Chapter 3

The Conception

"Does it hurt a lot?" she asked, kneeling before Cloud and reaching up to touch his arm.

He instinctively pulled back from her touch, not wanting to infect her even though he knew the condition was not contagious. He was ashamed. He looked at her and was struck again by her deep auburn eyes and pale sable colored skin. He could feel her eyes bore into him, seeing through the walls he had thrown up to hide his vulnerabilities. Dammit why did she always see through him so easily?

He smiled wanly and said "I could never hide anything from you, could I?"

"I know what you're thinking. You stay away because you're ashamed, because you don't want anyone to see you as anything but strong and invulnerable, but you can't live alone for the rest of your life." She shifted at his feet so that she could look straight into his face. She wasn't going to let him run away this time.

"But you keep your phone don't you?" she said, reaching around him into his back pocket where she found his cell phone. "You never answer it so why do you keep it?"

He could feel her sweet breath on his cheek as she leaned forward to retrieve his phone. Her thick silky hair fell across his shoulder and brushed against the side of his face as she moved out of his reach. At that moment, his heart missed a beat and he could feel his face flush with . . . . what? What was his body telling him? He had felt pangs like this around Tifa before but only fleetingly and always at an inopportune moment. In the past, he just pushed them back down and buried them. But this time . . . this time . . .

He reached out to take the phone from her but she threw it across the room and stood up, looking down at him.

"Do you think are you protecting me from this disease by staying away? Well your not. Your just hurting me, hurting Marlene, and everyone else who loves . . . you."

At this, Cloud looked up at Tifa. He searched her face for something . . what?

Love. That word.

Tifa's face was a mixture of anger, sadness and something else. What was it? He recognized it suddenly as the last thing he saw in Aeris's face before she died.

He was transported back to that day he laid Aeris to rest in the pool. He held her lifeless body in his arms, willing it to life again. His throat ached as he remembered the guilt he felt. He had done nothing to help her. He watched her die and did nothing.

Tifa knew what she was seeing as she watched the play of emotions cross Cloud's face. Again she was relegated to second place. She groaned and threw her head back in exasperation.

"I am here. I am with you now. She is gone and she can't help you. I loved her too. I was just as much to blame for her death. You must let it go, Cloud, because if you don't, you will spend the rest of your sad life wandering the land looking for a way to die."

She spat the last words out in anger and immediately regretted their tone. She sighed in disgust, more at herself than at Cloud, and turned way from him towards the window where the rest of her clothes lay.

She was stopped short in mid-stride and turned to see what was preventing her from moving. She stood in shock as she realized it was Cloud's hand, grasping her wrist that kept her from moving away from him.

Cloud stood and pulled her back to him. He held on to her wrist like a drowning man desperate for rescue.

"Tifa, don't leave . . don't go," he said in a small soft voice. He could not look her in the eyes. He knew if he did, he would loose it.

Tifa gasped silently. This was what she had been waiting for. Her heart leaped in her chest as he pulled her to him. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face and his touch burned into the flesh of her wrist. She raised her hands to his face and turned it towards her so that she could look into his azure blue eyes.

"I never have left you. I have always been with you, no matter how far you run from me. Don't you know that?"

"Tifa. . . " He breathed her name and pulled her closer to him. He could feel her warm body against him as he slipped his arms around her waist and down her lower back. Her thin shirt glowed warm under his hands. She wrapped her arms around his neck and grimaced with pain as he pressed her wounded ribs against him.

He felt her wince and was immediately reminded that she was still recovering from her wounds. He loosened his hold on her and gently kissed her forehead. He slid his hand from her back to around her side and gently placed it over the welt left there by Loz.

Tifa looked up at him and saw the concern in his face.

"I'm ok," she answered to his unasked question, feeling the warmth of his hand seep into her side, easing the pain she felt.

Cloud was lost. All his defenses crumbled at her feet. All he wanted now was Tifa. She filled his mind and his senses, pushing out any thoughts of Aeris. He held her face in his hands and gently pressed his lips to hers, lingering there to savor the moment.

And he took her . . .

Much later, as he lay there in her arms, he wondered what the light was. The light that he caught sight of just as they completed their passion play. Where did it come from? Did he imagine it? He must have. He looked into her face and saw that her eyes were closed and her breathing had returned to normal. Her face relaxed into a repose that belied the passion of a few moments ago. She looked like a sleeping child. Innocent of everything around her except the man in her arms. She opened her eyes and looked at him with an expression of pure love. At that moment, he knew that he had finally found home. All of the doubt and guilt of the months past faded and he finally felt at peace.

"Tifa . . I love you. I think I know now that I always have."

His words cut through her to her very soul. These were the words she had waited to hear all of her life and from the man she loved so very much for so very long from so very far away. The fullness of the emotions locked so deep away inside her could finally be expressed. She did not fear any more that they would drive her mad or drive him away.

"I love you. I always have loved you. Whatever happens now doesn't matter because I know now that you love me too," she whispered, tears streaming now down her face.

"Why do you cry, then?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

She lay in his arms, thinking of an answer to his question. She didn't know why. She supposed they were tears of joy, but there was something else going on here. It felt like something had started inside her. Something she could feel but not express.

"They are tears of joy," is all she could muster.

He smiled and held her close, seeking the fading warmth of her body. He pulled a sheet over them both and wrapped her up in his arms with her back to him.

And they fell into a deep sleep like this. Cloud's body encircling Tifa's in a protective embrace.