For Summary, Rating, Warnings, Disclaimer, and Notes, please see Chapter One.
Chapter Three: Reconstruction
The trip to the hospital was slow-going until the four men finally made their way to a busy enough street that they could hail a taxi, and the way Edward clung to his little brother seemed as much for his own sake as for Alphonse's. It took a hell of a fight from the nurses and orderlies to pry the elder brother away from his sibling, but eventually Roy had been able to tug Ed into the waiting room as Alphonse was taken into the operating room to remove the bullet from his shoulder, and Grigori Rost was taken to the emergency room and, afterward, the burn ward.
Both men were quiet as they sat and waited for news, any news on how the younger Elric was doing. Logically, Roy knew that a shot to the shoulder wasn't quite the life-threatening wound it could have been if the bullet had hit anywhere else, but that didn't ease his anxiety at all.
Movement beside him pulled the older man's attention away from his lover's suffering, however, and he saw that Ed seemed to finally be coming out of his state of shock. He knew it was a good thing, but he didn't like the way the younger man was suddenly shivering, golden eyes finally focusing but on something Roy couldn't see; though he could take a good guess as to what it was.
"Edward…?" he whispered, hesitantly reaching out his hand to settle on the younger man's knee.
"He… He shot him…" They were the first words he'd spoken since Roy had lifted the brothers off of the ground. "Al…almost died…" It was the first time Roy had heard the blonde refer to his brother as anything but "Alphonse" since he'd come back from the dead a year ago.
The older man quite suddenly found his former subordinate curled up practically in his lap, and Roy didn't care how or why as he wrapped his arms tightly around the shaking form, rocking faintly in an innate action designed purely for comfort. He didn't question when two arms closed around his neck. He didn't question when a warm face was pressed to his shoulder. And he didn't question when the blonde's breath began hitching and a faint puddle began to seep through his shirt.
Edward was distinctly calmer when the news finally came that Alphonse was out of surgery and in stable condition. Of course that didn't stop either man from leaping to their feet when the doctor headed towards them, and Roy couldn't help but smirk with pride and badly-veiled affection when the younger man made a scene when the doctor tried to keep Roy from visiting Alphonse because he wasn't family. The man had been the closest thing the brothers had had to family outside of Rizenbul since they were children and, as far as Ed was concerned, that was good enough. Roy tried not to stare at the blush on the younger man's cheeks as the doctor finally led them both to Alphonse's room.
"He's still a bit groggy from the medications," the doctor explained quietly, holding the door open for the men, "So he probably won't wake up for some time." The man looked exceedingly upset that he'd been forced to allow this non-family member into the room, but with the vicious scowl Ed tossed him as he caught the dirty look he'd been focusing on Roy, he decided it would be best not to saying anything. Roy's grin couldn't have been more smug.
It didn't take long, however, for either man's expression to turn concerned as they took in the sight of the pale, bandaged, and altogether fragile-looking blonde currently all but comatose in the hospital bed before them. Ed swallowed hard and twitched towards the bed, looking very much like he wanted to crawl into it with his brother and just hold him until he was healthy again, but was afraid of…something. Roy couldn't say for certain what it was, but when he slipped an arm around the blonde's waist and gently guided him over towards the two chairs set up beside Alphonse's bed, Edward didn't try to pull away.
They settled into the uncomfortable wooden chairs, Roy leaving the one closest to the head of the bed to Edward who sat in it almost reluctantly, and a long silence followed. It wasn't quite comfortable, but more familiar and yet concerned and unignorably tense. The point of interest, however, Roy noted, was that the tenseness wasn't entirely being caused by Alphonse's well-being; and it was this that finally pushed the older man to break the silence that had stretched for what seemed like days, but had probably only been a few hours.
"Why did you leave?"
Edward blinked up, as if surprised by the sound in the silent hospital room, but his eyes betrayed the fact that he'd been expecting this question for far longer than just the past few hours. "I told you," he murmured, keeping his voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to wake his sleeping brother, "I had an assignment; Mitchell wanted me on it--"
"That isn't what I'm referring to, Edward," the older man interrupted, knowing very well from the way that the elder Elric just stared at his brother's hand that he knew that, "Though we will discuss later you're lying." That brought Edward's eyes up to Roy's, though he couldn't have been that surprised that his former commanding officer had known. But the older man said nothing, merely meeting that gaze unwaveringly as he repeated his question, "Why did you leave?"
