Chapter Seventeen

WARNING: This chapter includes sexual content not meant for younger readers.

A crowd had formed outside of the clinic again, and Martin was sitting on the outside bench with his face in his hands. He couldn't bare the thought of losing his wife and his father in the same day. They were all he had left in the world, and without them, he didn't know what to do.

Loren was sitting next to his son-in-law, trying to ease his worries by confronting his own. His Abby was all he had left in the world, and he couldn't lose her. Not after losing Maude so suddenly.

Even Albert, Lydia and Andrew had come to the clinic. Andrew was standing by in case Michaela needed any help. It had been two hours now, and there had been no word from inside of the clinic. They could only imagine what was going on behind that door. They couldn't even hear Abagail screaming. She hadn't been conscious when Martin had come downstairs to find the situation. She'd be paler than he had ever seen, and the blood had been enough to turn his stomach. Michaela had sent him outside, and that had been the last time he'd seen either one of them.

"What's takin' so long?" Martin asked quietly.

"These things take time, Martin," Lydia said softly. "I've assisted in these types of things."

"What type of things? We don't even know what's wrong."

"Hey Doc," Hank said, looking at Mr. Strauss, "maybe you ought 'ta go in there and see what's takin' so long. Maybe that woman don't know what she's doin'."

"She knows what she's doing," Lydia defended.

"I'm sure Dr. Quinn is doing fine on her own," Andrew replied. "She has quite a reputation." He turned toward Martin. "I'm sure your wife is in good hands."

"What if she had to cut on her?" Martin asked.

"I'm sure Dr. Quinn knows what she's doing," Andrew reinforced. "If she didn't, I don't think she would have graduated from medical school. I believe they're tougher on women there. Don't worry." Sure enough, a few minutes later, Michaela came out of the clinic with her apron spattered with blood, some fresh and some two hours old. Everybody stood and turned toward her.

"She's resting now," she breathed.

"What was wrong?"
"First of all, Abagail woke long enough to give me permission to do what I had to do. She was bleeding profusely, and I found a growth inside of her uterus." A few faces had blank stares. "Her…womb." Andrew's face grew grim, and Lydia's did too. Both of them knew.

"What's that mean? What'd you have to do?" Martin asked.

"I'm afraid I had to extirpate her uterus. I…I had to remove it." Loren's face grew pale now, and he shook his head sadly. He noticed Martin's searching eyes, and he knew he didn't quite understand.

"What's…what's that mean? What's gonna happen?"

"Hopefully, she'll recover and live life as long as she was meant to."

"But…she can't have…have children." Michaela nodded sadly.

"I'm afraid not. I'm very sorry." Several folks walked away after the news, and Martin looked toward the door, not sure of what to think.

"She agreed to it? She let ya…"

"She was frightened, Martin. If I didn't remove it, she would have been in terrible pain until…" Martin shook his head not wanting to hear anything more. Tears threatened to drown his eyes.

"She's gonna be all right now?"

"She should be just fine. I'm going to monitor her very closely for the next few days." Martin hurried in to sit with his wife, and Michaela put her hand on her nauseated stomach. Lydia hurried over to her.

"Michaela, you're supposed to be resting," Lydia said quietly. "Dr. Bernard insisted." Michaela sighed.

"I know. But, Abagail needs me." Lydia looked to Andrew.

"Andrew? I know you're visiting, but could you do it?" Michaela looked to Mr. Strauss. "Michaela, this is my cousin, Dr. Andrew Strauss. Andrew, this is Dr. Michaela Quinn."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Quinn," Andrew said, tipping his hat. "I've heard a lot about you."

"And I of you, from your cousin, of course. I've read about you in medical journals as well. They say you're quite talented." Lydia beamed. "I am supposed to rest, and I have a sick child at home."

"Say no more, Dr. Quinn. I'm taking an extended vacation, so what's a few days?" Michaela smiled thankfully.

"Thank you very much, Dr. Strauss. Come along, and I'll introduce you to our patient."

