AN: Personally, I have nothing against Kaien, but I wanted an unconventional bad guy to play a role here, so anyway yeah :-) hehe

Relevant notes: the suffix "-dono" is about the highest form of respect possible to a single person, because it derives from the word "tono" which means "lord."

This fic is rated R because of language, violence, and sensuality. If any of the aforementioned offends you, please do not read.

WARNING: THERE IS SEMI-GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE, SEX, AND COARSE LANGUAGE IN THIS CHAPTER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Review if you like. No flames, please.

kaerichi
Chapter 10

Ever since that night with the fire, Rukia had found it hard to hold down the memories that surfaced every so now and then. It was like ripples – drop a pebble in a lake, so small the pebble could be, but the ripples that spread would soon become more and more and more until it was nearly overwhelming.

She blamed it on the fire. It was something that she so rarely had encountered in her life that the one time she did, it brought up all sorts of unpleasant memories that she would have been better without.

Sitting on the ground, she absently thumbed through a new book that Ichigo had brought her. He hadn't even had time to talk to her yesterday. All he'd done was drop the books off and apologize with a "Sorry, but the trials are getting complicated because of under-qualified people applying, and Shihouin was thinking of making them harder to pass so that they'll stop getting offed so quickly…so anyway, you probably don't get any of this, but I might not see you at all today." He looked genuinely chagrined at the thought.

There was nothing to be done about it.

"What do you mean, nothing can be done? Anything that's a fuckin' problem always has a solution. It doesn't matter who has to give or what has to be given; everything has a solution. Don't just sit there like a useless bitch!"

Rukia nearly jumped up. The voice was so strong in her mind. It was hard to imagine that the speaker hadn't been sitting right across from her, instead of the line playing across her mind like a bad film.

She tried relaxing against the wall, but no; the words had made her jumpy and disinclined to sit still. So she got up and began pacing around her small circular cage like a lion on display at the zoo. After she'd walked around for what must have been at least fifty times, Rukia stopped. Suddenly she was angry with herself.

When was the last time I let that fuckbag's words affect me? she thought, angrily pushing a lock of hair back. I pushed him out of my mind all this time, and after just a little fire the memories think they can return? I don't think so.

And so, to purposely prove to herself that she was not quailing to these new memories, Rukia sat down with a huff and tried to relax. And it worked, somewhat. As she leaned against the side and closed her eyes, not really intending to sleep, somehow it found her anyway and carried her off into dreams.

The first dream was pleasant, obscure, and safe. That was all she knew, but Rukia liked safe dreams to all others.

The second dream was about the fire.

It was about the fire and she was there, surrounded by the flames again, though the temperature was merely warm. And suddenly it was parting, a dark figure was walking through...she thought she recognized that hair and called out hopefully, "Ichigo?"

But her blood turned to ice.

Kaien walked through the flame, laughing, mocking her. "…hah, what's this? Forgotten your master's name already?"

"No...no..." she said, backing away. But as it always does in dreams, he seemed to approach two steps for every one of hers she took in the opposite direction, gliding along the flaming floor. "No...you're DEAD!"

"Am I?" the form said. Hands spread out to his sides. "I look okay to me."

She tripped over something, falling back on her butt as she still tried to back away from him as he drew ever closer. He came so close, until he was right by her and had kneeled down in front of her. His hand came out to hold her face. His fingers were icy cold.

"Hey, Rukia-chan…" he whispered, and she shuddered, "you can't have really forgotten me, can you? Have you forgotten what you owe me? Have you forgotten that I am still, and will always be, your only master?"

"Get away from me!" she shouted, twisting her head away. "You aren't my master any longer! I killed you! Get away from me you sick, twisted fucking bastard! I don't owe you a goddamn fucking thing!"

"Oh...really, Rukia-chan? Pity..." the apparition said, and he took her face again and turned it to his, and he was just centimeters away, as though he was going to kiss her…and smother her and make her bleed...

The memories...oh god, the memories...

Rukia must have been more awake than asleep by then, if she could acutely recall all the memories that suddenly flashed into her conscious, the ones that she hadn't been aware had still been there. They had been pushed back so long that she'd never taken inventory.

"Come on, bitch! You don't think I turned you just so you could stand there, did you? You're a fucking vampire now! The night is ours! Spread your damn wings or I'll break them!"

She hadn't wanted to jump off that building, and he'd known it…

He laughed, pinning her against the sheets while she struggled. "Oh yeah...and I turned you for some...other things as well," he laughed again, and her insides froze; it was so cruel and self-satisfied that she felt sick from her loathing.

That had been the beginning...

"Come on, beg me!" he said, laughing hysterically at her face.

She didn't want it...never wanted it...

"Oh, dear Rukia-chan, your expression is the sweetest thing I've ever seen," she heard him say, but she doubted she'd be able to see much through the tears that were falling like rain from her eyes. "It is so utterly...delectable." And he touched her again she just kept crying, for there was nothing else she could do.

No, no, no...