The younger man's shoulders shook with the tension spiking through him; it had been a year since the event, and yet it still left Edward feeling angry, and resentful, and guilty, and jealous, and sick, and just raw. By the age of twelve, he'd cultivated a cocky smirk that could mask most of his doubts and uncertainties, but in those moments of overwhelming emotion, not even his best efforts had been able to cover his traitorous expressions. That night, he didn't even try and Roy was left nearly breathless for the utter openness of the young man's face and the self-hatred etched across his features that, he was sad to say, he wasn't exactly a stranger to; the blonde had always had an over-active guilt complex.
When the silence stretched on for a few more minutes, Roy began to think that Ed wasn't going to even attempt an answer. But when he took a breath to speak again he heard the blonde's voice, soft and hoarse as if the emotions he was feeling were too much of a strain on him and the older man saddened as he recognized the tone as something he hadn't heard since he watched the same FullMetal Alchemist come to realize his own mortality at the age of twelve.
"I…had to…"
There was another long stretch of silence, and once again Roy was uncertain if Ed would continue, but he could see the blonde working through his thoughts; could tell that, if he didn't continue, then it was likely that he just couldn't find a way to explain.
"There isn't a single thing I wouldn't do for Alphonse," he continued finally in that same soft voice, "Just so long as I know he's happy. It doesn't matter what happens to me in the end, just as long as he's able to live the life he's deserved all along. It frustrates him to no end, even… Even when we were kids, or when we were searching for the Stone. He wouldn't yell or lash out or anything, but every time I even hinted that I didn't care if I ever got my arm and leg back, just as long as he got his body back… He'd get that exasperated…look." He paused and a small fond smile turned up his lips just faintly enough that, if he hadn't been watching the young man so intently, Roy might have missed it entirely. "I guess I sometimes forgot that he was just as dedicated to me as I was to him, and I can't imagine what it's been like for you. He must be driving you insane for you to track me down after all this time.
"It doesn't matter though," the blonde continued, and Roy blinked as that smile was gone in a heartbeat, "It was for his own good -- for all of our own goods. And I'd really appreciate it if you would--"
"You selfish little brat."
Ed blinked up at the older man as he was cut off, gold eyes wide in honest surprise as Roy all but scowled at him.
"You were always rather selfless when it came to your brother, but you seem to have lost the distinction between his happiness and your own desires." Roy's voice was hard and unbending; the tone left over from his years as the Flame Alchemist, and it sent a shiver down his former subordinate's spine. "In case you hadn't noticed in the fifteen years you spent together, Alphonse loves you. I know it may come as something of a shock, but he does. You're his brother, Edward, his only living relative; for you to, by all accounts, come back from the dead and then disappear without a word as to why…" Roy had to actually reign in his anger, taking a deep breath before he continued somewhat more calmly. "I can't really tell you how strongly that effected him, and not simply because it isn't my place. He's picked up a few bad habits from you in that respect."
"Like you're one to talk."
The retort rather took the older man off-guard, and he just blinked at Edward for a few moments. The blonde's eyes still hadn't left the motionless hand of his little brother, but he was glaring now.
"I beg your pardon?" Roy finally replied, his voice smooth and yet all-the-more dangerous for it.
"That's real slick, Mustang," the blonde spat, "Blaming me as the only reason why he would possibly keep something from you."
"I'm afraid I'm not quite sure wh--"
"You were always keeping things from us! Don't even try to deny it, Mustang. I'm not twelve-years-old anymore; I had eyes back then too, but I couldn't do anything about it. You were a manipulative and secretive bastard and worked on a need-to-know basis; the only problem with your 'system' was that, if anyone other than you needed to know, it wasn't until after the fact. So don't you dare talk to me about keeping things from people."
Roy…was left rather speechless at that. He thought about arguing that he'd had his reasons, perfectly good reasons, if you asked him, why he didn't reveal too much to others; but then he realized that, knowing Ed, he probably had just as good reasons, and that kept his mouth shut.