Katie hadn't stopped crying since Michaela left, and it was grating on Sully's nerves. He was scared, because her fever wasn't appearing to go down, and he didn't know what had happened to his wife. Katie was so uncomfortable, and he felt so guilty for not being able to help her. His nerves were shot, and he only wanted Michaela to get home soon. What had it been? Three hours? Four? He figured it was going on five.

"Please, Kates. Try to eat for Papa." Katie continued to cry, and he knew that if he put her down, she would only cry louder and louder. He was worried, and poor Wolf was lying in front of the hearth, trying to cover his ears with his paws. The animal finally rushed up the stairs to try to escape it. It was getting late, and Katie wasn't about to give up the fight.

Michaela burst in the door, when she heard Katie screaming, and she found a frazzled Sully sitting on the floor, his back propped against an armchair, cradling the screaming little baby in his arms.

"What happened?" he asked, worry in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sully…"

"I've been sitting here for five hours with a sick baby, and you've been…I thought ya got hurt, Michaela!"

"Don't shout at me!" Michaela argued, moving over to pick the baby up in her arms.

"She's been screamin' like this since ya left, and I'm sorry, but that wears on ya after a few hours!" His outburst caused Katie to scream louder, and Michaela glared at her husband.

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you, so I'm going to take our daughter upstairs and try to bring her fever down." Michaela moved quickly, taking the baby up into their room. Her heart was pounding. The baby's fever hadn't broken, and she was scared, because she thought that it could have been her fault. She'd been gone much longer than she expected, and she knew Sully wasn't in the wrong to be upset, but she had had a hard day. On top of losing a patient and almost losing another, she had been worrying and wondering if her little girl was all right at home. She had never thought that being a doctor and a mother at the same time would be so difficult.

Sully entered the room slowly.

"Michaela," he said quietly.

"Not now, Sully." She looked toward the basin. "Pour some cold water into that and bring it over here."

"I already tried that."

"I know. Just bring it back over." Sully nodded, and he did that, as Michaela rummaged through her medical bag. She gave the baby something, and it wasn't long before the crying died down, but she was still fussing.

"How'd ya do that?"

"I guess it's lucky that I'm a doctor," she breathed, her heart still racing. Sully handed her a sponge, and she dipped it in the cold water. She stripped the baby down to her diaper and began to rinse her down. Katie fussed a little more, but her face returned to its normal color. Michaela took out a thermometer, and she checked the baby's temperature. With a sigh, she smiled up at Sully. "Thank God. Her fever's breaking." She wrapped the baby back up and cradled her. Sully watched in silence, as Michaela got their daughter back to sleep. He felt like he had failed them both. "She's sleeping." Michaela kissed the top of Katie's head and placed her down in her cradle. Silently, she and Sully left the room and started down the stairs. As soon as they were in the living room, she turned to Sully, her eyes full of frustration.

"Michaela, I…"

"I know you were frustrated, because Katie was so sick, but that gave you no…no right to…"

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, stepping toward her. "I was worried. I thought somethin' might've happened to ya, and I was so worried 'bout Katie. I'm sorry I snapped at ya like that." Michaela sighed heavily and moved into the kitchen to put on the kettle.

"I know. But, there are going to be times when I can't come home right away. I know we're both very new to this, Sully. Katie's so young, and we have another one on the way. It's not going to be easy, but I'll keep her with me all day when I can."

"And I'll stay home with her when I ain't workin' for Welland Smith." He pulled her into his arms. "I'm real sorry, Michaela."

"So am I." She pulled back a little and looked into his eyes. "I lost Jeb Martin." Sully sighed and nodded softly. "And, the reason I was so late was because Abagail needed surgery."

"Abagail?"

"She's resting now. Lydia's cousin Andrew will be watching over her. I'm staying home to rest. I promise."

"That's good to hear." He smiled a little and kissed her softly. "Bet you'll be ready to get back to work at the end of the week."

