Disclaimer: "I myself have noticed my growing resemblance to a daffodil." (1)
(An: Well, here we go again. I know I haven't been writing any fanfictionseveral people sigh in reliefbut I've been working on some stuff that might actually make me money, so ner. Anyway, responses: Di: -pats- Exams are scary. But you guys have time to study. Over here in the states we have random quizzes. -shudders- SF: Gone for a week? Well, it doesn't really matter, since it's been like a week since I updated... -sheepish grin- Ooh, I likes. Yelling about directions: always good. DCDDFD: I know, it's hard to type typos on purpouse! My friend give me funny looks (figuratively anyway) when I gripe about their bad spelling on MSN messenger. I make up words and people stare at me, but they end up using them anyway... -evil smirk- Word in point: cooly. Seriously, start using it. People will hate you, and then they'll start saying it completely by accident... tangent, right, response. Yep, it was inspired by Finding Nemo... Yep, Bobby's bi. It's funny. Well, if -you- were a sexy poolboy and people kept calling you "LeBeau" and asking if you were gay, wouldn't you be offended? Besides, the "ultimate insult" around guys is calling them gay. -shakes head- And I watched Legally Blonde this weekend! I'm gonna go have to dredge up my tape now... Anyway, weren't they good? -squees- My name, M.A., is short for Mary Anne, which everyone always spells wrong, so I shortened it. Anyway, I could've gotten an infuriority complex (four of my aunts are Marys or Annes, and one is Mary Ann, spelled like that, so I have reason to be P.O.'ed.).Yep, it's Morph. He likes messing w/ people's heads. Ooh, randomness! I will SO use that in conjuction with SF's ideas! ETA: ETA! -hops around, humming the halleluja chorus and muttering about first FFN reviewer- Sexchange? I can use that! And the latter half of your edress didn't show up, chiclet! PhantomPunkEvo: Um... thanks for the... enthusiasm! I know, the summary was deceptive, but there won't be Romy for a while... I'm bad at giving what I promise... Yes, Jott will suffer, but what does GERAH mean? And to inform everyone, this chappy's my attempt to tie up most of the storylines and reduce them all so it's easier for all of us ('specially me) to keep track...)
BACK WITH BOBBY AND JP...
"So, do you think-" JP began, but Bobby slapped a hand over his mouth.
"Don't say it!" Bobby hissed, removing his hand.
"Why not?"
"'Cause if you say something like 'we outran them' they'll catch up! Don't you watch movies!"
"Good point."
"Now if we walk really slowly, we might just stay ahead of them..."
JP blinked, then followed.
AT THE HOTEL...
Since Alie had the key to the liquor case, the X-group was getting good and drunk...
WITH KURT, WHEREVER THE HECK HE IS...
"So what is your name, really?" Kurt asked of the girl, who'd climbed down
"AJ!" she cried. "And you're... Kally, right?"
"It's Kurt!"
"Kurt, right... hi! I'm AJ!" (2)
Kurt began to bang his head against the wall.
"Doesn't that hurt?"
"It's gonna be a long night..." Bob muttered.
BACK IN THE SEWERS...
"You know, I keep getting the feeling we're missing something," JP commented.
"Eh, that's just the author and her addiction with POV hopping. Don't mind it; just keep walking." (3)
JP shrugged and followed.
AT THE X-HOTEL...
Rogue had come back, muttering to herself (well, figuratively, anyway). The scene that met her was chaos. To explain it fully, we'll have to back up a bit...
ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO...
Soy had finally arisen from his drunken slumber, as had Rob. "¿Cualquier persona tiene aspirina? Realmente lo necesito, hombre..." (Does anyone have aspirin? I really need it, man...)
"Sorry, dude, used the last of it..." said Rob, who was feeling much better now.
"Usted aspira." (According to Babelfish, you suck.)
"Hey, dude, that's just rude, ok? Here, have some ice," Rob said, flinging some at him.
"OW!" Soy shouted, ducking the ice. He ran out into the hallway and nearly got trampled by some more of those weird mutant cockroaches. "OW!"
"VIVE LE REVOLUTION!" Yep, it was the cannon guy, riding out and once again trying to fire it.
This time it worked, and Soy got catapaulted across the hallway, screaming all the way.
Rob came out, looking for his friend, and seeing what the cannon guy had done, decided to attack him.
