Thank you all for reviewing. I'm constantly amazed by the amount of people dissecting this story to a science...well...it's not supposed to be that serious...and all plotholes found will be laughed at! lol! For those of you who're enjoying the story (plotholes and all)...well, that makes me happy. :-) All of you reviewers out there are SUPER! Sad to say I'm falling out of Bleach mode at the moment in favor of other sudden interests (coughHarryPottercough); but never fear, it won't affect updates, because I finished this fic before the first chapter was up.

"gaki-dono" – literally, Lord Brat

This fic is rated R because of language, violence, and sensuality. If any of the aforementioned offends you, please do not read.

Review if you like. No flames, please.

kaerichi
Chapter 12

The next day – or night – after Rukia's breakdown continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. Rukia was just a little more subdued, Ichigo a little more understanding, but other than that it was a normal night. A perfectly normal night.

He came to her cell, and they talked.

"Hey."

Looking up from her book, she replied in kind. "Good evening."

"How do you know it's evening?"

"I just know," she shrugged.

Coming over to her quietly, he noticed that she still had the same book in her hands that she'd been reading the past few days. "So…that book interesting?"

"This one? I…I don't know. I haven't really been reading it."

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. "Rukia…" Almost automatically, his hand came up to touch hers, in a gesture of comfort. Apparently she hadn't noticed it, for as soon as his skin touched hers, she flinched like it had been an electrical shock. And then she had to tear her eyes away from his. However, he saw what she hadn't wanted him to see.

Fear. Of him.

"Rukia, what…?"

"It's nothing," she said. "Nothing."

At this close up, he could see what that nightmare had done to her and her state of mind. Now, she looked tired again, like she had been when she first came, and there was no lively spark to her eye. It was just a blank violet. In addition, her eyes never met his, not any one time when they were supposed to.

It kind of reminded him of Orihime, the talk he'd had with her just before coming down to sector 13-1…

"Inoue?"

"Aa…Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime fidgeted with her hands, an action Ichigo found very strange (as it was most unprofessional of someone of her position). In addition, her eyes were on the ground, never meeting his like they normally would have in general talking.

"Inoue, is something wrong?"

"No…well, that is…you see…I'm the security manager, and…"

"I know that."

"And you know…we have cameras set up all over the place, right…?" She was playing with her fingers, and Ichigo noticed, to some surprise, that she was blushing. "We have cameras in almost every room, like…the kitchen, the Training grounds…in our…detainment sectors…" She trailed off, and then her eyes timidly came up to meet his. "You know…"

"Inoue, what has this…oh." Suddenly it all made sense to him. Cameras in every room, especially on his vampire…his embrace of her yesterday…her crying into his shoulder…

"That…that was…" Ichigo stammered, "…she – the vampire – was upset, and I…eh…"

"It's all right, Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime said in a hurry, "I mean, I didn't tell anyone…well, except for one person," she added the last part very quietly, and Ichigo didn't hear, "and of course I'm not going to, and I was the only one who saw because I switched the screens before anybody else could see…and I was…eh…wondering…why…?"

Ichigo stood looking at her for a minute more before his mouth opened. "Inoue…"

"You...never mind, you don't have to explain yourself. It's okay, Kurosaki-kun, I shouldn't pry into them. It's okay, really."

"…thanks, Inoue," he said, a little uncertainly. "And…could you not tell anyone else?"

"Of course I won't," she said.

It was a lucky thing none of the security cameras were advanced enough to include audio.

"Maybe…today…maybe you want me to change the camera screens again?" she asked him, hesitantly, and he saw in her eyes that she had a pretty thorough concept for understanding a situation…well, coming from someone who regularly acted like a ditz. "I could change them until you tell me it's okay, if you want me to."

He was the one who couldn't meet her eyes then.

"Yeah…thanks…Orihime."

She smiled.

"No problem…Ichigo."