Another silence followed, thick with memories and what-ifs; both men lost in their own thoughts, trying to remember a time when they hadn't had to hide things from the people they cared about, and it didn't come easily for either of them. But now… Well, as far as Roy was concerned, there was no reason for them to keep things from one another anymore, though, if the fact that he'd avoided going anywhere near either Roy or Alphonse for the past year was any indication, Ed wasn't of like mind.
"You never answered my question…"
The tension in the younger man's shoulders returned with an almost audible snap a second before Ed was out of his seat and heading for the door. Roy frowned and, though he wasn't quite as quick as he used to be, not with the significantly-reduced depth-perception, he still managed to make it to the door before Ed, blocking off his exit and staring down that fierce glare steadily.
It was a stalemate, neither man backing down from his position, though neither made any move to try and overpower the other either.
"Get out of my way," Ed growled finally, hands clenching at his sides.
"I can't do that, Edward."
"Why the hell not!"
Dark eyes quickly flicked over to the bed where Alphonse lay, making sure he hadn't been awakened before turning coldly back to Edward. The younger man hadn't looked, but the relief was clear in his eyes that he hadn't accidentally woken his little brother. "He is your brother, Edward. And he's just been shot. If you would leave the very person you gave your life for when he wants you with him the most then I have clearly overestimated his importance to you."
That had quite clearly stung, but Roy didn't even think to take it back. He'd never minced words with the blonde, not with something like this. And he'd be damned if he was going to allow Alphonse to suffer anymore either.
"You do not have any obligation to tell me," Roy said, his voice softening just faintly, "I suppose, with our history, I have no right to really demand it of you either. However." There wasn't even a slight note of hesitation as the older man slipped off his gloves, tucked them back into his pocket, and lifted his hand to cup the side of the blonde's face. "I don't think I need to explain to you why Alphonse deserves to know, and why you have no right to keep it from him. At least tell him the truth, Edward."
Confusion was the main emotion roiling through those wide golden eyes; confusion and fear and something akin to desperation. Edward obviously did not want to do this; but he also knew that he had to do this. He inclined his head just faintly, lowering his eyes to…well, to something other than Roy's and, before he turned to leave, the older man pressed a gentle kiss to his former subordinate's forehead.
"Where are you going…?"
He was rather relieved that the question wasn't more along the lines of, "Why did you do that?" But the fact that Ed hadn't asked was message enough: He knew why, even if he wasn't aware of it, and some part of him recognized the fact that neither one of them was quite ready to hear the answer aloud.
"To go track down some coffee."
Silence.
"Bring me back a cup…?"
This time, he did hesitate, turning back over his shoulder to regard the blonde. Then, with a small, warm smile and a nod, Roy was gone, leaving Edward alone with his sleeping brother. He shuffled back to the uncomfortable wooden chair and hunkered in for a long wait. But after only about two minutes, his left hand lifted to the bed and, as one immerging themselves in water just a bit too hot, took Alphonse's hand and held it.
The younger Elric brother awoke like one dragging themselves out of a particularly muddy swamp and the first thing he was aware of was the fact that he was alone in bed. Well, that wasn't entirely out of the ordinary (Roy had always been an early riser), but then he also realized that he wasn't in their bed at home in Central. The dull throb in his left shoulder managed to remind him, after a few moments of puzzling, just why he wasn't in his bed. The muzzy state of his brain was the promise of medication that the throb would stay as such until it wore off.
As he tiredly tried to move his limbs, making sure everything was attached the way it should be (with the exception of his shoulder, of course) he felt the firm, warm weight of a hand in his own and, when he looked down to see who it belonged to, he couldn't help what would have been a bright smile had his mind not been fuzzy with medication.
Edward was dozing, his head resting lightly on the curve of his arm on the edge of the hospital bed, practically bent in half in a position Alphonse knew the older boy would be regretting once he woke up again. As much as he felt a little guilty about waking his brother up, the younger blonde couldn't, in good conscience, leave him to sleep like that, knowing from past experience just how badly the older man would ache.
"Brother," he whispered, gently squeezing the hand in his own.
