Remember, "aishiteru" is generally a more serious and deeper way of saying "I love you," than the less formal "suki."
The suffix "-dono" roughly translates to "Lord" and is one of the highest forms of respect possible to pay to a person.

This fic is rated R because of language, violence, and sensuality. If any of the aforementioned offends you, please do not read.

Review if you like. No flames, please.

kaerichi
Chapter 16

She took no notice to their subtle glances at her face, most surprised to see her there unexpected. The other vampires were, most likely, wondering if she were expecting some hailed declaration of her return, but Rukia thought no such thing. Just because she was high up on the food chain didn't mean she was that important, not by her standards.

"Hey, Rukia-chan."

"Hitsugaya," she nodded in his direction. "Good to see you still alive."

"Yeah, you too." His remark carried more weight than hers did, but she barely noticed. "What are you doing back here so early? I thought you asked for a couple of weeks free from duty."

"I did, but…" – but if I didn't work my memories are going to drive me crazy – "…I just felt like getting back into things again."

"Good…that's good," he said, and she was surprised to see that he actually smiled as he said it. Hitsugaya was rarely, truly glad about anything, the least of which she had seen, and from him an actual smile was like a miracle: not very often in forthcoming.

Unnerved and touched just a bit, she replied, "Yeah…so, where's Renji?"

"Abarai? That idiot? I have no idea. Probably sulking in some corner because you haven't been back in a while."

"What was that, honored elder Hitsugaya?" a voice broke into their conversation. Renji came towards them, scowling, but even Rukia could see that he was visibly happier upon seeing her.

"Asshole, you're way late."

"It's only twenty after."

"A massacre occurs in half that time."

Rukia watched them argue and bicker between each other. It was funny, actually, because as Hitsugaya was a member of the elder council, Renji really didn't have the right to contest anything he said. But Hitsugaya was lax that way, and secretly Rukia thought he preferred being challenged than being submissively obeyed sometimes.

She watched them with a peculiar feeling. They were regular vampires, not like her at all…because they never had to go through anything of what she had, and they were turned in the regular way…Rukia's thoughts turned to her mother before she shook her head. No. She'd decided already. She wasn't going to wallow in anything depressing anymore.

"Rukia?"

"It's nothing…say, didn't I hear something about an assignment coming up soon?"

Hitsugaya and Renji exchanged glances. "Yeah."

"Well, what the hell are you two doing around here? Shouldn't you be working? Posting team appointments, scheduling weapons counseling, supervising aura management training...or some mediocre chore or other?" And she folded her arms and gave them her patented I'm-so-superior smirk (which she was able to, her rank being higher than either).

They looked at each other again.

"Rukia-chan, it's good to have you back."

Kurosaki Ichigo was not explicitly known for his brain capacity, not like that of Ishida's or even Ishida's girlfriend Orihime, but among the thirteen captains he was one of the most respected and most people thought it a given that he would, some day, assume captain position of the first unit division. All captains aspired for the prestige, and Ichigo was certainly well qualified. He had abnormally superb reflexes and stamina, a strong sense of justice, an excellent record (as far as why a hunter would hate vampires), and the aptitude for thinking through situations and getting out alive.

However, in the eyes of his unit members, even Ichigo had to admit to himself that he'd been demonstrating none of these characteristics over the past couple of days.

He'd been…distracted. There was no better term for it. People – other hunters – were stopping him all the time to ask him if he was all right, or if he thought he was sick he should go lie down. At first he had fiercely protested but soon grew tired of doing so.

The first time had been during relaxation time, when Ichigo had been in the hunter's den pouring himself some coffee. The coffee had overflowed the mug. It wasn't until someone sputtered out an exclamation did Ichigo notice, and had to spend a couple of minutes cleaning it up.

It wasn't like him to be so absent-minded, and Ichigo hated himself for knowing that he'd been thinking of Rukia, the last time he'd seen someone perform that same action.

The second time had been during a meeting. Ichigo was there with the other eight captains (five positions still had yet to be filled), and Yoruichi was talking about something with the same passion Rukia would have displayed on the subject. He'd looked down at his briefing paper, seeing her as clearly as if she was in front of him…her violet eyes, her perfect lashes, her fair face, her smooth, dark hair…

And then Ishida jammed the heel of his boot into Ichigo's foot.

As it was, the entire table was more surprised by his sudden cursing outburst than they were at his muted silence at Yoruichi's directed question to him.

And so it continued, a little string of unrelated instances in which Ichigo would space out for an undeterminable period of time. It was beginning to worry people, especially after one instance in which he had seen Ise Nanao execute a perfect gymnastic flip during training. It was exactly how Rukia moved, and exactly like how she would have done it. That caused him to forget all about his opponent's sword during a match (captains trained with real blades), which would have then taken a mighty chunk out of his forearm if Ishida hadn't been wise enough to stay his attack.

