Chapter 20
The Bloom is off the Rose (Uncertainty)
Morning after the Halloween Dance
October 29, 2005
George Harrison (version 19.66) and Cinderella didn't win any prizes in the costume
contest at Belleview High School's Halloween dance last night. Drake had the
confidence to work a room, whereas Torey was more like Josh-like in that regard
and had to keep from breaking many a time when the Patterson-Crane clique did
their predictable pointing, whispering, and snickering. It was difficult to dance to the
seriously lame Frankie Fuller trio. His guitar playing was awful and his singing even
worse. Drake hated not having an amp with him so he could play the borrowed
cherry red wood Gibson SG standard that was just being used as prop. Drake really
wanted to up the guy. He should have been on that stage. One of the clerks at Guitar
World let Drake borrow it from his own personal collection provided that he bring the
six string back in the condition in which he took it in. It was 10:15 in the morning and
he didn't have to worry about sneaking out of his girlfriend's house. Mrs. Becker
went on a bus trip with her neighbor friend Denise and Mrs. Nichols thought Drake
was sleeping at a friend's house (well that part was true) and was going to work at
Guitar World at noon.
In reality both he and Torey had this particular Saturday off. Drake didn't feel guilty
about requesting the time off, but Torey hated missing work. It was a difference in
their personalities.
Mrs. Becker wouldn't notice if Drake opened up the Chocolate Mocha Swirl coffee?
Unlike his girlfriend and estranged stepbrother Drake never analyzed these types of
things. He just did it. Drake might not have known how to work a stove, but he could
make a mean pot of java.
The doorbell rang and Drake wondered who it could be. He was dressed in his now
wrinkled white button down shirt that was buttoned and his jeans. By the time he
opened the door the postman was at the house next store.
He took the big white envelope out of the mailbox and he would have tossed it on the
kitchen table if it weren't for something he noticed.
San Diego City College was on the return address label.
Drake Parker C/O Torey Becker
Drake also noticed the cloth mail holder that was tacked to the wall. It was in the
shape of a corner mailbox. He couldn't help himself as he took out the envelopes.
Santa Barbara City College-Drake C/O ToreyHarold Washington College-(In Chicago!)-Drake C/O Torey
Fisher College-(In Boston!)-Drake C/O Torey
What in the world? Drake didn't know what to make of this. He really wanted to hear
the reasons behind these college catalogues being sent in his name and mailed to
his girlfriend's house. What he didn't want to do was jump to any conclusions. It
could've been something completely harmless. He grabbed two brown coffee cups
with yellow handles out of the cupboard.
"Good morning, Drake," Torey wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss
on the neck. "You made coffee. You're so sweet."
"Yeah," he accepted the kiss and kept his mind focusing on pouring, "Torey, I have to
ask you—"
She saw all the envelopes strewn over on the kitchen table.
"I can explain this."
"I knew you could." He handed her a cup.
"I applied at the University of California, Santa Barbara, the University of San Diego,
Loyola College, and Wellesley." She over stirred the sugar in her coffee.
"And?"
"I was going to tell you, Drake. When the time was right."
"Tell me what?"
He was doing his best not get angry. Not with Torey. Not with the young woman he
loved. Not after two break ups. Drake didn't want her to say the words that he knew
were coming.
"I figured if you wanted to go to school that'd there would be some options for you."
That 'if' seemed to be a tacked on after thought. Only mentioned after her plans for
them as a couple were found out.
"Torey, you know I don't want to go to college. You know I don't even like going to
high school." He drank the coffee even though it was too hot.
"I know you don't. But I mean where is your band going?"
"Thanks for that."
"Drake, I didn't mean it that way." She too stayed at her end of the kitchen.
"How exactly did you mean it then?"
"I mean you yourself said the band isn't going to last. I just think you should think
about your future. I mean hobbies are fine but can you make a living from it?"
"Hobby?" He made a clicking sound with his tongue that he burnt on the coffee.
"Not everyone makes it in the music business."
"Torey," he poured his half-full (or was it half-empty?) cup of Chocolate Mocha Swirl
down the sink, "Are you trying to change me?"
"No! I'm just trying to think of your future, Drake. Since you don't seem to."
"Because my music is just a hobby and I need to get an accounting degree and
wear a suit and tie everyday to work. Is that it?"
"Stop twisting my words!"
"For your information I do think about the future."
He had five hundred dollars saved for her engagement ring already and now he felt
like he should take all of that money and buy a new guitar with it instead.
"When? You haven't mentioned anything to me."
"Music doesn't go in a straight line. I don't know what's going to happen or where I'll
be. I do know I won't be in any of those schools. I'm sorry to burst your bubble."
"Drake, you could really do great things if you only---"
don't say it!
"applied yourself."
Damn.
"My Mother said that exact same thing to me when I was thirteen."
"Maybe she should have kept on saying it and there'd be no need for this
conversation."
"Torey—"
Drake was very conscious over his not flying off the handle. Sure they could fight.
Every couple has to right? It doesn't mean they didn't love each other?