She would just lie there as night after night after night he would come, sometimes gentle, sometimes abusive, but most times simply dominating, taking her body with effortless ease. The red-hot strip of pain that shot up with his every movement was enough to make her lie still and wait it out, feeling the slippery sheen of sweat and the crushing weight of his body.

She was – had been – nothing.

He would come and do anything he pleased, for he was her master and the one who had turned her, and she could do nothing.

"Rukia-chan…" he whispered, as his hand slid up her back, his lips at hers, pressing with such an intensity that he cut her lip, "Rukia-chan…my darling Rukia-chan…to whom I am your only master…call me 'Kaien-dono.' Come on, bitch, say it." And she would reply, because she was weak, and was afraid.

"That's right, Rukia-chan, Kaien-dono…Rukia-chan…Rukia-cha…Rukia…Rukia…Rukia!"

Her eyes flew open.

No! Kaien-dono!

"Please don't touch me, Kaien-dono!" she cried, striking him across the face and sending him flying into the glass a few feet away. The fear was so real that she truly did believe it was him in the cell with her; she huddled in her robe as far away from him as possible and hid her face in her hands. She couldn't face her memories, not again!

She was still so weak. She had to be. She still dreamt of him, still – yes, she knew it now – still feared him, even after he had died so long ago and she had killed him with her bare hands. He'd been her first kill, ever.

Kaien…that fucking bastard Kaien… she thought, as she felt the unbidden tears come to her eyes. Even in death he won't leave me alone…

"Rukia!"

She heard the voice.

Ichigo?

"Rukia! What's the matter? Are you hurt? Are you okay? Rukia!"

It had been Ichigo. Too blind from fear, she had struck at the one person who physically resembled Kaien the most. She shook her head, not looking up from where she had her face buried in her robe sleeves, because they were covering her hands.

She was trembling, and crying, and a mess, like so long ago…all because of him.

Ichigo had felt something amiss in his stomach the moment he'd stepped into the room. And maybe he was just being paranoid, but all that day he'd been feeling as if something was wrong – like the way one would feel when they knew they had to remember to do something but couldn't remember what it was.

"Rukia?" he called out as soon as the door opened.

He saw her. She appeared to be sleeping, but Ichigo noticed that it seemed far from peaceful – her face was twisted in what seemed fear or panic, she was twisting from side to side, and every so often a noise that sounded desperately like a whimper would escape.

"No…no…" she was saying. "Please…Ka – Kai…"

Kai? Who's Kai?

"No…no…" she kept saying, causing Ichigo to notice that she was becoming more and more agitated, trying to escape something only in her dreams. "No please, don't…"

Whatever she was dreaming about, it sounded pretty bad, if Rukia herself would have to resort to begging. He undid the control panels that locked the door and climbed in. Rukia twisted from side to side, and now he was really getting worried: he spotted two tears streaking down the side of her face like liquid silver, curving the line of her cheek.

"Rukia! Oi, Rukia! Wake up! Rukia! Rukia!"

He grabbed her shoulder and shook it, but she might have been a mannequin for all the good that it did. Now he was getting worried. "Rukia! Rukia! Wake up, Rukia! It isn't real! Rukia! Rukia!"

And then her beautiful eyes snapped open to his, and in that one millisecond, something so close to terror dawned on her face that his breath caught from the shock. And then before he could even react, she had struck him across the face. The blow was hard and he reeled.

He sat up slowly, trying to ease the pounding of his head that had been caused when he struck the glass cell wall. And then suddenly, he saw that he was not the one hurting; Rukia was huddled against the far wall and looked so pitiful that his heart went out to her.

Suddenly he remembered what she'd said.

"Please don't touch me, Kaien-dono!"

Kaien-dono? Why would she add the respectful title to someone's name, someone who Rukia obviously had not wanted to touch her…? His mouth twisted as sheer, livid fury darkened his countenance, the meaning becoming clear.

But he pushed it down. She did not need more fear.

"Rukia?"

She didn't respond, and he wondered if she even heard him.

"Rukia? What's the matter? Are you hurt? Are you okay? Rukia!" He approached, and wondered if he should touch her. She might hit him again.

But then he kept watching her, and knew that she needed to be reassured more than anything. He put out his hand and laid it calmly on her back, stroking in long, sweeping lines, and before he knew it both hands were helping Rukia to turn to him, embracing her in a hug so tight that her crying was muffled in his shirt. She did not reject him; he sat with his back to the glass as she fit so perfectly in the crook of his shoulder.

What the hell had happened?

Too naïve to understand. That's what she'd been. And too afraid to fight back.

At first.

And then Rukia learned the power of her aura, the power of her mind, and most of all, that was not just his little personal fuck toy that Kaien could call with a beckon of his finger. She had a mind of her own, and damn it she wasn't going to let it rot away to waste.

But the comfort of Ichigo's touch and nearness was soothing as she relaxed in his embrace, easing away at her keyed nerves.

Her tears slowed, but she didn't want to move…because it had been so long since anyone had made her feel so protected as Ichigo did in that one moment…

He let her quiet.