They thought maybe he was suffering from some self-directed anger in the vampire having escaped. It was well known that Ichigo hated failure above all else, so this reasoning made sense to them. In fact, Matsumoto did bring this up one day, but (remembering that she had a college degree in adult psychology) Ichigo quickly got out of there.

So, in the end, people were left with way more questions than answers. And though his daydreaming had cost them no lives yet, they didn't want it to be a possibility.

At least, this was what Yoruichi told Ichigo, in the gentlest voice possible for her. Only Ichigo could get over whatever inner demons were plaguing him. She, herself, didn't want to have to demote her "favorite" captain.

Ichigo was left frustrated, furious, and most of all, highly confused about why he was thinking about all of these things. He could never get Rukia out of his mind! It was crazy! The last time he had seen her would reply over and over in his head, and there was absolutely nothing he could do, it seemed, to make it stop…

"I love you, Ichigo…do you see? That's why we can't keep going on with this…"

I don't know what to say, or if I'm too late already. Rukia, I want to talk to you. I really want to talk to you. I really want to see you…

He shook his head, and vaguely realized he was a step away from walking into a wall.

"New mission, dangerous one," Yoruichi said, her body leaning over the table. "We need to strike fast now; the vampires know our base, and that never bodes well. We are aiming for the capture and/or assassination of this one vampire, whichever should come first." Her finger pointed down on a page in her manila folder.

Ichigo opened his folder. Ishida's eyes widened.

Of course, it was Rukia.

He missed her. He missed everything about her.

He even went to her apartment, even stayed there for two days, but she never appeared.

Rukia, if I ever meet you in a battle…could I really kill you?

He lay in her beautiful bed, watching the canopy, and feeling the sky darken from orange to black. But it was already time for him to go. He had another mission to run.

Standing up, he let out a breath that seemed to have been held for too long.

Rukia…I want to see you.

"But we know the hunter's base right now! That puts us at a huge advantage!"

"Don't be so sure," Hitsugaya dismissed. "They've known where our base is for years, and they've never made a move on it. We may kill each other, rip each other's throats out, but it's understood that a base is always neutral ground. Don't you know the first rules of hunting etiquette, Abarai-kun?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up. Besides, we attacked their base! Doesn't that kind of tell them we weren't following the "hunting etiquette" rules?" Renji asked sarcastically, growling.

"Look, Abarai, that attack was for Rukia's sake. And they owed us one anyway, back from the 1700s when they attacked us to rescue their then-leader, Unohana Retsu. Ah, the 1700s…" Hitsugaya smirked, "I remember those times. Great, you know? None of this high-tech fire weapons, none of these bombs, no guns, no computers, just one sword between you and death. Our base was a castle, too!" He smirked, seemingly at a memory. "Just too bad Perry had to come along and ruin a perfect reign."

Commodore Matthew Perry…I can't decide if that's good or bad he did come to Japan… Rukia thought silently, as she watched another war of the words between Renji and Hitsugaya.

And she was just about to intervene in their fight (after all, she wanted some peace and quiet) when suddenly a fellow vampire burst through the door. He was wearing a shadowed red cross over white garments, the color of their base's medics, and his panicked face lit up upon seeing her.

"Kuchiki Rukia-dono!" He ran forward. "You must come quickly, Kuchiki-dono, for we have received word of a surprise attack on the hunter's part, resulting in many casualties and injuries, and one of them is Urahara-dono!"

"What?" All three in the room stood up in unison, and Rukia grabbed the medic by the shoulders, shaking him like a rag doll. "Is Urahara dead or injured?"

"H – he's just injured, Kuchiki-dono," the medic garbled, "but his injuries are severe, and we think he might make it, but all the rest of the participating vampires are unsure of what to do now so we need your guidance, Kuchiki-dono!"

That's right…she remembered. If anything should happen to Urahara, she, as the holder of the first-seat of the leader division, would take his place…

Hitsugaya and Renji were exchanging glances again. She ignored them, brushing past all three and pulling the medic by the arm. "Quickly! Show me the way to Urahara and to the rest of the vampires. How many are dead, do you know?"

"Roughly 80, Kuchiki-dono."

They were running down the corridor, and they were eerily empty; all the activity was probably concentrated at the medical ward.

"Oh, and Kuchiki-dono…"

"What?" she shouted, too wrapped up in her thoughts to be polite.

"The survivors mentioned something about a captured hunter, before I left to find you," the man said as he panted to keep up with their speed. "I didn't hear much, but apparently this hunter refused to leave the battle, and he was the last one, and they said his hair was a strange color that couldn't make him Japanese…"

Her heart froze.