He didn't want to say anymore. If they kept this going they might be on the verge of
break up number three.
He really didn't want that.
Drake didn't even look at Torey when he walked passed her.
"Where are you going?" She asked softly as she put her coffee cup on the table.
"Upstairs."
She didn't know if following him up there would be a clingy thing to do on her part, so
she waited on the living room sofa for the longest three minutes of her life before
going up to her room.
Drake was sitting on her bed tying up the laces on his sneakers. Those replica
Beatle boots that he wore last night hurt his feet.
"I don't want us to fight." Torey said in the doorway.
"I don't want that either." He couldn't bring himself to smile.
The bloom was off the rose and now he was feeling what he NEVER EVER wanted
to feel with Torey and that was the feeling of uncertainty.
She brought herself closer but didn't touch him. Torey felt that she had to keep a
safe distance because if he backed away from her she would start crying.
"I never said you weren't talented. You know I love your music."
"Yeah." She looked different. Not in terms of her physical looks, but the whole
sneaking around and applying for college applications in his name sent in care of
her at her house was not an attractive view of the woman he wanted to make his wife.
"I thought you said you didn't want us to fight?"
"I don't."
"So how come you aren't talking, Drake?"
"Because I don't know what to say." He took off his white button down shirt and threw
it in his duffle bag and took out a plain dark blue t-shirt to put on.
"Are you leaving?"
They were supposed to spend the whole day together.
He took his car keys out of his pocket and put them on her bookshelf. "Torey, I need
to be alone for awhile. I'll be back."
She resisted the urge to ask him "When?" The fact that he was leaving his clothes
here not to mention his car was proof enough that he was going to return.
She just didn't know when. He could be gone all day just to be stubborn.
"Okay."
Drake didn't kiss her on the cheek or anything. He would have backed away if she
had tried earlier. As soon as she heard him leave out the front door and saw him
walk passed her bedroom window she grabbed her wizard teddy bear, curled
herself up in her bed, and cried.
Did they really have what it took to take their relationship to the after high school
level or were they going to be one of the thousands of couples over the years that
never despite their efforts made it to forever?
Drake didn't go anywhere in particular. He was going to return the 'George Harrison
guitar' on Sunday afternoon when he went to work.
WorkHello! He had a job.
Drake knew Torey was crying. Again, he caused her tears. But she said some hurtful
things. Maybe they weren't intentional but they were hurtful. He knew she was sorry
and she knew that he was a stubborn man.
It was at that moment when he found himself standing in line at the local Golden
Donuts that he wished that Josh were back in his life. On the surface it would have
seemed that Torey and Josh should have been the couple. They liked school, they
wanted to go to college, and wanted to have a quote unquote "career". Torey made
Drake happy.
She was the kind of woman who if you were sick brought you ice cream and
presents, if you didn't eat for most of the day she would make you dinner, and if you
couldn't pick her up she wouldn't complain and would pay for her own taxi. Drake did
love her, but he didn't know if their love was enough to see them past high school.
He didn't even know if he should propose.
The ring wasn't even purchased yet.
Maybe this was a sign.
He also wished that Spidey were here. It's not that Drake couldn't or wouldn't go to
Walter; it was just with the separation with Audrey going on, Drake didn't want to
burden him with his problems.
Torey's a problem?
I just thought of my girlfriend as 'a problem'?
They couldn't break up. Not like this and certainly not in this way.
There was a solution to all this. Well at least a temporary one he thought as he
waited for his turn in the queue.
When Drake arrived back he found Torey sleeping. Her mascara and eyeliner
were smeared. It didn't matter to him, she was still beautiful.
"Hey," he caressed her cheek with his hand, "Torey. Wake up."
"Drake, you're back." She was surprised that only forty-five minutes had lapsed.
"Yeah, I am. I bought doughnuts."
"I'm not really hungry. I must look terrible."
"You could never look terrible."
"I need to wash my face."
"Well, you nee—We both need to eat. So come downstairs."
"Drake---"
"Torey, I was going to tell you this when you came downstairs, but I don't think we
should focus on the future. Neither one of us knows what's going to happen and I don't
want to fight with you." He put his hand on her blanket covered knee.
"I think that's some good advice."
It might have been a little bit of the sweeping-it-under-the-collective-carpet variety, but
maybe in this case it was needed.
"I'm glad that you feel that way."
"Hug?" she held out her arms.
"I can do one better."
Drake kissed her on the lips before they shared an embrace.
Thank god that felt the same!
"I love you, Torey. That hasn't changed."
"I love you too, Drake. Did you buy glazed?"
"I might have."
"Did you want to go any place after?"
"I'd rather just stay here with you."
That was all that Torey wanted as well. They were both aware of the fact that their road
together might actually lead to nowhere. They both wanted to enjoy their time together.
It might be over with in the blink of an eye and they didn't want to miss a moment.
He might have felt a tinge of uncertainty over the reality of their long-term future
together; even if that rose never bloomed again Drake Parker was always going to
love Torey Becker no matter what.