And that had been that. So now, he could talk to Rukia without fear of being watched like they had been the other day, when he'd completely forgotten about the cameras in the room and had only thought of Rukia.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked her, noticing that she seemed more tired than usual, and still trying to keep eye contact away from him.

"Yes, I'm…fine," she said.

He couldn't understand why she was being so distant. Sure, the other day, she had displayed weakness to him, but it wasn't warranting the avoided contact and that unmistakable flinch from his touch. And if she was worried about the weakness then she would appear angry, not defeated. So what the hell was going on?

And it was bothering him that she couldn't look at him the way she used to.

"Rukia…you…" he sighed. There was really nothing for him to say. "Well, you look tired. You should get some sleep, and I…I should return to my duties."

"Yes, see you later…" Rukia said, and her eyes only caught his once before turning back to the book…the book she was reading, even though her eyes never moved and her hands never flipped a page. Ichigo noticed all these little things, but made no comment.

The next day was the same. Rukia couldn't look him in the eye, shied away from his touch, and he was confused as to hell as to what was going on. She took blood from him, but that was about it.

It was beginning to irk him to a point where he could no longer keep silent about it. On his third day, the day he actually had nothing to do, he came to her again.

"So, what's up?" he asked her, as he came to sit down next to her. Her position had moved very little in all the days he had come, all the days following her…confession…of sorts.

"Nothing," she said, her eyes glued to the book.

"What are you reading?"

"Just…eh…a book about…an art thief."

"Really? Is it interesting?"

"Yeah, it's okay…"

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, I do…"

"How's the plot?"

"It's…interesting."

"A page-turner?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Damn it, Rukia!" Ichigo suddenly exploded, causing her face to turn towards his for a fraction of a second before quickly turning away. But he would have none of that; his hands caught each side of her face and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Just what the fuck is up with you lately, Rukia?" he yelled. "You don't look at me, you're flinching every goddamn time I touch you, you talk in this listless voice about things that normally would have interested you…what is going on with you?"

"It's…it's nothing," she said, but now she was looking into his eyes, and he could see the lie. "Really, it's nothing important!"

"My ass it's nothing important," he said angrily. "You haven't been yourself lately. What's wrong with you? Stop lying to me, because I know you are, and I am going to make you tell me what it is even if I have to shake the truth out of you !"

"It's nothing," she said, but Ichigo noticed the way her fine eyebrows upturned, how her blank violet eyes were becoming glassy with emotion, how she was looking at him – really looking at him – for the first time in days.

"Rukia…" he said, softly this time. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"It's…just…" Her eyes turned to the side, and Ichigo let go of her face. "Ichigo, did you know that…that…you look a lot like…him?"

"Like who?" They were sitting side-by-side, backs against the glass cell. He studied her face carefully. Her skin was still pale, her lashes still dark, her form still slim. The contrast, even now, created that unearthly waiflike effect on him – delicate, casual in perfection , beauty with the fragility of glass that needed to be protected. The first time he'd noticed that, Ichigo had thought how alive, how human – how non-vampiric – it made her look. That moment struck at him now harder than ever.

"Like…"

"Like who?"

"Like…Kaien," she whispered haltingly.

The moment seemed to be stuck in a freeze-frame. "You mean…I look a lot like Kaien?"

He regretted the stress on the name the moment Rukia flinched. However, he was in too much shock to do anything about it.

"Yes."

"But…how?"

"Just…physically…I mean, you aren't identical…he had black hair and darker eyes, and he was taller than you…but you look alike, kind of…"

"So you mean, I look like this Kaien bastard, and that's why you've been ignoring me."

"No, well…yes, kind of…"

"Why didn't this happen before?" His voice was calm, controlled, and it betrayed little of the fury he was really feeling.

"I…I did see you as Ka – Kaien before, but it went away, and then…the fire, and then I started remembering…"

"So just because you remember this Kaien bastard you automatically compared him to me."

