This is "Jack Vs. The Chalkboard Part 2", a.k.a "Jack Vs. Kinsey". Hope you guys have been enjoying these! "Jack Vs. Windows Media Player" will be coming soon. If you want some more zaniness in your life, read my other story, "Jack and Sam Vs. Ballroom Bootcamp". Many thanks to the lovely and talented Rose Stetson for being my faithful beta and sounding board.

Jack was tired of writing. He'd been doing it for 3 days now, and had over half of the chalkboards lined up in the oval office filled with "I will not make fun of Senator Kinsey".

"Say them as you write them, Colonel O'Neill...I want to hear it." Kinsey smirked.

The President-Elect's smirk didn't last for long. Jack decided that he'd had enough kowtowing to the creep and wanted to have some fun. He began saying the phrase in a variety of different voices, accents, and dialects. His personal favorite was, "I will not make fun of Senator Kinsey, will I precious?"

Kinsey looked extremely frightened, and Jack made a mental to note to reserve the Gollum voice for the dear senator.

He was whipping through the sentences and was on the last board when Kinsey came over and looked at it.

"Oh dear Jack, you forgot, "during an election year..." you'll just have to go back and add it."

"I'll add something to you, you turkey." Jack muttered as he turned back to the first board and went through them again.

Finally, he was done.

"Jack?" Kinsey asked.

"Yes?" Jack replied slowly, fearing the answer.

"You're dismissed."

Running as quickly as he could out of the White House, Jack blinked as the sunlight hit his eyes. He'd been cooped up for too long.

He was back in Colorado Springs that night and called the team to let them know he was home. Daniel told him they'd been planning a team night out to a paintball place the next day, and Jack said he would be there. Once he hung up the phone, he laid down on his bed and began to plot revenge against Kinsey.

Sam was very pleased to see Jack that morning anyway, but was even more so after he kissed her.

"I missed you...being in the same room with him was pure TORTURE!" he shuddered as he hugged her close.

"Awww..." Daniel and Janet said in unison.

"Now THAT I didn't miss." Jack whispered. Sam laughed.

The paintball night was a blast. Jack proved to be lethal with the paintball gun and ended up winning the games. A thought crossed his mind, and he grinned evilly. Kinsey would be coming to Denver very soon and that would be his chance to strike back and get some revenge for the chalkboards..

"Hey Daniel, you own a few of these paintball guns, right?" Jack asked, trying to be casual.

Daniel looked at him suspiciously.

"Yeah...two...why?"

"Trust me Danny Boy, if I tell you, you'll be an accessory to the fact." Jack replied.

The anthropologist's eyes widened.

"Say no more. Do you need them both?"

"Yep. And what colors do paintballs come in?"

Daniel though for a moment.

"They usually are primary colors, but there's a specialty shop about 10 minutes south of the base that can make personalized paintballs if you provide them a color."

Jack took both of the paintball rifles, but Daniel stopped him.

"Be sure to dust them off...they're unregistered."

"Daniel, you little rebel you!" Jack needled.

The next day, Jack dropped off his paintball requests at the small shop and picked them up a day later. Sam knew there was something going on the minute Jack called in sick. He NEVER called in sick.

Sam cornered Daniel, but the man could shed no light on what Jack was doing. Then, they looked at the paper.

"Oh no..." Sam whispered.

Daniel grinned.

Kinsey was going to be in Denver that evening, and both betted there were was going to be some kind of incident. Jack would be involved, of course.

Jack had been hiding back stage for over 4 hours, but he was prepared.

As Kinsey was right in the middle of giving his speech, Jack stuck the barrells of the paintball rifles out from behind the black curtain. He shot quickly, getting the President in the butt so hard that Kinsey flew forward and knocked the podium over. He stood up, and turned his back to the auidence, whom began to crack up. He had been hit by a bright green paintball in the right buttock and a hot pink one on the left.

The speech was cancelled right then and there. As Kinsey was nervously making his way back to his dressing room, a very familiar voice said, "He has colored buns, doesn't he, precious?"

Another voice answered, "Yes, he does, Precious, yes he does."

"AHHHHH!" Kinsey screamed as he ran away.

Jack escaped without any incident and drove back to Colorado Springs, chuckling the entire way.

The next morning, General Hammond came into his office, holding the paper. It had a nice, big color picture of the President-Elect's decorated butt.

"Care to explain this, Jack?" he asked.

"Nope." Jack replied with a satisfied smile, turning his attention back to Mini Ninja.

"Jack, as much as I despise Kinsey, I can't just turn my face and let you get away with this scot free. I really hate doing this to you, but...You have lost the computer for a week."

Colonel O'Neill looked up at him, water in his eyes and a grief stricken expression on his face.

"Not even...Mini Ninja?" he asked.

"No Mini Ninja." General Hammond affirmed.

Jack looked down at his shoes once the computer tech people had taken his beloved computer away. What was he going to do now? Teal'c was no fun to bug, and Sam would hurt him if he pestered her too much...

Daniel walked past, and Jack got up from the desk.

"Hey Danny Boy, what are you doing?"