"I don't know. I may get spoiled staying home all day with my family." He kissed her softly again, and he moved across the room to the hearth. He sat down on the rug, and he held his hand out to his wife. She smiled and took it, curling up beside the flames with him. "Read to me."

"Read what?" Michaela bit her bottom lip, and she reached over into a small table. She pulled out a book that Sully hadn't seen in a long time. "Your diary?"

"Mmmhmm," she whispered. "Turn to June 8th." Sully chuckled a little, and he took the book into his hands. Michaela's lips kissed his cheek, before she settled her head against his chest. He curled his arms snugly around her and began to read the words his wife had written on their wedding day.

"I've never been so nervous and so ready at the very same time. It's happening. It's really happening today. What happened to Lydia scared me to no end, and I don't want to wait any longer. I'm ready to share my life with this man, because a part of me believes that we've found one another, though our souls have known one another since the beginning of time. I wonder what I've been waiting for? Five months isn't long, but it's long enough to know that this is the man I'm supposed to spend forever with. I know we're right for one another. We understand each other more than anyone. It's time to stop living in fear that David is going to come back to hurt us time and time again. It's time to stop wasting time! I want to be his wife. I want to show him how much I've loved him for so very long. I hope I'm everything he expected." Sully paused from the reading, and he smiled. "You are everything to me." Michaela's eyes watered, and their lips found each other's again.

"Good," she whispered, taking his hand in hers and placing it gently on her tummy. "I want this baby to know that his parents love each other, and that he'll always be loved and protected."

"I'm sure he knows," he replied, "but in case he don't, we'll remind him every chance we get."

"I wish you could have seen her, Sully. Anna. She was so beautiful."

"She was our girl. I'm sure she was more than beautiful."

"She looked like an angel. She was an angel. She was happy, and that's what she wanted for me." She pulled back a little and looked into his eyes. "I am happy, Sully. You've made me so happy." She sighed softly. "Things will be better from now on. They won't always be easy, but we'll get through it." Sully nodded, and he took her hands into his. He kissed each of them, and he looked into her eyes, his big, azure oceans sparkling in the firelight.

"Michaela, you don't know what joy you've brought into my life since I met you. You found me when I was at the lowest point in my life. I was on the edge of death, I'd lost my parents; I'd lost everything. You found me, and you pulled me up. You gave me the chance to live again. You're the one woman who has ever captured my heart, made me laugh, made me cry and made me feel so many emotions at once. I feel right when I'm with you. You're everything to me, Michaela Quinn, and I vow to honor you for the rest of our lives. I vow to love you, cherish you and protect you forever. We've seen each other through sickness and through Hell already, so I don't know what's comin' next, but I know I want to see it through with you." Michaela almost gasped, her eyes fogging up and her lips curling into a smile. Without telling him she remembered, she squeezed his hands.

"Sully, when we first met, I felt a connection to you. I felt a connection to you before you even opened your eyes. I knew you meant something to me. I'm only sorry it took me a little while to figure it out and follow my heart. I've grown with you since we met. I'm certainly more patient than I was before. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid to feel or to love. I'm not afraid to give my love to someone and for them to love me back. You are a gift to me." Sully smiled, and he pulled her closer.

"You saved my life, Michaela. Lovin' you has given me a purpose. Every night before I go to sleep, I see your beautiful eyes, your smile, and I see the crinkle in your nose when you laugh. The sound of your voice and laughter fills me, and it gives me happiness I never knew before you came along. I wanna spend forever makin' you laugh and smile, and I wanna hold ya when you cry. I take you, Michaela Quinn, as my wife, now and forever."

"I vow to be your wife from this day forward, to be by your side during the good times and the bad. I vow to protect you, to honor you, to love you and to patch you up along the way. You've supported me through so much, and you've been there, even when you weren't here. You were always in my heart, Sully, and I vow to you that forever, you'll remain there. I take you, Byron Sully, as my husband, now and forever." Without more words, they pulled each other in. It was amazing how they had remembered their vows after all of the trauma they'd endured in the past couple of months.

