." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll go make your coffee. Watch the store for me." Martin nodded, and Abagail hurried away, trying to ignore the pain.

The pain grew intense, as the final minutes of the ritual passed on. The moon was high, and Michaela was writhing on the skins on the floor of the sweat lodge. Her body was coated in sweat, and her hair was damp. She'd pulled the clothes off of her body and wrapped herself in a buckskin blanket. Her entire body throbbed as she faced the demons of her past.

Sully had heard her screaming out all afternoon and evening long, and he had had to restrain himself on several occasions from going in and holding her. He knew she had to do it on her own, no matter how difficult it was.

"Not the baby," she cried out, her eyes closed, a vision of David standing over her with her unborn child's blood covering his hands. "You did this to me. You made me afraid. You didn't want me to be happy with him. You wanted this. You tried to take what was mine." She shook her head, and she placed her hands upon her stomach. "No more. I won't let you do this." She gasped in the darkness of the sweltering lodge, and she felt the air escaping her lungs, choking her and making her heart pound. "No! No more! I'm finished with you! I'm moving on!" As if by command, David turned with a smile upon his face. He walked away, his hands clean and his heart beating almost pure. It made her sick for a split second, but the pain her body felt began to go away. "I'm sorry for what's happened to you. Nobody deserves whatever happened that made you this way. I'm sorry, David."

Sully clenched his fists, and Cloud Dancing put a hand on his arm.

"Not yet," he commanded.

Michaela felt the breath returning to her body.

"Sully," she whispered. "The baby…save the baby." He knelt behind her in the fog, his arms wrapping around her waist and his hands covering her stomach. "Sully, I'm safe with you." She moved to touch his arm, but he disappeared, and she fell back onto the furs.

"Mama." Michaela blinked, and the vision of a beautiful little girl with hair like her father's and eyes like her mother's stepped forward.

"I know you," Michaela breathed. The little girl nodded and reached out for Michaela. She stroked her cheek, and she wiped away a thick tear that escaped.

"I'm in a good place, Mama. Don't worry about me."

"I'm so sorry," Michaela sobbed. "It's my fault! I…I should have taken better care."

"You did, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, sweet girl."

"Anna," she whispered. "That's what you would have named me." Michaela's lower lip trembled.

"Yes," she breathed. She hadn't told anyone that. It was a name her heart had out. Not even Sully knew.

"Katie needs you now," Anna said softly. "You have to be strong for her and for Papa. I know you both love me, Mama."

"My little girl," Michaela whispered, reaching for her. She didn't want her to go away, and she could even feel her little hand slip into hers. She closed her eyes, but she could still see her. Her hair long, curly and dark brown, and her eyes hazel and olive just like Mama.

"I'll be with you forever, Mama. I know I will. You'll hold me in your arms at night until we're together again. I'll always be here."

"My little girl," Michaela repeated, "I wanted you so much. Your father wanted a little girl…"

"He has Katie now. She'll make you both happy, Mama. She'll watch over my twin brother." Michaela opened her eyes. "He'll have your eyes and Papa's hair." Michaela breathed a shaky breath, and she choked out another sob. "Please don't cry, Mama. It wasn't your fault. I'm with Katie's mama, and she's taking good care of me. I love you, Mama."

"I love you." The pain continued to weaken, as she heard her little girl's voice. The voice would always be with her and fill her heart and try to ease her nightmares.

"Doc," came a voice. Michaela smiled a little.

"Charlotte," she whispered.

"She's beautiful, ain't she? Katie?"

"She is. Oh, Charlotte, I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?"

"You know in your heart, don't ya?"

"Yes," Michaela whispered. "I'll never let her forget you."

"I know. I don't think I coulda picked a better lady to raise my baby. Ya did do the right thing."

"It's my fault…what happened…"

"No," Charlotte whispered. "I knew it was my time. I knew for months, Doc. Don't fret no more. Don't fret." At that moment, the pain was gone.

"She's been quiet too long," Sully said quickly. "I need to check on her."

"She will be fine," Cloud Dancing promised. "Come build a fire with me. When the flames are high, you may join her." Sully looked toward the entrance of the lodge, and he finally nodded. He touched the outside of the lodge.

"I'll be right back, Michaela. I promise."

Well into the night, Albert sat on the balcony of the clinic watching Lydia sit in a rocking chair on the porch of Grace and Robert E.'s house. She saw him watching, and he knew it, but he didn't care. She was his wife, and she meant more to him than anything or anyone in the world. He knew he was an idiot for not telling her sooner, but it was the past, and he couldn't change it.

She looked up again, and she saw him looking at her, and she picked up her things and walked inside. Albert sighed heavily, and he stormed back into the room above the clinic. He slammed the balcony doors loudly, and this caused Julianna to open her door and peer into the dimly lit room across the hall. Albert's door was wide open anyway.

"Everything okay?" she wondered, moving into the hall. Albert leaned against the doors for a moment, before he turned around.

"No," he replied.

"Albert, go talk with her. She is your wife after all."

"She doesn't want to see me."

"Yes she does." Julianna laughed a little.

"She doesn't. When she says she doesn't want to see me, she means it."

"Perhaps for a time, but if she's like any woman I know, I bet she's been sitting outside where you can see her, am I right?" Albert's jaw gaped open a little. "I bet she keeps glancing at you, and she probably looks away. She's enjoying it, Albert, even though it hurts. Part of her probably wants to toy with you like this."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Julianna replied. "If there's anything I know about relationships, this is the best time to go speak with her."

"She just went inside."

"Never mind."

"What?"