The older blonde stirred just slightly, his face scrunching briefly as he was pulled from his light nap before his eyes flickered open. Alphonse's smile managed to widen a bit and he squeezed his older brother's hand more tightly. "How long have I been sleeping?" the younger man asked, sounding very much as if he were still asleep.
Edward blinked a few times, seemingly trying to make sense of the question before he raised his head to look around for a clock. His progress was impeded by a predicted snap as his spine set back into place with just the faintest of winces from the older blonde. The next moment, however, he raised his right hand to work the kinks from his neck while he searched the small private room for some sort of clue as to the time. Through the curtains there was a faint light misting into the room, telling the brother's that morning was coming on. The clock sitting above the doorway gave them a better idea as to the specific time, however.
"Well," Ed murmured with a bit of a grunt and another satisfying snap as he twisted his neck, "You got out of surgery about five hours ago…" Those golden eyes that had once been so filled with light and a fire that not even death had been able to put out but were now almost heartbreakingly dull and lifeless, darkened as the older man remembered just why his little brother had been in surgery in the first place. "How are you feeling?" he practically whispered, his hand gripping Alphonse's a bit more tightly.
"Mmm, a little sore," the younger blonde mumbled thoughtfully, rolling his shoulder a bit again. "I'm sure it'll probably be worse once the medication wears off, but for now it's not much more than a muscle strain."
"That's good," the elder responded quietly.
"Where's Roy…?"
Ed looked up at his brother before turning back to the clock. "He went to find some coffee about an hour ago… He probably just got lost or something," he answered, eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern, though both brothers knew very well why Roy wasn't there.
Light brown eyes regarded the older blonde for a few long moments as Alphonse mentally thanked his lover for leaving them alone. The older man had been just as concerned about Edward as Al had been, and Alphonse knew that he wanted an explanation just as much as the blonde did. However Roy was also constantly making allowances for the fact that the two younger men were brothers; no matter how badly he wanted the answers, Alphonse deserved them first and foremost. But now that he had Ed's undivided attention for the first time in a year, the younger man was unsure how to go about asking the questions he so desperately wanted answered. It seemed he wasn't meant to ponder this for very long, however, as a small voice spoke up from beside the bed and, after a muzzled moment trying to work out the quiet words in his head, Alphonse could do nothing but watch his brother.
"I'm sorry," Ed whispered, his hand squeezing the younger blonde's just a bit desperately, "I never meant to hurt you, you know that Alphonse, right?" It didn't take more than a nod to urge Edward on. "I thought… I thought that it was the best thing to do but…you just ended up hurt again…"
"Brother, that wasn't your fault," the younger blonde objected as forcefully as he could manage.
"You wouldn't have even been out there in the first place if you hadn't been looking for me."
"But it's not as if you were holding the gun."
"And it's not like I did anything to protect you!"
Alphonse blinked at his brother, the statement so incredibly ridiculous that he had to think a moment to make sure that that was actually what the older blonde had said. "Because I was protecting you," he murmured finally trying to keep calm, but he knew all-too-well that, if he could find a way, Edward would make out whatever had gone wrong to be his fault and it was hard to keep patient with him; especially in these instances when even Ed could tell, deep down, that he was just fishing for a way to blame himself. "Brother, remember what you told me about when you first started as a State Alchemist? You helped save Winry from that murderer but nearly died yourself. You told me that you realized that we're not gods and we're not devils; we're just human beings. What happened that you suddenly don't believe that anymore?"
The sharpness in his brother's tone was enough to turn Ed's gaze and his attention back up to the younger man, and it did nothing for his confusion when Al just shook his head exasperatedly. "You really are ridiculous sometimes, Brother," the blonde mourned before holding Edward's gaze resolutely. "You aren't a god, Brother; and you aren't a devil, you're just human, like the rest of us. No matter what way you look at the situation, this isn't your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's my own; you're plenty capable of defending yourself against a bullet and you've lived through a lot worse than just getting shot besides. But it was instinct to try and protect you; if I hadn't then most likely we wouldn't even be here in the hospital."
Edward shook his head and he took a breath as if he was about to deny the statement, but Alphonse cut him off before he was able to even think about what he wanted to say, "Brother, stop it! I'm not saying that you're absolutely innocent, but not everything that goes wrong is your fault! You're no more or less guilty than me or Roy and the more you deny the more we're going to beat it into that thick skull of yours, so you'd just be better off just accepting it and moving on."