Their lips explored each other's, and Sully pulled his hands through Michaela's hair, gently taking out the pins that held it up and out of the way. Her locks cascaded down her back, and she moaned softly as his fingers began to unbutton her blouse. She smiled as he kissed each inch of exposed flesh that was uncovered by each open button. She leaned her neck back, bringing her hands up his sides and around to his back, lightly pulling at his shirt to un-tuck it from his buckskins. She removed his belt next, as he un-tucked her blouse and slid it down her arms. Her camisole clung to her body, itching her skin. His mouth found the bare flesh above her breasts, and he kissed it, igniting the fire that quickly spread throughout her body.

Sully stood slowly and pulled her up with him. He lifted his arms, letting her slide the shirt off of him, smiling as her fingers lingered on his chest. Her eyes sparkled wildly in the flames, and she slowly leaned down to kiss him, tenderly running a finger over his nipple. Sully bit his lip, as her hands loosened the button on his buckskins, and he toyed with her own belt, watching as her skirt floated to the floor. He grinned, watching her standing before him in nothing but her underclothes. She was gorgeous; a vision in lacy white.

She watched him kneel to the floor, raising her camisole to softly kiss and suckle the flesh on her belly. She nearly melted then, but she put her hands on his shoulders to keep herself standing. She stepped out of her pantaloons as he peeled them to the floor with her stockings, and he kissed his way up her body, as she lifted her camisole off. His mouth found her breast and then her other. He was taking his time with her now. In the sweat lodge they had been pure and loving, but that time had been tinged with such raw need and desperation. Right now, the world was theirs, and they had as much time as they wanted or needed.

When he finally stood, he stepped out of the rest of his clothing, and he pulled her down onto the floor again, holding her close and feeling her flesh warming at his touch. He lay her down onto the floor, and he cupped her face in his hand. He gently ran his thumb over her lips, and she kissed the tip, her lips full and ready for more of his kisses. He laced their fingers together, as he leaned down to kiss her fully but taking his time, loving each part of her.

He could smell the scent of lilacs in her hair, and it made his mouth water. He felt her hands exploring him, loving him, caressing him. She knew what to do to please him, and it was so endearing. They knew each other so well, yet each time they were together, they found out something new about the other person. Each time, they found another spot on each other that yearned for exploration. Nothing was ever the same or routine. It could never be as routine as brushing one's teeth. They would never let it.

"Sully," she whispered, her eyes closing as she pulled him close, feeling his weight against her. She lifted a knee, letting him settle between her legs. She lifted to the side a little, knowing he was worried about the baby. They were wrapped up in one another, holding each other, waiting for the last possible moment to join.

His mouth found her neck again, as his fingers explored the place that waited for him and ached for his touch. She gasped, biting her lip as he touched her and sent new fires from his fingers to her core, burning up every reservation she had ever had in her entire life. She loved the way he could do that to her—make her feel like this was all that mattered for these few minutes. The entire world disappeared, and the flames seemed to surround them and protect them.

"Michaela," he breathed as her hands grazed over his thighs, pulling him closer. She opened herself up to him, and she reached for the hand that was already pleasuring her. Her hand fit over his for a moment, and his eyes locked onto hers. Her cheeks blushed deep with crimson, and he smiled, bringing his lips to hers again.

"I need you," she breathed, her breath mixing with his.

"I need you," he echoed, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips before she opened up to him again. The passion grew like the flames that burned inside each of them. Each breath was a labor of love, for they held each other so tight that breathing didn't seem to matter anymore. They lived off of one another, and as Sully began to guide himself inside of her, breathing resumed, and air rushed back to their lungs.

Michaela gasped, feeling her body accommodate him. She raised her hips, taking him in fully, feeling him pulsating inside of her like another heartbeat. They were one, as they were meant to be.

His hand moved to cup her breast, as he began his initial movements inside of her, being gentle and patient, waiting for her to give him the go ahead. Her face was flushed, her eyes glazed with love and need and passion. She bit her lip, as he ran his tongue over her nipple, softly nipping at her but loving and kneading her at the same time. He sweetly tortured her other breast in the same way, and she slowly tilted her head back, feeling his lips moving lower.