"Quickly!" she shouted, and doubled her speed; the medic was left in the dust as all three upped their speed to near that of shunpa.

The scene was chaotic. Medics were running around, most with bandages or ushering human workers around for those who needed blood to boost healing energy. Many who could still move were already thinking about revenge, about getting in that one last attack that had been missed before collapse; and still more were covering the faces of the unmoving.

Rukia rushed around, trying to take charge – there were more medics around Urahara than anything else, but he was deathly still and paler than usual. She noticed some of his blood was leaking over the edge of the table, and that made her queasy, hesitant to move closer.

All in all, it took an hour for his condition to stabilize and the eventual healing process to start. In that time, Rukia was waylaid by bloodthirsty vampires, roars of pain, commands (to her!) saying that they had to set plans for revenge.

She groaned aloud. No time for idle rest!

But finally, after everything had calmed down just a bit, and Urahara had once again regained consciousness, Rukia sat next to his side. The blood was still pooled around the bottom of the table, and consequently, around her feet. For someone who required blood as a life staple, Rukia found the deep red color and the unmistakable vampiric aura altogether horrid. But Urahara was watching her, so she hastened to speak.

"…hey. Good to see you still with the living – pun intended."

"Hello, Kuchiki-san," he said. Then, to the medics, "Leave us."

They did, and soon only two vampires were left in the room.

"…you look like absolute shit."

"Thank you for saying so. I do believe it."

"…"

"…why don't you get straight to the point, Kuchiki-san?"

He must have caught her perturbed look. "…about the…hunter that was captured…"

He stared at her for a while before turning his eyes to the ceiling. "It's the orange-haired hunter who captured you."

Suddenly she stopped breathing.

"I must admit, he put up quite the valiant fight, and all the while he was looking around for something that I don't quite understand," Urahara said, and turned his face to her. But now she was looking away from him, fearing that he would see the answer to that question if their eyes connected. "However, it was that distraction that cost him…I do believe it was Abarai-kun who landed the stunning blow, right across the head. All the other hunters had already retreated upon his order, but only he remained, and was caught."

Ichigo was here…he was here, in the vampire's base, and Rukia was certain that Ichigo had been looking for her during that fight. She swallowed. He was so close, only now their positions were reversed…and vampires had gained their reputation for cruelty by what had been done with captured hunters…

Rukia would have felt ill, were that possible.

Urahara continued speaking, "I don't know what will happen to him, Kuchiki-san, but I know Abarai-kun and Histugaya-kun both have it in mind for him to be put to death." His eyes caught her wide ones. "You know how they both feel about you, Kuchiki-san, as far as close friendship goes. They think he's hurt you. And if they manage to convince two other elders and two others of the leader council that he should die…then you know even I won't be able to save him."

"Oh…oh…what…I…" Then, like a bolt of lightning, it struck. "Wait a minute, Urahara-san, you're talking about Ichigo as if I want him to be saved. What makes you think – "

" – that you don't want him to die?" Urahara chuckled softly. "Kuchiki-san, I won't delude myself in thinking that I know you inside and out, but I think that I know you enough to see that you do not want this hunter killed. The same way I'm sure he protected you. You were one to follow your life debts very closely, no?"

"U – Urahara-san, you…"

"And his name is Ichigo, is it? Well, I won't tell anyone. And for your sake, I sincerely hope that he won't be killed, and that Zaraki Kenpachi-san won't add any of his…creative input. For you, Kuchiki-san. I don't want to see you have to suffer."

She blushed. "U – Urahara-san…"

"Go on. Go see him. He's in cell A10."

"…thank you, Urahara-san…thank you…" That was all she could say, before she turned around to walk out of the room.

"Oh, and Kuchiki-san, one more thing."

She turned around.

"Does the fact that he greatly resembles Shiba Kaien still bother you?"

The question was unexpected; she flinched without meaning to. He noticed.

"I…" she paused. "It used to…I used to see him that way, and then it kind of stopped, and…no. I suppose that I would have to say no."

Urahara was quiet, and when she looked up, he was staring at the ceiling again. "That's good, Kuchiki-san."

She wondered if she should go or stay, but he answered that.

"Oh, go on! Please, don't let me keep you, Kuchiki-san."

"…"

With another glance at him, she left.

The perfect quintessence of the tortured prisoner's cell could be exemplified by their holding jail, precisely the reason why Rukia hated going down there. It was dark and damp, being well underground, and since it was only for prisoners there was no electrical light and water continually leaked somewhere. The walls were paved with rough stone, the torches on the wall casting eerie flickering light – and aside from a row of jail cells stretching down one side, it was bare without decoration. The only thing missing were skeletons hanging off the walls.

