Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story...for those of you who are slightly confused, I went back and put the missing chapter two back in so while it might seem like I posted chapter 3 twice, go back and read two...it's different now, I swear! The idea of Jack hugging Sam's knees came from Rose Stetson (bows down), and now, on to drabble number 4: Jack Vs. Photoshop
Jack starred at the team photo on the screen in front of him. He still didn't precisely understand how the digital camera was able to do this-he just took Sam and Daniel's word that this would work.
"Um Sir, can you take 10 pounds off of my hips?" Sam asked, who was leaning over his shoulder after patiently walking him through how to open Photoshop.
He gave her a look of surprise.
"You want me to do what?"
Sam closed her eyes.
"I should have phrased that differently." she replied.
"Yeah...you might want to try that one again." Jack said.
"I want you to take 10 pounds off of my hips on the computer."
Looking at the computer and back at her, Jack's face said everything he couldn't.
"I didn't mean that, sir! Here, look."
Taking the mouse, Sam drew the cursor down her hips and shrunk them.
"There, that's better." she declared in satisfaction.
"What's wrong with your hips? They look pretty good from where I'm sitting." Jack said with what could only be described as a wicked grin.
"Sir, I'm POSITIVE that's breaking some kind of regulation!"
He shrugged.
"That's what I think, for whatever little it may be worth."
Trying to give him a grouchy look, Sam failed miserably and left his office with a hurried, "Good-bye, Sir."
Turning back to the computer, he was able to figure out how to save the picture. He'd worry about finding the picture again later.
As he logged on to the internet, he noticed several news stories about everybody's favorite butt-head, Senator Kinsey's campaign for the White House. There were several pictues you could click on, and Jack began to get an idea.
Daniel and Sam were in the lab examining several new artifacts when Jack's distinct yell could be heard. "CARTER! DANIEL!"
They groaned, and got up to go see what he wanted.
"Great...now he's calling for both of us!" Daniel groused.
"Hopefully he didn't find more video games!" Sam said.
Daniel turned his head and began whistling.
"Daniel...you didn't send him more games, did you?" Sam asked dangerously.
The anthropologist was examining his shoe very intently.
"No...not exactly..." came the muttered reply.
"What did you send him?"
Daniel said, "I'll tell you afterward."
They walked into Jack's office to find him sitting there with a very evil smirk on his face.
"I have an idea...but I need help working Photoshop." he said.
He quickly explained his plot to the two members of his team, which was this: get a picture of Senator Kinsey and photoshop it with some interesting features, then e-mail it to him in time for his birthday the next day.
"What were you thinking of, sir?" Daniel asked once they got the picture and had opened up Photoshop.
"Tell me what this baby can do." he replied.
45 minutes later, the senator was completely bald except for a green and hot pink mohawk going down the middle of his head. He was wearing an AC/DC shirt and had a chain necklace around his neck. Jack had taken great delight in adding some HUGE jowls to the the senator's face and thickening his eyebrows until they looked the Australian bush.
"You know..." Sam mused, "We can put music with the picture..."
Jack smiled. "I know just the song. Daniel, where can we find "Hail To The Chief?"
Now the masterpiece was finished. Daniel created a fake e-mail account for one "Lola Slink", then both Sam and Daniel howled as Jack signed the e-mail, "Happy Bithday, you sexy man. Love, your admiring fan."
"He'd kill us if he ever found out." Daniel choked.
"That's for sure!" Sam chuckled.
Jack hit "send" with a flourish, and Daniel's eyes bugged out in fright.
"Sir, you just sent that e-mail to both houses of Congress!"
The three of them looked at each other.
"I think I'm just gonna goback to my office andplay Mini-Ninja Two now." Jack said, and quickly ran away to his computer. He hoped that General Hammond would NOT hear about the e-mail.
Sam and Daniel were still slightly in shock.
"If the general finds out, he'll KNOW who sent it!" Daniel said, panicking slightly.
"What I want to know is,just what did you send the colonel?" Sam asked.
Before Daniel could even open his mouth to answer, Jack yelled, "YESSSS! MINI-CLIP DOT COM!"
"DANIEL! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T SEND HIM ANY MORE GAMES!" Sam roared.
"You never said anything about websites! Besides, you can't download on that site!" he squeaked as Sam chased him around the table.
"Okay...you can live...for now." Sam cautioned.
Daniel left to go pay Janet a visit and just then, Jack bellowed, "WHOO-HOO! HALO FOR DOWNLOAD!"
"DANIEL JACKSON, YOU'RE DEAD!" Sam shrieked.
The anthropologist raced up to Jack's office and shut and locked the door.
"Hey Colonel, want some help downloading Halo? I can be here for as LONG as you need me..."