"Ichigo–"

"You always saw me as Kaien, didn't you?"

"I didn't say that!" Rukia's voice was beginning to rise.

"Yes you did! That's why you've been avoiding me!" Ichigo stood up, mind beyond feeling shock. He was angry, he was furious…and, he realized, he felt hurt. This was more than looking like someone who was killed, it was that Rukia was the one seeing him this way…and that hurt, in the hidden part of his heart Ichigo usually kept reserved for those he genuinely cared about.

"I didn't want to avoid you, and I didn't mean for it to happen like this!"

"So even though you see me as Kaien, you didn't want to avoid me?"

"This isn't my fault, you know! I just can't command myself to stop seeing you as him!" Rukia said. She stood up as well, shakily, while Ichigo paced back and forth in the small circular cell. "Ichigo, stop it! You do look a lot like him but I didn't say because of that you automatically were! Ichigo, are you listening to me? I–"

Reaching for his arm, Rukia was cut off as Ichigo did the most unexpected thing.

He kissed her.

Encircling his arms around her small frame, he kissed her, fleetingly.

They broke away, still close, Ichigo panting from the adrenaline and Rukia looking up at him with her violet eyes, mouth slightly parted. They were still so close, his lips could have brushed hers again if he spoke.

He pulled back a little and swallowed. "Was that like Kaien?" he asked fiercely, breathlessly. "You say I look like him, do I act like him, do I kiss like him too? Am I Kaien in every way? Am I like that fucking bastard in every way?"

"Ichigo, no, I…I didn't say that…I…"

But he didn't want to hear her excuses; he had kissed her, she was not refusing him, and in some part of his mind Ichigo realized he had waited too long to do what he had already done, and that, like a drug, he only wanted more.

He kissed her again, her soft lips under his, and she had wound her arms back around him. Her mouth parted for his as he bit at her lower lip, tongues intermingling, and he was pleasantly surprised to find that her mouth was warm, not cold like everybody said vampires were.

This was quickly growing past anything he had ever expected, but he just couldn't stop himself…as he gently sucked on her lip, hands roaming, reaching up to cup the back of her neck and open her mouth to him further…

"Ichigo…" Rukia said, sounding as breathless as he felt – even though she didn't need to breathe. "Ichigo…"

He pulled his face away from hers. "Rukia…"

She was still in his embrace, he noticed, even though he was crushing her to him, the entire front of her body molded against his. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, and it was this notice of returned embrace did Ichigo think that this might not turn out so awkward.

But for the moment, all he could do was stare in her eyes. Far from trying to hide from his gaze, now she returned it, almost unblinkingly, lips slightly pink and looking thoroughly kissed.

They were forehead-to-forehead. "Ichigo…" Rukia said softly, "what just happened?"

"I have no idea," he replied. He closed his eyes.

"Are you calmer now?"

That stung, just a little, but he knew it wasn't undeserved.

"Yeah."

She reached up to gently kiss the edge of his lips, and he opened his eyes to look at her again.

"You know…I really don't know what to say," he confessed, looking a bit uncertain, hand inadvertently stroking her back again.

"Don't worry, neither do I," she said, smiling. And then he started smiling too.

"You aren't Kaien…" she said softly. "I know you aren't Kaien, and yet sometimes the image of his is so strong that I…I don't know…it's not like I want to see you as him. And there were the times I saw you as just Ichigo…"

Ichigo said nothing, just brought her closer to breathe in her scent. Vampires were supposed to be cold and dead, but Rukia was so warm…and she had a scent. Placing his nose in her hair, Ichigo closed his eyes and just stood there. He must have been out of his mind to stand there, embracing what had been his enemy, but he did.

"So, just what happened that night in the fire? I never really did get what went on, other than the fact that the vampires attacked us."

"I really don't know that myself. I…it wasn't like there was supposed to be any kind of rescue mission implemented for the captured. Normally vampires don't care about the ones who get captured, because we know they'll most likely end up dead anyway."