"Sully," she gasped as her body began to tremble, her nails lightly raking at the flesh on his back. His thumb flicked over her most sensitive nerves, and she gasped again. He was fighting to hold on, and their mouths met again, dancing to the rhythm of their own bodies. He moaned as her legs encircled his waist, her toes curling to try to hold on. She groaned softly as her core trembled, and he touched her again. She shut her eyes tightly and arched her back, the breath leaving her lungs, as pleasure made her soar.

Sully groaned something indistinguishable into Michaela's shoulder, as his thrusts grew deeper, stronger, faster. He was quickly finding his release, and when he began to stroke her again, he knew she was quickly finding her own once again.

"Oh…" she crooned, as he pulled her body against his, her nipples grazing against his sweating chest. Michaela flashed back to their wedding night. They'd been so innocent and naïve, and now here they were a few months later, almost experts about each other and what to do to please one another. He called her name again, but she didn't hear it, because as she found her final release, he found his, and she felt his body shudder against hers as new life poured into him and flowed into her.

She held him inside of her for just a while longer, not wanting to lose the connection, but in her heart knowing that they never would. Finally, he pulled away and rested upon his back. She rolled to her side, staring at him, watching his chest rise and fall as his body reacted to the coolness and stillness of the room. She smiled, biting her lip and tracing her fingers over his biceps and up his shoulder. He chuckled, out of breath. Was she trying to kill him?

"Michaela, ya keep doin' that, and…"

"And?" she teased, moving to kiss his ear, his cheek, his lips and his chin. She moved back to his lips, slowly rolling to lie atop him. They chuckled together, and his hands caressed her backside and moved up to encircle her still tiny waist. "Your hands are warm."

"They ain't the only things," he replied. She flushed and kissed him again, her hair draping over his face. She sighed happily and finally curled up on top of him, resting her chin on his chest. Her eyes stared into his, studying him and smiling. "What?"

"You're beautiful," she said softly. He laughed a little and tiredly shook his head.

"Don't hear that too much."

"It's true," she replied. "You're a very beautiful person." Her hand rested above his heart.

"Nothin' compared to you." A wicked grin appeared on his face, and he gently captured her in his arms, and he flipped her onto her back. She squealed with laughter as his hands began to explore her again. His fingertips were ticklish, and she squirmed under him.

"Sully!" she shrieked. "Sully!" She gasped for breath again, and soon, their laughter was silent, and they were drawing one another in again, listening to the silent music that guided their bodies and brought them to new levels of pleasure and completion. This was like a blissful dream, and they didn't want to wake up.

"Where are we?" Brian asked as the wagon creaked to a stop in a wooded area.

"I ain't sure, but we're makin' camp here for the night." He unhitched the horses and tied them up for the night, as Colleen and Brian set up camp. They were silent and tired, and Matthew was alert, watching every movement around, from the rustling trees to the twinkling stars. As he gathered wood for a fire, he kept an eye on his younger siblings. He knew he would do anything for them. He would die for them. He had fought so hard to get them this far, and he had to get them to Colorado Springs. He couldn't let them down, though he had a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't help but feel that perhaps he would be letting Katie down if he didn't let her stay with Michaela and Sully. What kind of life could he give her, when he was scrambling for pennies on a day-to-day basis? They couldn't keep traveling and living like this forever. They were going to have to settle down somewhere, so he could get a job. In his mind, he knew he couldn't raise a family. He was about to turn sixteen, and he had no job, no house…no anything. All they had was each other, which was all well and good, but it couldn't keep food in their mouths or clothes on their backs.

"Stars sure are bright tonight," Brian said softly, moving toward Matthew to help him gather firewood.

"Sure are, little brother," he said quietly.

"We gonna be in Colorado Springs soon?"

"Soon," Matthew promised.

"How soon?" Colleen asked, walking over.

"By the end of the week, I hope."