That managed to pull a strangled chuckle from the older blonde and he just nodded and gave his little brother's hand a squeeze. It wouldn't be quite that easy, but Ed still felt relieved by the younger man's words: He really did forgive him.
Alphonse didn't allow his brother to dwell too long on that, however; as soon as he realized that Ed would at least try and take his words to heart, he immediately moved on to the other subject that had yet to be addressed. "Brother, tell me why you left…?"
The change in the atmosphere of the room was almost palpable as Edward's relief turned into dread. He'd hoped that he'd never have to have this conversation, though he'd known that he wouldn't be able to avoid it forever. Though he supposed that he should be thankful that, with the private room and the early hour, they could have this conversation without any interruptions.
"I couldn't stay," the blonde murmured after a few long minutes trying to think out what he was going to say, "You and Mustang… You were happy together and…I couldn't interfere with that."
Alphonse fought down a scowl; his brother really was an idiot. He wanted to scream at Ed, to shake him until he got it through his head that his happiness wouldn't be put into jeopardy just because his older brother was around. But he could see the older man still working through his thoughts, so Alphonse saved his tirade for later on.
"Ever since I got back," Ed continued, "Everything's been…so confusing. It was like I hadn't come back at all, just to a completely different world from this one and the one beyond The Gate. I know I should have been expecting it, but I was still taken off-guard by just how much everything changed. I mean, two years had gone by, so I shouldn't have expected everything to stay the same; but still… To come back and… You two…"
"Brother…" Alphonse suddenly realized just where this was going, though he'd speculated quite a bit over the past year. Edward didn't give him the chance to say anything, though.
"It was selfish; I was selfish. So I took myself out of the situation before I possibly did something that would hurt you…"
If the younger blonde hadn't been bogged down by pain and medication, he would have been across the bed and holding his brother. Either that or smacking the idiot for thinking it would hurt him less to have his only living relative avoid him for an entire year.
"What could have been so bad," the younger Elric asked, "That you had to run away and not even look at me for a whole year?"
Ed visibly winced at the accusation, ducking his head so his eyes were hidden by his bangs. He'd long ago decided that he would never tell his brother his reasons, but he didn't like keeping things him either…
Golden eyes flashed up to those familiar brown, so similar to their mother's that they could either bring a smile or a frown to the older blonde's face, depending on what memory chose to come forth. He couldn't keep trying to hide from the younger man, not if it just ended up like this every time; and not if Alphonse was just going to keep coming after him anyway. Besides, Ed thought defeatedly, After all this, he deserves to know.
With a soft sigh, Edward squeezed his brother's hand gently and stood, flashing a somewhat-reassuring smile to calm the younger blonde's worried gaze; he wasn't going to leave, not yet. "Just remember," he murmured as he crouched down near the head of the bed, "That I love you, no matter what, and I'd never try and take away something that made you happy…"
Alphonse wasn't left any time to ponder those words as he suddenly found something warm and soft pressed to his mouth. He tried to see what it was, but it was so close and his eyes were having trouble focusing. Once he managed to muddle his way out of the fuzziness caused by the medication, Alphonse smiled against his brother's lips and lifted his hand to Edward's shoulder as he returned that light kiss.
While it lasted longer than Edward had intended, it ended sooner than Alphonse would have preferred and, when the older brother pulled away, there was no mistaking the apology in his eyes. Before Alphonse was able to even think about what he might say, Edward was leaving, only impeded for a moment when he bumped into Roy who was on his way in. The former Colonel was graced with that same apologizing gaze mixed in with an almost-desperation before the elder Elric brother had disappeared through the door and down the hallway of the hospital.
The two lovers shared a look and then Roy set the two mugs of coffee down on the spare chair as he sat in the recently vacated one by the head of the bed and listened to what had transpired while he'd been away.