"Eh, yeah…"

The two of them were relaxing against the glass door, and earlier, in a striking twist of intimacy, Ichigo's hand had snaked around her waist to pull her to him. And so they sat like that, with she leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Maybe because you're special."

"Special? In what way? I only have strange wings."

"And weird eyes."

"I do not have weird eyes!"

"Yes you do. No normal Japanese person has eyes like yours."

"I could say the same for your hair," she grumbled.

"Can't help. From my mother's side."

"Oh yeah, she was the one who ran away with your father, right?"

"Well," he scratched his cheek, "I guess you could say that, though I would have said 'eloped.'"

"So where are your parents now?"

It was such an innocent question, but when Ichigo didn't answer her immediately, Rukia glanced at him. She lifted her head from his shoulder. "Ichigo?"

"Nah, it's okay…I got over it. She…my mother…" he took in a breath, "…my mother's dead."

"She died? What about your father?"

"Yeah…my father's fine, but my mother…she was killed by a vampire."

Rukia just stared at him in understanding for a while, and then looked down. "O – oh, I see." And she actually made to pull away from him before his hand tightened around her waist, and he pulled her back to him.

"No, like I said, it's all right…I put it behind me already."

"You're a horrible liar," Rukia said quietly.

"Heh…I'm working at it."

"…I'm sorry about your mother."

"Yeah…"

"…what happened?"

"You know, that's another thing I don't really know. I was fifteen at the time, and my family…we were taking a walk. And out of nowhere this vampire just jumped out, towards me, and my mother protected me. And she died. The bloodsucker drained her dry." There was a hard, cruel edge to his voice that made Rukia look at him in wonder; she had rarely heard him speak in such a tone.

"The next few years were the worst of my life, ever. I was so bent on revenge that it completely destroyed any chance of a normal childhood. I started searching for that vampire without stop. My family suffered, my grades suffered, everything did. Because I did everything I could to find that vampire…drugs, sex, alcohol, gangs…everything. Almost murder."

"You did?"

"Yeah, and it paid off, almost two years to the date. Cornered the bloodsucker, fought him, killed him so easily it surprised even me. I guess I must have caught the eyes of some hunters, 'cause they recruited me that night, put me in Training for a year, and I've been hunting ever since. Even got my family in it too."

"So that means…you're…eighteen? Nineteen?"

"Twenty."

Rukia sighed and turned her face into the crook of his neck and shoulder. "I'm sorry about your family."

"Yeah…me too. But it's okay now."

She noticed his hand tightened exponentially around her waist as he said that.

He was definitely out of his mind. He was so out of his fucking mind.

It was the only reasonable explanation he had.

"Ichigo…" Rukia whispered as he broke off the kiss. She was so warm, so warm. "Are you sure, I mean…cameras…?"

"There are none," he whispered back sharply, stroking the skin of her cheek and pulling her face closer.

Ichigo had to be satisfied with just that. Touching her face made him want to touch her more…but that was something that he just could not do.

"Don't worry about it…" And his lips were on hers again, and she was kissing him back, and he couldn't care about anything else when she was so close.

He was so out of his mind.

"Can you see something, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"Yeah…way down. I mean, way down. Maybe four or five stories…I think…my eyes don't go that far."

"See anything else, gaki-dono?"

"Renji, I already stated my limits."

"Well, excuse me, Mr. I've-got-laser-vision Hitsugaya. So sorry that not all of us are blessed with special abilities."

"All right, all right, enough of this, you two; are you ready, Abarai-kun?"

"Get on with the damn thing already, Urahara!"

"Ouch! Ouch, that hurt, Abarai-kun…ready, Byakuya-san?"

"Yes."

"Ready, Ukitake-san?"

"Yes, ready, Urahara-san."

"Everybody else okay?"

Murmured assent.

"Good, good…time to strike."

tsuzuku