Disclaimer: "Nothing says love like a monkey. It's a fuzzy screeching bundle of tenderness!"

(An: Sorry I'm so slow... I'm lazy... that's me. Has anyone noticed? (You can thank PB for plugging me and giving me my inspiration back.) Anyway: DCDDFD: I'm very picky about the spelling. It's two words, capital A with an e. Everyone seems to spell it like this or like this: Maryann or Mary ann. Weird, no? It's really annoying. Ooh, was that by Cheesy Monkey? I love her fics! K will be Logan (duh, crusty old guy with an attitude problem), the Morgue Chick, Laurel, will be Rogue (another duh, 'cause she's creepy and Bobby hits on her), and the icky bug guy will probably be Mastermind, 'cause of his habit of possesing people and my habit of putting minor chars in major parts. -grins- Di: I like the length, thank you! And they aren't pop quizzes, they're evil little things, sprung upon us at random times by our evil teacher... I don't really care, though! It was Neal! You get a banana! (Or something banana-like.) Nee! Institute stuph! But I'm open to suggestions as well. ETA: Howdy? Heh heh, you made a pun. I like puns. I do believe I've noticed the sister/sister mutual loathing... Of course I'm pleased! I owe you Rodna-the-never-ending-hamster-plot-device!)

AT THE X-HOTEL

Kitty was scowling. She had nothing to do... then she got an idea! She decided to go look for the other X-band members, to see how many people remained of their original group and thus, how screwed they really were.

She found Ray in the pool, naturally.

"Oh, thank God, I thought I was going to be stuck down there forever, did you know that the hotel has a race of sentient mer people and I was their king and-"

Kitty checked off Ray on the list and shoved him back in the pool. "You, like, talk too much."

She walked out into the hallway and found Rob trying to raise Soy. Then she spotted JP, who was waiting for Rob to acheive this so he could flirt with him.

"I'm bored," Aurora moaned. "Why aren't there any asses around to kick?" she demanded of Bobby.

"This is a humor story. Humor. There's not even a plot!" Bobby replied.

"You make less and less sense the more you open your mouth," JP said.

"I get that a lot," Bobby responded, looking confused.

"Let's go outside!" Aurora cried, grabbing her brother's hand.

Bobby sighed and headed after them. "Oh, hey, Kitty," he said, keeping a nervous five feet distance between them at all times.

"CHECK!" Kitty cried as though she'd just been awarded the Cadillac at the Bingo hall.

"Hey, did you guys know this hotel has a pond?" Aurora asked as they exited the hotel. "Let's go check it out!"

"Did you eat those brownies?" JP demanded, still being dragged along behind her. "'Cause I really didn't like the way they smelled. I totally think they were spiked."

"Maaaybe..."

"You did, didn't you!"

"Does it matter?"

"YES, dammit!"

"Hey, look! A frog!" Bobby shouted, not-very-inconspicuously changing the subject.

"Where?" the twins demanded, pausing in their argument.

Said frog was sitting by the pond. "What? I'm not an enchanted frog. I mean, uh- ribbit," said the frong. (1)

"OOH!" Aurora cried, springing at the frog.

"You are such an idiot," JP muttered. "I'm embarrased to be related to you."

Aurora ignored him and held up the frog. She patted it, the frog making unhappy squeaky noises. She kissed its head 'cause she's weird like that. (2) And, because he's a frog like that, the frog suddenly turned into a guy... Todd Tolensky in fact. (3) "DIBS!" Aurora shrieked.

"Damn," JP muttered.

Aurora began to make eyes at the disoriented Todd. He wasn't THAT disoriented, of course, and ran off screaming, "SARA!" (4)

"They always do that," Aurora sniffled.

"Can we go back inside now?" JP asked.

ON THE X-QUEST...

The X-group (and Thorn and her animal friends)

"Where are we?" Amara demanded of Thorn.

"How would I know?" she replied.

"Because you know everything?"

"We're lost, Amara, deal with it," Rahne said.

"We aren't lost!" Sam cried.

"Are you sure about that?" Amara asked of him.

"Of course we're not!"

"So then where are we, oh great sage?"

"We're right here on this very spot of course!" Sam cried triumphantly. Rahne and Amara fell over, anime-style. "Being lost isn't a matter of knowing where you are; it's simply a matter of knowing where you aren't." (5)

"Riiight..." said Thorn. "Hey, look, there're more people coming!" She shaded her eyes and pointed down the road.

In the way of fanfic cliches (and because I am getting seriously SICK of all this POV hopping), it was Our Heroes (and those annoying other people).

"Jubilee?" Amara asked, shading her eyes.

"You KNOW those freaks?" Thorn demanded, pointing at the group... who, admittedly, were freaks.

"Hey guys!" Jubilee slurred.

Jamie ran forward and grabbed Rahne's shirt. "Rahne-it-was-awful-there-were-bugs-and-Sue Anna (tm)-and-hamsters-and-Logan-was-lovesick-and-and-we-got-lost-and-there-was-a-psycho-and-and-we-met-Bob-and-he-was-scary-and-Jubes-and-Tabby-are-drunk-and-"

"Jamie, shut up," Sam said.

Jamie began to cry.

"That could be considered an angsty moment... if it didn't involve Sue Anna (tm)... or weren't in this at all," M.A. commented.

"Ok... so now what?" Zee asked.

"You wouldn't by any chance know somebody by the name of Bob the Mexican, would you?" Sam begged.

Everyone from the immigrant bus instantly pointed at him (except Jubes and Tabby, who had passed out). "Hola."

"WE NEED THE CHIHUAHUA SONG!" cried all of the X-questers at once.

"Oh. Sí. Eso. Aquí," said Bob, holding out a very, very dirty piece of paper. (Oh. Yeah. That. Here.)

"So... that's it... we have it now?" Rahne asked.

"I'm not touching that," said Amara.

Sam was dancing with the paper. "WE CAN GO BACK!" he screamed.

"There's one small flaw in that logic," Rahne said. "Where is back?"

"Where are we, period?" Amara asked.

"...Damn," said everyone in perfect unison (or in Spanish).

WITH KURT...

"I bet they're all busy now, getting drunk without me," Kurt muttered.

"Oh, don't be so pessimistic, Katya-" AJ began. (6)

"It's Kurt! I'm a guy!"

"Riiight..."

"What's there to be doubted about that?" Bob wondered, cocking his head.

"You shut up."

Kurt sighed, shook his head, mentally declared it hopeless, and started off down the hallway, still searching for the way out.

(And that's that. It might be a little shorter than usual... and a lot later... but um... yeah. Sorry. Next chapter will be Remy and Di's Big Drunken Adventure (or the quest for Pixie Stix)! Because I promised her.)

(1) A Dave the Barbarian quote which inspired the whole rest.

(2) Anyone who knows which fic of mine has at least fifteen "Like that"s gets a chappy dedicated to them.

(3) I really do like Toad. He's funny.

(4) Sara, the spectacular OC/Todd-snuggle-bunny of the fic "Misfits". Four words: Best. OC. Story. Ever. (Sorry Di, but this, "Flotsam" and "I Need a Really Good Title" take precedence) It's awesome. Go read it. NOW.

(5) Philosiphy from "The Phantom Tollbooth."

(6) Kurt's name in the gender-switch oneshot I'm working on. -grins-