It was easy to find cell A10. It had the thickest bars with the thinnest spacing; it was like a grid, the squares between the horizontal and vertical bars were that small. Diffusing some of her aura into the lock, it opened immediately.

"…Ichigo?"

The cell was deep; the torch's flame didn't extend quite so far, and it was only by her enhanced vision did she see him.

"Rukia?" His hoarse voice surprised her…and then she saw him.

He was chained to the wall with thick arm cuffs down at his side. His legs were chained together, and the entire stance prevented him from sitting, so that he had to sag in his chains if he wanted to rest his legs.

But what shocked her the most was the state of his appearance. His clothes were ripped in places, there was dried blood on his face and arms, and she saw that he was favoring one leg.

He must have seen her face, because he let out a dry chuckle. "Don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks. Fucking red-headed friend of yours split my head open, and the arms are nothing. I just…think that my leg's fractured, and my right forefinger's broken."

"…Ichigo…" She just stood there, his words somehow so distant from her, like she was hearing them from far away. But all the same, she was comforted by them. She came forward hesitantly, as though he would disappear any minute, and the fingers that touched him were light at first.

"What? I'm not made of glass, y'know."

"It's…just…shut up," she said thickly. "I…" She searched for something to say. "I…I'll heal your injuries."

And she did so, healing up his fractured right leg and broken right forefinger, along with all the minor cuts over the rest of her body. After the glow from her hands had faded, she looked up at him. Having moved next to his body to heal him, their clothes were barely brushing each other, and she could feel the heat from his body at her own. Suddenly she so much more aware of how close they really were. His breaths ghosted over her forehead, and she heard his mouth part, and that was it.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, since she couldn't around his waist, and leaned in to him. The blood didn't matter, the place didn't matter. In fact, nothing mattered anymore. More than anything, she wished that his arms could be free to wrap around her. But that was impossible. Only Urahara had the key to the chains.

"Ichigo…I missed you, Ichigo…"

"I know." She felt his lips curve in her hair. "I missed you too."

This was all she'd wanted over the past couple of days. And now that she had it, it was just so incomparable.

"And, you know something, Rukia?"

"What?" She was glad the torch was so far from the cell. The dark made this more private, much more surreal, when her strongest sense of sight was diluted and she had to rely on the more intimate ones.

"You ran away from me so fast, the last time, so I never got to tell this to you."

"…Ichigo?"

"Heh…" he smiled ruefully. "I love you."

Rukia's eyes softened. He'd returned her feelings with the same level of confession that she had given to him. She pressed herself against his chest, clutching the front of his shirt. Somehow it had been expected all along.

"I…"

"You don't have to say anything."

"No, it's just…" Suddenly she was overcome by a desire to tell him this. "They might have you killed, you know! I don't know anything about it, but…"

"It's fine…don't worry, this is gonna be okay."

"How can you say that? Do you realize you're in our base now? We won't have to study you to see if you're special, and the council might not care about keeping you alive! They might kill you, really, Ichigo!"

"You're worrying too much about it," he said. "I learned not to do that. When a person weighs their options, they choose safety over risk. Then they end up with a half-lived life. I've never wanted that. If this is where I've ended up, then this is where I've ended up, you know?"

"You can say that, Ichigo, but death is forever. Eternal. You can't take it back."

"Yeah, with a few hundred thousand exceptions," he said wryly, in reference to her kind.

She looked up at him then, and all the weight of the past days disappeared from her shoulders the instant their eyes connected. His eyes were not looking at her, they were looking through her, revealing all her secrets and fears, supporting her courage, and once again drawing his presence so sharply to her that it was a miracle she could remember her own name.

Reaching up with her face, standing on the balls of her feet, her lips came to him slow and deep. Innocence was gone from their kiss; it was only fierce ardor, and want, and some inscrutable emotion so thoroughly buried that neither recognized it for what it was:

Need.

"I have to go…" she breathed against his lips. "Ichigo…they're expecting me, because our leader was injured…I only came down here to see you."

"…go then." He said that, but she could see something painful glimmering in his eyes, even without the light.

With many regretful looks behind, and holding onto him until at last she was too far out of reach, Rukia left the cell. "I'll try to come back as soon as I can, Ichigo, and maybe bring you some food if they don't feed you…"

He snorted. "Just go, do what you have to do, and don't worry about me."

"I…" She paused at the look on his face. "Fine. I'll try to come back soon."

And closing the door behind her, she left the dungeon quietly. Elation upon reunion was a very unusual emotion, Rukia decided, as she ascended the steps leading back into the main building of their headquarters. On one hand, it was beating at her chest, like a fluttering songbird struggling to escape a net that bound its freedom, its passion for life…

On the other hand, there was nothing. The endless dark of her fears was more than enough to scare the bird into silence.

tsuzuku