"She's probably angrier with you for not coming over sooner."

"No…not Lydia." Julianna shrugged. "I have to try. I have to see her."

"Then why are you waiting on Christmas?" Albert watched as she raised an eyebrow, and he shook his head. She'd said that a lot when she was impatient with him during their marriage. He quickly grabbed his hat and hurried out of the clinic and into the dark night to attempt to talk with Lydia.

Michaela felt a cool breeze overtake her body as the flap entrance to the sweat lodge opened. Sully pulled himself in and brought her a canteen of water. She sat up quickly, pulling the blanket around her naked body.

"Drink this, Michaela," he urged, holding it out to her.

"Is it you?" she asked. He moved closer carefully.

"It's me," he promised.

"You're real?" She reached out and touched his face, touching his warm flesh to make sure he was there. But Anna had been there. She'd felt real.

"I'm real. I'm here," he promised, touching her face. "I'll always be here." Michaela sighed softly, and he felt her hot tears spill onto his flesh.

"I know," she said softly. "I believe you."

"Ya feel all right?"

"She was…she was here."

"Who was here, Michaela?" he asked, placing the canteen in her hands. She shook her head and pulled the container to her lips. She drank it down thirstily, quenching the thirst her body had sweated. She placed the canteen down, and Sully moved toward her. "Are ya all right?" She nodded, reaching out for him.

"It's hard to see in here."

"We've got a teepee ready." Michaela nodded. "Ya ready to sleep?" She shook her head and found his body in the darkness. She touched his chest, and she could feel his hard muscles through his shirt.

"No," she breathed. "I feel more alive than ever." Her hands moved up his shoulders and neck, and they cupped his face. She breathed in and surprised him with a full kiss upon his lips, her mouth moving against his, and her blanked body pressing close to his.

"Michaela?" he asked, surprise in his voice as he gently pushed her shoulders back. "Are ya sure 'bout this?" She answered him with a moan as her lips pressed against his again. In the darkness, he couldn't see the flush upon her face at her oh-so-bold actions, but her enthusiasm drove his own desire, and he pulled his arms around her before gently laying her down on the furs. His hands roamed over her body, and he felt the material of the buckskin blanket, and he felt her shifting. A moment later, his hand found bare skin, and he realized she was wearing nothing. "Michaela…" His lips searched the darkness for hers again. She whimpered softly as his lips moved down her neck and kissed a line to her naval. He splayed his hands upon her belly, and he kissed her again. Michaela sat up, and she blindly reached to help him discard his shirt. His moccasins and buckskins went next, and she could feel his warmth emanating and soaking into her as he pulled her tight.

"Sully," she whispered, sweat trickling down her temples and over her lips. He kissed her firmly, loving her and begging for entrance into her mouth. She gasped, as he brought her into his lap, and her legs wrapped around his waist. He reached under her, stroking her and pleasuring her. Their lips never broke apart, and she shuddered into his mouth, her tongue dancing with his. She had never felt closer to him. Their spirits seemed to mold together.

"Michaela," he whispered as her hands stroked his chest, his thighs and gently grazed against him. He shivered and held on for dear life, as she broke away from his kiss for only a moment.

"Sully," she whispered. "Sully, please. Now." She'd never felt freer, more in control of her emotions or more alive, as she placed her hands on his shoulders, and he lifted her up. She slid herself down onto him, embedding him inside of her. She cried out into his mouth, and Sully's own moans of pleasure mixed with hers. Her legs tightened around him. He curled an arm around her protectively, and his free hand found a breast. She let out a sigh of pleasure as they began to move together. His mouth moved from her lips to her jaw bone, placing tiny wet kisses from her chin to a sensitive spot behind her ear. She moaned, lightly nipping at his shoulder, and they tumbled back onto the furs, blind to each other but seeing through the darkness, remembering the maps of each other's bodies. "Yes…" Her arms encircled his neck, pulling him down to her, and he quickly found her other breast with his mouth. "Yes…"

She was losing control, and her back arched as he found her wick with his fingers and set it on fire with his touch. She muffled her cries in his shoulder, and he buried his own in her damp flesh, kissing her and holding her, not wanting to let go.

The race was ending, and Sully held on for her. She held him tight, her body not wanting to let him go. Their hearts pumped together, beating new life into their souls and new breath into their lungs. Her eyes flew open, and for a moment, she could see his eyes staring into her, filling her with pure joy. She closed them tight again, as she felt him thrust once, twice, three more times.

"Sully," she cried out, her body rippling and exploding with his. He cried out her name, and they were silent. Their heavy breaths filled the small dwelling, and he pulled away from her long enough to situate himself beside her. In the darkness, they curled up inside of each other's arms, and they caressed one another, kissed one another and breathed together as the Spirits smiled down on them.

"How do ya feel?"

"Better than I have in a long time. I feel empty of all of the pain, and at the same time, I feel full of everything good in my life. I've let go of it, Sully. I'm completely happy. You're here. We have Katie. We have our son." Sully shifted against her.

"Son?"

"Yes," she whispered. "You don't mind do you?"

"'Course not, but how do ya know?" Her lips curled into a smile in the darkness, and it was almost bright enough for Sully to see.

"I just know. Trust me."

"I do," he replied, kissing her damp forehead.

"Thank you for being here."

"Ya went through it on your own."

"But I felt you near me. You were always close by." Sully placed his hand upon his wife's chest; over her heart.

"I'll always be close by, even if I ain't really here. I'll always be here." Tears welled in Michaela's eyes as she thought about Anna's words to her.

"I know," she breathed. "I know."