Edward watched his breath dissipate in the cold air as he sighed, leaning forward on the bench just outside of the hospital and burying his face in his hands. He couldn't believe that he'd actually done that, and he had absolutely no doubt that whatever chance he'd had at rekindling his relationship with his brother was now a moot point. Not that he necessarily regretted finally letting Alphonse know; no, he'd resigned himself to the fact that the younger blonde deserved to know. But with that, Ed had also resigned himself to Alphonse agreeing with his original thought that it would be best if the older blonde didn't hang around, and he couldn't have been more surprised when the weight of a warm coat fell over his shoulders and a steaming mug of coffee was thrust under his nose.
"It's cold. I know you're nearly indestructible, but there's no need for you to freeze."
Roy sat heavily down on the bench next to the blonde, gloved hands wrapped around his own mug and taking a long sip of what Ed assumed was coffee inside. "So," he murmured conversationally, "What did you learn from your lead?"
The blonde smirked, a half-hearted shadow of the cocky expression Roy had once known, but under the circumstances he wasn't all that surprised.
"That you had no right giving up your position as the Flame Alchemist."
Roy smirked at that, a wholly self-satisfied expression. He'd been lucky, really, that he hadn't accidentally caused any serious damage. Well, Edward's lead had been even luckier. The older man was pleasantly surprised, however, that he didn't have to prod the blonde for an answer to the actual question.
"It was just as I'd originally thought: Drachma's government's got its hands full and can't control its people anymore. The ones willing to risk the trip are making their way out before the country collapses in on itself and their all left in the ensuing chaos. Unfortunately, for us, not all of the 'refugees' are just looking for a stable government and some peace and quiet."
"Hence the conflicting reports of frightened refugees and violent soldiers," Roy concluded. The questioning look on the younger man's face as he looked up clearly wanted to know how the former Colonel knew that when it had all been classified information. The smirk on the older man's face clearly said that he hadn't lost all of his informants. The older man's voice grew thoughtful as he continued, "And your lead?"
"Rost isn't a troublemaker," Ed objected, a bit harshly considering the unasked question. "I've been tailing him since I got up here and I haven't once seen him involved in anything even remotely illegal. He was just scared; he was in the Drachman military," another of the blonde's suspicions confirmed, "And with all the people turning against the government he wanted to get out before he was hanged for principles' sake. He thought I was going to turn him into Hakuro and get him deported; that's why…"
The sentence didn't really need finishing, but Roy did anyway. "That's why he panicked and tried to shoot you, inadvertently shooting your brother instead."
Ed just nodded, staring into the opaque brown liquid in his mug. "How is he?"
"Worried about you." The older man slouched back on the bench and took another long sip from his mug. "He thought you'd run away again; luckily I confirmed from a few nurses that you were still in the hospital."
"…So I guess he told you…"
The blonde's posture hadn't changed much since Roy had first exited the hospital, however there was a distinctly more melancholy droop to the younger man's shoulders and his hands clenched now around the mug. Mustang was almost certain Ed would rather just hear that no, Alphonse hadn't spoken a word to him about what had transpired between the brothers; but then, he'd never been one to out-and-out lie to either Elric when it concerned their sibling. "Yes, he did." He took the ensuing silence as an indication to continue, though what exactly he was supposed to say, Roy wasn't entirely certain. "I can't exactly say it's unexpected. But then, it's not exactly a surprise either."
That managed to grab the younger man's attention, and that blonde braid whipped over Ed's shoulders as he turned to look up at the older man in…well, something between surprise and outright shock.
Roy just smiled that same enigmatic almost non-smile he'd been giving his former subordinate throughout the night and obliged the unasked question in those wide golden eyes. "You two have been through more over the course of fourteen years than most people experience in a lifetime. Your lives have been marked with tragedy after tragedy, some of them your own doing, some of them not, but all of them events that have profoundly impacted your lives and personalities
"Believing that you had no one else to rely on after your mother's death, it is understandable that you would gravitate towards each other. That bond only grew in intensity when you gave your arm to save Alphonse's life. You two spent four years searching and suffering together to find a way to restore yourselves and, after all of this it's impossible to imagine that that bond hadn't grown until it was impossible to sever, even in death."
Edward's gaze flinched away, but the older man just continued.