And that was when Rogue came in.
"Oh, hi Rogue!" Rob yelled, holding the cannon guy in a headlock.
Ah'm not gonna ask... not that Ah could, anyway...
BACK IN THE SEWER...
After a lot of walking, Bobby and JP finally found Aurora, hanging from the ceiling. JP bent back his head to inspect her. "How'd you get up there?"
Aurora glared down at him. "I got chased by a bunch of short people with axes who kept calling me an elf, and I tried to blast my way out, and I got stuck. So sue me!"
JP shook his head. He used his special flight-power-things to get her down. As soon as they landed, he said, "I keep telling you, our motto should be 'Born to fly real fast and crash into things.'" (3)
"And I keep telling you, it's dumb. Ooh, who's he? He's cute!"
"Hey, I saw him first."
"I'M STRAIGHT!"
"Right," said both of the twins.
"I am! And my name's Bobby."
"So what now?" JP asked.
"I say that we go that way," Aurora suggested.
"Yeah, but that's back to the dwarves!"
"Hey guys!" Bobby said.
"So? We can blind 'em!"
"Guys..."
"There were about a million of them. With axes. And we have to bring Bobby."
"GUYS!"
"So?"
"Hey, FROG DUDES!" Bobby yelled, carefully pronouncing each syllable. (4)
The twins stopped arguing to look at him, eyes narrowing. "What?"
"You ever consider that could be the way out?" Bobby asked, pointing at a staicase with a sign that said "Exit" over it.
"Oh."
They headed up the staircase. "You do realize," said JP to Bobby, "that we're going to kill you for the frog dudes comment, right?"
"Well, yeah..."
WITH JOTT...
Jean and Scott woke up in darkness. "ARM YOURSELVES!" cried their penguin guard, throwing paintball guns at them.
They blinked, their small brains taking an improportional amount of time to process the request.
Their penguin guard led them to a large room where the zombie-goggle-wearing-fish-wielding penguins were all lined up, but now instead of goggles they were wearing bandannas and wielding paintball guns.
General Pengy was sitting on his throne, grinning... well, sort of. "And now, the game can commence! The teams are GWPUTA and his girlfriend against everybody else! GO!"
Jott's screams were muffled by thousands of feathers and the sound of paintball splats.
BACK AT THE HOTEL...
The scene that met Bobby and the twins was just as much chaos as the scene that met Rogue, considering it had only been a few minutes since she'd gotten back. "Hi, Rogue," Bobby said. "What's going on?"
Rogue just glared at him and stormed off to her room.
"What was up with her?" Aurora asked.
Bobby shrugged. "She's prone to random angst, like every other X-person. It's the way of the world."
"Well, remind me never to quit Alpha Flight for your team, then," said JP. (5)
It just so happened just at that moment that Renee the Sexy Poolboy and Hank came out of Hank's room. Renee was huddled in the fetal position and trembling. He was muttering something unitelligible in his native tongue. "You see?" Hank said, oblivious. "Now you're sober."
"Eep..."
"Who's that?" JP asked, cocking his head.
His sister jabbed him in the side with her elbow. "Down, boy."
"What? He's wearing a Speedo. He's fair game!"
ON THE IMMIGRANT BUS...
The immigrants (which included Our Heroes) were lined up and the BP were inspecting them.
"Should we do something?" Jamie whispered to Logan.
"Nah, kid, they're just doin' their job. We deserve it for ridin' in an immigrant truck."
Meanwhile, Tabby and Jubes were trying to remember how to use their powers. "We can take 'em, Jubesy!"
"Jus' let me find my hands and we'll do it!"
To sum up, Jubes and Tabby remembered and kicked the BP dudes' collective asses.
"Well... uh, that worked, anyway," said M.A. "I guess we should start walking now, huh?"
"Yep," said everyone else in unison.
(And that's that. Short but good, I hope.)
(1) Anyone who guesses where this is from gets a big no-prize.
(2) I'm seeing how long I can go before this joke can annoy me... :)
(3) Ditto, and also I keep hopping to avoid annoyingly boring phrases like "They kept walking" or "He followed" too much.
(4) Paraphrased from Men in Black. I want to parody that movie eventually, with Bobby as Jay.
(5) He ended up doing that... eventually...