Chapter 3: Waiting for Scripts
"So any of you guys going home?" Marik asked.
"Why don't we stay awhile? We could look over the lines and get re-acquainted." Ryou suggested.
"I'm alright with that. I'll go get the scripts." Mai volunteered. "Coming Mr. Spade?"
"You bet I will." Joey jumped up and proceeded out the door.
"What about the rest of you?" Bakura asked.
"We can stay." Ishizu answered referring to herself and Marik.
"We've cleared off the entire day." Marik added.
"I did the same thing." Tea commented.
"I'll only distract Noah from his tutor. I'm in." Seto said thinking it over. Everyone else nodded and agreed. "Noah's growing accustomed to the celebrity life really quick and he loves all the fan attention."
"Probably because he hasn't run into any psychotics or weirdoes. Tristan said. "What's fame done to you?"
"Well; my ex wants me back now, fan girls are everywhere I look, people still call me Kaiba, Noah and I get all the best seats for anything we want, and apparently there are a lot of girls out there who wanna have my baby."
"Same here." All the guys chorused at once.
"I was out with little Mariku," Marik added "when a group of ladies surrounded us begging for autographs. Some of them bent down gawking at him and asked for a hug. He actually hugged one of them and that poor deluded girl cried that she wanted my baby." Everyone laughed.
"You never told me about that." Ishizu said.
"Oh yeah, that happened yesterday." Marik replied.
"One guy asked me to sign his lower abdomen." Serenity added.
"That is so cheap." Tristan stated. "But that reminds me of a girl who wanted me to sign her back. She pulled her shirt completely off with nothing underneath and bent over for me to sign it."
"That's just plain sleazy." Tea was disgusted.
"It's because the show targeted more than just young boys from ages 8-10. It had things that older woman liked too." Yami told everyone. "Like there was a little kid who asked me to sign his Duel Monster trading card and once he left his older sister asked me to sign her cleavage." They laughed some more.
"I know what you mean about the whole age thing." Duke added. "Last week some old lady started smacking me around saying that I was a good for nothing show off and explaining the problems of today's youth. I think she really thought I was Duke Devlin." Everyone laughed again.
"What was she hitting you with?" Yami asked.
"A leather strap." Suddenly Ryou gave an assortment of small girly gasps, whimpers, and screeches. Bakura's pupils became tiny and he shuddered longer than any of them had seen anyone shudder before. With an eye twitch between both of them, they finally stopped. They looked at the petrified twins. "What's up with you guys?"
"We can't tell you." Ryou answered.
"It's much too embarrassing." Bakura said.
"Come on, we're like family." Tristan pleaded.
"We're all adults here. Will you tell if we promise not to laugh?" Ishizu asked them.
"You promise not to?" Ryou wanted to make sure. "I still don't know." Ishizu made a sad face and pleaded pathetically. "Oh all right." Ryou began to explain the incident.
"Shortly after the episode where Bakura is beaten in the Shadow Game against Marik, me and Bakura went to a bar in the city. Well Bakura wanted to have one more drink and I needed some fresh air so I went outside. That's when a man and woman in leather approached me. They said they were fans of the show and asked me to sign something for them. They gave me a black leather whip and a white out pen to sign it with.
"If that weren't weird enough, the guy started talking about how much fun we could have with the whip. Finally Bakura came out and the both of them just lit up with joy. The woman went up to him and the guy stayed with me. I hadn't realized how big he was before. He told me that I was very cute for a guy. That I was…" Ryou shuddered, "tender, soft and delicate like a girl. I wanted to ask him if he would stop petting me but I was too scared.
"Then the woman brought Bakura over and she whispered all the things they could do with us." Ryou began whimpering and Bakura began shuddering again. They were lost within their own memory of it all. They started to make incoherent noises. The words closet, whip, plugging, binding, dark, and leather straps were the only understandable words. After a brief silence Ryou seemed to come back. "Then she asked if 'two hot guys' like us would be up for it and the man winked at us"
"What did you say?" Serenity was astonished, disgusted and on the brink of laughing her ass off.
"I said…'Tempting…..but no thank you'." Everyone was very still.
"Go ahead and laugh. I know that you want to." Bakura said looking around. Duke and Seto were the first to indulge in the guilty pleasure of laughing at another person's misfortune. After that it became contagious. Ishizu tried hard to stop her laughing so that she could sympathize with them.
"Oh poor babies. Come here." She held out open arms, trying hard not to crack up. Like small children running to their mother, they went over to her. Ryou wrapped his arms around her torso and rested his head on her chest. Bakura wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap. Ishizu was still laughing lightly and wiped a tear from her eye.
"You know, I hadn't noticed how delicate and girly the two of you were." Seto commented, still laughing. He and Duke laughed harder.
"You two shouldn't be laughing." Bakura smirked.
"Yeah," added Ryou. "Or has Leon Quiq forgotten about Andre, his LUVA." Ryou started to laugh accentuating lover. "Just wait. You two are gonna have a make out scene or a kiss that you'll never do quite right, and be forced to do it again and again with more and more passion until it's believable. Then we'll see who's laughing." Ryou and Bakura made kissing noises at them. Seto and Duke immediately stopped.
"Hey, talking about the scenes, where are Joey and Mai?" Tea wondered aloud. "Do you think they got lost?"
"Maybe the scripts weren't in there." Yami guessed.
"Or the door was locked." Serenity figured.
"What if they're locked inside?" Tristan wondered.
"Or they could be having sex in there and just lost track of time." Marik said matter-of-factly.
"Oh come on, seriously." Tea said.
"No, no, I think he's right. They probably are having sex in there." Ryou added.
"It makes sense." Bakura agreed. "Most likely it's a quickie so they should be coming back any minute now." As though he said the magic words, the door crept open and Joey and Mai walked inside. "Well, well, well, look who's come back."
"Sorry you guys. Something… came up." Joey apologized scratching his head to think up an excuse.
"Yeah, it has a tendency to do that now a days doesn't it." Serenity snickered.
"You're just jealous." He smiled and gave Mai a kiss.
"Cut the crap Joseph Spade, you horney bastard, and give me my script." Yami playfully picked on him from across the room. Joey tossed him one. Yami looked at it closely. "There better not be any surprises in this thing."
"Nothing you haven't seen already." Everyone made an 'ooooh' noise. Yami simply smiled.
"And just like before, my answer is this." Yami stuck up his middle finger. "Now, Act 1 Scene 1."