"I did my best with the information I had to fill in Alphonse's lost memories but it wasn't until you came back that he was finally able to get the whole story. After you disappeared again, I spoke many times to your brother about his feelings about it." The older man paused then and reached out, turning Edward's chin with a finger so their gazes met; he wanted to make sure that the blonde actually listened to what he was saying and understood it clearly. "Considering what Alphonse told me and yet he has ultimately only experienced those five years second-hand, it isn't that far of a leap to make the conclusion that you might feel the same way, having experienced those years first-hand."
The blonde just stared openly at his former commanding officer, not sure if he wanted to believe what the older man seemed to be insinuating. If he was wrong, then that meant that things would just go back to the way they'd been that past year, except far more awkward; if Roy was telling the truth, however, then that meant that that entire past year had been…completely pointless.
"Edward." The sound of his name made the younger man blink back into focus and he tried to concentrate on what Roy was saying. "I cannot claim to know much about the relationship between two brothers, however, even if I could I doubt it would do me much good in this situation. What you and Alphonse have been through is entirely unique to yourselves, as far as history can tell, and there is no one other than yourselves that can fairly judge either of you for the way you care about each other."
Mustang seemed to be able to read into exactly what Edward needed to hear and, though he'd often done it while the blonde had been working under the older man, this time seemed to be a bit above and beyond what Roy might have been able to find from his network of spies. So then how…?
"Alphonse…" Ed's voice was little more than a breath, and his brother's name seemed to fade away with the little cloud of breath that puffed from the blonde's mouth. Of course the younger blonde would have been suffering through the same ordeal if what Roy was saying was true! His only answer was a nod from the older man.
A quiet crackling sound caught Roy's attention and he let his gaze drop to the untouched mug in the blonde's hands, the right clenched tightly around it. In a quick movement that startled Edward, he lifted the mug from the younger man's hands and placed it, with his own, on the far side of the bench. "Stop that, Edward," he chided, "You know better than most that brooding over the past does no one any good. Forget the 'what-ifs' and concentrate on the future."
"But… I can't…"
Roy raised an eyebrow at the younger man, his expression clearly confused.
"I don't even understand why you're telling me this," Edward continued, "I couldn't… You two… You're happy together… You're good together, and I…" Have no right to interfere with that. It had been the one thought that had kept his desires in check. But in two sentences, Roy managed to banish it completely.
"Edward," the older man murmured, leaning in towards the blonde, eyes lowering lazily, "It has been three years since you've truly spoken to your younger brother, so it is understandable that you don't know this. But Alphonse and I, while we do have our differences, our similarities far outweigh them."
The moment Roy saw realization dawn on the younger man's face, he closed the distance between them and captured Edward's lips with his own. The kiss was deep and thorough and confident on both ends, and it was a far cry from the hesitant questioning kiss the blonde had shared with his brother. Once Edward recovered from the initial surprise, his arms snaked up around the older man's neck, practically clinging to him as if he was afraid Roy might come to his senses and pull away at any moment.
It didn't happen, and by the time the kiss came to a mutual end, both men were rather breathless. Ed wasn't sure if that meant that both of them were quite sane, or if they both just had yet to come to their senses; either way, he wasn't sure he really cared. And with the look on Roy's face, he wasn't entirely sure he cared either.
A gloved hand slipped up to the younger man's hair and brushed through it slowly, eventually coming to rest at the back of Edward's head and, both men flashing the other a faint smile, Roy used that hold to pull the blonde against him, resting his chin on the top of his head. "Are you going to come back up to the room so we can talk?"
The younger man snorted, "You have to ask?"
Roy tugged that braid teasingly before letting go and handing Edward back his mug. "I nearly forgot," he added, reaching over to a bag the blonde hadn't noticed before and tugging out a book, which he subsequently handed over to Ed. "You left this on the train; Alphonse seemed convinced that it held some significance to you and that you would want it back."
As he reached out to take the book, Edward couldn't look away from the elaborate array on the cover, the swirling lines a distinct contrast to the block letters of the title, "Alchemy." A quick flip through the pages, peppered with notes in Hohenheim Elric's sharp script, confirmed that it was, indeed, the text that Ed had accidentally left behind on the train, and his thoughts wandered from there…
Shit…
"Roy, what day is it?"
The older man faltered before answering. "Thursday."
"Good," Ed sighed, standing and carrying both his mug and the book back towards the hospital, "I don't have time to find him another birthday present anyway."
-The End