"Hey…Rukia…?"

She said nothing, but her head moved slightly.

"You okay?"

A barely imperceptible nod was all the answer he received.

"If I…if it's not…" Ichigo paused, wondering what he was trying to say, "if it's okay, tell me…who's Kai? I heard you...you were talking in your sleep."

Rukia was silent for so long that he was beginning to think that she wasn't going to answer his question. He let a minute slide by, and had opened his mouth to speak before Rukia said softly, "…Kaien."

"Kaien?"

"Not Kai, Kaien."

"Kaien. Who's he?"

Ichigo could sense immediately that it was a touchy subject when she failed to answer him directly, and let the pause steep into still silence. But finally, with her head still against his chest, Rukia whispered, "He was the vampire who…turned me."

"Turned you into a vampire?"

"Yes."

"Does he hurt you? You looked like you were having a nightmare."

"He used to."

"Used to?"

"He died."

"Died?"

"I killed him."

"You did?" Ichigo looked at her with some surprise. Somehow, he could never imagine her killing. She had never demonstrated anything even remotely close to the bloodlust he'd seen in other vampires. "How? And…why?"

"…because I hated him." He looked down again, and noticed that Rukia, in the circle of his arms, was suddenly trying to blink back more tears from her eyes. "I hated him so much," she whispered. "When the chance came to kill him, I did it. He was the first person I'd ever killed. I hated him so much…I hated him so much…"

They were quiet.

"Did he ever…touch you?" Ichigo asked, in a voice as quiet as hers. Maybe he should not have asked that question, but it was killing him inside to think that someone had ever laid a hand on Rukia against her will. Sexually, and perhaps abusively.

This time, he expected the silence that followed.

"Yes…he did."

Ichigo drew her closer, tighter.

"…I'm sorry."

"…he would always come," she said. "No matter what I said or did, he would always come when he wanted, and I…it wasn't until that day…that day I killed him, it was the first time I'd ever acted out. Before then, I was too…" She trailed off, but Ichigo thought he could fill the gap.

"Scared?"

"Yes."

"Powerless?"

"Yes."

"…weak?"

"Yes."

"…alone?"

"…that too."

"…but, you ended up killing him after all. And you are of leader status. So you must be powerful."

"I…Kaien was the original first-seat representative of Japan, of the leader division. But there's a tradition in vampire society, that when someone of the leader division is killed or defeated in a battle challenge, the victor is entitled to take their place."

"Ah, I see…that's so the leader division is of only the strongest."

"Yes…I killed him in his house, and it…caught fire…that was because Kaien liked human liquor, and we fought in his house, and he was going to kill me…I dodged the blow. And then…"

"Hey girl, Rukia-chan…" Kaien hissed, as he came closer, with their fire a distance away. She was already bleeding from the force of his aura cutting at hers, that and having been cut by numerous shards of shattered glass, but she hardly noticed the wounds.

"You thought you could kill me? I don't think so. I'm the most powerful vampire in Japan; you don't understand a fucking thing about power."

"You aren't the most powerful, Yamamoto Genryuusai-san is!" she shouted back at him, adrenaline burning foolish courage into her heart. "You're just a fake! Yamamoto-san could kick your ass any day, and you know it!"

"Why you…" And he was about to complete his sentence, a rafter of his house fell through, but he didn't notice and dashed forward with his superhuman speed. His hand was aimed at her heart, prepared to pierce through her chest…

But she moved, faster than she ever had in her life, and dodged his shot; she blindly thrust her hand at his heart. And something warm, wet, enveloped her hand…it was then she realized that Kaien was slumping on her. All she felt was the sudden shock. She had actually managed to pierce his chest, through his heart. And in that moment she knew he would die. No vampire could heal fast enough to repair a stabbed heart.

She backed away, partly horrified and partly exulted at her victory, looking at her hand coated with blood to the elbow…

"Rukia-chan..." He was on the ground , bleeding , face up to hers... "hey, wait…don't leave…you owe me, save me, Rukia-chan…you know you don't want…me to die…Rukia-chan…"

Sickened at his words, her feet turned slowly, and her wings spread slowly, but she ran out of that burning house and escaped her tormentor forever. It all happened so quickly that there wasn't even time for regret.

And mercifully, no time to cry.

"…and then, I killed him. As simple as that."

Ichigo said nothing in return, just held her closer, as close as he could without the embrace becoming painful.

"Well, Kurosaki-kun? What is your report? Have you learned anything new from the vampire?"

Ichimaru leaned forward as he clasped his hands together, in a gesture that resembled a prayer but was probably the farthest from it. At that angle, the light cast a shadow over him, making his pale, long face even more eerie. Yoruichi sat off to the side, silent as she always was, because Ichimaru said everything for the two of them.

Ichigo swallowed, though not in nervousness.

His mouth opened.

"…no, Ichimaru-san. Nothing."

His hand clenched, though no one could see that.

"…I have learned nothing new at all."

tsuzuku