"You really wanna take Katie away from Dr. Mike?" Brian asked.

"Katie ain't hers to take. We're her family. Her blood. She ain't livin' with no strangers."

"But, Dr. Mike ain't a stranger," Brian replied. "She took care of Ma. She was real nice to me. She took good care of Katie when Pa wouldn't."

"And I'm grateful, but she ain't Katie's family. We are, and family's gotta stick together. Right, Colleen?" Colleen looked away. "Colleen? C'mon, talk some sense into him."

"Sorry, Matthew. I ain't sure we're doin' the right thing." Matthew suddenly let the firewood drop from his arms.

"Listen to yourselves. You're givin' up on our little sister just like that?"

"'Course we're not!" Colleen exclaimed. "But you should be old enough to know that havin' a warm bed to sleep in and somethin' to eat every day is what she needs. She needs a ma and a pa, and we ain't got that. Dr. Mike's a real nice lady, and I'm sure her husband is a good man."

"Yeah," Brian spoke up. "I'm sure they'll let us see her whenever we want."

"Don't be so sure."

"But I trust her. She's real nice."

"Ya can't trust folks ya don't know," Matthew said quietly. Colleen took Brian's hand and glared at her brother.

"What happened to ya? Ya didn't used to be like this."

"I grew up," he replied. He clenched his fists, as he bent to pick up the wood he'd dropped. He had had to. He was the man of the house now, and he had to take charge. He was doing things that most boys his age shouldn't have to do for a few more years, but he knew he wasn't the first young man in the world to have to carefor his little brother and sister. "I'm gonna keep us together. I ain't gonna abandon none of my family. I ain't gonna do what Pa did."

"Do you think Andrew is settled in over at the clinic?"

"I'm sure he is," Lydia said with a smile, pulling her hair into a braid and tying it off at the end. She turned toward the bed and slowly slipped between the sheets. "I'll be glad when I can move around without having this gigantic stomach in front of me."

"You're beautiful," Albert replied, grinning as he pulled his arms around her and stroked her belly.

"Sure, you say that now. Just wait a couple more months." Albert laughed and softly kissed her.

"I'll think you're going to be beautiful forever." Lydia sighed a little tracing patterns on her bulging belly.

"I can't help but feel a little guilty. Here we are about to become parents, and Abagail will never be able to experience it. It's so sad," she whispered. "I've seen plenty of women go through it, and in extreme cases, they've become so withdrawn from society, thinking people don't see them as complete women. I hope that isn't the case for Abagail. She's a smart young woman, and she deserves to have a good life. I only hope Martin is strong enough to stay by her side." She looked into his eyes. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Only if you mean it, tell me that you'd stay with me no matter what." A smile crawled over his face, and he nodded.

"From the bottom of my heart, I promise that I'll stay with you no matter what."

"You really mean it?" she asked, playing lightly with the curls at the back of his neck.

"Really." He placed his hands on her belly again, feeling the baby kick. "He's strong."

"Or she," Lydia reminded him. She kissed his forehead. "What do you want? A boy, I presume?"

"It doesn't really matter. I just hope it takes after you." Lydia looked away and rolled to her side, tears beginning to ebb. He sighed and propped himself upon his elbow. Lydia's hand worriedly moved to her stomach, and Albert placed his hand over hers.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know," she replied. "But I worry about it enough. I wonder if it'll look like me or like David. I don't want to stare into this child's eyes and see David everyday."

"I bet you won't have to. I bet this baby will have your eyes. If she's a girl, I bet she will." Lydia smiled.

"Whatever this baby turns out to be, I know it's strong."

"Then it's already like you. You're the strong one, Lydia. We know David wasn't strong. Nothing about him was strong, except perhaps his obsessions." Lydia nodded.

"I know. I keep telling myself that, but it's difficult." Albert nodded and squeezed her hand.

"Don't worry. In a couple of months, our baby will be here, and he or she will look and be just like you. Don't think about the bad things, Lydia. No matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you or this baby. Our baby."